


Big spender

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: A lot more story than I had thought, AU, Age Difference, Angst, First Impressions, Flirting, Fluff, Humour, Kink - providing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Proper soap opera territory!, Referenced Emotional Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Sugardaddy!Robert, Supportive Aaron, True Love, grumpy aaron, supportive robert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:45:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 86,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7657828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a truth universally acknowledged that a loaded, sexy bastard of a man must be in want of someone to love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stulot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stulot/gifts).



> So this fic was inspired by Stulot drooling over a suited and booted Robert (weren't we all!) and saying how much of a sugardaddy he looks in that infamous shot of him and Aaron sitting at the bar. I hope you enjoy this, love! 
> 
> Ratings are likely to go up. At the moment, I don't have much of a plot in mind for this, but I'm certain that will change as I write it. I will add/change tags accordingly as I add chapters. I also apologise for the title! But when I'm dealing with rich Robert, what do you expect of me?? 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this first chapter. Let me know what you think! Happy reading :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic was inspired by Stulot drooling over a suited and booted Robert (weren't we all!) and saying how much of a sugardaddy he looks in that infamous shot of him and Aaron sitting at the bar. I hope you enjoy this, love!
> 
> Ratings are likely to go up. At the moment, I don't have much of a plot in mind for this, but I'm certain that will change as I write it. I will add/change tags accordingly as I add chapters. I also apologise for the title! But when I'm dealing with rich Robert, what do you expect of me??
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this first chapter. Let me know what you think! Happy reading :)

Aaron froze momentarily at the car waiting for him at the garage. It had only just gone 9am—how long had this guy been waiting for? He strolled past and unlocked the door, then heard the car door opening behind him. He rolled his eyes and sighed. Not even chance of making a cup of tea.

‘You’re finally open then?’ said the man.

Aaron spun on his heel. ‘Can you not read opening hours, mate?’ he said. That the man was a walking, talking Adonis just didn’t matter to him. He was clearly arrogant and ignorant of everything but himself. ‘We open at 9!’

‘Yeah, and it’s now,’ he checked his watch, ‘three minutes past.’

‘And you can wait another five while I make a cuppa.’

The man sneered and scoffed. ‘You treat all your customers like this, do you?’

‘Only the ones who deserve it.’ True to his word, Aaron put the kettle on but knowing that his uncle would give him an earful if he let a customer go, he wandered back outside. The guy was leaning against his car. He radiated rich pretention. He was dressed in a navy suit; white shirt. His blonde hair cut short. His jaw was sharp, his eyes blue. If he wasn’t such a prick, Aaron would fancy the pants off him. ‘So,’ he said. ‘What needs doing?’

‘She’s making a weird sound,’ he said. ‘Engine was fine when I last checked, so I just need someone to give her the once over.’ He reached through the window and popped the bonnet. Aaron shook his head.

‘I’m not doing it for you right this second, mate,’ he said. ‘You have to wait. There’s a queue.’

The suit looked around. ‘I don’t see anyone else here.’

‘There’s cars that’ve been in here since yesterday.’

‘So what if I paid extra?’

‘I’d say you’re a rich git who can’t take no for an answer.’

For some reason, that made him smile. ‘Really? Okay. Well, I don’t suppose I need it until after noon today. D’you think you could get it done for then?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Maybe.’ He watched as the man shook his head in amusement and took out his mobile, calling for another car. ‘You’re not from around here, are you?’ he said.

‘What makes you say that?’

He put his hands in his pockets. ‘Flashy car, big money that you think will work as a bribe? Speaks for itself.’

‘Thank you for the analysis.’ He reached into his pocket again, and this time pulled out a wad of cash and a business card. ‘I know you said money wouldn’t work as bribery, but how about this for a tip? And call me when it’s done.’

Aaron scoffed. ‘I’ll take this,’ he said reaching for the business card. ‘I don’t need your money though, thanks.’

‘Suit yourself. That’ll go through to my workplace,’ he said, pointing to the card. ‘Ask for Robert Sugden. They’ll put you through.’

He walked off without a confirmation from Aaron. The young mechanic shook his head. He couldn’t stand people like that.

****

‘And then the receptionist was all “Are you sure he’s expecting a call from you?”’

‘Yeah, and then you said just forget it, he can pick it up never for all I care. You’ve told me this already, man!’ Adam sat back in his seat, taking a long drink from his pint. 

Aaron jigged his leg up and down and picked at the cardboard coaster. ‘Sorry. He just wound me up.’

‘Yeah, I got that alright!’ He kicked Aaron’s shin. ‘You sure that’s all it is?’

‘You what?’

‘Well, rich guy, bit of a looker. Sure you weren’t, y’know—’ He gestured wildly at him, until Aaron turned beet red.

‘You have got to be joking! The guy was infuriating as hell! No! Just no!’

Adam sniggered and held his hand up. ‘You know, if Vic were here she’d be saying about ladies and protesting too much.’

‘Yeah, you’re a right laugh you two, aren’t you?’ Aaron shook his head. ‘He tried to give me this huge wad of cash to do his car! What kinda person does that?’

‘The kind that wants his car doin’ quickly? Or the kind who wants to impress?’

Aaron scoffed. ‘Yeah, well he can stuff his money.’

Cain ambled over to them after a while, pint in one hand and keys in the other. ‘Oi, soft lad, here.’ He threw the keys onto the table in front of Aaron. ‘Some guy wants to get his car. Insisted he saw _you_ though. If you wanna carry on with him though, be sure to do it somewhere that isn’t the back of one of our cars.’

‘I’ve got a drink.’

Cain shrugged. ‘He wants to see you.’ He gestured out the door with a nod of his head before walking off.

‘Hey, Sugardaddy wants to see you.’

Aaron took a swipe at Adam’s head. ‘Don’t even go there!’ But he was grinning. Sugardaddy indeed. Mr Moneybags just wanted to throw his cash around and show himself off a bit. Well, he had another think coming if he thought Aaron was going to bow down to him just because he carried £50 notes in his wallet. He finished his pint and picked up the keys.

****

Robert Sugden was waiting by the garage, dressed in the same suit he had been in this morning, hands in pockets. Aaron caught his eye and the man smirked.

‘Good to see you again,’ he said.

‘Yeah, whatever.’ He unlocked the door. ‘Too early this morning and too late this afternoon. Your Rolex broken is it?’

‘No no. It’s working fine. Though I’m surprised you recognised a Rolex. Didn’t think you’d ever seen one before.’

‘Listen mate, if you don’t—’ But he stopped when he saw Sugden’s grinning face. He was winding him up. ‘Yeah. Funny. You should be on the fucking stage.’

Aaron threw him the keys and Sugden deftly caught them. ‘Thanks for sorting it out so quickly,’ he said, voice sincere for the first time. ‘You sure you won’t take that tip?’

‘No, thanks. Just doin’ my job.’ He watched as Sugden opened the door and, against all of his better judgement, couldn’t help his eyes wandering over his long limbs and broad shoulders filling out the suit. He swallowed.

‘Fine. How about a drink then?’

Aaron blinked, the words not quite washing over him. ‘You what?’

‘A. Drink.’ He said slowly, widening his eyes. ‘Tomorrow lunchtime? Just to say thanks for getting the car sorted.’

And, against all of his better judgement, Aaron found himself nodding and agreeing. Sugden smirked and got into his car, driving off but not before rolling the window down. ‘I’ll pick you up at 12, yeah?’ Aaron nodded again, like an idiot. What had he just agreed to?

Adam wasn’t going to let him live this down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [Port in a Storm ](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that a loaded, sexy bastard of a man must be in want of someone to love.
> 
> Or the sugardaddy!Robert AU that was begging to be written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so, the marvelous Stulot and I have been talking and squealing and all the rest of it over this story, and we decided that it would be VERY AU. Just to put in a few of the changes I made: Gordon did not abuse Aaron. I will explore more what happened to Aaron when he was younger, but all you guys need to know for know is that he was not abused. He also didn't help Jackson to die: in this chapter, Aaron will talk about his boyfriends. But this also means that he doesn't self-harm, but as a result, Aaron is very reckless and he still has a lot of anger/anxiety issues, the first of which will make itself prominent in the first part of this chapter.
> 
> More AU elements will make itself apparent throughout the story, but I won't give it all away now ;)
> 
> Happy reading, you beautiful creatures!

Aaron didn’t quite know what to make of the man who had asked him with all confidence and charisma if he fancied a drink. He was nothing like the men he usually fancied: office suits and soft office hands to go with it, he’d imagine. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Not his type at all usually. But there was something about him that Aaron was drawn to. Maybe his arrogance. Or his sarcasm. Definitely not his attitude towards money, but that was kind of by the by.

‘Oi! You working on that car or what?’ Cain shouted. Aaron jumped and snarled at his uncle. ‘I don’t pay you to daydream, lad!’

‘Aww, he’s thinkin’ about his date aren’t you, mate?’

Aaron turned to glare at his friend. ‘Where the hell did you pop up from?’

‘Mum wanted me to have a work with him about the quad,’ Adam said, nodding at Cain. ‘So, how’re you feelin’?’

‘About what?’

‘About wh—about your _date_ , you idiot!’

‘It’s not a date!’ Aaron said. He walked over to the tools on the table to pick up a wrench. ‘Just drinks.’

‘Oh aye?’ Cain sniffed. ‘Drinks with who?’ He frowned when Aaron looked shifty. ‘Not with that rich ponce who picked up his car last night?’

‘It’s just a drink!’

‘I bet you did do it in the back of one of these cars, didn’t you eh? You dirty so-and-so!’ Cain and Adam shared a cackle and Adam playfully slapped Aaron’s backside.

‘You didn’t, did ya?’

‘No, I bloody well didn’t!’ Aaron shouted. He aimed a punch at Adam’s shoulder. ‘I barely even know the guy! He just wanted to thank me for doin’ the car so quickly.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Cain said, tongue in cheek. ‘Well, he must be one grateful customer then, taking you out.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Well, he was dressed to the nines, wasn’t he? And look at you, in your overalls.’ 

Aaron shrugged. ‘Didn’t seem to bother him yesterday.’

Adam grinned. ‘So this is a date then? If you’re thinkin’ about what he thinks of you!’

‘Listen, right, this isn’t a date; it’s drinks! And even if it was a date, who cares what some ponce in a suit thinks, anyway?’ He threw down the wrench and backed away from the car.

‘Oi! We’re only messing!’ Cain yelled after his nephew. ‘No need to get your knickers in a twist, is there?’

Aaron put his hands on his hips and breathed. He was ultra aware of Adam and Cain giving him wary looks, wondering if he’d lose his rag again. It had happened so many times over the past few months: say a wrong word to Aaron, and he’d lose it completely. It had got to the point that Paddy didn’t feel safe leaving Aaron and Leo alone, something which broke Aaron’s heart. 

He concentrated on breathing. _It’s just a laugh; they’re only having a laugh,_ he told himself. _Nothing to get worked up over._ Calming down, he walked back to the garage, feeling awkward at the tension.

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled.

Adam gave him a one armed hug. ‘Hey, don’t worry, lad. We’re sorry an’ all.’

Aaron nodded, and got back to work, trying to ignore the looks Cain and Adam threw him and each other behind his back.

****

Cain sent him away early so that he could clean up after a day of working with oil and dirt. He deliberated the clothes he should wear before eventually deciding on jeans and a jumper, keeping it casual, but warm enough for the crisp February air. He thanked his lucky stars that his Mum was behind the bar today, and so couldn’t interrogate him about where he was off to at this time of day. He arrived back at the garage just as Robert Sugden’s rich-as-all-hell car pulled up.

Once again, seeing the man’s long limbs covered in a suit (pink shirt this time, with navy blue trousers, tie and blazer) made Aaron’s breath stutter and he felt a twitch in his groin. No one should be allowed to look that good. Especially just for drinks at lunch. 

When Robert saw him, he smiled, but Aaron spread his arms and looked down at his own clothes.

‘I feel a little underdressed.’

‘Well I did say I was taking you out to drinks,’ the other man replied, not that he looked too fussed about Aaron’s wardrobe choice.

‘Yeah, at lunch time,’ Aaron said. ‘Which to me means pub. Not some swanky place where you have to wear a suit to get in.’

‘You’ll be fine.’

‘I’m wearing jeans!’

‘Relax! I’m only wearing this ‘cause I’m on lunch from work. Which we are wasting valuable time bickering through, so?’ He opened the passenger door for Aaron, and then walked around to get in the driver’s seat. Aaron’s eyebrow twitched upwards. He thought that kind of stuff—opening doors, being _chivalrous_ as Charity would say with a flutter of her eyelashes—only happened to women in the black and white movies Lisa liked to watch.

Aaron got in the car, admiring the soft leather and the interior. No one he knew could afford a car like this. Robert must have inherited it. ‘Where’re we going?’

‘That’s a surprise.’ Robert said with a grin.

‘Sorry to disappoint, mate, but I don’t do surprises.’

‘Well you’ll like this one.’ Robert said. Aaron put his hand on the door handle, making to get out. ‘Okay, okay. It’s just a bar that I go to sometimes. Nothing fancy.’

Aaron nodded and buckled up. Robert started the car and soft piano music started playing.

‘So why were you in Emmerdale yesterday?’ Aaron asked, after the silence had dragged on for a little while. 

‘Just a business deal,’ Robert replied. ‘I just signed a contract with a haulage company. Home James. You heard of it?’

‘Yeah, I know it. So that’s what you do then? Haulage stuff?’

Robert indicated left. Aaron looked around. He didn’t usually come to this part of Hotten. ‘We make arrangements for parties, meetings, that kind of thing. The haulage company is useful for getting tables and equipment back and forth.’

‘Right.’

‘Yeah. Well, I can tell I’m keeping you hooked with my conversation,’ he said playfully. He pulled up skilfully in a parking space. ‘But we’re here.’

Aaron’s eyes widened when he saw the cocktail bar: all dark exterior, moody lighting, and suited men and petite women in dresses. ‘Here?’ he yelped. ‘Nothing fancy, you said.’

‘Well we’re here now, aren’t we?’ He got out and Aaron had no choice but to follow him. The patrons in suits and dresses looked Aaron up and down to the point that he felt dreadfully out of place in his jeans and green jumper. When they sat at a table near the window, Aaron fidgeted.

‘Get some drinks in you. It’ll help,’ Robert advised, obviously picking up on his unease.

‘Getting me drunk?’

Robert grinned when he saw an iota of a smile on Aaron’s face. ‘Repaying you for a job well done,’ he said. He passed Aaron the menu. ‘Choose anything you like.’ Aaron’s eyes scanned the menu, looking for the closest thing to a beer he could find.

Even after a few mouthfuls of his drink, Aaron still felt uncomfortable. He was relieved when Robert struck up a conversation. ‘So, Aaron Dingle of Dingle and Dingle Garage.’ They had done the awkward exchange of names in the car, after Robert realised he didn’t know what Aaron’s was. ‘What do you do?’

‘You mean when I’m not fixing millionaires’ cars?’ It didn’t escape his notice that Robert didn’t deny being a millionaire. ‘Nothin’ really. Hang out with friends. I have a kid sister who keeps me busy when she comes to visit over summer. But… nothin’ excitin’.’ Robert nodded and smirked. ‘What about you? Married were you?’

‘Yeah, I’m an ex-husband.’ Robert didn’t look upset about it. ‘How’d you figure that out?’

Aaron gestured to his ring finger. ‘You keep playin’ with the place the ring should be. My Mum did that for years after she left Gordon.’

‘We’ve got a Sherlock Holmes on our hands.’ He sipped his mocktail (‘I’m driving, so I’d better limit myself’ he’d said) and his smile dropped only a little. ‘We divorced a year and a half ago.’

‘Kids?’

‘No. Well, she had a kid. Don’t really talk about him, to be honest.’

‘A handful, was he?’

‘You could say that.’

‘So now you’re free you, what, just take random people on dates, do you?’

Robert’s eyebrows rose. ‘Who said this was a date?’

‘Wha—no, no one. I just—’

He laughed. ‘I’m just joking! You’d consider this a date then? So I’m not pulling at the wrong stick?’

Aaron laughed and blushed. He shook his head.

‘Good. ‘Cause you’re a closed book, Aaron. One I’d very much like to open.’

Aaron choked on his drink. ‘I can’t believe you just said that!’

‘That’s a great line!’

‘Is it? I’m surprised you got married, mate.’

‘Well, that’s not one of my best. I save those for the second or third dates. Maybe you’ll get to hear them?’

Aaron bit his lip. Robert’s eyes darted to them and filled with lust. ‘Maybe, yeah.’

‘Good.’

After a few moments of silence which was a lot more comfortable than when they first arrived at the bar, Aaron addressed something that had been niggling at his mind for a while. ‘You’re young for someone with his own business. And a car like that,’ he gestured out the window to where Robert’s prized vehicle was parked. 

‘I’ll take that as a compliment!’ Robert chuckled. ‘I started fairly young: left home as a teenager, was lucky enough to find a decent job, and I was good at it. I got promoted a few times, and here I am now.’

‘Great story!’

‘You asked!’ They shared a smiled. ‘So, you know about my past as a husband. How about you?’

‘Nah, I wasn’t a husband.’ He grinned to show he knew what Robert was getting at. ‘My first boyfriend was great, but it didn’t really work out: realised we were too different and parted ways. Second boyfriend, well he was nice, but we didn’t have much in common. Apart from amazing sex.’ He took some perverse joy in Robert choking on his drink. ‘The third boyfriend was… well he was a bit of a tosser really.’ He took another sip of his drink, hoping that Robert would have the good sense to recognise that Aaron didn’t want to talk about the last boyfriend. He did. 

Robert, after another ten minutes of lighter talk, checked his watch. ‘I’d better get you back. I need to be at work in an hour.’

‘How long have we been here?’

’45 minutes.’ At Aaron’s horrified look at the thought of rocking up to work late, Robert shrugged and said, ‘We’ll say we got lost.’ He gestured for the bill, and then turned back to Aaron, his eyes serious. ‘Aaron. I have had relationships with men before,’ he said.

‘Okay.’

‘I just want to let you know that I’m bisexual. That’s alright with you, isn’t it?’

Aaron frowned. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’

‘Some people, they… they have a… stereotypical idea of what bisexuals are like, and it’s not flattering.’

‘I don’t judge people by their orientation, Robert,’ Aaron said.

‘Okay. I just wanted to let you know.’ He smiled and Aaron marvelled at the way his eyes crinkled at the edges. ‘I’d like us to get on.’

Aaron bit his lip again and nodded. ‘Yeah. Me too.’

When the bill came, Robert reached into his pocket and so did Aaron. ‘No, I’ll get this,’ Robert said, waving Aaron’s card away.

‘Don’t be stupid.’

‘I’m not. I’ll get this; you can get it the next time.’

Except he didn’t. Because Robert paid the next time and the time after that as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that a loaded, sexy bastard of a man must be in want of someone to love.
> 
> Or the sugardaddy!Robert AU that was begging to be written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so so much for the incredible comments and everyone who has left kudos, or is just reading this! Not a great deal happens in this chapter, but it's just a way to kind of get a feel for the characters in this new 'verse. Hope you all enjoy!

> Tuesday

_A: Thanks for the pub lunch_

_R: You’re welcome. Thought I’d better take you somewhere you’re more in your element ;)_

_A: Stand up comedian as well. I’m spoilt_

Aaron grinned, his fingers flying over the keyboard on his phone. They had only met twice after the cocktail bar, but already he felt Robert was someone he could talk to so easily. Both times had been lunchtime meetings, as Robert worked late into the night sometimes. And without wanting to admit it to himself, Aaron didn’t want to know what an evening date would entail, or how it would end. There was a part of him that didn’t want to be reckless with Robert. 

‘There’s that smile again!’ Adam chuckled. He nudged Aaron’s shin lightly with his foot. ‘Sexting?’

Aaron snorted. ‘No! It’s not all about the sex, you know.’

‘Yeah right.’ Adam grinned, and then he saw Aaron’s averted eyes. His own widened. ‘You mean… what, you haven’t… Are you sure this guy is even gay?!’ Aaron threw him a withering glare, but Adam was nothing if not persistent. ‘You’ve kissed though, right.’ 

‘Course we have!’ Aaron bit his lip and looked around hastily to try to stop Adam seeing his grin. ‘Shut up about it, will you? Mum doesn’t know about him yet. And he’s bisexual, not gay.’

‘Soz.’ Adam lowered his voice. ‘So, why doesn’t your Mum know yet? Why haven’t you told her?’

‘You know how she gets. It’s better for everyone if we just… avoid the issue.’

‘Yeah? And if this guy wants to get more serious, what then?’

Aaron shook his head. ‘He just got out of a divorce. He’s not gonna want anythin’ serious yet.’

****

If anyone asked, Robert _was_ working. He wasn’t daydreaming at all. He wasn’t daydreaming about his and Aaron’s second date at the cocktail bar a week and a half ago (Aaron a lot more at ease than the first time, even though he was in jeans and a coat), and afterwards when they got back into Robert’s car, how Robert had kissed him.

He wasn’t thinking about the split second moment that Robert’s heart stopped when Aaron froze, only to pick up again threefold when he responded; all soft, dry lips, quickly wetted by Robert’s tongue; a little clash of teeth caught because they both smiled into the kiss; then smiling was the last thing on their minds when Aaron pushed Robert back against the seat, leaned over him and practically devoured Robert’s mouth. He wasn’t thinking about the way his pulse raced when Aaron drew back, lips red, cheeks flushed, eyes glimmering with desire. God, it would have been so easy to just ask if he wanted to go back to his, or even the back of the car. But that wasn’t him. Not anymore. So he had stroked a hand down Aaron’s cheek and kissed him again chastely before pushing him back. He had started the car, and his resolve almost broke when Aaron cleared his throat and said, with no small amount of excitement, ‘So, uh, back to yours, or?’

And Robert had smiled, reached over and kissed Aaron again, and shook his head. ‘No, I have to take you back to work.’

‘Seriously? After that?’

Robert grimaced and shrugged. ‘Sorry. But this _is_ only the second date.’

‘Doesn’t bother anyone else.’ But he smiled when Robert gave him another kiss. ‘Fine. Back to the garage then.’ He had shaken his head good-naturedly, and let Robert drive him back to Emmerdale.

His phone pinged. _A: Stand up comedian as well. I’m spoilt._

Robert resisted the urge to smile and looked around. The rest of his colleagues were working, not that any of them would particularly care if he was on his phone, and he typed out a short message. _Spoil you again later. Dinner tomorrow?_

The answer when it came made his face drop. 

_A: Sorry, can’t :( Babysitting my kid cousin._

_R: Okay. Let me know when is good_

He was trying to be as casual as possible. Aaron was quite a catch, but he didn’t want this to be just about sex. He liked him. Something about the dirty little grease monkey got his temperature rising and his pulse racing. He seemed a couple years younger than Robert, but he hoped that wouldn’t deter Aaron. He had slept with people since his ex (he was a man with needs, after all), but had never wanted to pursue a relationship with them. This was something completely different. _Aaron_ felt completely different. He allowed himself another five minutes to daydream whilst he waited to see if Aaron would text him back. He didn’t and Robert felt obligated to get back to work.

****

_A: Sorry. Got caught up in work. How about Saturday?_

_R: Cars up to your elbows was it? :) Saturday’s good. Evening though. I work in the morning._

_A: That’s fine. Where_ \--

‘Are you on that phone again?!’

Aaron jumped and clicked his phone off, but his panic subsided when he realised it was only Dan. He rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, well you turn a blind eye to this, and I won’t tell Cain you snuck off for an hour to see Kerry.’

He smirked when Dan blushed. ‘Fine,’ the man conceded. ‘But just ‘cause you’re the boss’s nephew, don’t mean you get to do what you want.’ 

Aaron knew that Dan didn’t mean anything by it, so he just nodded, but went straight back to his phone. ‘Yeah, whatever. Two minutes.’

_A: That’s fine. Where are we going? And don’t say it’s a surprise!_

_R: Chinese? You eat Chinese, right?_

_A: Yeah._

When he finally put his phone back in his pocket, Aaron couldn’t help noticing the smile that had spread on his face. He caught himself and tried to reign it in. Why was he letting himself get carried away like this? Of course Robert was gorgeous, anyone could see that. And once Aaron got past the initial impression, he turned out to be good company: he was a laugh, he was quite kind, he was just… normal. And Aaron needed normal after Tom. He shook his head before memories of his third boyfriend could build. 

Robert was different, and Aaron wanted to be different around him. He had had a few one night stands, and he knew that Robert was not one of them. They seemed to be building towards something better; more significant. Aaron placed Robert a little older than him, his thirties he’d guess. That didn’t bother him as such: what did bother him was whether or not Robert was looking for someone to settle down with. Aaron wasn’t sure if he was the settling down type: too reckless by far, and mood swings like a pendulum on a clock. He frowned, and picked up the wrench again. He supposed they could have fun, if nothing else.

****

> Wednesday

_R: You left your coat in my car by the way, after the pub. That wasn’t a ruse to get me to come to see you today was it? ;)_

Aaron grinned and bit his lip when he saw the text.

_A: Yeah I only wish I could be that smooth! You can keep it there until next time. I’ve got others._

_R: Next time :) I like the sound of that_

_A: Yeah. Fourth date. There must be something you’ve got planned for the fourth date_

_R: We’ll have to see won’t we? What did you have in mind?_

_A: You know what I have in mind ;)_

_R: Hmm not sure I do. Why don’t you give me a hint ;)_

‘What are you grinning about?’ 

His Mum’s voice made Aaron jump, and his mind was immediately pulled away from the sexting session he had Robert could have engaged in.

‘Nothin’,’ he said, quickly clicking out of his messages. 

‘That was quite a smile you had on!’ she teased. ‘New boyfriend?’

Aaron made a face. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure what he and Robert were. He knew that he liked Robert, and he enjoyed spending time with him. Robert had been fairly frank with him on their first date, laying his cards on the table. And Aaron could imagine them becoming serious. But he didn’t know if the title ‘boyfriend’ could apply yet.

His phone pinged again.

_R: Aaron? You still there?_

Aaron shooed his Mum away. She left, still smiling that inane smile of hers.

_A: Yeah sorry._

_R: No worries :) See you on Saturday, yeah?_

Aaron’s smile dropped. The moment had been clearly lost for both of them. He threw his head back, trying not to curse his mother. His right hand it was, then.

_A: Sounds great._

****

> Thursday

‘Would you look at that, someone got Robert Sugden to smile!’ Robert looked up from his phone and at the smiling faces of his workmate. ‘Ex missus didn’t get run over did she?’

‘Be nice, Clive,’ Robert said, though he couldn’t help a little smirk at the idea.

Clive chuckled. ‘Texting the new boyfriend then, eh?’

Robert frowned. ‘How did you—no, never mind. Wendy.’

‘She tells me everything that you tell her, mate,’ Clive said. 

‘Hm. Some best friend she is.’

‘She may be your bestie, but she’s my wife!’ But Clive was grinning, all too used to Robert spending more time with his wife than he himself did. It was a running joke in the office now that if something was wrong with Wendy, it’d be easier for Clive to ask Robert than it was for him to question his wife. ‘So,’ he continued, not letting the subject drop. ‘How’s it going?’

He shrugged. ‘Fine. Planning the fourth date.’ He didn’t give any other information, and even when Clive asked, Robert didn’t bite. He didn’t want to jinx this, and talking about it to other people (even Wendy only knew the bare minimum) seemed like a sure fire way to run the relationship into the ground. Robert was having fun. Even if nothing else came of it, he knew that he and Aaron could have fun together. He made Robert laugh; he was different to anyone else Robert knew in any circles. He liked him.

‘Right well,’ Clive looked at his watch. ‘It’s gone six and I’m still here. And why are you still working?’

‘Need to get this done for tomorrow.’

‘Right. And what time did you go home last night?’

‘I… don’t know.’

‘Security Sal reckons it was gone 2am by the time you left.’

Robert rolled his eyes. ‘Security Sal is too nosy for her own good.’ He put his hands up in placation when Clive raised his eyebrows. ‘Yeah, fine. I’ll do another hour then shut down.’

He called a goodbye to the rest of his workmates, checked his phone one more time (no messages) and went back to work. It wasn’t like he had anything waiting for him at home anyway. And besides, the less he had to do tomorrow, the more he could dream about his upcoming date with Aaron.

****

Robert’s phone pinged and he looked up from his computer screen. He blinked furiously as his eyes adjusted, then clicked into his messages. ‘Oh my god!’ he breathed, a laugh falling out of his mouth.

_A: you’re a sexy fucker you know wanna climb you like a tree_

He checked the time. It was almost midnight. He guessed Aaron was drunk: he was never usually this forward. Rude, brusque at times, but never this forward when it came to sex.

The three dots of a message being written flashed up again and the next message made Robert shake his head.

_A: climb you like a mountain mate sit on the peak ;)_

Robert blushed. He typed quickly.

_R: Aaron, you’re drunk. Go to sleep._

_A: you don’t want me? i can send you a pic_

_R: No. You’re drunk. Trust me okay, you’ll regret this tomorrow. Go to sleep._

He ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t get another message from Aaron, and assumed that either he had fallen asleep or was sulking. He would thank Robert in the morning when he saw it, and besides, that wasn’t how he wanted things to go with him. 

It didn’t stop his cock from stirring in his trousers though, and he heaved a sigh when he realised that he wasn’t going to get any more work done tonight. He closed down the computer and waved goodbye to Security Sal on his way out the office.

****

> Friday

_A: I am so sorry about last night_

Aaron cradled his pounding head in his hands. When he woke up and saw the last few messages he had sent, he wanted the earth to swallow him. Dear god, what had he been thinking? He wasn’t, that was the thing. Fucking Adam, letting him drink so much. His phone pinged and he whimpered as the sound echoed around his head.

_R: No worries! It was quite amusing actually_

Aaron smiled in spite of himself. He wanted to tell Robert thank you for not taking advantage, but he didn’t know if it sounded weird. But it was true: the man could have got Aaron to do anything last night: send messages, take photos; videos even. But he didn’t. Aaron was grateful for that. He started to type the beginnings of a message and kept deleting it, but before he could do anything else, another message from Robert came through.

_R: I’m at work so I have to go. See you tomorrow night though yeah? I’ll pick you up from the garage_

_A: Okay. See you later_

He looked up when the door opened and his Mum wandered in. ‘Thought I heard your door close late last night,’ she said, seeing the drunken state of him. ‘Didn’t get into anything, did you?’

‘Like what? A skip?’

‘No. You know what I mean.’

He hung his head in exhaustion. ‘No, Mum, I didn’t get into any fights. Adam was with me the whole night.’

‘Right.’ She pat him on the head, and Aaron ducked out of her way. He wasn’t a kid anymore, and he wished she’d remember that. ‘I just worry about you, love.’

‘I know you do, Mum, but I was _fine_ last night.’ 

****

> Saturday

At 6pm the next evening, Robert’s car pulled up to the garage. Aaron gave a little smile and got in. ‘I could’ve driven into Hotten myself, you know,’ he said, buckling his seat belt.

‘I like picking you up,’ Robert said. He smiled and waited until Aaron was comfortable in his seat before leaning across and kissing him gently. ‘You look good.’

Aaron looked down at himself. He had made an effort this time: black trousers and a blue button up shirt, one that Leyla had once said brought out his eyes. ‘Thanks,’ he said. 

Robert drove out of the village, and as soon as they were across the sign welcoming them, Aaron felt himself relax. He didn’t know what it was, but being in that village with all of its gossips, not to mention his overprotective family, was stifling to say the least. He never thought he’d be able to relax in the company of another man again, after Tom, but Robert had proven him wrong.

‘Hey, about last night,’ Aaron began.

‘You’ve apologised, Aaron,’ Robert said. He took his eyes off the road for a second to smile at the man beside him. ‘Honestly, don’t worry about it.’

‘Okay.’ He took a deep breath. ‘What I was gonna say though, was thank you. For not taking advantage. God, can’t believe I said I would send you a photo!’ He put his burning face in his hands.

Robert chuckled kindly. ‘Don’t worry about it. We’ve all done stupid things when we’re drunk. And of course I wouldn’t take advantage of you like that. What kind of bloke would that make me, eh?’

Aaron nodded thoughtfully, and for a moment couldn’t take his eyes off Robert’s face in profile. He had struck lucky. He didn’t want to say it, even to himself because he never got to have good things for very long, but he had struck lucky with this guy. ‘Thanks, anyway.’ He shrugged. ‘Not a lot of people would’ve done that.’

Robert looked at him again, his eyes swimming with curiosity, but he said nothing else. Aaron was glad for it: there were some things that he didn’t want to say on the fourth date. But maybe, if Robert stuck around, well… who knew?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you all so much for the comments on the previous chapters! I'm so glad you're enjoying this so far. 
> 
> I'm posting chapters four and five on the same day because I was writing and writing, and realised that there was too much for a single chapter. So here you go! :)

When Robert had said ‘Chinese’, he was expecting something a little on the small, maybe quaint side. Even better would have been a takeaway, where the food could have gone cold in the bags whilst he and Robert got to know each other better in Robert’s bedroom. He wasn’t expecting a high-class restaurant which wouldn’t look out of place in Mayfair. He swallowed uncomfortably.

‘You okay?’ Robert asked. ‘This is alright, isn’t it?’

Aaron cleared his throat. ‘I wasn’t expecting this, to be honest.’ He wondered if Robert was testing him, or taunting him cruelly. He knew that Aaron wasn’t the type to enjoy this; he had to have known that from their first meeting; Aaron in his scruffy overalls and giving Robert lip. His chest contracted. Would he be that cruel? 

He was about to run out of the restaurant, blow off steam somewhere, when he felt Robert’s guiding hand on the small of his back, pushing him forward gently. ‘We’re sitting over there,’ he said into Aaron’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. 

Robert pulled a chair out for him, but Aaron just looked at it and sat in the next one. 

‘Okay.’ Robert raised his eyebrows. ‘What’s wrong?’ He sat and leaned over the table, lowering his voice.

‘This,’ Aaron hissed. ‘Flashing your high-class and your cash around.’

‘I’m not flashing anything,’ Robert said, then grinned. ‘Not unless you want me to.’ At Aaron’s glare, he sighed. ‘Look, Aaron, I’m not trying to show you up or anything, okay? I… I like to treat you to stuff like this. If you really don’t want to be here, then we’ll go.’

His anger started to dissipate. Robert’s words did a lot to calm him, as did the sincere look in his eyes. ‘No, it’s fine,’ he said, even though it wasn’t. Not _really_ , but he’d get used to it. ‘Hand us the menu then.’ 

They chose their meals, and sat for a moment in silence whilst Aaron looked around the restaurant, admiring the murals on the wall, and the waiters moving lithely around the tables and chairs. Movement on their table dragged his eyes away from a waiter who rose on tip-toes to let someone past them. Robert smiled at him and held up the jug of water, asking silently if Aaron wanted a glass. He nodded.

‘So,’ Robert said. He set the jug back on the table. ‘You clearly had fun on Thursday night?’

Aaron groaned. ‘Oh god, don’t! I am never drinking ever again!’

Robert chuckled. ‘Yeah, I’ve heard _that_ before. I’ve said it a few times myself, in fact.’

Aaron grinned. ‘Yeah, well, I’ve got my best friend to thank for letting me drink so much.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s the last time I go out with him as well!’

Robert smiled. His gaze flitted between Aaron’s eyes and his lips. Aaron couldn’t hide his pleased smirk. He bit on bottom lip teasingly, enjoying the bob of Robert’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed. His smirk turned into a grin. ‘I’d’ve been happy to get a takeaway and go back to yours, you know,’ he said, his voice a low grumble in his throat.

The man opposite him licked his lips. ‘Mm. We’ll see what happens, yeah?’

Aaron frowned. ‘This is the _fourth_ date, Robert, and I’m _hardly_ a blushing virgin.’

‘Yeah, that kiss a few days ago really hammered that one home.’

The air between them was charged. Aaron was surprised people around the restaurant weren’t picking up on it; weren’t stripping off their clothes and humping each other like something out of an erotic film. God, he fancied Robert. And he knew that Robert fancied him. He couldn’t wait to see what was hiding under those suits. Couldn’t wait to get the man writhing and panting as—

‘Crispy duck?’ 

Both men started, both drawn out of their thoughts of each other, and Robert nodded. An attractive blush painted his cheeks. ‘Yeah, that’s mine, cheers.’

‘And the chow mein for the young gentleman,’ the waiter said, with a smile and a nod at Aaron. Aaron couldn’t help a flirtatious smile spreading across his own lips. 

When the waiter was out of earshot, Robert huffed a laugh. ‘He liked you.’

Aaron’s eyes followed the waiter and he tipped his head in a so-so gesture. ‘He’s alright, I suppose.’ Then he looked back at Robert and smiled at him. He only had eyes for one man tonight, and it definitely wasn’t any of the waiters in this place. Clearly pleased by the attention, Robert sat up a little straighter. 

They dug into their food.

‘So,’ Robert said after swallowing his fifth mouthful. ‘What were those texts about on Thursday then?’

Aaron grinned in spite of himself and the heat that rose in his cheeks. ‘I thought we agreed to drop that?’

‘I made no such agreement!’ He chuckled and picked up a piece of duck between his chopsticks. He chewed and swallowed. Aaron was entranced. ‘You do that often, do you? Text random men with raunchy messages?’

Suddenly the air cooled. Aaron frowned. He remembered another man, another tone of voice asking him teasing questions. ‘No, ‘course I don’t,’ he answered coldly.

Robert looked taken aback by the change in tone. ‘I was only teasing.’

‘Well don’t! What kind of bloke do you take me for? How old do you think I am? I’m 24, not some stupid 16 year old lad who doesn’t know any better!’

Robert looked stunned, and he froze for a moment. ‘…No, ‘course you’re not. I didn’t mean—that wasn’t—’

‘If that’s the way you’re gonna be, I can just leave.’

‘No, Aaron, no.’ He put his chopsticks down and reached across the table. ‘Please, sit down. Finish your dinner.’

Aaron breathed deeply and closed his eyes. He needed to calm down. _Robert didn’t mean anything by it_ , he told himself. _Calm down._ Eventually he felt his heart start to return to its normal pace, once he realised that he was fine, and once he had managed to quell his anger. He shook his head. ‘Sorry.’ He took one last deep breath and returned to himself. Robert was looking at him in concern. ‘I’m fine, don’t worry.’ He shook his head to rid himself of the last vestiges of anger, and then picked up the conversation again. ‘That… what happened on Thursday… I don’t do that—I mean I don’t go out and drink that much. I used to, but—’

‘Now that you’ve reached the ripe old age of 24, you’ve mended your ways?’ Robert said teasingly, though carefully as if testing the waters.

Aaron chuckled. ‘Yeah, something like that.’ He took a gulp of water and felt the atmosphere return to normal. ‘How about you, though? I’m sure you’ve done some stupid things in your time.’

Robert laughed and Aaron was happy to see him at ease again. ‘I’m sure I have, especially when I’ve been drunk. But now—’

‘At the ripe old age of,’ Aaron narrowed his eyes, trying to gauge Robert’s age, ‘I’m sayin’ 30, you’ve mended your ways?’

Robert’s smile dipped slightly before resettling itself. ‘Yeah, something like that.’ He sipped his water. ‘Nah, I don’t drink like I used to, especially not in crowds like I used to.’

Aaron looked up at him from under his lashes. ‘Well, I’m not a crowd,’ he said. ‘We could get a couple of beers and take them back to yours after this?’

Once again, Robert’s smile sunk at the edges. ‘We’ll see.’

Aaron bit his lip and nodded.

****

They finished their meals (Robert paying yet again, this time with some enquiring stares from the waiter, which Robert and Aaron both chose to ignore), and made their way outside. Aaron was practically thrumming with anticipation. Robert unlocked the car. Before he even had a chance to open the door, Aaron had pushed him against the car and kissed him.

It was messy and passionate: not something that they should be doing outside a restaurant, but Aaron didn’t care. Robert’s lips were intoxicating. Robert made a sound in the back of his throat—a shaking, breathy whimper—and Aaron felt himself harden in his trousers.

He was about to cup Robert when he was pushed gently back. 

‘Aaron, stop.’ 

Aaron stopped immediately, but didn’t back off. ‘Come on,’ he sighed against Robert’s lips. ‘Come on, let’s go back to yours, yeah?’

Robert looked at him, then ducked his head so their foreheads touched. ‘Oh god, Aaron.’

‘Yeah, come on.’

‘No.’ He pushed Aaron’s wandering hands away. ‘No, not today.’

Aaron was stunned. ‘What? But we’re—’

‘Just give me a little more time.’

‘Time for _what_?’ Aaron laughed incredulously. ‘It’s the _fourth date_.’

‘I know.’

‘Robert, I _want_ you, and I know you want me, too.’

Robert panted and moved forward as if he was going to kiss Aaron again, then aborted the move at the last second. ‘God, Aaron. Please, just a little more time.’

‘For what?!’ When it was clear that Robert wasn’t going to say anything more, or budge on the subject of taking Aaron back to his, Aaron backed away. ‘I’m… I need to go.’

‘Yeah, okay. I’ll give you a lift back.’

‘No. I’m gonna get the bus.’

‘What? No, come on, Aaron. Please, let me drive you back to the village at least.’

‘What, so we can sit in the car in silence? No way!’ He strode off, but heard Robert’s footsteps behind him. 

‘Aaron, please! Just get in the car, yeah?’

‘No, I don’t want to be humiliated anymore.’

‘I—I never meant to _humiliate_ you, Aaron. It’s just—it’s complicated.’

Aaron spread his arms. ‘Well, I’m all ears.’ Robert opened and closed his mouth a few times but didn’t speak. Aaron laughed and shook his head. ‘Right. See you around, yeah?’

‘No, Aaron.’ Robert pulled Aaron round to face him, and cupped Aaron’s jaw with his large hands. Aaron swallowed and tried to breathe through the thrill that ran through him of having Robert’s hands on him. ‘Please, just give me a little time to explain, yeah? In my own time.’ He shifted closer and Aaron had to raise his head to look into his eyes. ‘I really like you.’

‘So why aren’t we outside your house right now, then?’ he asked. ‘Why are you being so… elusive?’ Robert’s mouth opened, then closed again. ‘Let me go then. I’m gonna miss my bus.’

Robert nodded and backed away. Then he reached into his pocket. ‘At least let me pay for your ticket.’

‘I don’t want anything from you, mate!’

Robert looked crestfallen, but for once an apology wasn’t on Aaron’s lips. He had invested a lot in Robert. He thought he was different, that he wasn’t going to play games.

‘Don’t be like that, Aaron. I hoped that this… whatever we had wasn’t based on sex.’  
Aaron gaped. ‘It isn’t! But you… you can’t say that you like me, be all flirtatious like you’ve been over text, and then just _back off_! What kind of game are you playing?’

‘I’m not playing a game!’ Robert sighed. ‘Look, I’ll text you tomorrow, yeah? Please answer it.’

Aaron could say no. He could move on from Robert, find someone who wasn’t going to play games, who said he wanted him and showed that they wanted him. But he liked Robert. A lot. Against his better judgement, he nodded. ‘Fine.’ He stalked off to the bus stop without looking back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five ahoy! I hope that it's clear enough when the POV changes from Rob to Aaron and back again. Also, introducing Robert's best friend Wendy! 
> 
> (Next chapter--just to keep you guys interested!--some proper AU stuff becomes apparent!

_R: I need to talk to you. Urgently._

_W: Rob, it’s 10pm. Clive and I were getting ready for bed._

_R: Sorry. I just really need to speak to someone. Are you free tomorrow for coffee?_

_W: What, you mean on Sunday? One of the only free days I get with my husband?_

_R: Wend, you know I wouldn’t ask unless it was urgent_

_W: Yeah I know. Fine. Come round to ours, midday. I’ll cook lunch._

****  
_R: Promised I’d text today. You alright?_

_A: Fine ta_

Aaron had contemplated ignoring Robert, but then he remembered the man’s soft voice; the way that he showed he was fond of Aaron. Why did he always do this to himself, he wondered. He thought that Robert was _different_. Here he was worried that things would move too fast into the relationship lane, but instead Robert was keeping them stuck on this roundabout.

_A: Ready to tell me what the fuck is wrong?_

_A: Robert?_

_A: Fine_

****  
‘So what was so urgent that you just _had_ to text my wife last night?’ 

Robert grimaced in apology and stepped into the house when his friend opened the door. ‘Sorry, mate. Did I interrupt something?’

‘It was a Saturday night, what do you think?’ He sighed. ‘You know, if I hadn’t seen you grinning every time you texted this guy, I’d think you and Wendy were having an affair.’

‘How do you know we’re not?’ Wendy emerged from the kitchen, apron around her waist and a tea towel over her shoulder. She kissed Robert’s cheek and grinned at her husband. ‘Seriously, though. Terrible timing!’

‘Sorry.’

She hooked her hand through his elbow. ‘C’mon, help me with the dinner, and you can tell me about it.’

‘Er, why don’t you ever ask for _my_ help with the dinner?’ Clive said, although he was already getting himself comfortable on the sofa in front of the telly.

‘Because Robert does smashing potatoes. Yours always turn out… hard and burnt.’

In the kitchen, she handed Robert a potato peeler and set him to work. Keeping his hands busy let his mind wander: he spoke without even needed to be prompted.

‘You know that guy I told you about a little while ago?’ he said.

‘What, the one from that garage?’ She moved around the kitchen, grabbing a gravy boat and a fork for the beef. ‘Yeah. What’s happened? Is he terrible in bed?’

‘No! We haven’t actually, y’know.’

‘What, you’ve not slept with him yet?’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘That’s different.’

‘Hey!’ But he wasn’t overly offended. Robert had been reckless, jumping from bed to bed once upon a time. Not anymore though. ‘Aaron’s different.’

‘Different, how?’

He shrugged. ‘Dunno. Is this enough?’

She looked over his shoulder. ‘Four more. No, come on, different how?’

‘He just… well, maybe it’s not _him_ as such. Just the way I _feel_ about him is different. Haven’t felt this way about anyone in, well, in ages.’

‘Since your ex?’

He thought about it. ‘Maybe, yeah. Maybe even before that.’

‘Right, so you like him. That’s enough, babe.’

‘Oh, right.’ He washed the peeled potatoes off and grabbed a knife ready to cut them. ‘Yeah, I like him.’

‘And does he like you?’

Robert remembered the feel of Aaron’s mouth on his, his panting breaths on his face, the feel of him hard and wanting against his body. ‘Yeah. Yeah, he likes me too.’

‘So? What’s the problem?’

He put the knife down. ‘He’s 24.’

****  
‘You’ve had a face like a wet weekend all morning,’ Chas said. ‘What’s wrong? Not dumped the boyfriend already, have you?’

‘He wasn’t my boyfriend.’

‘Wasn’t he? You leapt on that phone when it pinged like a tramp on a sandwich,’ his Mum teased. ‘It was nice to see you smiling so much.’

‘Yeah well the guy’s a muppet.’

She leaned on her forearms over the back of the sofa, and smiled down at him as he lay on his back. ‘Yeah? Is that why you haven’t stopped checking your phone all morning, then? You know, you could always text him.’

‘What, and have him ignore me? No thanks.’

‘Has he been ignorin’ you?’ she asked, her voice going high-pitched in indignation on her son’s behalf. 

He rolled his eyes. ‘Once or twice.’

She sighed. ‘Aaron, it’s a _Sunday_. He’s probably having dinner with his family.’ Then she relented when he gave her a look. ‘But you know best, son.’ She walked around and kissed the top of his head. ‘I just want you happy. For once.’

****  
‘Oh Robert.’ Wendy said.

‘Yeah, I know.’

‘And does _he_ know?’

‘What, that he’s 24? Yeah I’m—’

‘No, smartarse! Does he know that you’re—’

‘No. He doesn’t. What if he decides he doesn’t want to know me once I tell him?’

Her eyes softened. ‘Shouldn’t you give him the chance to find out first? You really like him, and if he likes you then, well, it won’t bother him.’

He nodded, but wasn’t convinced. Wendy grabbed his phone. ‘Oi! What are you doing?’

‘Getting you out of your own arse.’ She unlocked his phone (he was changing that as soon as) and started typing. He moved towards her.

‘Wendy! Give me my phone back.’

‘Nope. Now, does this sound like you? “Hi, sorry I didn’t text back. Was having dinner with friends. I’m sorry about last night, can we talk?”’

‘No! Because I don’t want to talk about that!’

‘You’re gonna have to at some point, Rob. You can’t keep it a secret for as long as the two of you are dating.’

‘Then I’ll—Wendy, give me the phone!’

‘What’s going on in here?’ 

Wendy’s eyes brightened. ‘Clive! Tell Robert he’s being an idiot.’

‘You’re being an idiot. What about?’

Wendy explained the situation. ‘Mate, text him! Give him a chance to turn you down, at least!’

‘You don’t get it! If I tell him, he’s bound to back off!’

‘You don’t know that. Now text him!’ Wendy finally handed him the phone back. Robert took it and looked at the last message that Aaron had sent. _A: Fine_. His stomach dropped. In protecting himself, he was hurting Aaron. He frowned and nibbled his lip. ‘Well?’

‘Yeah, okay. Just… give me a minute.’ He paced back and forth in the kitchen ignoring Clive who was trying to steal some off-cuts from the beef, and Wendy who was pretending not to follow him with her eyes. ‘Okay.’ He typed. ‘How does this sound? _Hi sorry I didn’t reply. Was having dinner with some friends. I’m sorry about last night_ ’ He looked to Wendy and Clive.

She spread her hands. ‘What that’s it? You make the guy wait all morning for a reply, and that’s what you say? Sorry about last night?’

‘Well, what should I say then?’

‘Ask him if you can talk!’

‘I don’t want to talk over the phone, though. Not about that.’

‘Then meet up,’ Clive said.

‘But that will constitute another date!’ Robert said. ‘I don’t want to do that, because then, well… he’ll want things to happen again.

‘For god’s sake, how two men even get together with this communication,’ Wendy grumbled. ‘Don’t just leave it as ‘sorry’. Give him something that means he needs to write back. Ask how he is.’

He grimaced, but Wendy gave him a look that clearly challenged him to find his own, better idea. Robert swallowed, added ‘How are you?’ at the end, and read the message over again before hitting ‘send’. No turning back now.

****  
Aaron was having a pint with Adam when his phone pinged. He wanted desperately to ignore him, the way that he had blatantly ignored him today, after Robert was the one to initiate the conversation in the first place. He looked up and caught Adam’s eye.

‘What?’

‘You’re not even gonna look, are you?’ he gestured to the phone. ‘After the face you’ve had on all morning?’ He made to grab for the mobile, but Aaron snatched it before he had the chance. ‘Look at it then, man! Before I do!’

Aaron sighed and opened the message. He had told Adam about last night (leaving out how desperate he had wanted Robert). ‘Says he’s sorry about last night.’

‘Yeah? Well that’s good then, isn’t it?’

‘I guess.’

‘Answer him then!’

‘And say what?’

‘I dunno. That you want to meet? That you want to know what’s going on? That you’re desperate to get in his pants?’

Aaron glared at his friend. He typed back. 

_A: Yeah? Sure seemed like it when you ignored me today_

He threw the phone back on the table. The answer came almost instantly.

_R: I promise I wasn’t ignoring you, Aaron. I meant what I said last night. I really like you. And I do want us to get on._

_A: So let’s meet then_

_R: I don’t know_

_A: You’re playing games again! What do you want, Robert??_

_R: I do want you! I do!_

_A: Got a weird way of showing it, mate_

_R: I just don’t want to rush into anything_

Aaron threw the phone down again, almost shaking with anger.

‘What happened?’ asked Adam, who was watching him the whole time.

‘He’s playing these fucking _games_. I don’t have time for that.

The phone pinged again.

_R: I’m sorry. I want to explain, but I don’t want to do it over text._

_A: Mate, I’m past caring. If you’re not interested, then I don’t wanna know_

_R: I am interested, Aaron! Okay, look, let’s meet up, yeah? Just… let’s not call it a date. Just a chat_

‘He wants to meet,’ Aaron said. ‘To “chat” apparently.’

‘Okay. Tell him yes, then.’

He hesitated.

_A: Fine. So it’s not a date. Whatever. When?_

_R: Thursday? Lunchtime?_

_A: Fine. See you then_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo! I'm nervous about this one! Things should start to make a little more sense at the end of this chapter, about why Robert is being so secretive and distant. 
> 
> Thank you all so so much for the comments and the kudos. It means a lot (to me and Erica both!) that you're enjoying this as much as you are. I almost wish I could have strung this reveal out a little more, if only to hear more of your amazing theories, and your freak outs about what Robert was hiding! :) But here it is. Happy reading!

Robert had composed and deleted five messages to Aaron. Nothing sounded right: they verged on too polite, or too indifferent, or too flirtatious. He had returned from lunch with Wendy and Clive, both of them urging them to text Aaron tonight, neither of them understanding why he was waiting until _Thursday_ to talk to him. But Robert knew why: the longer he held off telling Aaron the truth about his age, the longer he’d have with him, even if just over the phone. 

He shook his head at himself. When did he get this pathetic, this _lonely_ that he’d take the texts of a man he barely knew over the solitude he’d known since he was nineteen? It had never bothered him before, even after the divorce. But now, after only having known Aaron a month (god, was it really _only_ a month?) he couldn’t manage without him. And he knew that as soon as he told him… he’d lose him. Because Robert was a desperate old man, and who wanted that, really?

He shook himself free of those thoughts. He hadn’t let them take hold for years; he wasn’t about to start now. He stuck the kettle on and typed out a message to Aaron. This one, he sent. He poured himself a cup of coffee, put on the television and told himself he wasn’t waiting for a reply.

****  
_R: Hi. How’s your Sunday? Just got back from my mates’_

Aaron tried not to show how much he was itching to grab for his phone. 

‘Is that him again?’ Adam asked. Aaron nodded. ‘Are you gonna answer him?’

He wanted to. God, he wanted to. He picked up his phone.

 _A: Fine. Waiting for dinner with my parents. Having a drink with my mate in the mean time._ He should have been more off hand with him. Should’ve ignored him until he knew what was _really_ going on. But Robert had some kind of hold over him, and Aaron couldn’t release himself. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to. 

_R: The same mate that got you drunk on Thursday you mean ;) There go your promises_

In spite of himself, Aaron smiled. 

_A: I must be a glutton for punishment_

And he was. God, talking to Robert came so _easy_. Even in the midst of everything, and how Aaron was being made to feel, this was _good_.

‘What’s he saying?’ Adam asked.

Aaron shrugged. ‘Nothin’ really. Just talking.’ 

‘Are you sexting him right in front of me, mate?’ Adam said.

Aaron pushed him playfully. ‘No! We’re just talking!’

‘Yeah, right. I know that look.’ 

Aaron looked up at him and paused. His friend looked concerned. ‘What?’ he asked.

‘I dunno, mate. Don’t you think we should find out a bit more about the guy before you, y’know, become really attached to him?’

 _Too late_.

‘Just leave it, Adam, yeah?’ he couldn’t stop the little niggling voice in the back of his head. _‘Find out more about the guy.’_

‘I don’t want to see you get hurt again, Aaron,’ Adam said carefully. He looked down when his own phone pinged. ‘I have to go: Mum’s getting dinner on the table. I’ll see you later, yeah? Text me or something.’

****

_R: Tell me about it ;) So should I be expecting any late night texts then?_

Robert’s thumb automatically hit ‘send’ before he had a chance to think what a stupid thing that was to say. He cursed himself. ‘Stupid fucker,’ he hissed. He remembered the way that Aaron had got so defensive in the restaurant. Had he just messed this up _again_? He was surprised at how good the conversation was going so far. Maybe… maybe when he told Aaron, it wouldn’t be as bad as he feared. Maybe they _could_ work. His phone pinged.

_A: You wish ;) Afraid you’ll have to do without tonight_

He grinned. Yeah, this could actually work.

****

As happened most Sundays, Paddy and Leo came to the pub for their lunch. Aaron stopped by the door to the backroom at the sound of hushed conversation in the living room, which conspicuously stopped when he entered the room. He rolled his eyes.

‘Y’know, if you want to talk about me, you could make it a little less obvious,’ he said. He took the plates that his Mum handed him and set them on the table. ‘Or actually talk to _me_ instead of each other.’

‘Pehhh!’ Paddy laughed. ‘Talk to _you_?’ He dug Aaron in the ribs, making his pseudo-son grin. ‘Yeah, ‘cause that mouth doesn’t have a padlock and password, does it!’

Chas cleared her throat and smiled. ‘We were just talking about your… uh, fella.’

‘He’s _not_ my fella,’ Aaron said. ‘Besides, it’s sorted. Can we just have dinner now, please?’

Chas nodded, for once not putting up a fight, and that should have alerted Aaron right away. But his guard was down, and being around Leo had made him soft and happy. He alternated teasing his godson by pretending to steal bits of potato off his plate, and turning up his nose when Paddy tried to make him eat his broccoli. ‘He doesn’t need you to encourage him!’ Paddy said, smacking him gently across the ear when he caught Aaron making a face behind his back. ‘He’s already had enough of your influence, thank you!’ but he was grinning, and Aaron knew that he didn’t mean anything by it.

After dessert—and the subject of his ‘fella’ was thankfully dropped—Chas cleared away. Then she took Leo to see Marlon, and suspiciously disappeared.

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘Three guesses why she disappeared so quickly,’ he said drily.

Paddy smiled. ‘And the first two don’t count.’ He stood up and gestured to the sofa. Aaron huffed but did as Paddy wanted, and sat on the sofa. Paddy shuffled up next to him, then shuffled some more.

Silence.

‘Look, should I call my Mum back or are you actually gonna talk to me?’

‘Right. Yeah. Sorry. Um.’ He took his glasses off for a second, before replacing them and looking at Aaron seriously. ‘Your Mum’s worried.’

‘When is she never?’

‘Well, worried is probably the wrong word. She’s, uh, concerned, I suppose. Said you’d been texting a guy, and she couldn’t get two words out of you about it.’

‘I could give you two words right now,’ Aaron said mildly. He knew that Paddy and his Mum worried about him. He wished that they wouldn’t, but knew that they always would. He sighed. ‘Paddy, there’s nothing to really talk about. We went on a few dates, and…’

‘…And? What?’

Aaron looked at his father figure and sighed. If there really was anyone that he wanted or needed to talk to about this, it was Paddy. He understood him on a level no one else did, even Adam. And he felt safe talking to Paddy. 

‘Aaron?’ he said softly. ‘You know you can talk to me. Whatever it is. But it _is_ about him, isn’t it? This bloke you’ve been seeing.’ Aaron nodded. ‘Talk to me. Has he… he hasn’t… _hurt_ you, has he?’

‘No! ‘Course he hasn’t!’ Perhaps it was better to tell him what was really on his mind, before Paddy got the wrong idea entirely, and wrote his own novel about what was going on. He clasped his hands together, rested his forearms on his legs. He shifted. He hated talking about this kind of thing: his feelings, the guys he fancied. Any of that. He had got better since Tom, but that was almost a year ago now. He hadn’t had to do this for a long time. ‘Right. Before you start to think the worst, this isn’t… _that_ kind of situation. It’s not even a _Tom_ situation.’

‘Okay.’ Paddy’s shoulders visibly relaxed. ‘But it’s something to make your mood change as quickly as it did? This is all according to your Mum, by the way,’ he hastened to add when Aaron turned a weak glare on him.

‘It’s just… okay. Right, yeah I was dating a guy. And things were going well. But then he just started… I dunno, being distant.’

‘Being distant?’ Paddy repeated. ‘How d’you mean?’

‘Just… like, started to be elusive and stuff. We were,’ he cleared his throat. He struggled talking about his sexual relationships with _Adam_ , let alone Paddy. ‘We were on our fourth date, and I wanted to… go back to his. But he just kept pulling away, and… yeah.’ He shook his head. ‘I dunno. I mean, it seems fine now, everything’s kind of normal again. We texted just before dinner.’

He chanced a glance at Paddy. His cheeks were red with embarrassment. At least he wasn’t alone in his awkwardness of talking about this. ‘Right. So you two haven’t, uh… em… yet then, have you?’ Aaron shook his head. ‘Okay. So, maybe he’s just shy?’

He thought back to the kiss, and how amazing it was. Even the first kiss, Robert was the one to initiate it, and it was really, _really_ good. He swallowed. ‘No. No, he’s not shy.’

‘You sure? Maybe you’re his first.’

‘No, I’m not. He said he’s had relationships with men before.’

Paddy chuckled a little. ‘I should hope so. If he’s going out with you, chances are he’s gay!’

‘He’s bi,’ Aaron said. ‘And he was married to a woman before.’

‘He’s _married_?’

Aaron frowned. ‘Calm down! They’re divorced now!’

‘Married and divorced?! Aaron, how _old_ is he?’

’30-ish I think.’ He shrugged. ‘What does that matter? My Mum had me when she was, like, 14! Age doesn’t mean a thing.’

Paddy relented. ‘Fine. So he’s been married. But he’s had boyfriends before. And he seemed… keen on you. But then he became distant.’ He looked at Aaron, as if gauging how he was. 

He shook his head. ‘I dunno. I mean, it seems fine now, everything’s kind of normal again. We texted just before dinner.’ 

‘Aaron, I’ve got a bit of a bad feeling about it. Did anything happen, do you think, between your dates? Like, I don’t know, did he meet anyone else? Is he stringing you along? Is that why he’s running a bit… hot and cold?’

Aaron closed his eyes. He was so afraid that someone would say that; would present that as the only option. ‘Do you really think that’s what it is?’ he whispered. Tears came to his eyes.

Paddy put a comforting hand on his shoulder. ‘It’s probably not, mate. But maybe it’s something you need to consider.’ He shrugged. ‘Or maybe it’s something like, I don’t know, maybe he’s in touch with his ex-wife? Maybe he’s still hung up on her.’

He shook his head. ‘No, you didn’t hear the way he talked about her. It didn’t sound like there was any great loss there when they divorced.’

‘Yeah, but… how much do you _really_ know about this bloke? He could have got back in touch with her, could be trying to rekindle something.’

He didn’t want to even _think_ about it. He blinked rapidly and cast his eyes to the ceiling. He wasn’t going to cry. Not over someone he barely knew. But— ‘I really like him, Paddy.’

‘Oh, mate. C’mere.’ Paddy hugged him, and Aaron melted into his comforting embrace. 

****

Aaron had texted ahead to Adam, telling him that he’d meet him at Butler’s Farm. For what he was going to do, he figured he didn’t want his Mum snooping around, which she was wont to do especially when she was concerned about him.

‘You know how you said about finding out more about Robert?’ he said. He nodded at Adam’s laptop. ‘Is Facebook snooping going too far?’

‘What, so you think he is hiding something then?’ Adam asked.

Aaron shrugged. ‘I dunno. Just something Paddy said, about him being hung up on his ex, or seeing someone else. I’d rather _know_ so that I know what to do.’

‘Okay.’ Without another word, Adam started his computer and loaded Facebook. ‘Are you sure,’ he asked, when the cursor was blinking in the search box. ‘’Cause once we do this, there’s no going back, mate.’

‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. I want to know.’ The terrifying thing was that he didn’t know if knowing Robert _was_ stringing him along was enough to stop him. Something about having an affair was exciting, it appealed to that part of himself that was reckless; the part that should have faded away years ago, but had been brought back to the surface after Tom.

Adam typed Robert’s name and searched. 

‘There,’ Aaron said. He felt like he didn’t want to say too much: if he said too much it highlighted how sordid and creepy he actually felt doing this. He made a soft sound of surprise. ‘He’s Vic’s sister. Never heard her talk about him.’ 

‘Maybe they don’t get on,’ Adam said. ‘Maybe she doesn’t know about him.’

Aaron nodded. He hadn’t spoken to Vic in ages, not since she moved to Spain a few years ago with Diane. 

‘What am I looking for exactly?’ Adam asked, when the page had loaded.

Aaron was entranced for a moment by the smiling face of the man in the photo. God, he fancied Robert. It was his eyes, his pale skin, his pink lips.

‘Aaron? Focus!’

‘Yeah. Sorry. Um, I dunno. Just scroll through his wall or something. Just anything that seems a little…off.’

Adam scrolled. Their breaths were the only sound for a while. ‘What, like this, you mean?’ he stopped and highlighted a post.

_‘The big one next month, mate! I’ll be back in town for it! Not every day you hit the big 4-0!_

Aaron gaped. Adam gaped.

‘He’s _how old_ ??’


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm so sorry about the wait for this chapter. Hope you all enjoy :)

‘40’s not… _that_ bad, right?’ Aaron said tentatively and sceptically.

‘Mate, he’s older than your _Mum_!’

Christ, he was. Robert was nearly 40; Chas had just celebrated her 38th at the end of February. But that shouldn’t be a problem. Should it?

‘That must be why he’s been distant,’ Adam was saying. He scrolled through his wall some more, but shook his head when there was nothing else incriminating. ‘So, what, he knew how old you were, and backed off?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Yeah. Sounds like it. Wish he woulda just _told_ me.’

‘Mmm. He must’ve thought you’d back off if you knew he was an old geezer.’

‘He’s not an old geezer!’

‘Mate, he’s nearly 40! Next month, in fact!’ He closed the laptop lid down. ‘And if he thought this is how you’d react, why’d he keep in touch with you? Why not just end it?’

‘Because he said he really liked me.’ He narrowed his eyes at Adam. ‘You were singin’ a different tune when you were havin’ an affair with, whatshername, Ella.’

‘That’s different,’ Adam said. ‘I _knew_ how old she was. And plus, that was never anything but a bit of fun. Sounds like you really like Robert as well, so do you really wanna start something where he’s lyin’ about somethin’ as simple as his age?’ He scrutinised his friend closely. ‘After everything you went through with Tom, man, you know things he hid; the way he was… I just don’t want you to go through that again. He really messed you up.’

‘I know he did. You don’t need to remind me!’ Aaron breathed through his rising anger. ‘Robert’s different.’

He could see how Adam started to become a bit more wary of Aaron’s temper: he hated how something he couldn’t control could push away the people he loved. He breathed and counted to ten. ‘Aaron, I know that you’re gonna do whatever you want at the end of the day, mate. But just… look out for yourself, yeah?’

When Aaron didn’t say anything, Adam nudged him. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. Yeah, I will, ‘course I will.’ Except his friend clearly knew him too well, because Adam raised his eyebrows. ‘I will. I’ve learned my lesson where… secrets are concerned.’

‘Secrets and lies, Aaron. You know that if it was just the age thing, I wouldn’t mind, but it’s the fact that he kept it from you.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ He ducked his head. ‘I’ll steer clear.’ _At least for a while._

****

_R: Don’t forget about Thursday. I’ll text you tomorrow._

Aaron hadn’t replied, but then, Robert didn’t expect him to. It was late Sunday night, and the man was most likely asleep or out with his mates. It didn’t stop him from checking his phone every so often though, until he finally fell asleep at midnight, the phone silent on his bedside cabinet.

****

True to his word to Adam, Aaron had steered clear of Robert for 24 hours. He had got the text sent to him on Sunday, and another on Monday morning, asking how he was and wishing him a good day. Aaron swallowed against the guilt in his throat, but Adam’s sentiments were on repeat in his head: Robert hadn’t lied to him per se, but he had made it difficult to know why he was keeping his distance. It wasn’t about the age: it was about the fact he had kept it from him, as if controlling part of (what could be) a relationship. And it was that idea of Robert having _control_ that didn’t sit well with Aaron.

So he ignored the texts. He ignored every time his phone pinged, every time his uncle gave him a look as if to ask why he wasn’t answering it, every time his heart sank a little lower when he glanced at Robert’s texts asking if he was okay, asking how his day was going, hoping he had a good Sunday.

He remained silent.

****

‘Uh-oh, face like a smacked rear is back!’

Robert looked up and frowned at his friend. ‘Leave it, Clive. I’m not in the mood.’

Clive’s brows raised to his hairline. ‘Okay. I doubt it’s family related, so… Aaron?’

‘He’s not answering my texts,’ Robert confided almost immediately. 

‘Mate, it’s 2 o’clock on a Monday afternoon. He’s probably working.’

He shook his head. ‘That normally never stops him, whether he’s working or not. He’s either ignoring me, or he’s hurt.’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘I dunno which is worse.’

‘Well him being hurt is worse than him ignoring you, surely.’

Robert’s brow furrowed. ‘You know, you’re not as good as Wendy at this.’

‘Why, what would she have said?’

‘I don’t know, do I? If I knew, I wouldn’t have to tell _you_ about it.’

Clive chuckled. ‘Oh, cheers.’ He sat on Robert’s desk and nudged his shin with his boot. ‘He’s not ignoring you,’ he said. ‘He’s probably busy. His boss probably has him working his fingers to the bone.’ He nodded at Robert’s phone, which was open to the messages. He could see a series of texts that Robert had sent with no reply. ‘Lay off on the messages, eh? He’s gonna think you’re some kinda crazed stalker.’ He grinned when his friend smiled. ‘Wait until later this afternoon, or this evening. Text him again, casual-like. See what happens. Was that more like Wendy?’

‘Yeah, a little. Thanks, mate.’

6 o’clock couldn’t come quick enough for Robert. He hadn’t heard from Aaron, and it was a struggle not to let his heart plummet a little more with each passing hour. _‘Getting soft in your old age,’_ he told himself. He sat in his car and typed out message after message, but then settled on, quite simply:

_R: Hi. How was your day?_

He threw the phone on the passenger seat and started the car. At least concentrating on the road would be a distraction from the lack of replies.

****

‘How many is that today?’ Adam asked as the phone vibrated on the café table.

‘How many what?’

‘Messages. Cain told me that your phone was going non-stop this morning.’

Aaron rolled his eyes. He couldn’t trust his uncle to keep a secret from his step-son it seemed. ‘It’s no big deal.’

‘Hm. So, you’ve decided to keep your distance then?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Looks like it. Didn’t have much of a choice after that lecture you gave me.’

‘Don’t be like that, mate! You’d’ve said the same if it was the other way ‘round.’ He stabbed a piece of the cake he had ordered and stuffed it in his mouth, talking around it. ‘B’sides, I only said _take care_.’ 

‘Yeah, you and everyone else,’ Aaron groused. ‘I’m tired of takin’ orders; feels like I’m a teenager, not a grown man.’

‘We’re lookin’ out for you.’ He pushed the plate towards Aaron, who took a forkful of the coffee cake as well. ‘Anyway, like I said, at the end of the day you’re gonna do what you want, aren’t you? Regardless of what we say.’ He smiled and Aaron’s brows raised in something like agreement.

‘I just… I don’t want my life to be _controlled_ like that, you know?’

‘I know, mate.’ 

****

Aaron arrived home to something of an intervention. He glared at Paddy, who he held solely responsible for the worried look in his Mum’s eyes. 

‘Y’alright, sweetheart?’ Chas said sweetly, as if he was a child. 

‘Fine. ‘M goin’ to my room.’

‘Aaron, wait.’

He sighed in exasperation and turned around. They were sitting to the table, each of them wearing the same worried expression and it turned Aaron’s stomach. ‘What?’

Chas cleared her throat. ‘Paddy told me about the guy you’ve been seeing.’ She took a breath. ‘I don’t know if you should… carry on with it.’

‘What?’

‘I— _we_ don’t want you getting hurt, son,’ she said. ‘I just think it’s… _better_ if you don’t see him.’

‘Why? Because of some half-baked idea that Paddy planted in your head? He’s _not seeing anyone else!_ ’

‘Aaron, don’t—don’t get worked up.’ That was Paddy, edging towards him like Aaron was an untamed beast. He backed up a bit.

‘I’m not gettin’ worked up, I just don’t know why you’re both stickin’ your oar into my business!’

Chas got to her feet. ‘Because after _last time_ I want to be sure no one hurts you again!’

‘Robert isn’t like Tom!’

‘Oh, so I finally get a name, then!’ Chas said. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, and Aaron knew this was hurting her, but that didn’t mean she could control who he saw. ‘This is what I mean, love, you’re being so secretive, and I don’t want you to shut me out!’

‘Then just leave me to it, Mum! I know what I’m doing!’

His phone vibrated in his hand and, on reflex, he looked at it. It wasn’t Robert this time, but that didn’t stop Chas from immediately pouncing on it. ‘Is that him?’

Aaron glared at her. 

‘I said, _is that him_?’

‘Chas, calm down,’ Paddy said. 

‘No! Aaron, I’m just lookin’ out for you!’

‘No you’re not! You’re tryin’ to _control_ me!’

‘Aaron, she isn’t; you know she isn’t!’

He backed up even more, his breathing harsh and shallow. ‘You both are! I don’t need this!’ He turned and bolted upstairs to his room, slamming the door behind him. He heard his Mum crying, and Paddy’s low, gentle crooning, but he couldn’t stand thinking about it.

He sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, and tried to breathe. His phone was beside him, and he picked it up. He knew one way he could gain back control right now.

The phone rang three times. Aaron’s heart pounded. Not the wisest thing to do, not when he was like this. Should he hang up? Maybe text instead?

‘Aaron?’ Too late.

‘Hey, Robert… yeah, it’s me.’

****

Robert’s heart leapt into his throat, but he tried to remain calm. He put down the wooden spoon he was using to stir the pasta and sat at his kitchen table.

‘Hi. How are you?’ There was silence on the other side. Robert could hear Aaron’s breathing, the only indicator that Aaron hadn’t hung up. ‘Aaron?’ he said tentatively.

‘Yeah. I’m, uh—’ Robert held his breath. ‘This wasn’t a good idea.’

He leapt up as if Aaron was in the room with him. ‘No! Aaron, wait, wait!’ Silence, but not the dial tone, answered him. ‘Look, I um, I’m sorry about how things went the other day. I just—’

‘No, it’s… I, uh…’

‘Aaron?’

‘Can I come see you?’ The silence that followed was almost startled, as if it too couldn’t believe what Aaron had just said.

‘That’s not a great idea, Aaron.’

An exasperated sigh. ‘Robert, I _know_ , okay? The reason why you… kept your distance? I _know_. This is… I just need to get away from here for a bit.’

Robert ran his hand through his hair. Aaron said he _knew_. But maybe he was bluffing; maybe it was just a ruse. _‘Yeah, because having a young man desperate to get in your bed is so_ terrible.’ It was flattering, of course it was. But Aaron was upset. He couldn’t take advantage of him.

‘You’re upset, Aaron,’ he said quietly. ‘If you come here… we both know what’s gonna happen.’

‘And is that so bad?’ he was aiming for flirty, but falling somewhere between nervous and self-conscious instead.

Robert smiled just a little. ‘Just talk to me, yeah? Now, over the phone. Doesn’t have to be about what’s bothering you; just talk to me.’ 

He heard Aaron shift, and material rustling. Underneath it all was the soft sound of bedsprings. Robert bit his lip harshly. ‘Fine,’ Aaron said, drawing him back. ‘So… first thing’s first: what do you want for your 40th?’


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much for the kudos and the comments! It really means so much to know you're all enjoying it :)
> 
> Robert and Aaron finally meet up in this chapter!

Robert froze. ‘My, uh—m-my 40th?’

‘Yeah. 40th birthday?’

‘It’s not—’

‘Robert, can we not do the “it’s not, it is, it’s not” thing?’ Aaron said. He sounded amused. At least this conversation was managing to calm him down, even though it was causing Robert himself undue stress. ‘I _know_ about your age. Is that why you avoided me?’

He sighed heavily. No sense in hiding anything now. ‘Yeah. Yeah, that’s why. But I only—Aaron, I don’t _do_ this,’ he said, gesturing over the phone even though Aaron couldn’t see him. ‘I don’t… go around looking for men 16 years younger than me. That—that isn’t… y’know?’

He could hear the smile in Aaron’s voice. ‘I know. Calm down. I didn’t think you were.’ A pause. ‘Although now it’s sounding _very_ suspicious.’

‘Aaron—’

‘I’m joking, Robert. Besides, it’s not like I’m a minor or anything.’ 

Robert hummed, and scrubbed his hand across his red face. At least Aaron knew now, but the question was, ‘How’d you even find out?’

‘Hm? Well, how does anyone find out anything these days?’

‘Private investigator?’

They both chuckled. ‘Showing your age,’ Aaron said. ‘No, I uh—I found you on FaceBook.’

‘You _FaceBooked_ me?’ Robert said incredulously. ‘Why?’

‘Well because you were acting weird, and my… Paddy put the idea in my head that you were stringin’ me along.’ He cleared his throat and he sounded abashed. ‘’M not proud of that, just so you know,’ he said. ‘But you _were_ behavin’ oddly.’

‘Well I guess it’s not really an invasion,’ Robert said idly. ‘It’s out there for everyone to see. I’m sorry I made you think that.’

Aaron grunted, and Robert took it as acceptance of his apology. ‘So,’ Aaron said. ‘What happens now?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, when can we see each other again?’ Robert paused long enough that Aaron had to say his name a couple of times.

‘Sorry. Um… I don’t know. Are you _sure_ you’re okay with this?’ he asked. 

‘Will you please just…’ he huffed. ‘40 really isn’t that old, you know. I wanna see you.’

‘But what about your parents?’

‘Well, I’d hoped it would just be the two of us.’

‘Haha,’ Robert said drily. ‘I mean, what do they think about me being older than you?’

‘Nothing,’ he said. 

‘Nothing?’

‘Well, mostly because they don’t actually know.’

‘You haven’t _told_ them?!’

‘I’m an adult!’ Aaron said, his voice rising in anger. ‘I don’t need their permission!’

‘Alright, alright. I just don’t want you to get into something that your parents don’t want you to.’

‘Get into something?’ Aaron said flirtatiously. ‘So, something _is_ gonna happen then?’

‘Aaron…’ but Robert couldn’t help the slight grin.

‘Tomorrow, maybe?’ Aaron asked hopefully, yet tentatively. ‘After work?’

‘You’re persistent, aren’t you?’

‘When it’s something I want, yeah.’

‘Like a dog with a bone.’

Aaron laughed. ‘Yeah, if you like.’ His voice sobered. ‘I just want to get out of the village for a while,’ he said. ‘And I really would like to see you again. So?’

Robert rolled his eyes to the heavens, as if begging for strength; a salvation from temptation. ‘Okay. Tomorrow.’

‘Great,’ Aaron breathed. Robert’s throat became dry at the sound. ‘I’ll be in Hotten anyway for a job. We could meet somewhere?’

‘I know a nice place,’ Robert said. ‘I’ll text you details.’

‘Okay. Tomorrow then.’

‘Tomorrow.’

****

A morning breezed licked Aaron’s skin. For once, he had woken before his alarm. He rolled onto his back, his mind trying to grasp onto the dream he had had last night. It was being chased away by the sunlight filtering through his curtains, but Aaron remembered Robert vividly enough. 

His cock was already hard. It wasn’t such a step to move his hand under the covers until he was gripping himself loosely.

Aaron liked Robert. A lot, actually. It was easier to admit that when he was alone in his room. And he wanted him. That feeling didn’t go away when he found out his real age. If anything, it seemed to heighten his desire for him. The thought of an older man like Robert, an older _experienced_ man, knowing his way around another man’s body. A man who desired Aaron. God, he could remember the way Robert felt pressed against his body, the way that his lips felt against his own, the way his eyes fluttered, and his mouth opened on a gasp when their lips connected.

Flashes of his dream came back to him and Aaron bit his lip, trying to keep his gasp in. He moved restlessly under the covers, his hand gripping himself tighter on each upstroke. He thought about Robert’s hands, his fingers, his lips. God, the things he could show Aaron; the things he must _know_. He kicked the covers off, imagining Robert over him instead, imagining his hand on his cock, moving so knowingly, knowing Aaron’s body like no one else ever had. His back arched, his free hand clenched the pillow behind his head, he bit his lip on a moan, and he came.

****

It clearly didn’t escape anyone’s notice that Aaron was in a much better mood that day. Cain kept giving him uncertain looks, as if unsure who the upbeat young man was who came to work for him that day in place of his usually sour nephew. At lunch time (Aaron was counting down the hours over the entire day), he met Adam and they went to the cricket pavilion for a change. Mostly, Aaron wanted to avoid any awkward conversations with either his Mum or Paddy (he had left very early for work that morning and just walked around the village for a bit to avoid her at breakfast), and this was the best way to do it. 

They shared lunch, Adam bringing a few sandwiches from home, and Aaron providing a flask of tea from the garage.

‘You decided to keep seeing him then?’ Adam said.

Aaron looked at him askance and took a sip of tea to take down the sandwich he had stuffed in his mouth. ‘You what?’ he said when he’d swallowed.

‘Robert. You decided to carry on with him.’

He shrugged. ‘Yeah. Thought about what you said,’ (he hadn’t, he’d acted on impulse after getting into an argument with his Mum and Paddy) ‘and just thought… life’s too short, you know?’

Adam nodded. ‘Hope you know what you’re doin’, mate.’ He put his hands up in placation. ‘I’m not givin’ you a lecture. I’m just sayin’.’

Aaron huffed. ‘Right. Well how about that’s the last thing you say on the matter, yeah?’

‘Alright.’ They sat in silence for a while. ‘So when are you seein’ him?’

‘Adam!’

‘No, I’m askin’ now ‘cause I’m nosy! Come on, man, I’m living vicariously through you!’

That made Aaron laugh. ‘Today,’ he said. It actually did feel good to get excited about it with someone. ‘After work. I’m goin’ into Hotten and he’s meetin’ me somewhere.’

‘Doesn’t he usually pick you up, your sugardaddy?’

Aaron was caught between scowling and laughing. ‘I told you never to call ‘im that!’ Then he shook his head. ‘Nah, I’d rather him not be here when Mum and Paddy are keepin’ an eye out all the time.’

‘So, they don’t know you’re goin’ out?’

‘Yeah, I’ll tell ‘em when I’m in Hotten. I’d just rather avoid all the aggro.’

Adam nodded. ‘Fine. I mean, I can’t stop you, can I?’

‘No, you can’t.’ He looked around and, even though there was just the two of them, still lowered his voice. ‘Fifth date, and he doesn’t have to hide anything from me now. Tonight may be it, you know.’

Adam grinned and smacked him on the back. ‘Ace, lad! I _knew_ you were desperate to get in his pants!’ He dodged the punch that Aaron aimed at his arm.

****

Robert couldn’t stop fidgeting. It was getting to the point that he had been called into the manager’s office to ask if something was wrong. Drug-related was what was implied, and Robert had shot _that_ down right away. His other colleagues had worked it out though, and a mini-rumour was going around about him going on a date. When Robert aimed a glare at Clive, though, his friend shook his head. Clive didn’t seem the sort to gossip anyway. It really was just harmless office gossip.

He was nervous. There was no two ways about it. Now that Aaron knew, an irrational part of him thought that the younger man would be constantly looking out for things that would show his age; looking for wrinkles, or joints popping or sagging skin. Anything that would make Aaron turn up his nose in disgust and leave him. He was also just nervous about if Aaron would treat him any differently. Irrational thoughts sparked off even more irrational thoughts so that by the time the end of the work day rolled around, Robert was half-tempted to cancel their date. Could he call it a date? _Should_ he call it a date? All of these thoughts chased themselves around and around in his head.

When his phone vibrated next to him, he jumped. 

_A: Okay, I’ve not received a text yet. Please don’t cancel._

Robert couldn’t help a soft smile. Seemed that he wasn’t the only nervous one, though Aaron was nervous for different reasons. It was so flattering, that this young, _gorgeous_ man wanted him this much, despite their age difference. 

_R: Sorry. Been busy today._ Then, on impulse, he wrote: _Fancy going to that cocktail place again?_ and hit send before he could think too hard about it.

It was a bit risky: he didn’t want Aaron to think he was trying to get him drunk to take advantage. He didn’t want to push things too far too soon. The reply came quickly though.

_A: Perfect. See you there._

Robert breathed a sigh of relief. 

****

Aaron was waiting outside the bar when Robert arrived. Robert could sense the younger man’s nervous tension, but when he turned and saw Robert, something else took over. Something like excitement. He smiled nervously. 

‘Hi,’ Aaron greeted. He ducked his head, and peered up under his eyelashes. Shy yet flirtatious. God, Robert fancied him something chronic. ‘Alright?’

‘Yeah. You?’

Aaron nodded. 

Quite by accident, they started to sway in sync, until Robert realised and grinned self-consciously. This wasn’t their first date, and he wasn’t a teenager: why did he feel so nervous. ‘Shall we?’

They sat at the table which had become their usual. Aaron didn’t take his eyes off Robert once. As soon as they had got their drinks, he leaned forward. ‘It’s really good to see you,’ he said.

Robert smiled. ‘Yeah. You too.’ This wasn’t at all what he had imagined. He had thought that Aaron would have demanded some explanation for Robert’s irrational behaviour: why hadn’t he just told Aaron why he was distancing himself? What was the point in dragging things on if he thought Aaron would just leave him anyway? Robert had prepared some semblance of answer, but now, looking at Aaron’s longing eyes, his pink lips, his flushed cheeks, every coherent thought fled his mind.

‘Are you sure you’re okay with this? With me, I mean?’ Robert said.

Aaron shook his head, though his smile didn’t falter. ‘You know how to ruin a mood, don’t you? Robert, your age… I don’t care. I really don’t. I like you.’

Robert nodded. ‘I just don’t want this to be weird for you. Dating an older man, worrying about what people will say—’

‘Let them say what they want,’ Aaron shrugged. ‘We’re okay, aren’t we?’

‘Yeah,’ he said uncertainly. When Aaron narrowed his eyes, he hastened to add, ‘No. We are, we are. I just…’ he huffed a self-deprecating laugh. ‘Paranoid I guess.’ He grinned when Aaron opened his mouth, but then bit his bottom lip. ‘What?’

‘No, nothin’. Was just gonna say somethin’, that’s all.’ But the smile was still playing around Aaron’s mouth. He raised his drink to his lips and took a sip.

‘No, go on. If we’re doing the whole _honesty_ thing.’

Aaron cleared his throat. ‘Was just wonderin’ if paranoia came with age?’

Robert couldn’t help a thrill of unease shoot through his stomach, but then he caught Aaron’s playful smirk. ‘Hm. You’ve got jokes, have you?’

‘I’ve got loads!’ Aaron laughed and Robert felt giddy. His laugh was _wonderful_. He was in way too deep, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

They talked idly for a while, about their day, about their weekend, about their friends. Then Aaron checked his phone for the time. 

‘I’d better go,’ he said. ‘Last bus leaves in half an hour.’ But then he looked at Robert. ‘Unless… you have a better idea.’

‘Aaron…’

‘Please don’t send me away again. I’ll even sleep on the sofa if you want. I just—I need some time away from the village.’

Robert nodded. He knew what it felt like, to have someone watching your every move, waiting for you to put a step wrong. ‘We’ll have to walk,’ he said. ‘I’m in no state to drive.’

The smile that Aaron gave him would have made the sun envious.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut! :)

They walked back in relative silence. The air between them crackled and sang with sexual tension. The backs of their hands and wrists brushed occasionally, and Aaron had to bite his lip on a smile. It was the first night excitement that he felt, but it was more than the one-night stand excitement. This feeling was like the first time he knew he was going to sleep with Ed. Jackson, his first boyfriend, well that had been mostly nerves. With Tom, they were both too drunk to appreciate the first time. That should have told him a lot about how their relationship would go.

But even this, just walking back to Robert’s, without even the guarantee of something _more_ happening… it felt more momentous than the first time with Jackson; even more exciting than the first time with Ed. He couldn’t explain it.

They were walking down the nicer part of Hotten, places where there were houses with gardens, driveway parking, and kids felt safe enough to leave their tricycles in the road without them being stolen. Aaron looked around and let out a low whistle when they stopped outside a very decent looking house. ‘Wow,’ he whispered. ‘You live _here_?’

‘Yeah.’ Robert held the gate open for Aaron, then shut it behind him. There wasn’t much of a front space to talk about, but there was a garage and a short driveway. The front of the house was modern, clean, quite big. ‘I bought it a while ago.’

‘You _bought_ it?’ Aaron said incredulously.

‘Yeah, when prices weren’t that high.’

He unlocked the door and walked in first. There were a few letters on the floor, which Robert picked up and gave a cursory look over before putting them on a side table. ‘Come in,’ he said, gesturing inside. ‘Living room, kitchen’s through there—actually it’s a kitchen and dining room—and everything else is upstairs.’

Aaron looked around the living room. He ran his hand across the back of the sofa, feeling the soft material under his palm. It was minimalistic in here. No pictures on shelves, just a painting above the mantelpiece, a television screen, and a few bookcases. He turned his attention back to Robert and watched appreciatively as the man took off his jacket and hung it on a hook on the wall. 

‘D’you want anything to drink?’ Robert asked. ‘Tea? Coffee? Anything?’

Aaron bit his lip and shook his head. He walked over to Robert and stood right in front of him. He had to tilt his head to look into Robert’s eyes. He saw Robert’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. ‘What are we doing here, Aaron?’ he whispered.

‘I know what I’d _like_ to be doing.’ He raised a little on his tiptoes and brushed his lips across Robert’s. Not a kiss, but just a fluttering of meeting lips. His hands grabbed at the shirt and bunched at Robert’s waist.

There was a low sound: a sigh, a moan, from Robert’s throat. ‘Aaron,’ he said. ‘Are you sure? Because I don’t want this to be an escape from whatever you’re running from in the village.’

‘I do want to escape,’ Aaron admitted. ‘But that, and _this_ … they’re not mutually exclusive: I would have wanted this… _you_ no matter what was going on in the village.’ Their eyes were hooked, like a chain. Aaron felt himself harden at the proximity of Robert: he could feel the heat from the man’s body, smell the faint tang of sweat on his skin, feel the shallow breathing against his face. ‘What do _you_ want?’ he asked.

Robert swallowed again. ‘You,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I want you.’

And that was all Aaron needed. He pushed himself forward and kissed Robert for all he was worth. Robert’s lips were as incredible as he remembered. He opened his mouth, inviting Robert’s tongue in. When their tongues did meet, he felt his legs shake. He gripped onto Robert’s shoulders, and felt the man’s arms wind around his waist, felt him bend, and then _hoist_ and suddenly Aaron’s legs were around Robert, and he was being carried to the sofa. He moaned low in his throat as he felt the strength in the muscles in Robert’s shoulders and back. They didn’t stop kissing.

Robert sat first, letting Aaron straddle his lap. He pulled away and cupped Aaron’s jaw, stroking his stubble, looking into his eyes. Aaron shivered with need, but he sensed a change in Robert’s demeanour, and let him take control. He closed his eyes as Robert moved forward, kissing his cheek, then his jaw, across to his ear, and then to his throat. Aaron shifted, his cock pressing uncomfortably against his jeans, and he moaned when he felt Robert’s own erection. He moved even closer, one hand shifting to clench around the back of Robert’s head, holding him close to his throat; the other hand moved restlessly between Robert’s shoulder, his back, and the back of the sofa. He gasped when he felt teeth, then tongue, then lips against his neck and he grinned to himself. No one had ever made him feel like this. ‘Fuck, Robert.’ He panted into the man’s ear, and his hips moved of their own accord, jerking back and forth on Robert’s lap.

Robert held him up and shifted beneath him, smirking at the whine in Aaron’s throat when the delicious friction stopped. But he moved so that when Aaron sat again, he was sitting on Robert’s thick thigh. Aaron’s mouth fell open on a gasp. His hips moved quicker and quicker, humping Robert’s thigh. Both hands gripped onto the back of the sofa, holding on. Robert leaned back and watched the changing play of pleasure on Aaron’s face, panting and moaning himself. Aaron’s ego spiked at the thought that Robert was getting pleasure out of watching him. 

‘I’m gonna come,’ he breathed. He didn’t want to come like this, but he also couldn’t stop. Robert grabbed him by the hips and urged his movements: quicker, more powerful. He grinded his thigh upwards, making Aaron’s eyes roll. ‘Ro—Robert! Fuck yesyesyes!’ His mouth fell open and he came on a drawn-out moan. His movements continued, his hips still pumping, and he felt the sticky sensation of cum in his underwear. Then he groaned and collapsed against Robert’s chest.

He became aware of Robert’s large hands moving across his back, rubbing soothing circles, helping him come down from his high. Robert kissed his ear, his cheek, his temple. ‘Okay?’ he asked.

Aaron nodded. ‘Yeah.’ He moved a little, then pushed himself up. He looked down at Robert, then grinned, then laughed. ‘Oh my god. I can’t believe that just happened.’

Robert laughed along with him, both of them caught in the moment. They moved together and kissed, Aaron letting Robert control it as his movements were uncoordinated. His hand, though, moved down Robert’s body. He had felt the hardness against his thigh as he came, and he felt it now still. ‘You’re still hard,’ he said, his voice a whisper. Robert nodded. Aaron continued to palm at his cock, but when he started to scratch the zip, he looked at Robert for permission. He nodded again, and Aaron smiled. He shuffled off Robert’s lap and knelt beside him on the sofa. Then he pulled Robert’s black trousers down. He smirked at the sight of purple underwear, and pushed them down the man’s thighs as well. His eyes widened when he finally saw Robert’s cock. He wrapped his hand around it and held it for a moment. It was fucking huge, and Aaron imagined it inside of him. But right now, he knew that Robert just wanted _this_ : this simple connection. 

‘Aaron,’ he gasped. ‘Move.’ 

And he did, moving his hand slowly at first, jerking him off and stringing it out as long as he could. Robert’s cock was leaking, and precome dribbled down, making his motions easier. Aaron leaned forward and kissed Robert, swallowing the man’s moans, teasing Robert’s tongue with his own. Robert panted and gasped. His eyes closed and he bit his lip. He was stunning. Aaron sped up his movements, concentrating now on giving Robert the pleasure he so clearly wanted. ‘Come on,’ he whispered, not even realising he was saying it. ‘Robert… come on.’

‘Kiss me,’ Robert gasped. Aaron did, and Robert came. His hips rose off the sofa, thrusting wildly into Aaron’s fist. Aaron watched and moaned along with Robert, enjoying the sight as much as Robert was enjoying the sensation.

Calming down, Robert pushed Aaron’s hand away, but pulled him in again for another kiss. ‘God,’ he gasped. ‘Fucking hell.’

Aaron chuckled. He wiped his hand on Robert’s trousers, but pulled his underwear up to his thighs again. Robert smiled and heaved himself up enough to pull them up the rest of the way. Aaron settled himself against Robert’s side, one hand casually stroking the older man’s thigh. 

They sat in silence for a while, until Robert stretched his back, wincing uncomfortably. ‘Bed?’ he asked. He chuckled when Aaron’s eyes lit up. ‘To sleep, Aaron.’

He got a playful pout in return. ‘Yeah, fine. I suppose so.’ They kissed again and then Robert stood up, kicking his trousers off, then looking at them and waving his hand in an ‘I’ll sort it later’ gesture. He held his hand out for Aaron to take and led him upstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so so much for the kudos and the extremely kind words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me :)
> 
> Little more smut in this chapter. Mainly fluff!

Aaron could only stare in silence at the bedroom. Well, maybe at one specific thing in the bedroom: the bed was massive. And gorgeous. He wasn’t one for noticing the furniture or décor of a place, but even he had to admit that that bed was bloody lovely. And he got to sleep in it tonight. With the most gorgeous man he’d ever met.

But there was something bothering him, and he had to readjust himself. Robert noticed and smirked. ‘I’m not letting you get in this bed without cleanin’ yourself first,’ he murmured. Aaron swallowed and nodded. ‘There’s a shower through there.’ He nodded to a closed door across the corridor. ‘And clean towels in there too.’

Aaron bit his lip, wondering how bold he was feeling. Then he remembered practically humping the man’s leg and… well, what did he have to lose really? ‘Join me?’

Robert smiled wider. ‘How did I know you were going to ask that?’ He pulled Aaron to him and kissed him lightly. Aaron deepened it, and started to lead him backwards, towards the door and closer to the bathroom. Robert chuckled. ‘Subtle.’

‘Subtle went out the window ages ago, mate,’ he said. ‘About the time I had my hand around your cock.’

‘Yeah? Not around the time you came in your jeans then, no?’

Aaron sniggered. He really liked this side of Robert: the snarky side, the side that wasn’t afraid to poke fun a little, the really goddamn sexy side. Now that they had made each other come, it seemed that he was far more comfortable around Aaron again, and the younger man couldn’t wait to see what other delights he was in for tonight.

They made it to the bathroom, in between kisses, and Aaron opened the door. Robert switched the light on and went to the bath tub to turn on the shower. Aaron looked around the modest-sized bathroom. Everything was tidy and clean, the walls were cream, one side had a wood finish: the side with a cupboard against it, from which Robert retrieved a clean towel for Aaron. The older man turned around and smiled at him. ‘Alright?’

‘Yeah, yeah. Just… admirin’.’ He let his eyes drag up and down Robert’s body. His breath caught in his throat when Robert stepped towards him, and pulled him into another kiss. 

‘You can put your clothes in the basket,’ he breathed (it was not allowed to sound that sexy). Then he stepped back and started to unbutton his own shirt. 

Aaron immediately hardened again. It was as if his brain only just realised that he’d be seeing Robert naked. Of course he’d already seen that beautiful cock, but this would be the first time he’d see him fully in the nude. He didn’t move, too fixated on Robert. ‘Are you sure this is okay?’ said man asked. ‘Me and you… showering together.’

‘Robert, just shut up and undress.’

Robert grinned. ‘Are you going to as well?’

‘Maybe.’ He nodded to Robert in a ‘carry on’ gesture. And he did. He watched as the last button was undone, and Robert shrugged the shirt off his broad shoulders. All that pale skin underneath. He was pleasantly surprised to see freckles on the man’s skin. He wanted to run his tongue over them, wanted to taste the salty tang of sweat, wanted to feel the man’s soft belly against his lips. ‘You’re in really good shape,’ he said.

Robert chuckled self-consciously. ‘For a 40 year old?’

‘I didn’t say that.’ Aaron moved forward. His eyes moved across the expanse of flesh in front of him. He lay a hand on Robert’s chest. ‘You’re…’ he didn’t finish the sentence; didn’t get the chance to. Robert surged forward and kissed him. 

‘Water will get cold soon,’ Robert said when they parted. He grabbed the hem of Aaron’s shirt, looked at him and waited for his nod before lifting it off him. Aaron felt himself swelling even more under Robert’s appreciative gaze. He took the older man’s hand and directed it to his jeans. Robert didn’t need telling, and he unbuttoned and unzipped, and rolled the jeans down his thighs. Aaron sidestepped out of them, and then reached to push his underwear down as well before urging Robert to do the same. 

Before he could appreciate the man without one stitch of clothing on, Robert had pulled him into the bathtub and under the spray.

As soon as he was able, Aaron pushed himself against Robert’s body, thrilling at the feel of skin on skin. He gripped the man’s blond hair in one hand and pulled him down into a kiss. He moaned low in his throat when his erection once again nudged Robert’s thigh, and felt an answering tingling vibration against his lips. 

Robert moved his kisses down to Aaron’s jaw again, just as he had done on the sofa, but this time he carried on: down his neck, to his collarbone, his chest, licking his nipples, down his trembling stomach, dipping his tongue into his bellybutton. Until he was on his knees in front of Aaron.

Aaron almost came then and there at the sight; of the eyes looking up at him, the slight smirk playing around Robert’s pink lips, that tongue darting out and licking up the water that trickled through his wet hair and down his face. He cupped Robert’s strong jaw in his palm and urged him close. His mouth fell open and he gasped when he finally licked him. His cock twitched, as if wanting to get closer to the warm mouth and he heard Robert chuckle softly over the sound of the shower. He didn’t realise he was murmuring quiet pleas until Robert kissed his leg and said, ‘Shh, I’ve got you.’ His cock jumped again at Robert’s soft voice.

‘Please, Robert, please I—oh!’ He gasped when his tongue licked a firm stripe up his dick, when it swirled around the tip, lapping up the precome there. ‘Fuck, Robert. Oh God! Please please I need—’

‘Need?’

‘Your mouth,’ Aaron gasped through grinding teeth. He couldn’t take his eyes off Robert. He was like a vision, and the steam around him made him even more ethereal. Robert’s hand gripped him loosely. He opened his mouth and finally _finally_ slid his lips around and down Aaron’s cock. 

Aaron lost all sense of time and space. It was fucking glorious being at the mercy of this man. He moved expertly, drawing out Aaron’s pleasure enough that he didn’t get frustrated, but kept him right on the edge for quite some time. Eventually though, Aaron had had enough. He grunted and groaned and pushed his hips forward. He almost came when he felt the tip of his cock touch the back of Robert’s throat. His legs trembled and Robert moved his hands so that he was holding onto them with his large capable palms; the only thing keeping Aaron upright right now. ‘Fuck. God, Robert. You’re so fucking good.’ He chewed his lip restlessly, staccato moans falling from his open mouth. Then Robert hummed, and he drew back just a bit, and when he sunk his head down again, he used just the _slightest suggestion_ of teeth. And that was it. Aaron shook through a mind-blowing orgasm, his legs trembling, his hands clenching at Robert’s shoulders, cries falling again and again from his mouth. 

Robert swallowed everything that Aaron gave him, and when he got back to his feet, he wrapped his arms around the younger man. Aaron jolted and shook, his muscles spasmed. He put his head on Robert’s shoulders and rode it out.

****

Robert woke with his chest pressed against Aaron’s back. After their shower, they really _had_ gone to sleep. As much as they may have wanted to explore each other even more, both of them were exhausted. He breathed a soft sigh. He was actually relieved that Aaron had managed only a few goodnight kisses when they both got into bed: after jerking himself off in the shower, his hand on the tiles behind Aaron’s head, and his eyes trained on his younger lover’s face, Robert couldn’t have gone another round and he really didn’t need Aaron making fun of his stamina and age, no matter how playful it would have been.

But he thought back to the night before, the way that Aaron had been so desperate for him, so willing and wanting. If that wasn’t an ego boost, he didn’t know what was. And the best thing (he could admit this while Aaron was still asleep and no one else was around) was waking up next to the man he had shared last night with. He smiled and ran his hand up and down Aaron’s back. He was _gorgeous_ last night: his face during and post-orgasm may well have topped the list of Robert’s favourite sights. And the way his voice pleaded for more… Robert had been powerless to resist. He pressed a kiss to Aaron’s neck. There was a little grunt from the other man, but otherwise, nothing. Robert reached for his phone to check the time. Still early. He could afford another half an hour’s sleep at least.

****

Aaron woke alone. He turned over; blinked open his eyes and looked around. Then he threw his hand out and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt that Robert’s side of the bed was still warm. He hadn’t long got up then. Aaron moved onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He stared and remembered, and smiled. Last night had been _amazing_. He’d been right to be excited about it: Robert’s experience with other men, the certainty with which he touched Aaron and brought him pleasure was mind-blowing. The smile turned to a grin, which would have turned to an all-out laugh, had he not heard plates banging together downstairs. 

He got up and, hoping that Robert wouldn’t mind him borrowing it, shrugged on a dressing gown which was hung on the back of the door.

When he reached downstairs, he smelt bacon and heard the tones of the morning radio. He wandered through the house (remembering their session on the sofa) until he got to the kitchen. Aaron stood and stared for a while, admiring Robert. He seemed to be in his element here: moving lithely from stove to cupboard, picking up eggs and turning bacon, throwing oil in the pan and flicking on the kettle to boil. Aaron cleared his throat and bit his lip in pleasure when Robert looked over his shoulder and smiled.

‘Need some help?’ he asked, nodding to the breakfast that Robert was single-handedly making.

‘Uh, you could throw some bread into the toaster for us.’

Aaron did so—two slices each—and hunted around for a butter knife. Robert turned the bacon over again and left his post to open a drawer to Aaron’s left which contained the cutlery. He handed him the butter knife at the same time that he pressed a kiss to Aaron’s cheek. ‘Morning,’ he greeted.

Aaron grinned. ‘Morning. I hoped we’d wake up… y’know… together.’

‘I would have stayed there all day, but I have work to get to.’ Robert plated up the bacon and started on the eggs. ‘And so do you.’

‘Yeah, s’pose so,’ Aaron groaned. ‘Fuck work.’

Robert snorted. ‘Yeah, rather not, thank you. Soft yolk or hard?’

They sat at the kitchen table, talking about their day ahead, and looking at each other after each bite of food. When they’d finished, Aaron put their plates in the sink and on the way back to the table, couldn’t help climbing into Robert’s lap and kissing him senseless.

Robert groaned. ‘Could _definitely_ get used to that.’

Aaron grinned and pecked him again on the lips, getting up when Robert patted his thighs in silent indication. ‘Are you sure you have to work?’

‘I’m sure.’

‘You’re not due any sick days or anything?’

‘Call in sick when I’m healthy and well? What kind of man do you take me for?’

They chuckled. ‘Well… I mean, you’d be getting bed rest, so.’

Robert pulled Aaron to him by the tie of the dressing gown. ‘So tempting, but I can’t I’m afraid.’ He kissed him lightly on the lips. ‘I’ll give you a lift back to the village though.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Thanks. Um… my clothes?’

‘I have a few pairs of jogging bottoms that should fit,’ Robert said. ‘Go up; dress. I’ll clean up here.’

****

‘So,’ Robert began. ‘Seeing as you’ve already been on my FaceBook account—’

‘Which I’ve apologised for,’ Aaron reminded him.

‘Which you’ve apologised for,’ Robert said, ‘would you… maybe want to come along to my birthday party at the end of the month?’

Aaron was silent for so long, Robert had to take his eyes off the winding country roads to make sure he was okay. ‘Aaron?’

‘Yeah, I heard you. Um,’ he shifted on his seat, moving about, pulling the seatbelt away from his collarbone… ‘Are you serious?’

‘Hey, you don’t have to,’ Robert reassured him. ‘I just thought maybe, I don’t know, I could introduce you to a few of my friends.’

‘You’re serious, aren’t you?’

‘Aaron, I don’t want to hide you away.’ His eyes moved back and forth, between the road and Aaron. ‘But if you don’t feel comfortable, I completely understand. I mean,’ he shrugged, ‘we haven’t even defined what we are to _each other_ yet, let alone—’

‘We haven’t?’

‘Huh? I don—we have?’

They laughed quietly at their conversation. Aaron cleared his throat. ‘This morning; it was really, really nice. I’d like to do that whole wake up to you cookin’ me breakfast thing on a more frequent basis.’

Robert chuckled. ‘I’d like that as well. And maybe next time we can just stay in bed for a while longer.’

‘Yeah?’ Aaron nibbled on his lip. ‘When?’

‘When are you able to stay over again?’

‘Anytime,’ Aaron replied without missing a beat. 

‘Today’s Wednesday, so… Friday? I’ll pick you up after work.’

‘Okay. And, what, you’ll take the morning off on Saturday?’

‘Yeah.’ He looked over and smiled. ‘Is that okay?’

‘That’s great.’

Before they knew it (and much too soon for Aaron’s liking) they were coming to the road into Emmerdale. ‘Could you drop me here?’ Aaron said.

‘But there’s still a little way to go.’

‘Yeah, but I’d rather my Mum didn’t cause a scene with you right here… I didn’t tell her I was gonna be out last night.’

‘What? Has she called you?’

Aaron checked his phone which had been on silent all last night and all morning. He felt a little guilty at the number of times both she and Paddy had called and left messages. ‘A few.’

‘Aaron! Look, I’m not comfortable doing this if she’s gonna worry about you.’

‘I’ll tell her where I’ve been and I’ll tell her I’ve got plans for Friday night as well. Okay?’

Robert still didn’t look convinced but, with the car now pulled over in a lay-by, Aaron leaned over and kissed him gently. ‘ _Don’t_ make a habit of that,’ Robert warned. ‘She needs to know where you are.’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘She doesn’t need to know _anything_ ,’ he grumbled, but when he saw the look on his lover’s face he sighed. ‘I’ll tell her. I will! Please don’t end the morning like this.’

That softened Robert’s resolve, and he leaned over and kissed Aaron. ‘I just want you to be safe,’ he said. When Aaron nodded in acquiescence, he kissed him again. Aaron pulled him closer, intending on deepening it, but Robert pulled away. ‘I have to go.’

‘Okay. Friday, yeah?’

‘Friday, definitely. Have a good day, Aaron.’

‘You, too.’ He got out of the car, but before he closed the door, he leaned back in. ‘Oh, and by the way, yeah: I’ll come to your party.’

Robert’s smile spread wide at his words. He drove off, and then Aaron was brought back to reality unpleasantly. Time to face his Mum, he supposed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much for all of the kudos and comments, and just for reading this fic! I have been so overwhelmed by how much people have enjoyed this, and I hope I can carry on pleasing you all :)  
> I am so so sorry about the wait for this chapter! I had a little bit of a block, and then I had to sort out some real life stuff. But I'm (hopefully) back on the wagon now! Happy reading xx
> 
> Little disclaimer: Cielo Blanco is a real Mexican restaurant in Yorkshire which I neither own nor have been to!

‘Where the _hell_ have you been!?’ 

Aaron rolled his eyes at his mother’s shrill voice. He had been sent home by Cain, who had evidently been under strict instructions to send Chas’s son to her if he made an appearance. He narrowed his eyes at both her and Paddy, who was sitting there as if keeping a vigil over his Mum. ‘Aaron?’ Paddy asked, softer and calmer but no less unwanted by the younger man.

He huffed. ‘I was out.’

Chas shook her head. ‘That’s helpful. Where? You could have been anywhere, Aaron, been with anyone.’

‘Were you with Robert?’ Paddy asked.

Before Aaron could answer, Chas had pounced on it. ‘Were you? With that lad you like?’

He couldn’t help the smile, because _‘that lad’_ was older than her!

‘It’s not funny, Aaron,’ she yelled.

‘Yes, I was with him,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t let you know.’

‘You didn’t tell us anything,’ Chas said. ‘Not even that you’d gone.’

‘Yeah, because I knew how you’d react. I’m not a child!’

‘Then stop behaving like one,’ Paddy said, his voice suddenly stern enough to cause a quiet in the room. ‘Did you not think about your Mum? Didn’t you think she’d _worry_?’

‘I said I was sorry,’ Aaron said, though he softened his voice. After everything that they had gone through, he didn’t want to cause her even more upset. ‘I just—’ he shrugged helplessly. ‘I was havin’ a good time—for once. I forgot I suppose.’

‘And I’m glad you could enjoy yourself, son,’ Chas said. ‘But I’d _appreciate_ a word of warning next time.’

He nodded. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said sincerely. ‘I never meant to worry you like this.’

It was all it took, and she had her arms around him. 

****

_A: Mum wasn’t happy with me._

_R: Not surprised. Did she ground you? ;)_

_A: Yeah, she did as it happens. No Friday night for me._

_R: What? You’re kidding!_

_A: Course I am you idiot! I’m 24 not 14!_

‘I can’t keep up with you!’ Clive’s voice made Robert jump and hide his phone on instinct. ‘One minute you have a face like a turkey-lover who’s just seen Bernard Matthews, the next you couldn’t be happier!’

Robert grinned. But before he could speak, another of their work mates spoke up. ‘It’s called the beginnings of a relationship, mate, you’ve been with Wendy too long to understand.’

‘But she is my sun and my moon!’ Clive grinned. He turned back to Robert. ‘So it’s going well I take it? You and the young’un?’

‘Yeah, thanks for that,’ Robert said. ‘It’s going well. I’ve, uh, invited him to my party.’

‘Oh, so he knows that you’re turning the big 4-0 then?’

‘It would be _great_ if you’d stop calling it that.’

‘What? It’s not every day you turn the—’

‘Seriously, they’ll never find your body.’

‘Fine, sorry!’ Clive chuckled and sat at Robert’s desk again. He felt like they were teenagers in school. It was a wonder how they got anything done, when someone got on the rumour mill. ‘So, he knows and he’s okay. You’re both okay?’

‘Yes, we’re both okay.’ He remembered Aaron’s face last night lax in pleasure, and again this morning relaxed in sleep. He smiled. ‘We’re good.’

Clive nudged him. ‘Right. Well leave the details to Wendy. I’m sure her perverted mind will want to know _everything_.’

Robert grinned, but before he could say something about Clive being just as bad, his phone vibrated on the desk.

_A: So do you have plans for us on Friday?_

_R: I was thinking about taking you out to a restaurant. There’s a Mexican place I go to. Sound good?_

_A: Sounds great_

Even though the kinds of places that he liked weren’t quite to Aaron’s tastes, Robert wanted to treat his lover. He enjoyed taking him out, treating him to nice meals and fancy cocktails. 

_R: Good. Talk to you later, yeah?_

_A: Yeah_

****

‘Your Mum knows then, does she?’ Cain said from under a car that he was working on. ‘About you bein’ out, and where you’ve been.’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘You know, it’d be nice if you all stopped treatin’ me like a child.’

‘What, after all the trouble you caused us couple years ago?’ He said it so casually that it was impossible for Aaron to take offence. ‘And maybe,’ he slid out from the car, got to his feet and levelled his spanner in Aaron’s direction, ‘if you stopped actin’ like a child—’

‘Yeah, Paddy’s already given me that one,’ Aaron said. ‘Thanks, though.’

Cain nodded. ‘They’ve done a lot for you, lad. God knows I wouldn’t be as forgiving as them right now.’

‘Liar.’

‘Don’t take advantage of them, alright? That’s all I’m sayin’.’ Aaron had the good grace to feel and look ashamed. It was true: maybe he did take advantage of his Mum and pseudo-Dad. It wasn’t like he did it on purpose. He had been getting better, after Ed and France. He’d been barely recognisable as the young, angry teen with the bad attitude. And then Tom came along and messed that up. He didn’t think he’d ever forgive him for that. There were a lot of things that he wouldn’t forgive Tom for, but having to make Chas, Paddy, Cain, Zak, Adam, all of them put up with the boy they thought they had exorcised was top of the list simply because it hurt everyone he loved so much. No matter what he tried to do though, he couldn’t seem to get his mind to reset itself to a time between Jackson and Tom.

‘I didn’t mean to worry her like that,’ he said.

‘As long as you’ve sorted it with her,’ Cain replied. He gestured to the kettle. ‘Let’s have a cuppa, yeah? You still remember how to do that?’

Aaron took that as close to an acceptance to an apology as his uncle was likely to give. 

When he got in from work that afternoon, his Mum was behind the bar. He sat himself on a stool, and smiled when she looked at him in askance. ‘Just wanted to say hi,’ he said. ‘Been busy?’

She shrugged. ‘Off and on, love. How was work?’

‘Alright. Hey, I really am sorry about last night, Mum. I didn’t mean to—’

‘Oh, love. Let’s just… call it a learnin’ curve, yeah?’ Her reassuring smile faltered when he raised an eyebrow sceptically. She had been having kittens this morning. ‘I’m not going to apologise for worrying about you, Aaron. Even if everything that you went through with Tom hadn’t happened, you’re still my little boy—’

‘Mum—’

‘You’re still my little boy, and I’ll always worry about you. I know you think Paddy and I are overbearing or overprotective or whatever you think of us, but we only do it because we care about you.’

‘I know,’ he said contritely. ‘I’m going out again on Friday.’

‘Okay.’

‘Okay? That’s it?’

Chas laughed, though it wasn’t with any kind of mirth that Aaron had ever met. ‘Whether I tell you yes or no, you’re gonna go anyway, so I’d rather know that you’re out than to come into your room and find you gone.’

‘Right.’ He tried to smile again, and then got up to disappear into the back room.

‘Just be careful, love. I know that you said that this Robert isn’t like Tom, but even so… be careful.’

****

Aaron’s phone rang when he was upstairs, after dinner. Luckily his Mum was watching television in the living room, but he closed the door behind him anyway before taking the call from Robert, just in case.

‘Hey.’

‘Hi.’

Aaron smiled at Robert’s voice. ‘How was your day?’ he asked the older man.

‘Oh, same old. Busy; frustrating clients; kept being disturbed by someone texting me.’ He said it playfully and Aaron grinned.

‘Yeah? Some people just don’t have any consideration, do they?’

‘Tell me about it.’ They chuckled. ‘So, how was your day?’

‘Bit dull. Had a lecture from my uncle, though.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah, a little add-on to the one I had from my Mum and Paddy this morning.’

‘Paddy?’

‘Yeah, he’s… he’s like my Dad.’

‘Right. Sorry you got an earful from them.’

‘S’alright.’ He shrugged even though Robert couldn’t see him. ‘We’re okay now.’

‘Good. And we’re still on for Friday?’

‘Definitely. Can’t wait.’

‘Don’t blame you.’

Aaron laughed. ‘I missed this side of you,’ he said honestly, then could have kicked himself when it fell out of his mouth.

‘What side?’

He swallowed. In for a penny in for a pound, as his Mum would say. ‘Y’know, this _sure of yourself_ side.’

Robert sniggered. ‘Arrogant side, you mean.’

‘If the glove fits, mate.’ He smiled. ‘The flirtatious side as well.’

‘Oh?’

Aaron shook his head. ‘Nope, that’s all you’re getting tonight!’

‘Spoilsport. I thought I was the old man!’

‘Yeah, but my Mum is downstairs. She’s probably listening in right now, actually.’

‘Fair enough.’ He cleared his throat and when he talked again his voice had lost some of the flirtatious lilt. ‘I know I said Mexican today, but are you okay with Mexican food?’

‘Yeah. I mean, I’ve never tried it, but it’s good food, right?’

‘One of the best. You’re in for a treat.’

‘Yeah, I don’t doubt it.’ He wasn’t just thinking about the food, and he was sure that it came through in his voice.

‘Hey, if I’m not allowed to do it, you’re not allowed to either,’ Robert laughed. 

Aaron lied back on his bed and closed his eyes. It was so difficult to listen to Robert’s voice and not try and start something with him. ‘I need to go,’ he said. ‘I have to shower before my Mum gets there and uses all the hot water.’

Robert groaned and Aaron’s fists clenched in the mattress. ‘You had to go there, didn’t you? You’re a tease, Aaron Dingle.’

He smirked. ‘I know.’ They listened to each other breathe for a moment longer. ‘I really do have to go,’ Aaron said eventually.

‘Okay. Good night.’

‘Night.’

****

He woke up Thursday morning with a hard-on. Aaron checked his phone and groaned when he saw the time. He had time for a quick wank, yes, but not enough to really savour the moment. He tugged himself quickly to the memory of Robert on his knees in front of him, the feel of the man’s thigh under him rubbing glorious friction against his crotch. He bit his lip and his toes curled. It was a bit unsatisfying when he came, but at least it released some pressure and tension in his body.

God, Friday couldn’t come soon enough. 

His phone vibrated and he automatically jabbed it to turn the alarm off, but noticed his message notification. 

_R: Morning. You awake?_

Aaron grinned. _A: Yeah. Bit early, innit?_

_R: Not really. I was thinking about you. Wish I was there with you._

‘Oh Christ,’ Aaron whispered, realising instantly the tone in Robert’s text.

_A: Yeah? What would you be doing?_

_R: Kissing your lips, then your cheek. Teasing your jaw with my teeth. My hand would be on your chest_

_A: Holding me down?_

_R: Like you’d want to move. No, pinching your nipples. Then licking them._

_A: I love it when you do that_

_R: You’d moan for me?_

_A: You know I would. Christ Robert_

_R: My hand would go further. Down to your stomach. Are you ticklish?_

_A: A little :)_

_R: Enough that it would ruin the mood?_

_A: Maybe!_

_R: Okay, so I’ll bypass your stomach then!_

_A: My cock isn’t ticklish though_

_R: Jokes this early? I don’t want to give it to you yet. You have to earn it_

_A: How? Want me to blow you? What if I pull you up the bed, until you’re hovering over me, and then I put my tongue right on the tip of your cock_

_R: Oh god. I can’t wait for your mouth_

_A: It’s good. I’m good_

_R: I can believe that. Are you touching yourself?_

_A: Yeah. I already came once this morning. Dreamt about you and woke up hard_

_R: Fuck. Keep touching yourself. It’s my hand around your cock now, stroking it slowly. Painfully slowly_

He had started to harden as soon as Robert had started their little sexting session. Aaron gripped himself and stroked as Robert told him. It was late, but how could he resist this? He had to bite his lip. His eyes closed, and he forced them open, not wanting to miss another message.

_R: I’m gripping you harder, tugging quicker. God, you feel so good. Your precum is leaking over my hand. Should I taste it?_

_A: No make me come first_

_R: Okay. Faster, and I’m twisting my hand. You remember, the way you did to me?_

Aaron remembered.

_A: Are you touching yourself?_

_R: Yes I can still feel your hands, Aaron._

_A: Fuck. I’m close._

_R: Come for me._

Aaron gasped, his back arched off the mattress and he came over his chest and stomach, adding to the drying strings of white that was already there. ‘Fuck,’ he whispered. His phone pinged.

_R: Did you come?_

_A: Yeah. Did you?_

_R: Yeah. Almost hit my fucking chin!_

Aaron huffed a laugh. Then he groaned in frustration. _A: I can’t wait this long. Sure we can’t meet today?_

_R: No. Behave yourself! I’m gonna take you out tomorrow. Wine and dine you_

_A: You know I couldn’t care less about that don’t you?_

_R: Yeah, well I do. Need to treat my boy well_

Aaron grinned.

_A: Your boy? Is that what I am now?_

_R: If you’re on your best behaviour_

_A: I can do that_

A knock at his door. ‘Aaron! Get up!’

He rolled his eyes. ‘I’m awake!’

_A: Mum’s calling me. I have to go. This was fun though_

_R: Yeah it was. Tomorrow then_

_A: Tomorrow_

****

‘I’d know that smile anywhere,’ Wendy said. She nodded in thanks when Robert put her latte in front of her. ‘Sealed the deal, did you?’

He grinned. ‘I don’t know how terrible it is that you know my “stamped card” face.’

Wendy laughed. ‘I just know you well, love. Clive told me that it’s going well.’

‘Yeah. Aaron, he’s… he’s really something. I’m taking him out to that Mexican restaurant, Cielo Blanco.’

‘He’ll love it there.’

‘I hope so.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Clive might have told you already, but I invited him—Aaron, I mean—to my birthday party.’

‘Yeah, so he said. It’s… impressive that he doesn’t mind about your age.’

Robert sat back. ‘Impressive? How? There’s only 16 years between us.’

‘I know. But you know how some kids can be.’

‘He’s not a kid!’

‘No, I know. Look, I’m not saying it’s anything bad,’ she chuckled. ‘I’m really happy, Robert. As long as you’re happy, I am. Honestly.’

Her smile was sincere, and Robert nodded. ‘Good. I do like him, Wend. And he likes me as well.’

‘Well then, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?’

****

Aaron called Robert as he was driving to the village on Friday afternoon. He clicked into speaker mode. ‘Hiya, you alright?’

‘Yeah, fine.’ He could practically hear Aaron’s discomfort over the phone. 

‘Aaron? Sure everything’s okay?’ _Please,_ he thought. _Don’t bail on me._

‘Yeah, no it’s fine. Um, just… could you pick me up from a little outside the village? Remember where you dropped me off on Wednesday?’

Robert frowned. ‘I thought you’d cleared everything up with your Mum?’

‘I have. Just… she’s a nosy so-and-so sometimes, and I don’t want her grabbing you and givin’ you the third degree.’

Robert relaxed a little. ‘Are you sure that’s all it is?’

‘Yes, that’s all it is.’

‘Okay. I’m nearly there now. Be careful.’

They hung up and he breathed again. He could believe that Aaron’s Mum was capable of giving him the third degree, even after the small amount that he had been told about her. To be honest though, it seemed that Aaron was a bit reckless, so it was perhaps warranted. He pulled up to the lay-by ten minutes later. He didn’t have to wait long before he saw Aaron’s by now familiar figure walking down the road. When he was a bit closer, Robert got out of the car to meet him. He smiled. He had told Aaron to wear something smart-casual, and he hadn’t disappointed him: navy blue trousers and a white button-up shirt. No tie, and Robert wondered how cold he was without a blazer or jacket, but he looked wonderful.

They moved together and met each other with a kiss. Aaron’s hand clenched at Robert’s waist, and Robert’s fingers moved through Aaron’s thicker beard. Seemed he hadn’t shaved since Wednesday. Robert always had loved men with beards, and took great pleasure in feeling the rasp of the thick bristles against his own clean-shaven skin.

Robert pulled back from the contact first, but rested his forehead on Aaron’s. ‘Hi,’ he breathed. Aaron licked his lips and responded by nudging their noses together again, and Robert dodged the next kiss with great regret. ‘We’ve got reservations for 6.30,’ he said. He moved back completely and smiled at the dazed look in Aaron’s eyes. ‘Time enough for that,’ he murmured.

He took Aaron’s hand and strode around to the passenger side, opening the door for him. Aaron gave him an odd glance, but got into the car.

They kept the conversation light in the car, both men knowing that they couldn’t give into their desires yet. Like Robert said, there was time enough for it and he planned on making the most of his day off tomorrow by keeping Aaron awake most of the night tonight. But for now, he was looking forward to going out and treating Aaron to a good meal. He delighted in the way that the younger man inched forward in his seat to see the bright and inviting restaurant which they parked in front of.

‘Are we seriously gonna eat here?’ Aaron said incredulously. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. ‘You know that I’m on minimum wage, don’t you?’

‘Which is why I’m buying,’ Robert said easily. When Aaron opened his mouth to argue, he shook his head. ‘Don’t make a big deal about it,’ he said. ‘I like treating you.’

‘Yeah, so treat me with a pint or something,’ Aaron said, though he was still looking at the restaurant with interest.

Robert nudged him. ‘They serve beers here. Come on.’

They were shown to their table, and the whole time, Aaron was looking around: up at the glass ceiling, the lights on the wall, the potted plants. Robert felt so endeared by his wonder that he wanted to kiss him right then and there, but he didn’t know how taken Aaron was by the idea of public displays of affection. He handed Aaron the menu, but the younger man passed it back. ‘You know what’s good,’ he said. It made Robert smile.

He chose a sharing board of belly pork and crackling, something that he thought Aaron would enjoy. It seemed he chose right when the food was put on the table and Aaron’s eyes lit up, and he dug into the food with great eagerness, smiling as soon as the taste hit his tongue. 

‘This is really good,’ Aaron said for the third time.

Robert laughed. ‘It is, isn’t it? I’ve come here loads of times.’

‘With… dates?’

He nodded. ‘Dates, friends. Sometimes just on my own when I felt I needed to treat myself.’ He cut one of the chorizo meatballs in half and pushed one half over to Aaron’s side of the board. ‘What kind of food do you like?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘I don’t really know enough about different foods to know my favourite. Marlon, the chef at the pub, cooks meals as if he’s in some kind of fancy restaurant, but it’s all a bit too much for a lunch at the pub, you know?’ Robert heard the mocking in Aaron’s voice but also saw the softness in his eyes. Marlon seemed to be someone important to him. He felt a little flare of jealousy.

‘Marlon?’

‘Yeah, my cousin.’ Aaron looked up from under his lashes and smirked. ‘I know what you were thinkin’,’ he said.

Robert just laughed, not even denying it. ‘So do you cook?’

Aaron rocked his head from side to side. ‘Yeah, only stuff like pasta and roasts and that. Nothing like this. How about you?’

‘I’m a bit of a stellar chef, actually,’ he said with a grin. He turned it a bit more coy when Aaron rolled his eyes playfully. ‘I had a job as a chef once,’ he said, ‘and then when I moved on, I just kept practising at home. I’ve been trying Chinese food recently, but can’t seem to get the spices right.’

Aaron seemed preoccupied with the sweet potato, but Robert caught the impressed slant of his mouth. ‘None of my other boyfriends could cook,’ he said. ‘Maybe you could whip us up something some time?’

‘I’d love that,’ Robert said softly. Softly enough that Aaron looked up and caught his eye. Robert cleared his throat. ‘I could make you breakfast tomorrow. What would you like?’

‘Seriously? Okay, um… how about French toast?’

Robert grinned. ‘You don’t look like the French toast type of lad.’ He grinned when Aaron kicked his shin lightly under the table.

Aaron was quiet for a second, but then he leaned forward and spoke in hushed tones, as if imparting a secret. ‘When I was with Ed, we travelled around France for a little while. We stayed in a little B&B once, before we found work and a flat, and I remember having this really good French toast.’ He chuckled and jealousy—and no small amount of envy— flared again inside Robert at the thought of Aaron remembering one of his exes with that kind of happiness. ‘He tried to make it when we got our own flat, but he managed to burn something.’ He grinned again. ‘Great rugby player, terrible cook.’

Robert smiled. ‘French toast it will be then.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm.... I don't know whether to smut it up again for the next chapter, or cut straight to the next morning... What would you guys like to see?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your smut, you beasts! ;P

Aaron didn’t know if he’d ever get used to someone paying for his meals for him, especially when they cost so much. Robert had tried to whip the receipt away from his prying eyes when the waiter presented it, but the younger man caught the price anyway. 

‘Are you sure you don’t want to split it?’ Aaron asked as Robert got his card out of his wallet. 

‘I’m sure,’ Robert replied with a smile. But Aaron wouldn’t let it go, even in the car on the way back to his place, Aaron kept asking, until Robert lost a little of his patience. ‘Aaron, seriously, will you stop going on about it? It’s just money!’

Aaron raised his eyebrows. ‘Yeah, well some of us don’t have that kinda cash to just splash around. Sorry for being considerate.’

He turned away to face the window, watching as streetlights strobed in and out of his vision. He caught Robert’s sigh. ‘I like treating you, Aaron.’

‘Yeah, but doesn’t mean you have to get all pissy when I offer to pay my way.’

Perhaps it was the way he said it, but it made Robert smile. ‘I’m sorry.’

Aaron rolled his eyes, but he already knew he’d forgiven the man. ‘You could sound a little more sincere.’

Robert forced the smile off his lips. ‘I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Better?’

The younger man grinned and shook his head. Yes, he most definitely missed this cock sure side of his lover. His eyes flickered to Robert's lips. ‘Gettin’ there,’ he said hoarsely. Robert smirked, and Aaron swore he started to drive a bit faster.

They were barely inside the house when they were on each other. Robert’s huge hands framed Aaron’s face and his lips were on his own. Aaron barely had time to catch his breath before Robert was thrusting his tongue into his mouth, and unbuttoning Aaron’s shirt.

They scrambled upstairs, Aaron loosening Robert’s belt on the way up, and he had the man’s flies undone by the time they got to his bedroom. Robert pushed him down onto the bed and climbed over him. He kissed Aaron’s lips, his cheeks, his jaw and his throat feverishly. Aaron could do nothing but let his hands wander and let himself be consumed by his man. He pushed his hands down Robert’s back, grabbing handfuls of his jacket, until he reached his arse and pushed Robert against him.

‘Fuck, Aaron,’ Robert groaned. 

Aaron grinned. Yeah, he really loved his name falling from Robert’s lips. He shuffled backwards and upwards on the bed, until his head was on the pillows. Robert followed him, and crawled up his body, until he was on his hands and knees over Aaron. Then he reached over and switched on the lamp. 

‘I want to see you,’ Robert said. Aaron nodded. He couldn’t take his eyes off Robert as the older man unbuttoned his white shirt. They had seen each other naked a few nights ago in the shower, but there was something completely different about being undressed by Robert in his bed. 

As he uncovered more and more skin, Robert pressed kisses there, his tongue and lips caressing almost every inch of Aaron’s chest, until he was shivering beneath him. ‘Okay?’ Robert asked, raising his head.

‘Yeah, don’t stop.’ 

Whilst Robert worked his way down Aaron’s chest, Aaron threaded his hands through the man’s short blond hair, down his neck, and swept across his broad shoulders. He could imagine his legs over those shoulders, his heels digging into Robert’s back. It made his breath hitch just thinking about it. His fingers crept under Robert’s collar, tickling the skin at his neck. He felt him grin against his chest, and Aaron smiled in return. He moved his hands to the front of Robert’s shirt, and fiddled with the buttons. ‘Expensive shirt?’ he asked.

Robert didn’t look up from tonguing Aaron’s chest, in the middle space between his nipples. ‘Kind of.’

Aaron bit his lip. He wanted Robert naked, and he really didn’t want to wait to unbutton everything, so he pulled. He didn’t expect three buttons to fly off, and for Robert to jerk his head up.

‘Aaron!’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t think that would happen!’ The fact that he was biting his lip on his smile reduced the sincerity of his apology. ‘I couldn’t wait.’

Robert grinned and shook his head. ‘Just… go easy, yeah?’ He returned to Aaron’s chest and Aaron sighed in pleasure. ‘You’re lucky I know how to sew.’

‘You know how to sew?’ Aaron snorted. He was unbuttoning Robert’s shirt properly now, his fingers fumbling a little over them in his rush to get them undone.

‘Yeah, I had to learn early.’ He said all of this with a mouthful of Aaron’s skin, and it sounded slightly ridiculous.

Aaron sniggered. ‘Y’know, this dirty talk is really off the charts.’

Robert smiled. ‘Alright, sarcastic.’ He turned his attention back to his lover’s chest, and planted small kisses on a trail to Aaron’s left nipple. He swirled his tongue around it and Aaron gasped. 

‘Fuck, Robert. Ke—keep doin’ that.’

He did, kissing Aaron’s nipples messily, alternating between them, until Aaron was shaking beneath him. Aaron pushed on Robert’s shoulders, encouraging him to go lower and at the same time he pushed the shirt off him. Robert knelt up to take the shirt off properly, and Aaron sat up to run his own mouth and hands across his chest. He nibbled at Robert’s collarbone, and swept his tongue into the dip there. Robert moaned and Aaron grinned. He’d found a sensitive spot, and he was keen to take advantage of it. 

Robert took the chance to push Aaron’s own shirt off his shoulders, and threw it over the side of the bed. Then his hands circled over Aaron’s back, down his arms, squeezing his pleasantly muscular biceps a couple of times, and finally to his front again to push Aaron back on the bed. He kissed down Aaron’s chest to his stomach, and the younger man couldn’t help a little giggle. ‘You really are ticklish,’ Robert said. There was an endearing tone to his voice, and Aaron stroked his cheek with his calloused palm. ‘Don’t worry: I won’t spoil this.’

He went lower, taking a quick detour to dip his tongue into Aaron’s bellybutton, until he kissed and licked the top of Aaron’s navy trousers. Aaron’s breath caught in his throat. He pushed on Robert’s shoulders again, and that seemed to be indication enough for him, as he unzipped and unbuttoned the flies. Aaron groaned low in his throat and Robert raised his head. ‘That sounded amazing,’ he breathed. He smiled, and Aaron bit his lip. 

‘Come on,’ Aaron said, nudging his arm with his thigh. He lifted his hips and Robert pulled his trousers down, ducked his head for a moment to kiss the happy trail to the top of Aaron’s underwear, and then pulled them off too. Aaron erection bounced up to hit his stomach, and he groaned a little.

‘God, you’re fucking _gorgeous_ , Aaron.’ Robert looked at him as if he were a starving man. Aaron flushed slightly, but he also felt his cock grow a little bit more at the compliment. He still couldn’t get over this stunning man actually wanting him. Robert kissed Aaron’s mouth again, and Aaron wound his arms around his neck. It was somehow really exciting, being completely naked whilst Robert still had his trousers on. He didn’t often like it; it made him feel vulnerable and exposed but something about being under the older man, having his reassuring weight pressing against him… it made him feel protected and safe. 

Robert moved back down Aaron’s body, and pressed open mouthed kisses to the insides of his thighs. Aaron breathed heavily, feeling Robert’s gushes of breath every so often rising higher and higher up his thigh, until he could almost feel them against his balls. His toes curled and he keened. ‘Please,’ he whispered. ‘Please, Robert, please.’

‘Sh sh. I’ve got you.’ He pushed one last filthy kiss into Aaron’s right thigh, and then pushed them up, indicating Aaron to hold them. Then he raised Aaron’s hips higher, and shuffled lower.

‘Oh god, oh god,’ Aaron mumbled over and over. He knew what Robert wanted to do. He’d seen it in porn, but never had it done to him before. ‘Fuck, Robert.’

‘This is okay, yeah?’

‘Yeah. Jesus _Christ_ yes!’ Even though he wasn’t looking (his head was flung back into the pillow and his eyes were clenched shut), Aaron could picture Robert’s pleased smile at Aaron sounding so desperate for him. Aaron couldn’t even work up the wherewithal to care about that. He felt Robert’s hands push his arse cheeks apart, and his own hands gripped the backs of his knees tighter, hoisting himself up even further. He felt Robert’s warm breath at his hole, and he clenched unconsciously. He bit his lip.

‘Oh _fuck_!’ 

It was unexpected and fucking _good_ , the first swipe of Robert’s tongue over his hole. He widened his legs, hoping it’d encourage Robert on even more. Robert fucking _devoured_ him, and Aaron shook, panted and sobbed with desire. He had never ever felt anything like it before: Robert’s soft, knowing tongue dragging over his puckered flesh, circling around it, the tip dipping in every so often. God he was good at this. He felt Robert smirk against his arse, and only then realised that he had said it out loud. ‘Don’t stop,’ he whined. ‘Don’t fucking stop, Robert.’

He rocked his hips, trying to chase Robert’s tongue, trying to get more friction. It felt so good. Too good. His breath quickened and shallowed. ‘Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.’

Immediately, Robert moved away and pushed himself up Aaron’s body again.

‘No, no, you’re not gonna come. Not yet.’

Aaron rocked his hips again, but Robert pushed his large hands on them, keeping them in place. He lay on top of Aaron, almost completely covering him from pelvis to chest. Then he kissed him. If he wanted Aaron to not come, he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Aaron panted harder, he tried to thrust his hips faster.

‘Shshsh,’ Robert soothed him. ‘You’re not gonna come.’ He kissed Aaron again, slowly, seductively. And somehow, it worked. Concentrating on Robert’s tongue in his mouth allowed him to forget his tongue in his arse, and he calmed down. Robert pulled away when Aaron’s breathing started to even out again. He smiled. ‘Good?’

‘Yeah, good.’

He pulled Aaron’s hands away from his knees, and Aaron stretched his legs out. His cock was still hard, still resting between his bare stomach and Robert’s clothed one, but it didn’t feel as if it would explode at the slightest touch anymore. Robert knelt up again and pulled Aaron’s right hand to his mouth and kissed it. Then he reached across Aaron to the drawer on the bedside cabinet. He held up a condom. 

‘Is this okay?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, protection definitely.’

‘No, I mean… is it okay to fuck you?’

Aaron could probably have come right then and there. ‘Yeah,’ he squeaked. He cleared his throat. ‘Yeah.’ He tugged at the zip on Robert’s trousers. ‘Can’t do it in those, though.’ He sat up so he could reach Robert better, and pulled the zip down. He pushed his trousers and underwear down in one move, and then stopped for a moment afterwards to admire Robert’s cock. He wanted so desperately to get it in his mouth, but he wanted even more to get it somewhere a bit further south of his mouth as well. So he settled on stroking it a little, grinning up at Robert when the man moaned. ‘Can I?’ he asked, picking up the condom. Robert nodded, and Aaron did the honours, rolling the rubber onto his gorgeous cock.

Once finished, Robert pushed Aaron back onto the bed. He lifted Aaron’s legs again, and knelt between them to open him with lube. Aaron sighed as the first finger breached his hole. He was so ready for Robert that he met no resistance, even when he pushed in his third finger. He nudged against Aaron’s prostate and the younger man’s eyes flew open, his mouth also opening on a gasp. 

Robert was grinning. He pushed his fingers in again one last time, this time avoiding Aaron’s prostate. He shuffled forward and looked at Aaron, his eyes all of a sudden serious. ‘Are you sure this is okay?’

‘Fuck yes,’ Aaron breathed. ‘Stop and I’ll fucking deck you!’

Robert laughed. He kissed Aaron again, and then pushed in.

Aaron moaned and bit his lip. Robert felt fucking huge inside him. He clenched around him, and saw the man shut his eyes. They both breathed deeply. He nudged Robert’s thigh with his foot as indication that he could move when he felt adjusted to the feeling. Robert kept his eyes closed as he pulled back and thrust forward again. It was a short, sharp thrust, as if just testing, but it still made Aaron catch his breath.

‘M—more,’ he grunted. ‘Come on, Robert.’

And he moved again, his thrust a little surer this time. He shifted on his knees, his eyes opened and he frowned slightly. When he thrust in again, it became clear that he was trying to aim for Aaron’s prostate. Aaron shifted Robert’s hips and nodded. He pushed his hips forward and—

‘Oh!’

Robert grinned, and then… then Aaron was lost. He was being taken apart and put back together again by the man above him. With each thrust, Robert ruined him. He pushed him closer and closer to the point of no return every time he moved inside Aaron. Aaron panted, gasped, garbled obscenities, and clenched his hands in the mattress, on Robert’s shoulder, in the pillow behind his own head. 

This was… nothing had _ever_ felt this good. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and then he could do nothing but feel Robert’s cock pounding against his prostate on every thrust. Robert grunted, panted, moaned Aaron’s name. He raised himself onto his knees and fucked into him even faster, even harder, and that was enough.

Aaron’s shaking hands scrabbled for his own leaking cock. He tugged in time with Robert’s thrusts one, two, three times. He came on a moan, his toes curling, his back arching, his hole clenching, his breath stolen from his lungs. Every single part of Aaron was pushed into that orgasm. It felt like it went on forever, stretched out even more by Robert still thrusting wildly into him. He moaned with every string of cum that shot out of his cock. Robert came almost instantly after, and Aaron lost his breath again at the pumping of his hips. Each thrust pushed against his already sensitive prostate, and Aaron’s toes curled again. He moaned Robert’s name and clenched his hands in Robert’s arms. 

Finally, Robert stilled. Aaron fell back onto the mattress, out of breath and completely dazed.

****

‘Bloody hell,’ Aaron breathed. Robert turned his head and grinned at him.

‘Good?’

‘Fuck yes.’ He stretched his legs out whilst Robert got up to dispose of the condom and to get a wet cloth from the bathroom. Aaron watched as Robert walked back into the room, his softening cock swaying between his legs, and he licked his lips. He smiled when Robert wiped his stomach clean, then leaned down to kiss his skin lightly.

When Robert got back on the bed, Aaron pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist. He brushed his mouth teasingly over the older man’s lips. Robert smiled. ‘If you’re looking for anythin’ to happen,’ he said, ‘you’ll be waiting for a while.’

‘S’alright. I’m enjoyin’ myself,’ Aaron replied cheekily. He kissed Robert properly; their tongues slid messily against one another’s, the kiss was noisy and filthy, uncoordinated and lacking in finesse with their lethargy. Aaron drew back from the kiss; a little string of saliva connected their bottom lips. He slid his hands down Robert’s arms and around his wrists, and pushed them above his head. Robert’s eyebrow raised and Aaron grinned. He swept his bearded cheek over Robert’s smooth one and his breath hitched at the little groan that was pulled from his lover’s throat. Aaron hardened again, and Robert laughed under his breath.

‘C’mere,’ he said. When Aaron furrowed his brow, Robert pulled his wrists free of the younger man’s grip and urged him up his body. It didn’t take long for Aaron to catch on to what Robert wanted him to do, and he was caught between reluctance and eagerness.

‘What about you?’ he asked.

Robert pulled until Aaron’s crotch was over his face. ‘Don’t worry; I’m gonna really enjoy this.’ He kissed Aaron’s balls, and he immediately hardened completely. ‘Hold on to the head board,’ Robert instructed.

Aaron snorted. ‘Think a lot of yourself, do you?’ But he did as Robert asked nonetheless, because he knew all too well how good Robert was with his mouth. 

****

They woke up twice more that night, gravitating back towards each other, needing each other’s bodies. Both times was nothing more than thrusting into the other’s fists, but it left them breathless and exchanging kisses before they drifted back to sleep again. 

When Robert woke properly, the room was bright. He squinted at the man next to him, smiling to see him still asleep, and looked at the time. 10.45am. His eyes widened. This was the latest he had slept in for ages. But, thinking back to last night, it was no wonder why: they had really taken their fill of each other’s bodies. He relaxed back into the bed, pulled the duvet up closer around his shoulders, and he curled himself around Aaron’s body. It had been much too long since he had shared a bed with someone. He wanted to commit it to memory. _Going soft in your old age, Sugden_ , he told himself. But after being married for a few years, he had gotten used to having someone always in his bed with him. Even when his ex was being… distant, Robert had always enjoyed having a warm body next to him. 

He shook himself free of thoughts of his ex-wife. He had a gorgeous man in bed with him; a man that he had spent half the night having some of the best sex of his life with. He wasn’t going to tarnish that with memories of her. Instead, he looked at Aaron: watched the sunlight play with the shadows on his face, watched the man’s eyelids twitch in sleep, and listened to the little gushes of breath pushed out of his parted lips. It took every bit of self-control not to kiss those lips, not to push Aaron onto his back and kiss him senseless, the way Aaron had done to him last night—half an hour into a good sleep, he had felt hands on his chest, and lips on his neck and, as tired as he was, he’d been powerless to resist Aaron.

He drifted off again to the sound of faraway traffic on the road, and Aarons’ breath in his ear.

****

He woke again to the feel of something warm and wet on his nipple. He groaned, knowing instantly what was going on, and carded his fingers through Aaron’s hair. 

‘Morning,’ he grunted.

‘Afternoon,’ was the reply.

That made Robert’s eyes fly open. ‘What?’

Aaron raised his head. ‘Well, just barely.’ He checked his own phone on the bedside cabinet (he must have got up earlier to get it). ’12.04.’

Robert ran his fingers up and down Aaron’s back. ‘I promised you French toast for breakfast.’

‘Never mind, you can make it for lunch.’ He smirked. ‘Or I could have something else for lunch?’

‘Insatiable boy,’ Robert snorted. 

That made Aaron grin. ‘Can’t keep up, old man?’

That comment resulted in them being another 15 minutes late for an already late breakfast. But at least they’d worked up an appetite. Robert pulled a chair out for Aaron to sit on whilst he went about making their lunch.

He felt Aaron’s eyes on him as he buzzed around the kitchen, getting everything together that he needed for his lover’s desired French toast. ‘You really enjoy cooking, don’t you?’ 

The comment made him freeze for a second. ‘Yeah, I do.’ He cleared his throat. It was more than that though, and he toyed with the idea of maybe… maybe telling Aaron about… well, not everything perhaps. But _this_ maybe. He remembered being hurt by others in the past but Aaron wasn’t anything like them. Could he trust Aaron? He looked up and saw the younger man watching him with an expression of peace and no small amount of adoration on his face. 

But… no. It was too soon. They’d only known each other a short while (shorter, if he excluded the weeks that he spent avoiding Aaron), and this was only the second night they had spent together. There were some things he had to keep to himself for a while longer, and this was one of them. Didn’t mean he couldn’t broach another subject that had been on his mind, though.

‘I enjoy cooking for my partners,’ he said with deliberation. He looked up from soaking the slices of bread in the milk mixture to gauge Aaron’s reaction.

The young man looked a little shocked, but not negative about the idea. Aaron bit his lip. ‘Is that what we are then?’ he asked. ‘Partners?’

‘I know that’s what I’d like,’ Robert said honestly. 

Aaron nodded. ‘Me too.’ 

‘Good.’ He and Aaron smiled at each other, and Robert felt like a kid who asked his crush to be his boyfriend. Aaron made him feel young; made him feel wanted and desired. Maybe… ‘I like the idea of being able to provide,’ he said. ‘Like stuff like this,’ he gestured at the bread. ‘I like knowing that I can cook for you.’

Aaron frowned, but it wasn’t in disgust, but in confusion. ‘Like… as in you _really_ like it?’

Robert felt his walls start to go up. ‘Is that too weird?’

‘No,’ Aaron answered. Robert knew he was thinking it through though. ‘Why, uh… why does that excite you? It’s—’ his back suddenly stiffened. ‘It’s not about, like, _havin’ control_ , is it?’

‘No, nothing like that,’ Robert hastened to reassure him. ‘I just like being able to take care of you.’

‘I’m not a child,’ Aaron said.

‘No, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I just—’ He scratched at his forehead and sighed. ‘This was stupid, I shouldn’t have said anything.’

The chair scraped on the floor as Aaron got to his feet and walked over to Robert. ‘No, I want to understand. You just what?’

Robert looked into his eyes, and saw only curiosity there. ‘I like knowing I can _provide_ for you.’

‘Okay. So that’s why you like payin’ for meals and that?’

‘Yeah, that’s part of it,’ Robert nodded. ‘But it’s more than that. It’s not about… trying to buy you or anythin’, it’s about…’ he laughed self-deprecatingly. ‘I don’t know how to explain it.’

‘Is it, like, a sexual thing as well?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘I mean… do you get, like, _excited_ about it?’

Robert looked away. ‘That makes me sound like a pervert.’

‘No, it doesn’t. We all have… quirks, right?’

The understanding in his tone made Robert smile. Aaron stood on tiptoes to kiss Robert, who wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist and drew him closer, deepening the kiss in the process. Robert leant his forehead against Aaron’s. Even though he may not understand all of it, Aaron was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt and that meant a lot to Robert. 

‘I’d better get these in the pan,’ he said. ‘Or we won’t be eating ‘till teatime.’ Aaron chuckled and moved back, allowing Robert to get back to the French toast. 

Ten minutes later, they were both sat at the table, plates in front of them. ‘I don’t know if it’ll be as good as the stuff in France,’ Robert said, ‘but hopefully you’ll enjoy it anyway.’

Aaron nodded. He moaned in surprise when he put the first forkful in his mouth. ‘Oh wow, this is delicious.’

‘Really? You’re not just sayin’ that?’

‘What kinda person do you think I am?’ Aaron said with a chuckle. ‘Seriously, these are good.’

Robert watched him polish off the rest of the toast in his plate, his own lying forgotten in front of him. He felt himself getting more and more turned on by every bite that Aaron took; with every pleased sound that passed his lips. As soon as he had swallowed the last bite and put his fork and knife on the plate, Robert couldn’t resist leaning over and kissing him hard. 

He tasted golden syrup and cinnamon on Aaron’s tongue and moaned in his throat. Aaron pulled at Robert’s gown and attempted to push it off his shoulders, his hands frantic. Robert stood and pushed the plates to one side of the table. He lifted Aaron by the back of the thighs and put him on the table. He leant in for another kiss, this one less harsh and more tender than the first.

One of Aaron’s hands pushed at Robert’s gown again, whilst the other gripped Robert through his boxers. They shoved their underwear down, Robert pulled Aaron to the edge of the table and he gripped them both in his one large hand. Aaron threw his head back in pleasure, breath hissing through his teeth. Robert mouthed at Aaron’s neck, before biting it. 

‘Fuck,’ Aaron gasped. ‘Do that again.’ Robert did, and Aaron’s hips lifted off the table. ‘Shit, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come.’

Robert kissed him again; his hand moved faster, gripping a little more on each upward twist. ‘Come on, Baby.’

He didn’t know if it was the twist of his hand or the term of endearment that did it, but Aaron shot his load over Robert’s gown, his hips lifting off the table. One hand was gripping the table top, the other held onto Robert’s shoulder. Robert used the lubrication to speed up his movement. Aaron whimpered into his mouth, his cock oversensitive, but Robert didn’t let up. He moved his kisses to Robert’s jaw, and down even further until he was bending his head awkwardly. His teeth latched onto Robert’s collar, and it made Robert stiffen, freeze, and come over his hand.

He stood at the table, keeping Aaron there for a while longer, whilst they nudged their noses together, their mouths meeting on every other breath. 

Robert’s hands moved up and down Aaron’s back, clenching fistfuls of the shirt Aaron was wearing (one of Robert’s own t-shirts) each time his cock twitched. Aaron pecked his lips. He skimmed his foot up Robert’s calf, making the man shiver and smile. 

‘You called me “Baby”,’ Aaron said quietly.

Robert kissed him gently on the lips. ‘I did.’

Aaron smirked. ‘Never had a pet name before,’ he said. 

‘Am I the best boyfriend you’ve had or what?’ Robert said jokingly. They both laughed, their breaths mingling between their mouths. 

‘You’re definitely not the worst,’ Aaron said.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much for your comments, kudos and general support for this story! It means the absolute world to me! Once again, apologies for the wait (extra apologies to Erica, whom I told at least a month ago that I was working on the next chapter! Thanks for the patience, babe!)
> 
> Another long chapter, and Liv is here!

Aaron smiled in thanks when Robert gave him a cup of tea and sat next to him on the sofa.

‘So,’ he said, turning his body towards him. ‘Tell me more about this… providing thing you have. Like, does making tea… is that something you _like_?’

Robert had started to smile a little, but then it faded. ‘Are you mocking me?’

‘No! Of course not!’ Aaron put his tea on the coffee table. ‘I just… I want to understand.’ Robert looked down into his mug. Aaron bit his lip. This wasn’t how he wanted the rest of their day to go. He’d have to go back to the village soon probably, and he didn’t want things to end like this. ‘This is a part of you, and I want to know it,’ he said.

Robert sighed. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just a bit of a sensitive subject.’

‘Right. So, shut up Aaron, yeah?’

The older man chuckled and kissed Aaron’s cheek. ‘So give me a little time.’

‘What’s with you and time? Is it because you’re so old?’

‘Low blow, Dingle,’ Robert said. There was no sting in it. He slid his hand up Aaron’s thigh. ‘I’ve just fucked you in the bath, Aaron. Can we have a nice, _slow_ afternoon in front of the telly?’

Aaron rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he picked his mug up again and took a sip. Robert had put the television on, but it soon became apparent that he had no interest whatsoever in an Eastenders omnibus when he leant over and started biting and sucking at Aaron’s earlobe.

Aaron bit the inside of his cheek to stop a grin. ‘This is a slow afternoon, is it?’

‘Well, no clothes have come off yet,’ Robert mumbled around Aaron’s ear. He put their mugs on the coffee table and pushed Aaron down on the sofa.

‘And _I’m_ the insatiable one?’ Aaron laughed. He opened his mouth to Robert’s prying tongue though, tasting tea and under that a hint of toothpaste which was needed after their shenanigans in the bathroom. He’d got his hand under Robert’s shirt when he felt a vibrating in his jeans.

They jerked away from each other and frowned. ‘What—my phone!’ Aaron pushed Robert off him and pulled his mobile out of his pocket. ‘Mum. Y’alright?’

‘Hiya, love. Just wonderin’ how you were.’

Aaron gave Robert a look and shook his head at his mother. ‘Fine, thanks. I’m, um,’ he scratched his forehead. ‘I’m kinda busy.’

‘I won’t keep you, love. Just wanted you to know that Liv called. She’s gonna be here tomorrow for a few days.’

‘Is she alright?’

‘Her Mum’s in hospital. Nothing to worry about, but thought you’d best know so you can come back tomorrow.’

‘Okay. Yeah, I’ll be back tonight. See you later.’

‘Everything alright?’ Robert asked when he’d hung up.

‘Hm? Yeah, my little sister is coming to visit for a few days.’

‘That’s… good, right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay. Only, you might want to tell your face that, then.’

Aaron frowned, but shook his head and nudged Robert playfully. ‘Her Mum’s not well, apparently.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry.’

He shrugged. ‘Means I get my sister for a few days.’

Robert kissed his cheek. ‘When d’you want me to take you home then?’

Aaron checked his phone for the time. It was still relatively early. He bit his lip and pushed Robert back onto the sofa. ‘Not yet, eh?’ 

****

‘So speaking of sisters,’ Aaron said in the car on the way back (a few hours and a shower later).

‘Were we?’ Robert grinned.

‘Is your sister really Victoria Sugden?’ The car jerked as Robert accidentally hit his foot on the brake. ‘Jesus, Robert!’

‘Sorry!’ He looked in the rear view mirror, but luckily no one was following too closely behind them. ‘Victoria?’

‘Yeah. But I think your reaction speaks for itself.’

Robert breathed out slowly. ‘Yes, she’s my sister. How do you know her?’

‘I was friends with her,’ Aaron answered. ‘So, why didn’t you tell me? And why doesn’t she talk about you?’

A look of something like hurt passed over Robert’s face. ‘She doesn’t—’ He cleared his throat. ‘It’s complicated.’

‘Surprise,’ Aaron grunted. 

‘What, and you’ve told me everything about yourself, have you?’

‘You know the… most important things.’

‘And you know the important things about me.’ He flinched at his own words. ‘Not that Vic isn’t important to me, of course she is, but… it’s complicated.’

‘Okay.’

‘Okay?’

‘Yeah. I mean, you clearly have things to hide. That’s okay. I’ll find out eventually.’

Robert smiled. ‘You’re gonna stick around to find out, are you?’

Aaron shrugged noncommittally, but there was a smile on his own face. ‘Thought I might as well.’ 

There was a comfortable silence in the car for a while. Robert kept his eyes on the road, and Aaron was happy enough alternating between watching the passing scenery and watching Robert’s reflection in the window.

‘I was wondering,’ Robert said slowly. The hesitation in his voice drew Aaron’s eyes and attention. ‘Could I take you shopping for a suit for my birthday?’

Aaron frowned. ‘What’s wrong with the stuff that I usually wear?’

His boyfriend threw him a look somewhere between disgusted and incredulous. Aaron smirked. ‘Nothing,’ Robert responded. ‘For slobbing about watching Top Gear reruns.’

‘I wear my Sunday best for Top Gear, actually.’

Robert chuckled. 

‘So this party of yours is gonna be a posh do, is it?’

‘I wouldn’t say posh—’

‘But you wouldn’t say casual either?’

Aaron nibbled on his bottom lip. ‘Hey,’ Robert said, ‘you’ll be fine.’

‘Right. Which is why you want to buy me a _suit_.’

‘Don’t be like that!’

‘I’m not bein’ like _anything_. I’m just stating a fact.’

‘That fact _being_ that I’d like to take my boyfriend shopping.’

‘No, the fact _being_ that you think your boyfriend is too scruffy for your little _soirée_.’ Aaron shook his head and sat back in the seat, his gaze firmly focused out the window. 

Robert sighed. ‘Would it help if I told you that the idea of shopping for clothes with you… _for_ you is _really_ appealing to me?’

It got Aaron’s attention. He looked at the older man, looking him up and down with renewed interest. His bottom lip was back between his teeth again, and Robert visibly shivered. ‘You really need to stop doing that,’ he said idly.

‘When I know it gets a rise out of you? No chance!’ Aaron smiled. ‘So… shopping for clothes for me then. That’s one of your… kinks as well?’

Robert’s nose scrunched attractively. ‘Even “kink” makes it sound like something to be ashamed of.’

‘No it doesn’t,’ Aaron said quickly. ‘It’s nothin’ to be ashamed of.’ Robert smiled in a way that told Aaron that he didn’t believe him, but he nodded all the same. 

‘Well, whatever you want to call it,’ Robert said. ‘Yes, that’s part of it as well.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Good to know.’

‘I like the thought of you walking around, wearing clothes that I can _provide_ for you,’ he said. ‘It’s not a control thing, I swear,’ he hastened to add when he saw a small crease between Aaron’s brows. ‘It’s a… ‘Look what I can do for my boyfriend’ thing.’

Aaron looked at the passing scenery, considering everything. ‘I guess I can live with that.’

****

They parked up just outside the village again, Aaron once more pleading the case that he didn’t want his Mum to give Robert the third degree. It was just as well because an innocent goodbye kiss turned into a bit of a hot and heavy make out session. Robert had Aaron pressed against the window and was sucking a bruise into Aaron’s heated neck, when they heard a knock on the glass.

The men jumped apart. Aaron’s eyes widened then narrowed in one move when he saw his best friend laughing his head off outside the car.

‘I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you, Adam!’ he yelled, running down the window.

‘Well what would you prefer, mate? Me catchin’ you, or the police? Or even worse, Cain?’ But his friend looked completely tickled by the idea of Aaron’s uncle catching his nephew about to go at it in a car in a lay-by.

Robert cleared his throat, and Aaron blinked. ‘Oh, uh… well, we’re all here so I guess.’ He scratched the back of his neck in a way that showed how awkward he found the situation he was in. ‘Adam, Rob; Rob, Adam.’ He waved his hand about and blushed a deep red. 

Adam grinned and shook Robert’s hand which he had to stretch out of the window. The movement of Robert shuffling close to him caused Aaron to feel the semi that his boyfriend was sporting, and he gave him an incredulous look. Robert just smiled sweetly.

‘So you still keepin’ him a dirty little secret, eh?’ Adam was saying. ‘Don’t blame you mate, Chas is gonna be out for _blood_ when she meets ‘im.’

‘Get rid of him,’ Robert whispered against Aaron’s skin. He pressed against the younger man again, as if he needed the incentive.

‘Want me to walk you back, lad?’

Aaron licked his lips nervously, and then turned to Adam. ‘No, um… actually, I’m just gonna…’

‘Oh, I get it. So much for bros before…’

‘Be careful how you finish that,’ Robert said.

Adam smirked. ‘I’ll see you in the pub, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

He left and Aaron ran the window up again, letting out a sigh of utter relief. ‘Sorry,’ he said.

‘It’s okay. He seems alright.’ Robert leaned over the gearstick again and planted a line of kisses down Aaron’s jaw and neck.

Aaron shifted away. ‘He was right though, wasn’t he? Could’ve been anyone.’

‘You’re catching responsibility now, are you?’ Robert teased.

‘Hey, you’re supposed to be the older one here.’

They smiled at each other and leaned in together for one last kiss. ‘I should go,’ Aaron said. Robert nodded. ‘Call me, yeah? Or text or whatever.’

‘You know I will,’ Robert chuckled. ‘We need to talk about when I’m taking you shopping.’

‘Mm. Let me know. I’ll make sure Mum can look after Liv for a couple hours.’

Robert grinned, all teeth and mischief. ‘I’m looking forward to it.’ He kissed Aaron again. Aaron felt his boyfriend’s heated gaze on him as he opened the door and even as he walked down the road. He turned back once, and raised his hand in a single wave good-bye. It was returned, along with another of Robert’s wide grins. 

****

‘For god’s sake, Adam!’

‘Sorry, mate!’ But Adam looked anything but sorry. The big smile was still on his face, and he nudged Aaron as they entered the back room of the pub. What with it being a bit late in the afternoon, he knew a rush would be on, and there was no better way to both get Chas’s attention and cause a scene than by being in the pub during a rush.

He grabbed two cans out of the fridge and handed one to Adam, who was already making himself comfortable on the sofa. ‘It could’ve been anyone though, mate,’ he said a bit more seriously. ‘You’ve been sayin’ yourself how you don’t want your Mum to know too soon.’

‘Yeah I know. We just got… carried away.’ He blushed againand sipped his beer to cool down his heated face. 

Adam nudged him again. ‘So… last night was good was it?’

‘You have no idea!’ Aaron grinned.

‘Yeah, you can keep the details to yourself, lad!’ but he was grinning and laughing all the same. ‘So when’re you seein’ him again?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Some time this week hopefully. And I’m—’ he looked behind him just in case anyone was lurking by the doorway. ‘I’m going to his birthday party at the end of the month.’

‘No way! It sounds serious.’

‘It’s just a party.’

‘Yeah, but for the age he is and that. Plus, his friends are gonna be there.’

Aaron felt a sudden feeling of anxiety overcome him. He had thought about the fact that Robert’s friends would be there of course, but he had been too starstruck by Robert to give it too much time to grab hold and take root. He’d have to meet new people, and make conversation with those new people.

‘Aaron? I haven’t freaked you out, have I?’

‘Hm? No, no,’ he lied. 

‘It’ll be fine. Robert’s gonna be there, and he seems really into you. He’s not gonna leave you on your own.’

‘What if I embarrass him? What if he… y’know… turns on me or somethin’?’

Adam moved closer and slung his arm around Aaron’s shoulder. ‘Aaron, Tom was a prick. Alright? He was a one in a thousand loser. There’s no way Robert’s like that.’

‘You don’t even know ‘im,’ Aaron protested. 

‘No, but… c’mon what are the chances of you runnin’ into another cock like Tom, eh?’ 

Aaron nodded. He had to believe it was true.

****

On Sunday, Liv arrived. His little sister was calmer, seemed a bit more grounded than she did even just months ago over Christmas. Aaron remembered when he first met her after years apart, she was always getting into trouble, always starting arguments; there always seemed to be something wrong. Now though, she was still the same mischievous Liv, but something in her demeanour had changed.

‘How’s your Mum?’ Aaron asked. They were sat around the dining room table, the two of them and Chas. Chas had asked Marlon to make some cakes and scones for Liv’s arrival, knowing how much she ate. 

Liv shrugged. ‘She’s okay. I went to the hospital with her; she seems better. My uncle dropped me off at the airport though.’

‘So how long are you stayin’ here?’

‘Why? Desperate to get rid of me?’ She said it with a wide grin on her face though, so Aaron knew that she didn’t mean anything by it. He poked her side gently.

‘You know I didn’t mean that. Just wanted to know how long I have my little sis for.’

‘Mum’s gonna call me when she’s out of hospital. But she said a week at the most is all I can get away with.’

‘What are you doing about school?’ Chas asked.

Liv took another slice of Victoria sponge. ‘I got some work from my teachers to do over the week. Mum asked for it for me.’ She rolled her eyes and Aaron grinned. She had always hated school.

‘We can go over it together during the week when I get home from work,’ he offered. ‘At least then we still get to spend time together.’

She nodded and smiled. ‘Sounds good.’

When his sister migrated to the sofa with another plate of scones and jam, Chas poked Aaron’s arm, and nodded to the door. ‘Aaron’s just gonna help me in the pub, love,’ she said to Liv. ‘Won’t be a sec.’ 

Aaron frowned, wondering what his mother wanted. She never usually asked for his help, especially on a Sunday when the pub was pretty dead. ‘What’s up?’ he asked as soon as they were behind the bar. He was right: there were a few regulars in, and Rodney and Jimmy were stood by the bar as well, drinks in hand.

Chas cleared her throat. ‘I was gonna ask you the same thing.’

‘You’ve lost me.’

‘You, offerin’ to help Liv with her homework.’ She was smiling, but Aaron could see the curiosity in her eyes. ‘You hated school when you were younger, and as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never wanted to do your own homework, let alone help with someone else’s.’

Aaron sighed and rubbed at his suddenly throbbing temples. ‘Seriously? You’re asking me why I want to help my little sister with her homework?’

‘Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s sweet, but it’s not very _you_ is it?’

‘You have a go when I’m in a strop, and you have a go when I’m okay, what d’you want from me?’

‘Oi, calm down, I was just messin’!’

‘Yeah, well get off my back, Mum!’

‘Is everything alright?’ Rodney asked tentatively. He was looking between Aaron and Chas, but Aaron knew that he would jump to Chas’s defence in a heartbeat no matter what. 

‘You can mind your own as well!’ 

‘Aaron!’ Chas snapped.

‘Forget it, alright. Just… forget it.’

He went upstairs to calm down, knowing that he couldn’t dump himself on the sofa, not when Liv would immediately ask him questions as well. Sandra had probably told her enough horror stories about him already without Aaron adding to them himself. He paced his room for a moment but it didn’t help. So he put his phone in the speaker dock, switched on his music and turned it up _loud_. 

Aaron kicked his dresser, laid into it, letting out all his anger and frustration. He only stopped when his foot ached, and then he had to control the urge to throw the few bottles of aftershave he owned onto the floor. He opened the window and only realised tears were running down his cheeks when they started to dry on his face. 

He sat heavily on his bed and bit his lip. Why could he do nothing right? Why did his Mum always have to question him, and make him feel this way? Then he felt terrible for thinking that, because if anything, his Mum was one of the only people who had stood up for him: her and Paddy were his constants. But right now, he shook with anger. His foot throbbed in pain and he hoped he hadn’t made it bleed or bruise. 

His phone pinged then, with a message. He took his phone off the dock, and the room was drowned in silence. It was Robert. He had had a message from him yesterday, letting Aaron know he was back home after dropping Aaron off in the village. The two of them had shared a few jokes about Adam catching them, and it felt good to laugh about it. His worries about Robert turning on him dissolved when they talked.

_R: Hey. Is your sister with you yet?_

Aaron’s breath shuddered in his chest. His thumb hovered over the ‘call’ button, and before he could think about it too long, he had pressed it. The phone rang twice before Robert picked up.

‘Hiya. Is your sister not there?’

‘Yeah, downstairs. I just came up here to fetch something,’ he looked at the state of his dresser: things had fallen down or off it after he gave it a kicking. ‘Thought I’d call you.’

‘Okay,’ he could hear the smile in Robert’s voice, and Aaron felt himself calm; felt his breath start to even out. ‘You sure you’re okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m okay.’ And he meant it. ‘So, when d’you wanna go shopping?’

Robert laughed over the phone. ‘You’re still up for it then?’

‘’Course.’ He settled back on his bed, his head at the foot of it, and his feet resting on his pillow. ‘If you are, I mean.’

‘You know I am.’ The tone of his voice made Aaron’s face flush with heat. ‘I could get a half day on Wednesday. We’re always quiet Wednesday afternoons.’

‘Okay.’

‘You’re sure you’re okay with it still? The suit and the party?’

‘Yeah. I mean, I’m feeling a bit… nervous about meetin’ your friends but it’ll be fine. Just don’t, like, abandon me or anythin’.’ He breathed a laugh. ‘Or expect me suddenly to turn into someone from that Downton Abbey.’

Robert snorted a laugh. ‘You watch Downton?’

‘No, don’t be soft! Mum watches it.’

‘Oh yeah? And you’re never tempted by it?’

Aaron grinned. ‘Nope. Even with all those men in suits around.’ He could practically hear Robert’s grin as well. 

‘I guess it’s good to know I don’t have competition.’

‘Who said anythin’ about not havin’ competition. I watch _Luther_ you know.’

‘How can I compete with Idris Elba, eh?’

‘You can’t, mate. Don’t even try.’ They chuckled together. It never ceased to amaze Aaron how easy Robert was to talk to. ‘So, what are you up to?’

Robert sighed. ‘Nothin’ exciting. Just looking over some contracts for tomorrow. Refining them, making sure everything’s okay.’

‘Sounds like a blast.’ He smiled. ‘Hey, what do you want for your birthday? I asked before, but you never answered.’

His boyfriend chuckled. ‘You caught me off guard before. I don’t want anythin’ from you, Aaron. Just spending time with you on my birthday will be enough.’

‘Yeah, but it’s your _fortieth_. You’ve gotta want something? Something you’ve always wished for?’

‘I can’t think of anything. Seriously, you at my party will be enough.’ He was quiet for a moment. ‘Wish you were still here with me today, though.’

Aaron closed his eyes. ‘Me too. My Mum’s been pissin’ me off.’

‘Why?’

He gave a long, drawn-out sigh. ‘Just… on my case about stuff that’s all.’

‘She cares about you.’

‘Yeah sometimes a bit too much.’ He heard a creaking from outside, the sound of floorboards under the feet of someone who was trying to be quiet. He frowned in anger, wrenched himself from the bed, and threw open the door, ready to question why his mother was listening in on him. But instead of his mother, Liv was standing there; all big, curious eyes, and questions on her lips. ‘Robert, I’ll call you back later, yeah?’ He hung up after hearing his boyfriend say goodbye. ‘How much did you hear?’


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with this story, and for your kudos and kind comments. I say it each time, but it means a lot to me!
> 
> NB: I can’t remember if I mentioned dates or anything of when this is now supposed to be. I may have messed with them a little bit, just to move plot and time along, so if I have mentioned it, then I apologise! Take it as read that we are on Sunday 16th April, Wednesday (when they go suit shopping) will be 19th, and they’ll be all ready in time for the party on 22nd (Saturday). (Little reminder that in this 'verse, Gordon didn't abuse Aaron)

‘What did you hear?’ Aaron asked again, after he had dragged Liv into his room.

She sat on the bed and shrugged. ‘Just that you were talkin’ about someone’s fortieth. A friend?’

Aaron bit his lip. He could lie to her; tell her that, yes, the person was just a friend. But really, he couldn’t lie to his sister – he wasn’t good at it. Plus, she could overtalk herself and tell his Mum about what she had heard, mention about the party, and then Chas would know as well and probably put two and two together. Eventually Aaron was going to introduce Robert to his family, but he’d prefer it to be on his own terms, not sprung on him.

He sighed and sat on the bed, next to her. ‘It was my boyfriend,’ he said, and even among all of the anxiety, he found it felt good to call Robert his boyfriend.

Liv’s eyes widened, even as they sparkled in mischief. ‘You’re dating an OAP?’ she teased.

He let out a laugh of relief. ‘Oi! He’s not that old!’

‘Old enough!’ she grinned. ‘So, why did you freak out then?’

‘Because… my Mum doesn’t know yet. I mean, she knows that I’m seein’ someone, but she doesn’t know how old he is.’

His sister frowned. ‘Why is it her business? I mean, it’s your life.’

‘Yeah, well… after everything that we’ve been through… I find it easier to keep stuff like this from her.’

‘That’s stupid,’ Liv said. Aaron raised his eyebrows and she shrugged. ‘She should be happy for you. You sounded happy on the phone.’

‘I am happy. But she still feels overprotective. I just… he’s older than her! I don’t want her to get the wrong idea about us.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Like… I don’t want her to think he’s just using me for… y’know, for… that.’ He blushed. It was stupid that he felt weird talking to his teenage sister about sex, but he did. Liv, to her credit, just made a face and pushed his arm. ‘Plus, if things go wrong between us, she’ll just jump to conclusions and it’s not worth the aggro, after everything I put her through with Tom. So? Can I trust you not to blurt it out?’

She nodded. ‘I still think it’s stupid,’ she said. ‘But, yeah, if it’ll make your life easier.’ She pat him on the hand. ‘Coming downstairs? There’s a guy on TV with a ten stone testicle.’

He frowned and made his default _‘really?!’_ face; the one that she picked up from him last time she was here. ‘I wonder about your taste sometimes, you know.’ But he was already rising from the bed, grabbing his phone and following her downstairs.

‘Could say the same to you,’ she said cheekily. She nudged him playfully in the stomach, and he grinned. It felt good to have someone else as something of an ally.

****

Robert was sure that everyone in the office had clocked his good mood by now. As soon as he had walked down the aisle to his desk, Clive had grinned at him, risen from his own desk, and perched himself on top of Robert’s, whilst he started his computer up.

‘You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth,’ he said, grinning.

Robert couldn’t stop the blush on his cheeks, but he also knew that the smile got a lot wider when Clive nudged him playfully with his knee. ‘Yes, thanks for your input, Clive.’

‘Did you get your input?’ He nudged and winked at Robert like something out of a Carry On film, and Robert rolled his eyes but the grin didn’t falter.

‘You are crude and disgusting, and I don’t know why you’re my friend.’ He sat back and folded his arms when Clive asked him, seriously, how it went. ‘Yeah, it was a really good weekend. I feel… I dunno, I feel like I can trust him y’know? And after everything with my ex, it feels good to have that.’

‘You’ll be telling Wendy to buy a hat soon,’ Clive teased. ‘I’m joking, mate. I’m really pleased for you. Really.’ Robert nodded. He had disappeared into the recesses of his mind again, imagining a life with Aaron. Clive had disappeared back to his own desk, and someone placed a mug of coffee in front of him. He nodded absentmindedly in thanks, but Robert was still elsewhere. Was he in too deep too soon?

His phone vibrated with a message. _A: I’m at work and bored. Talk to me_

Robert smiled and immediately typed a message back, telling him about the dog that had kept him up barking all night, and the break-in at the supermarket a few streets away from him, and that he had been coerced into bringing doughnuts into work on Friday as a birthday celebration for his workmates, until Aaron told him on no uncertain terms that he was a boring old man but followed it up with a winking smiley. 

_R: Well you asked!_

_A: That wasn’t what I meant and you know it_

_R: I can hardly sext you at work, Baby_

_A: Why not? I’ll start. I could blow you under the table_

Robert chuckled and shook his head.

_R: Stop it. I’m working_

_A: Fine. A fit guy just rocked up in a Ferrari. I’ll see if he’ll make me less bored ;)_

_R: Keep your hands to yourself, you!_

_A: Not my hands you need to worry about!_

_R: They call this emotional blackmail you know_

_A: They call it my boyfriend’s being boring and prefers to do work at work. I mean, what’s that all about? You like your job or something?_

_R: It kinda pays my bills. Not all of us can live with our mothers_

There was silence for a while, and Robert took it to mean that Aaron had got a customer in the garage. But when a few hours had passed and no word from his boyfriend, he started to worry.

_R: Aaron? You still busy?_

Nothing again for half an hour, and whilst Robert managed to get his tasks for the morning done, his mind was half on his boyfriend as well. 

_R: Hey. I didn’t mean anything by it you know. Just a joke_

It was another ten minutes before Aaron answered.

_A: Yeah I know. Sorry_

_R: We okay?_

_A: Yeah. What you doing for lunch?_

_R: Meeting a friend. Why? How’s your sister by the way?_

_A: It’s fine, it can wait :) She’s good thanks. Already got through two loaves of bread since she’s been here though!_

_R: Haha! Little gannet!_

_A: Yeah tell me about it. Nah she’s a good kid though_

_R: I’m sure she is. Did you want to talk at lunch or something?_

_A: No, it can wait. I’ll call you this afternoon_

_R: Okay. Did you manage to sort that guy’s Ferrari out?_

_A: Huh?... Oh yeah! Yeah, no he wasn’t that good looking. Must’ve been the tinted windows_

_R: That must’ve been it ;) Gotta go, Baby. Call me later yeah?_

_A: Yeah. Later_

He managed another hour and a half of solid work, his mind a lot more at rest after making sure Aaron was okay. He knew that there was something that Aaron wasn’t telling him: something which made him sensitive to certain comments or certain signs of wanting to take control, but Robert wasn’t about to push him to bare all about it. Like Aaron and Robert’s own… issues, quirks and kinks, Robert was willing to wait until Aaron told him off his own back. 

The weekend kept flashing through his mind throughout the morning, just little memories of the two days that they had spent together. Even sex aside – although it was fucking amazing sex – it was one of the best weekends Robert had had in a while. He couldn’t wait to show Aaron off to his friends (he knew better than to phrase it that way in front of his boyfriend, of course), show them this young man that had injected some sense of meaning back into Robert’s life. He got another text, and was half expecting Aaron again, but it was Wendy.

_W: Clive tells me you’ve been grinning all morning_

He looked up and caught his friend’s gaze. Clive smiled innocently. 

_R: Clive’s a little bitch. We’re still on for lunch, yeah?_

_W: Of course! I wouldn’t miss the gossip for anything_

_R: You’re a great friend. See you soon_

****

‘Wow! Clive wasn’t kidding, was he?’ 

Robert put the coffees on the table and rolled his eyes. ‘I’m barely even smiling!’

‘No, but you’ve got this… glow about you.’

‘I thought only pregnant women got that glow?’

‘Apparently men who got some all weekend do as well.’

She chuckled and Robert shook his head. ‘How was your weekend?’

Wendy took a sip of her drink, then waved her hand, as if waving off his question. ‘Same old: I cooked. Clive didn’t. He watched telly, I saw a new chaffinch in the garden. But tell me about _your_ weekend.’

He laughed. ‘A new chaffinch, huh? Living the life, aren’t you?’ He dodged the playful push she aimed at his arm. ‘My weekend was great. We… we just connect. I dunno. I know that it’s early days and all the rest of it, but I just feel that there’s something special there, you know?’

Wendy smiled and rubbed his forearm. ‘I’m so pleased for you, love. And Aaron? He feels the same?’

‘I think so. It feels different with him.’ He didn’t explain himself, and from the look in her eyes, he didn’t need to for his friend to understand what he meant. ‘I’m takin’ him shopping for a suit on Wednesday. For the party.’

Her eyebrows rose slowly. ‘Oh really?’

‘Yeah. Well, we were talking and,’ he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. ‘I told him about… y’know… about my _need_.’

Her mouth fell open a little. ‘Did you? And how did he take it?’

He nodded. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘Really well, actually. He wanted to talk about it, understand it more.’

She nodded and smiled. ‘That’s great.’ She sipped her coffee.

Robert frowned. ‘What?’ When she looked at him askance, he raised his eyebrows pointedly. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing! Just… just be careful. You know I worry about you.’

He nodded. ‘I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.’

‘Okay.’ She didn’t look sure, and Robert sighed. ‘You can’t blame me for worrying!’ she said.

‘No, I know I can’t. But you can trust me to look out for the signs, can’t you?’

She nodded and smiled again. ‘Yeah, I suppose I can.’ She rubbed his arm again. ‘I am happy for you, you know? I just—’

‘Worry about me, I know.’ But there was nothing scathing in his voice. To be honest, he liked his friends looking out for him. He hadn’t had that growing up, at least not after his mother died. His Dad was great, but he didn’t treat Robert the way he did his brother or sister; so it was comforting to have someone looking out for him. ‘Anyway, at the moment it’s going well. I’m just enjoying the first flushes.’

She grinned, a lot more sincere this time. ‘Yeah, until reality kicks in and you realise all their annoying little habits. It’ll happen, don’t worry.’

‘I’m hoping that we last long enough to discover his annoying little habits.’

**** 

Aaron caught the bus into Hotten on Wednesday, where he would meet Robert when he clocked off work. He had told Liv beforehand where he was going, so that if Chas asked, his sister would come up with some story to tell her. It was great having her on side: not only did she provide a distraction when Chas became too interested in whom Aaron’s boyfriend actually was, but their little secret had brought them closer over the past few days.

Now, when they sat in front of the television or in the café with a cup of tea (milkshake for Liv), their conversation turned to things that Aaron could see wasn’t easy for Liv to talk about. She’d talk about their dad and how she got a birthday card from him last year, and about Sandra and how she was finding it difficult to cope. She talked about the boys at her school, and how some of them picked on her until a girl told them off on her behalf. They had always been close, but something about him opening up about Robert had destroyed the last of the barriers between them and they were able to talk about things a lot more comfortably now. 

When he had told her about Robert buying a suit for him, she’d laughed and said ‘You’ve become his Ken doll!’ For which she had received a light tug on her ponytail, but also got a laugh out of him as well. He told her about how he felt anxious about going to the party with all those new people, and she had nodded, and told him about the first day at her new school after her Mum had dragged her off to Ireland last year. ‘I thought it was gonna be bad, you know? ‘Cause I didn’t know anyone, and I thought that they wouldn’t understand the way I talked, or I wouldn’t make friends, or I wouldn’t understand the work. But when I got there, it was just… just normal. Like, it was still weird, and I still had to go lock myself in the toilets for ten minutes at lunchtime for the first few days, but I made friends with this group and they sorted me out.’ She shrugged as if it was no big deal to her now, but Aaron marvelled at his little sister’s strength of character. And even, though she was eating them out of house and home, he bought her a chocolate brownie and another milkshake.

He watched from the bus as the scenery changed, from green and yellow fields to buildings and tarmac, and rung the bell when he saw the street that Robert told him to stop at. He leaned against the wall of a shop, and had just got his phone out of his pocket for something to do, when his eye caught the familiar shape of someone sitting outside a café. Aaron’s blood ran cold and the breath stuttered in his chest.

Tom was facing away from him, but Aaron could tell the build of those shoulders, the way he swept his hair back from his forehead, the muscles in his arms. He heard the laugh, and immediately clenched his fists. Too many times he had heard that laugh. Heard it in the throes of a good joke, heard it when he whispered passionate things to Aaron, heard it turn sour and acidic and taunting. 

‘Aaron?’

He blinked and looked around. Robert was there, suited and booted and looking concerned. ‘Hey, you alright?’

With effort, Aaron dragged his mind away from the past. He was here, in Hotten, with his boyfriend. And he was well rid of Tom. He nodded and smiled. ‘Yeah. Fine. You okay?’

Robert obviously didn’t believe him, but he didn’t push it, for which Aaron was infinitely grateful. ‘Yeah. Ready to go?’ He put a hand on the small of Aaron’s back, guiding him gently to the shop he had already singled out for them. Aaron fought the urge to look over his shoulder, to make sure that Tom hadn’t spotted him. ‘Good day?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Was alright. Not much goin’ on, so Cain didn’t put up too much of a fuss about me leavin’ early.’ 

‘Good. ‘Cause I’ve been looking forward to this all day.’

Aaron chuckled. He instantly felt so much lighter in Robert’s presence, and he could feel the cold hand of anxiety loosen itself from around his stomach. ‘It’s just a suit.’

‘Yeah, but it’s _you_ in a suit. I’ve not had the privilege yet, have I?’ Robert’s hand wandered from Aaron’s back to his waist, holding him lightly. Aaron still stiffened at the touch nonetheless. ‘Is this okay?’ Robert said, ready to remove his arm.

‘Yeah, it’s fine.’ He smiled at Robert reassuringly. ‘New. But fine.’

The shop was definitely a lot more upmarket to where Aaron usually went for clothes. He felt extremely underdressed in his dark grey jeans and black t-shirt, especially with Robert next to him still in his work suit. But Robert smiled at him when they entered the shop, and Aaron felt himself unwind a little. He could do this. 

After twenty minutes, he had two shirts over his arm (one in white, one in navy blue), a navy blue blazer and trousers, and a blue tie. 

‘Tryin’ to tell me something with these colour choices?’ Aaron asked with a grin.

Robert shrugged. ‘I think blue will look good on you. Bring out your eyes.’ He nodded at the fitting rooms and made to follow him in.

‘Uh, what’re you doing?’ Aaron said.

‘Coming with you,’ Robert said. ‘You need a second opinion, don’t you?’

Aaron bit his lip and was about to tease him more, but the twinkle in Robert’s eye told him that he wouldn’t win either way. He looked over his boyfriend’s shoulder to make sure no one was watching them before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him into the room behind him. It was one of the bigger ones, with a chair in one corner and a mirror on the wall. Robert sat himself in the red chair, crossing his feet at the ankles, and training his eyes on Aaron.

‘You look like you’re gettin’ ready for a lap dance,’ Aaron told him.

Robert smirked and looked his boyfriend up and down flirtatiously. ‘Now there’s an idea.’

Aaron smiled and shook his head fondly at him. He unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his legs. Bending purposely slowly to retrieve them and fold them. He heard Robert shuffle on the chair, and looked at his reflection in the mirror, seeing his Adam’s apple bob with a heavy swallow. ‘Alright?’ he asked the older man. He got a nod in return. He pulled on the trousers and took his t-shirt off. This was done a bit more roughly, as he didn’t want to get into anything that they couldn’t continue right that minute. ‘Blue or white first?’ he asked.

‘Try the white first. I think the blue will be better, but let’s see.’

He shrugged on the white shirt and buttoned it up, tucking it into the trousers and doing them up as well. He turned around to face Robert. ‘So?’

‘Looks good,’ he said. Aaron reached for the tie, but Robert stopped him. ‘Actually, try the blue one with the tie and jacket. Got a feeling that’ll look even better.’

Without protest, Aaron unbuttoned the white shirt, shrugged it off and reached for the blue one, but it was taken out of his hands. ‘Robert?’ His boyfriend unbuttoned the shirt and didn’t once meet Aaron’s eye. Aaron put his hands over Robert’s. ‘Hey.’

Robert swallowed again and held the shirt up. ‘Can I?’ he asked. 

Aaron turned around and slid first one arm and then the next into the shirt that Robert was holding up for him. There was something so intimate about it, and even more so when Robert turned him around and buttoned the top two buttons for him after Aaron had done up the rest of them. Then Robert took the tie and slid it around his neck, tying it for him. His eyes were on his hands as they moved lithely, and Aaron’s eyes were on Robert’s face. Once done, Robert held the jacket up for Aaron as well to slip into. 

Fully dressed, Aaron stepped back so that Robert could see him properly. His lover’s breath caught in his throat. ‘God, Aaron. You look gorgeous.’ 

Aaron blushed and was about to protest his words, when he saw the noticeable bulge in Robert’s trousers. Robert looked down and his face became stricken. ‘Shit, I’m so sorry.’ He made to turn away, hiding himself, when Aaron stepped towards him.

‘No. It’s okay.’ He hoped that his understanding showed in his face and his eyes, because he didn’t want Robert to feel ashamed of himself. God knows Aaron knew what that felt like. He couldn’t stand the thought of Robert feeling the same. ‘It’s okay.’

Robert smiled tentatively. ‘Still… I didn’t expect to—’ He gestured down, and swallowed hard again, frowning and once again Aaron felt a jolt in his stomach at the thought of Robert being ashamed of this. He ran his hand down Robert’s chest, hoping that he could convey without words that it was okay. Robert nodded. ‘Thank you, for letting me… you know.’

‘I know.’

They smiled at each other, and Aaron reached on tiptoes to kiss him. He felt Robert’s arms wind around his waist and moaned low in his throat. When they parted, they nudged their noses together, and Aaron rested his forehead against Robert’s. ‘I’d love to carry on, but we can’t. Not here.’

Robert’s breath huffed against his still wet lips when he laughed under his breath. ‘I know.’ He pecked Aaron again softly on the lips and moved away from him. ‘You change again. I’ll wait for you outside.’ He looked down at the deflating bulge in his trousers. ‘Give it five minutes, actually.’

**** 

They decided between them that Robert would take the suit with him, to save any questions from Aaron’s Mum and Paddy. They jumped to conclusions when Aaron went out at all, let alone if he went out wearing a suit. 

Once again, Robert dropped Aaron off just outside the village. They kissed softly in the car, the passion from earlier having had the chance to dissipate having gone back to Robert’s house for an hour after buying the suit. Aaron got out of the car, with an assurance to Robert that he was looking forward to the party on Saturday and he realised for the first time that he actually meant it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all so so much for the kudos and the kind words of encouragement you've all been giving me for this story! 
> 
> This chapter I feel is a bit filler-y, but it's setting the scene for the party (and I know I promised that'd happen in the next chapter (this one), but Robert and Aaron seemed to have a lot to talk about! So the scenes carried on far longer than I had planned them to) and hopefully you all enjoy it regardless. I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter now (in which the party is actually happening!), so by next week I should have that one uploaded.
> 
> Happy reading!

Liv was still with them on Friday, and Aaron could not have been more pleased. She had deflected quite a bit of attention off him when his Mum got too interested in his life and, apart from that, she had been some excellent company. She and Adam also got on well, which was a load off Aaron’s mind as well. Well, it would have been, if they both hadn’t realised that they knew about Aaron’s secret boyfriend. And about his age. And about his approaching birthday. Because for the past half an hour they had done nothing but take the piss out of him when he casually asked what he should get for Robert’s birthday present.

‘A walking stick?’ Liv had suggested. Aaron had glared at her.

Adam laughed. ‘Nice one, Liv. But unoriginal! How about…’ he tapped his chin, in deep thought, ‘a piece of sandpaper? Call it a wrinkle remover.’ They both fell about laughing, and Aaron had to fight to keep the smile off his face, more from their infectious laughing rather than the suggestions they were making.

‘You’re both hilarious,’ he said drily. ‘Thanks for that. Just have to ask though: Liv, how long were you grounded for watching Deadpool, and Adam when was the last time you had sex?’ That shut them up and Aaron felt rather pleased with himself. ‘So, proper suggestions, please?’

His friend and sister still chuckled a little bit, but this time Adam actually said something sensible. ‘I don’t know, mate. What kinda stuff did you give Jackson and Ed when you were with them?’

It didn’t escape his notice that Adam didn’t ask about Tom, and for that Aaron was grateful. He was still feeling slightly off-kilter after seeing him on Wednesday. He hadn’t told anyone else about seeing Tom in Hotten, and he hoped that the feeling of dread would eventually fade away. He shrugged. ‘Perfume, shirts, that kinda stuff.’

‘So give him somethin’ like that, then,’ Liv said.

‘Ah, but this one’s loaded isn’t he, Aaron?’ Adam said, the teasing tone back in his voice. ‘It’d be like giving Scrooge McDuck a fiver for his birthday.’ 

Aaron shook his head. ‘You know, if you’re both gonna take the mick—’

‘Calm down!’ Adam laughed. ‘We’re just messin’ with you! Seriously, mate, whatever you get ‘im he’s gonna love it, isn’t he?’

Aaron bit his lip. ‘You reckon?’

Liv nodded. ‘Yeah, I bet you don’t have to get him anythin’, you just have to turn up at his party and he’d be happy.’

‘I guess. I just wanted to get him _something_.’

‘Make him breakfast in bed or something,’ Adam suggested. ‘A gesture instead of a present.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Maybe. Although he’s the cook.’ As soon as he said it, Aaron had a sudden revelation.

**** 

Robert woke on Saturday feeling a little anxious; a little nervous. He couldn’t really identify why until his mind cleared of sleep and he remembered the party. A small part of him feared that he’d get a text from Aaron at some point during the day saying that he had changed his mind: that he couldn’t come to the party. Robert wasn’t sure why it was so important to him that Aaron be there, only that it was. Maybe it was the thought of Aaron meeting his friends and work colleagues, of showing them that he’d moved on with his life, that he had found a young man that he was happy with. And Aaron did make him happy. 

His phone vibrated on his bedside cabinet, and Robert picked it up without even thinking about it.

_A: Happy birthday! Can’t wait to see you today_

The message made Robert smile. He typed a message back, thanking him and telling him he’d pick him up as soon as he was ready. Then, after saying their separate goodbyes in another couple of messages, Robert got up. There was a new spring in his step as he went downstairs and prepared his breakfast, and as he thought about the night ahead. He hadn’t asked Aaron if he wanted to stay over, but hopefully it was taken as read. He thought about the suit in his wardrobe, carefully pressed by him yesterday and hung up in its bag; he thought about Aaron wearing it, of stunning everyone with how gorgeous he looked. And he felt the warm feeling in his chest again with the thought that he was able to provide something like that for Aaron. 

**** 

Liv was leaving on Sunday. Aaron sat beside her on the sofa on Saturday morning after sending the happy birthday text to his boyfriend, and watched television with her. 

‘When are you gonna come back?’ he asked her, apropos of nothing.

Liv shrugged. ‘During the holidays, maybe. Not Easter, though: Mum said that we’re going to my auntie’s over Easter.’

‘Right.’ He brought his fingers to his lips, about to gnaw on his nails, but then put them back on his lap. He felt Liv’s eyes on him. ‘What?’

‘You gonna miss me?’ she teased.

He rolled his eyes. ‘What, your mess in the bathroom, and the loud music in your room all the time?’ She was grinning at him, and he felt tears in his eyes. He and his sister shared something special this week, he thought. After she found out about Robert, they became closer. He didn’t want to let go of her. ‘You sure you have to go?’ he asked, putting his cards on the table.

She nodded. ‘Wish I didn’t have to. I prefer it here. Don’t tell my Mum that though.’

‘I won’t,’ he chuckled. ‘I’m staying at Robert’s tonight, but I’ll be back before you go tomorrow.’

‘Okay. It’s fine if you’re not; I’m gonna see you again you know!’

‘Yeah, I know. But I wanna say goodbye properly, don’t I?’

‘Who’s saying goodbye?’ Chas asked, walking into the room. 

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘Liv, ‘cause she’s going back tomorrow.’

Chas deflated. ‘Oh, yeah. It’s been so nice havin’ you here, love,’ she said. ‘You’ve been great for Aaron.’

‘I’m right here!’ Aaron said. ‘And what’s that supposed to mean anyway?’

‘Nothing, love. Just… she’s good for you. She calms you down.’

Aaron and Liv looked at each other. Yes, a lot of his new calm nature was down to his little sister, but even more of it was due to Robert: ever since he and Robert had declared themselves boyfriends, Aaron had felt a sense of calm. Just the thought of Robert steadied his fraying nerves most days. He cleared his throat and walked into the kitchen area, where his Mum was preparing a cup of tea.

‘I forgot to tell you earlier,’ he said, ‘I’m goin’ out tonight. Won’t be back until tomorrow. But I’ll be back to take Liv to the airport.’

‘Where are you going?’ 

He sighed. ‘Just… to this party. I’m goin’ with Robert.’

She raised her eyebrows and nodded. ‘This mysterious Robert again, eh? I’m gonna have to meet him one of these days, you know.’

‘Yeah, one day.’

‘I mean, what’s so different about him that you don’t want me to meet him? Has he been in prison or something?’

‘No! Nothing like that! I just want to see where this is goin’ before I introduce him to you.’

‘Why? I just—’

‘Chas,’ Liv piped up. ‘That programme you’ve been wanting to watch is on.’ She turned the telly up so they could hear the theme tune. 

‘Right, thanks love.’ She turned back to Aaron. ‘I just want to make sure you’re okay; that _he’s_ okay.’

‘He is, and I am,’ he said. ‘Go watch your programme.’ As he passed the sofa on his way to the door, he smiled gratefully at Liv. 

**** 

With the Saturday mid-afternoon rush on, Aaron deemed it safe to ask Robert to come further into the village to pick him up. He waved a quick goodbye to his Mum, and disappeared out the door before she had a chance to call him back and give him another twenty questions.

He was waiting for ten minutes by the garage before Robert arrived, his silver Porsche glinting in the bright April sun. Aaron squinted against the glare and walked over to the car when it stopped. 

‘Hiya,’ he greeted, getting in.

Robert gave him a sunny smile and watched as he buckled his seatbelt. Then he nodded at the plastic bag in Aaron’s hands. ‘What’s that?’ he asked.

‘Hm? Oh, I bought you something.’

‘Aaron! I didn’t expect you to buy me a present!’

‘Well, that’s kind of the done thing on birthdays, isn’t it?’ Aaron said. ‘Anyway, it’s not much. You can have it when we get to yours.’

Robert grinned at him and wasted no time in driving out of the village. 

‘How’s your sister?’ he asked when they were on the road to Hotten. ‘You’ve not said much about her.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Yeah, she’s fine. She’s leaving tomorrow, actually.’

‘Really? Are you sure you didn’t want to spend today with her?’

Aaron scoffed. ‘Don’t be daft. I mean, I’m gonna miss her, but I didn’t want to miss this. Not after I told you I’d be there.’

Robert was quiet for a moment, as if digesting the weight of Aaron’s words. ‘Thank you,’ he said quietly, eventually. ‘That means a lot.’

‘Soft lad,’ Aaron said. He smiled at Robert, and his boyfriend caught his eye. Robert put his hand on Aaron’s thigh; resting it there gently as if for reassurance. ‘Liv’s fine,’ he said, picking up where he had left off. ‘She’s doing well enough in school. Hates it, but she’s going now which is better than she used to do.’

‘She used to skive off?’ Robert removed his hand from Aaron’s thigh to turn left at a junction, then kept both hands on the steering wheel. Aaron realised he missed the warmth of Robert’s large palm.

He nodded. ‘Yeah. She used to be terrible for it. I think her Mum gave her a bit of a kick up the backside though; Liv still won’t tell me what she said, but it must’ve been enough to get her on the straight and narrow.’

‘Good. Does she know what she wants to do with herself yet?’

‘Dunno. She’s only fourteen though, so Sandra doesn’t expect her to know I don’t think. She likes art and that, but… her mind changes so much.’

Robert smiled. ‘She’ll get there. When I was growin’ up, it was either my Dad’s way or the highway.’ He shook his head and his smile dropped a little. Then he shook himself. ‘But… it sounds like Liv has a lot of support from you and from her Mum.’

Taking the initiative that Robert didn’t want to talk about his Dad or his past, Aaron said ‘Yeah, she does.’ He nodded again. ‘She knows about you, by the way. About… well, about me and you.’

‘Oh? And what does she think about it?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Doesn’t really bother her, really. She doesn’t see why I don’t tell my Mum about you though.’

Robert chuckled. ‘That makes two of us then,’ he said with a smile. ‘I want to meet her, you know.’

‘I know you do. And she wants to meet you as well. I told her that I need a bit more time… to see where this is going.’ He looked at Robert to gauge his reaction, but saw only a flicker of movement in his eyes as Robert directed his gaze at him.

‘Where do you want it to go?’ Robert asked.

Aaron shrugged. ‘I dunno. I like you. And I don’t go to parties much anymore… so, yeah… I really like you, I guess.’

‘You _guess_ ,’ Robert laughed. ‘Don’t make me feel too special, Baby, my head may not fit in the car.’

Aaron smiled. ‘You know what I mean,’ he said. 

‘Yeah. I know.’ He sighed. ‘Well, if you want to know what I think… I like you as well. It’s not been easy for me to… get back on the horse when it comes to dating. But… there’s something different about you.’ His brow furrowed. ‘Is that too much?’

‘No,’ Aaron said with certainty. ‘It’s not been easy for me, either.’

Robert smiled at him softly. They were at his house and they pulled up into his drive. He unbuckled his seatbelt, but before he opened his door, he leant over and put his hand on Aaron’s cheek. Aaron met his blue-green eyes and smiled. Robert didn’t say anything; just leaned in and pressed a closed-mouthed kiss to Aaron’s lips. 

Once inside the house, Robert pulled Aaron to him with his arms wound around his waist and kissed him again. Aaron blindly threw Robert’s gift on the sofa and his hands found and gripped his boyfriend’s shoulders, holding on as he was kissed breathless. They parted, panting and flushed. Robert pressed his forehead to Aaron’s.

‘Happy birthday,’ Aaron breathed. 

‘Thank you.’ Robert nudged their noses together. ‘Do you want to go upstairs?’

Aaron nodded, eyes on Robert’s pink lips. He let the older man take his hand and lead him up to his room again.

**** 

An hour later, Aaron was sitting on the bed, listening to the shower run in the bathroom, skin still wet from his own shower. He had tried to get Robert to share it with him, but his boyfriend had smiled and declined. _‘If I join you, we’ll never leave,’_ he had said. 

Aaron let his mind wander, until it stopped on Robert telling him he wanted to meet Chas one of these days. Aaron wanted that as well, more than anything. He hated keeping things from his Mum, and it wasn’t like he was ashamed of Robert, not at all. But he knew his Mum, and he knew that she’d overreact, or react badly when she found out how old Robert was. Plus, he knew that she’d get overprotective of him (he was actually surprised she hadn’t asked Paddy to follow him around), and give Robert the third degree. More than anything, he hated the thought of her scaring him off. He could introduce the subject gently, he supposed. Ease her into it a little bit. 

The shower turned off, and minutes later the bathroom door opened. Robert walked out, accompanied by a gush of steam. Aaron was beginning to realise that Robert liked to have his showers and baths almost scalding hot, no matter the temperature outside. Aaron smiled at his boyfriend and looked him up and down: from the blond hair flattened on his head, to his broad shoulders, pale chest, slightly soft stomach, to the towel around his waist. 

He heard Robert chuckle. ‘You’re not being subtle,’ he said. He walked over to his wardrobe, and Aaron had a view of his broad back, the expanse of pale skin dotted with freckles and moles. 

He rose from the bed and walked over to his boyfriend, placing his hands on his waist. ‘Didn’t realise I needed to be subtle,’ he said. He kissed Robert’s shoulder, licking the droplets of water from his skin. His hands grazed across his stomach, and to the fold in the towel where Robert had it wrapped around his waist. His fingers pulled at it, but Robert pulled them away.

‘We’re supposed to be getting ready to leave at six,’ he reminded him. Aaron grunted and Robert chuckled softly. ‘After we get back, we can stay up all night if you want.’ He turned his head and kissed Aaron’s cheek, smiling at the way his boyfriend’s eyes lit up. 

Aaron backed away from Robert, knowing that no matter how much he wanted it right now, he wasn’t going to get it. He didn’t mind waiting, not as long as he knew that he’d get Robert at the end of the night. He pressed one last kiss to Robert’s shoulder and looked in his wardrobe filled with clothes. Suits, mainly. Though there were a few pairs of folded jeans under the blazers. It wasn’t often that he saw his boyfriend in jeans: the only time was when he drove him back to the village after he spent the weekend with him. He spotted the suit bag and nodded at it. ‘Is that one mine?’

‘Yeah.’ Robert pulled it out and held it for a moment, looking at it. His eyes were considering and vulnerable suddenly. ‘Look, I… about Wednesday,’ he said. ‘In the shop when I—’ He swallowed, and Aaron felt a rush of protectiveness, though he didn’t want to interrupt what Robert was about to say. ‘It must’ve looked really bad, when I… y’know dressed you… and when I got… I’m not a… a pervert or anything, I just—’

Aaron couldn’t stand it. ‘Hey, hey,’ his voice was soft and reassuring. ‘C’mere.’ He took the suit from Robert and put it carefully on the bed, then took his boyfriend’s hands in his. He could see tears forming in his eyes. ‘I would never _ever_ think that about you. Okay?’ He kissed Robert’s cheek and rested his hands on his neck, his thumbs brushing Robert’s jawline. ‘Has that been on your mind since Wednesday?’

‘Off and on,’ Robert whispered.

Aaron clicked his tongue and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek again. ‘Idiot,’ he said fondly. ‘I can’t pretend to know psychologically why you need the things you need,’ he said. ‘But I will try and understand it. And I will _never_ think… that about you. Okay?’ He nodded until Robert was nodding tentatively along with him.

They kissed softly, chastely, and Aaron brushed his thumbs over Robert’s jaw one last time.

‘Thank you,’ Robert said, to which Aaron smiled in reply. He sighed and pulled himself away from the younger man’s hands, and nodded to the suit. ‘You can dress here. I’ll go to the spare room.’

‘You don’t have to,’ Aaron said, treading carefully. ‘If you wanted to dress me—’

‘No,’ Robert said, frowning and shaking his head. ‘Thank you. But I’m feeling a bit—’ He gestured to his head, and Aaron understood. _Fragile_. 

‘Okay.’ He pulled Robert back to him and kissed him gently again, then let him go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for 700 kudos!! And thank you all as always for your encouraging comments! Feeling nervous because I've been leading up to this for a while! Let me know what you thought, and I really hope you enjoy it! :)

They were ready in enough time to sit down and have a beer each. 

_‘We’re getting a taxi tonight,’ Robert had said. ‘No way am I not drinking on my birthday.’_

Aaron admired his boyfriend, sitting at the table in the chair opposite him. Robert wore a maroon suit with a white shirt. His hair was spiked just right at the top, and he seemed to have worked past his small blip in the bedroom by the time they were both dressed and downstairs. ‘You alright?’ Robert asked him, handing Aaron a beer.

‘Yeah. Feelin’ the nerves now though,’ he admitted.

Robert smiled and took his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. ‘Don’t worry: stick with me and you’ll be fine.’

Aaron smiled. ‘Hm. And I suppose you’ll expect the same when you meet my Mum?’

Robert grinned widely. ‘Oh, so it will happen then? Not gonna keep me a dirty little secret forever?’

‘I thought about it, but well, it’s getting tiring tryin’ to make up excuses about where I’m goin’ and that,’ he teased.

‘I’ll bet,’ Robert played along. He scooted his chair over a little until he could pull Aaron to him and kiss him. ‘I’m gonna hold you to it, you know? Introducing me to your Mum.’

‘I won’t back out, don’t worry.’

Robert kissed him again. When he pulled back, he checked his watch. ‘Right. Taxi will be here in a bit.’ He checked his pockets for his wallet, and then put his phone into his inside jacket pocket. Aaron did the same, checking to make sure that his bank card was in his wallet. Robert noticed and put his hand on Aaron’s arm. ‘You don’t have to worry about money tonight,’ he said. ‘I’ll get the drinks in.’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘I can stand you a birthday drink,’ he objected. When Robert looked ready to protest, Aaron interrupted him firmly. ‘A birthday drink, Rob,’ he said. ‘You can’t object to that.’

‘But you already got me _that_ ,’ Robert said, nodding at the wrapped gift, still in the plastic bag.

‘You don’t even know what _that_ is. Could be absolute shite for all you know.’

Robert chuckled. ‘Fine. A birthday drink, then.’ He walked over to the window and pulled the curtain apart just in time to see their taxi pull up. He opened the door for Aaron, grabbed his keys from the side cabinet, checked his pockets one last time, and then followed his boyfriend down the drive.

**** 

The place that Robert had arranged his party for was not at all somewhere that Aaron would feel comfortable in. It was in Leeds, and as soon as they pulled up outside the building with its classical columns and large double doors, Aaron thought they had come to the wrong place. But Robert got out of the taxi after paying the driver, and opened Aaron’s door for him when the younger man wasn’t budging.

‘Here?’ Aaron said, when he had got his voice back. ‘Are you sure?’

Robert nodded. ‘Yeah. I’ve had it booked for months.’ He took Aaron’s hand and made to pull him along, but Aaron was frozen in place. ‘Baby?’

Aaron shook his head. ‘I don’t think I can do this,’ he whispered.

‘What? Why?’ There was nothing accusatory in Robert’s voice, just concern. ‘Hey, look at me.’ Aaron did, and Robert cupped his face. ‘You’re here with me, alright? You’re my date, my plus one at my birthday party. You have more right to be here than anyone else.’

The younger man swallowed. ‘But… Robert, I don’t fit in here.’ A couple exited the building, the woman in a long purple dress, the man in a tuxedo. ‘I mean, look at me.’

Robert stepped back and took him in. ‘You look gorgeous, Aaron,’ he whispered. ‘Trust me, alright? You look perfect.’ Aaron still looked unsure, so Robert stepped back to him and put his hand on his waist. ‘We’re early okay, so we’ll go in, you can have a look at the place, get a feel for it, have a drink, and if you still don’t feel right then we’ll go.’

Aaron shook his head. ‘No. No, if I don’t feel right, then I’ll go. You don’t have to leave as well.’

Robert laughed incredulously. ‘Aaron, you’re my _boyfriend_. I’m hardly gonna let you go home alone, especially if you’re not feeling great.’ In a role reversal to earlier that evening, Aaron was being reassured by Robert, nodding along with him and trying to calm his fraying nerves. ‘Or do you just want to go now?’ Robert asked.

He looked from Robert to the building. It was huge and intimidating and posh-looking. But Robert was being so understanding and patient. He couldn’t deny his boyfriend this. And it was his _fortieth_. It was a special birthday for him. ‘No, let’s go in,’ he said with more confidence than he felt. He breathed in and closed his eyes for a second. ‘Yeah, it’s your birthday, and I need to buy you that drink, don’t I?’

Robert smiled, though it was kind and patient, and Aaron knew that if he had told Robert there and then that he couldn’t do it, that he’d rather spend the night at the house in front of the telly, Robert would accept that without question. He felt the first fluttering of something that could be love in his stomach.

The room was the perfect mix of modern and old-fashioned, and the low lighting calmed Aaron a little. There were a few people there already, and his hand clenched around Robert’s, especially when they turned and the woman gasped and jogged towards them.

‘What are you doing here already!’ she shouted. ‘You’re early! You know it’s supposed to be fashionably _late_ , don’t you?’

Robert grinned. ‘Yeah, I know, but we were just too excited to be here.’ He detached his hand from Aaron’s for a moment to hug the woman, but instantly turned back to him. ‘Wendy, this is Aaron. Aaron, Wendy: my best friend.’

Aaron smiled tentatively and shook Wendy’s extended hand.

‘So this is the famous Aaron,’ she said, winking at Robert. ‘He seems like a keeper, Robert.’

Robert smiled, but didn’t say anything to encourage her teasing. Wendy must have picked up on it, because she dropped Aaron’s hand, but not the smile. ‘What can I get you both to drink?’ she asked.

‘Two pints, please Wendy,’ Robert said.

‘Hold on,’ Aaron piped up. ‘I told you I’d get you a birthday drink.’

‘You can get the next one,’ Robert said.

Wendy nodded. ‘Yeah, let me shout you two this one.’ She smiled and went back to the bar before Aaron could protest any further.

‘Alright?’ Robert asked, noting Aaron’s fingers clenched around his hand. He smiled and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple, and felt Aaron relax minutely.

Wendy appeared again, two pints and a glass of wine in her hands. Robert and Aaron immediately reached for theirs, and she smiled in gratitude. 

‘Where’s Clive?’ Robert asked, when the three of them had toasted. 

‘He’s in the kitchen, “overseeing”,’ she said with a roll of her eyes.

Robert laughed. ‘Clive? Overseeing in the kitchen?’ He grinned at Aaron. ‘Clive, Wendy’s husband, is notoriously bad at cooking.’

‘The man can’t even boil pasta,’ she agreed, and smiled when Aaron chuckled. ‘Between us, I think he’s after whatever scraps he can get from the chefs,’ she said. ‘But he’ll deny that of course.’

The back door swung open then, and the sounds of pots, pans, and the smells of cooked meat for snacks through the night wafted out. The man whom Aaron assumed was Clive sauntered out with a pint in his hand, and licking his fingers. He froze when he saw the three of them watching him, and broke into a wide grin. ‘Robert! You’re not supposed to be here already!’

‘Well it was hardly a surprise party was it?’ Robert said. ‘I arranged it after all.’ He dropped Aaron’s hand again to shake Clive’s hand. 

‘I suppose.’ Clive patted him on the back. ‘Happy birthday, mate. The big 4-0, eh? How does it feel?’

Robert rolled his eyes. ‘It feels like I’m too old to be asked that question,’ he said. He put a hand to the small of Aaron’s back, urging him forward. ‘Clive, this is Aaron. Aaron, Clive.’

Clive was all smiles as he shook Aaron’s hand. At first he wasn’t sure what to make of the loud man, but his smile and warm handshake was enough to reassure Aaron that he was fine.

It was another twenty minutes of idle chatting and getting to know Clive and Wendy (Aaron learned that they had all known each other for years, that they were friends with Robert through his divorce, and that Wendy and Clive had been happily married for years) before more guests showed up. The large room was suddenly bombarded with noise; with people wishing Robert a happy birthday, and Aaron felt as if he wanted to disappear into another room, or just disappear altogether. 

But Robert kept to his word, and didn’t let go of Aaron’s hand through the first hour. The only time he did was when he had to pop to the loo, and even then Clive was right on hand to chat to Aaron until Robert returned. 

Within ten minutes of his return, another man had greeted Robert with a slap to the shoulders and a ‘Happy birthday’ tumbling from his lips. ‘Greg, this is Aaron; Aaron, Greg.’ Aaron smiled and shook the man’s hand. He hadn’t done this much meeting and greeting since he had met some of Ed’s teammates in France. He felt out of his element here a little, what with the suited men, red wine and delicate-looking finger food on silver trays, but the smile on Robert’s face each time someone else wished him happy returns for the day was enough to make Aaron want to stay as long as his boyfriend wanted him to.

Robert and Greg made conversation for a minute or two before the latter went off to the bar. Robert turned his attention back to Aaron. ‘That was my boss,’ he explained.

‘Oh.’ The surprise must have shown on Aaron’s face, as Robert raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Aaron shook his head. ‘I just assumed that you were the manager that’s all. Y’know, what with the salary and that.’

‘I get paid well, but most of the money I have is from my last job where I _was_ a manager,’ he explained.

‘What happened there, then?’

Robert looked down at the wine in his glass, swirling it around a bit, before he said tentatively, ‘Change of circumstance.’

Aaron could read the situation well enough that he knew Robert didn’t want to be pressed any further. He just nodded and left it as that.

****

‘You doing okay?’ Robert asked softly after another hour or so. His breath smelled pleasantly of red wine (he had changed drinks after his second pint) and he had a gentle smile on his face.

Aaron nodded, even though he was rather far from okay. ‘Yeah, fine.’

‘You know you don’t have to lie to me,’ Robert said. It amazed Aaron how seemingly well Robert could read him. Or maybe he was screaming his discomfort at the top of his lungs. ‘Do you want to go?’

Aaron shook his head. ‘No. I’m fine. Honestly. Well, I will be with a few more of these in me,’ he said, lifting his glass. ‘And I still haven’t bought your birthday drink, Mr Sugden.’ He grinned in what he hoped was a flirtatious way. ‘Do you want the same?’

He took Robert’s empty glass and made his way to the bar, swerving around people in groups who were laughing and chatting together. It wasn’t that Aaron felt altogether uncomfortable here: he didn’t feel threatened, and for the most part people were pleasant towards him. It was just that after Tom, it had taken him a while to get used to being out in crowded places again; and he felt a little more on guard because the people around him clearly ran in different circles to himself. 

Aaron finally managed to squeeze his way to the bar. He rested his elbows on the solid wood and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb. Someone bumped into him hard enough that he almost fell to the ground, managing to steady himself before any damage was done. Wendy looked up from where she had stumbled into him and was all smiles. 

‘Aaaaron!’ she yelled. The man wrinkled his nose. She smelt of vodka and he hadn’t seen her eat once tonight. She was very obviously and painfully drunk. ‘Ho—how are you? Hm?’

He nodded. ‘Fine, thanks,’ he said, shortly. He turned his attention back to the bar, silently praying for the barman to serve him quickly.

‘Enjoying yourself, yeah?’

‘Yeah. It’s great.’ 

She put her hand on his shoulder and he sighed in slight frustration. 

‘Rob—Robert’s nice, eh?’ she slurred into his ear. 

Aaron tried to squirm away, but she had a firm hold on his shoulder. ‘Yeah, he’s great,’ he said. Even if he had been more drunk, Wendy would certainly have sobered him up. 

Her face suddenly downturned. ‘Listen, you… you had better not hurt him.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Yeah, I won’t.’

She gripped him tighter. ‘No, you _won’t_.’ He looked at her: really looked. Her eyes were dark with anger and threat, even underneath the intoxication. ‘You don’t know, eh?’ she slurred. ‘What—what they’re all saying. That you’re just after him for his _money_.’

Aaron tried to take a step back. Where was the woman who had been so friendly just a few hours ago? Who had welcomed Aaron into their little circle? ‘I’m not,’ he said firmly, though he could feel himself shaking. ‘I don’t care about his money.’

Wendy barked a laugh. ‘ _She_ said that as well.’ She stumbled again. Her eyes were red with drunkenness. ‘And then she took—she took _everything_ he had. She took ad _van_ tage of him. Hurt him so _badly_.’ He frowned, and she nodded. ‘So just… if you _hurt_ him like she did—’

‘Wendy!’

Neither of them had noticed Robert standing there, listening to them, listening to everything that Wendy had said. His friend stepped forward unsteadily. ‘Robert, I was—’

‘You don’t have a right to say that to him!’ Robert hissed, not loud enough for anyone to hear.

Wendy shook her head. ‘I was lookin’ _out_ for you!’

But Robert had closed himself off. Aaron could see it in the tightening of his jaw, the way the muscles in his cheek flinched. He put his hand on his boyfriend’s arm. ‘Robert, she _was_ just lookin’ out for you,’ he said quietly. 

‘She had no right to tell you about _her_.’ He looked between them. ‘We’re going, come on.’

Aaron wanted to call after him, but realised that it would just draw attention to them. He began to follow him, when he felt Wendy’s hand grab his own. 

‘Aaron, Aaron,’ she slurred. ‘I’m sorry.’

And he knew that she was, and part of him wanted to stay and tell her so; wanted to get the whole story behind what she had meant about someone taking advantage and hurting Robert. But his body called out for Robert, to check that he was alright, to hold him. He nodded and squeezed her hand a little before he followed after his boyfriend.

**** 

Aaron found him walking down the road from the club. Robert turned, phone to his ear, when he heard hurried footsteps behind him. He held up a hand, and asked for a taxi when the call went through.

‘Five minutes,’ he told Aaron when he hung up. He waved his phone. ‘A taxi is five minutes away.’

‘Okay.’ Aaron shuffled on his feet, a sure sign that he wanted to talk.

‘Aaron, can we not?’ Robert said.

‘Not what?’

‘Talk about… about whatever’s running through your head. About what Wendy said.’

Aaron frowned. ‘She told me that someone hurt you _badly_ ; I’m hardly _not_ gonna ask about that, am I?’

Robert shook his head. ‘She had no right to tell you those things!’

‘She didn’t tell me anything!’ Aaron argued. ‘But even if she had… I’m your _boyfriend_. I should know!’

Robert’s fist clenched and unclenched. He was turned away from Aaron, looking off down the road, but he could feel the younger man’s eyes on him. 

‘Okay,’ Aaron sighed. ‘So… I’m guessin’ it’s about your ex, right? Something happened, and—’

‘Alright, you need to stop _right there_!’ Robert said, facing him finally. ‘I don’t want you knowing about this, and you don’t have a right to… to push me!’

Aaron’s head raised. They were both breathing heavily. Aaron’s eyes flickered off to the side as he was illuminated by headlights. The conversation wasn’t over it was only halted, his determined eyes seemed to say. Robert sighed in something like resignation. He opened the door for Aaron, nodding at him to get in first before Robert slid in after him. He told the driver the address. It was the only thing said for the entire journey, though the air between them sparked with conflict which only seemed to lessen when they drove into Hotten.

The taxi pulled up to the house, and Robert paid the driver with just a quiet murmur of thanks. He unlocked the front door without a word, and held it open for Aaron. He locked the door behind them and left the key in the lock. He sighed, long and exhaustedly. He didn’t look at Aaron, but he heard when he cleared his throat.

‘Well, you invited me in,’ Aaron said quietly. ‘You must want to talk about _something_.’

‘Maybe I don’t want to talk at all,’ Robert said. There was no heat or flirtation there, nothing at all to make either of them smile, or to get Aaron to take the bait. He sighed. 

Aaron touched his arm. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. Clearly the ride home had made him calm down somewhat. ‘I’m sorry for pushing you.’

Robert swallowed. He moved to the armchair, perching on the very edge of it. Aaron sat on the sofa, looking at him intently. ‘When I met Louise, at my old job, things seemed to fall into place,’ he began. ‘I had a good, secure job; I was happy enough. And when I met her, I was even happier. I had this need even then, and I knew it… the providing thing that I have. I had it then too. I’d buy her things, and she’d smile and thank me. And once I got to know her son, she let me spoil him as well. It made me happy, being able to do that. It made me happy because it made _them_ happy. That was all I’d ever wanted.’ Tears started to gather in his eyes and he blinked them back. ‘It was great… until things just…’ He wrung his hands together, and chanced a look at Aaron. All he saw was patience and concern. ‘Wendy told you that she took advantage. She did, I guess. She would let me buy things for her; expensive things. She wanted a big wedding, wanted to get her family over from abroad. She talked about putting her son through the best private school in the county and I agreed. If it made them happy, I’d do it. I’d do anything for them... I did things for her as well…’

‘The cooking and that?’ Aaron whispered.

He nodded. ‘Cooking, dressing her, all of that. And she let me, but there was this look in her eye. I didn’t see it at the time. Not until later. Clive told me that he had seen her getting out of another man’s car, fixing her make-up and her dress. I didn’t believe him. I didn’t talk to him for weeks after he told me. But… maybe the scales were starting to fall from my eyes. And I saw the way she smirked at me, or saw the way her eyes were judging me.’ A tear fell from his eye, and he brushed it away impatiently. ‘And then I noticed money disappearing from my account. I told her about it… she was shifty as anything. And I knew. I knew that Clive was right, that she had been seeing someone.’ He inhaled shakily. ‘Did I really think, she said to me when she was leaving, that she could be with someone like me?’ His voice shook. ‘Someone who—who had these weird perversions—’ He broke and cried, and Aaron was right there, kneeling in front of him, pressing his hands to Robert’s face, wiping the tears away, whispering nonsense words of comfort. ‘For so long,’ Robert gasped, ‘I believed her. I was ashamed of who I was, of the things that I wanted—’

‘No. No.’ Aaron kissed Robert’s cheek, his forehead, ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Not anymore, alright? Not with me.’

Robert raised his head and looked into Aaron’s blue eyes. He had to blink away the tears, but he saw the sincerity clear as anything. Aaron meant every word. He let himself be held by Aaron, le the younger man wrap his arms around his shoulders, and let himself sink into him until the tears had dried on his cheeks.

Aaron pulled back when Robert did and kissed his lips gently. ‘You shouldn’t be ashamed,’ Aaron whispered. ‘She shouldn’t have made you feel ashamed. You’re amazing, Robert.’

Robert closed his eyes and shook his head. He had felt love before, he had been in love before. But it didn’t feel like this. He didn’t say the words yet, but he let the feeling flutter and take hold in his stomach, felt it warm him throughout.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am so sorry that I made you all wait for so long for the next chapter. I appreciate your patience and understanding that other things kind of got in the way. I'll try not to keep you guys waiting for too long for the next chapter! Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments and amazing words of support for this fic, which became something huge and so different to what I could have imagined - and thank you Stulot for that! :)
> 
> Happy reading :)

The silence around them was thick and tense, though not with anger; not with the atmosphere that used to surround Robert and Louise when they had an argument. This silence felt a bit more… if not comfortable then certainly a bit more familiar, even though he and Aaron hadn’t known each other as long as he and Louise had. There were so many comparisons that Robert could draw between the woman who used to be in his life and the man in his arms, but he didn’t want to go down that line. Aaron deserved better than to be compared to a woman who made Robert ashamed of who he had become. 

‘You’re thinkin’ really loud,’ Aaron said. 

Robert frowned even as he chuckled. ‘What does that even _mean_?’ 

Aaron laughed as well. ‘Means that you’re thinkin’ really flamin’ loud.’ 

Instead of an answer, Robert pressed a fierce kiss to Aaron’s temple and then inhaled the scent of him. ‘Thank you,’ he said quietly. ‘For…’ he faltered. ‘Just… thank you.’

Aaron forewent an answer as well, and instead leaned back further enough to look at Robert; to let his quiet, contemplative and watchful gaze flit over his face, before leaning in and kissing him gently. ‘It can’t have been easy, tellin’ me that,’ he said.

‘It wasn’t. But I guess I’m glad you know.’

‘I’m glad I know.’ They kissed again, but there was little heat behind it. Their mouths opened, their tongues danced, their breaths mingled and cooled the wetness on each other’s lips. But it didn’t go beyond kissing. 

When Robert pulled back from the kiss, he lingered, nudging his nose against Aaron’s, letting his forehead flutter against Aaron’s, felt the brush of Aaron’s long eyelashes against his cheeks. If he weren’t feeling so very grateful to Aaron as well as flirting with the idea of being in love with him, he would have chastised himself for how precious he was being. He was a little surprised that Aaron was allowing it, if he was honest.

Aaron moved again but this time away from Robert. ‘Bed?’ he asked.

**** 

They slept next to each other. Hands wandered through the night, but it didn’t lead to anything. When Robert woke, he had his face pressed to his pillow, and Aaron was sleeping soundly beside him still. He considered getting up, but then considered the warmth around him instead, and lay there for a while longer until caught up in comfort and contentment he drifted off to sleep again.

**** 

When he woke again, the next side of the bed was empty. Robert rolled over onto his back, and his right arm flopped over to Aaron’s side of the bed. He heard water running in the bathroom and relaxed back into the sheets. Although he would never admit to Aaron, Robert had half expected his younger boyfriend to have left; to have decided that Robert and the baggage he carried around with him to be much too heavy for what he was looking for in a lover. But stayed he had, and Robert resolved to let Aaron know how grateful he was. The water stopped running, and moments later the bathroom door opened, followed by the padding of bare feet across the landing. 

He smelled Aaron before he saw him, smelled the fresh mint on his breath, and the hint of cologne that he had sprayed on last night but hadn’t showered off yet. Aaron greeted him with a shy smile, and Robert glowed in return. ‘Alright?’ Aaron said, ducking his head.

‘Mm.’ Robert watched his boyfriend move around his room. Aaron still carried himself with an air of uncertainty, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to step _here_ or put his clothes on _this_ chair. Aaron wore a pair of lounge trousers which Robert had deemed too short a few months ago, and a shirt which he had found in the back of the older man’s wardrobe. Now, he took off the shirt before looking around the room for his own clothes, but Robert sat up in bed and held a hand out to him before he could get redressed. Aaron considered for a second before taking Robert’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled back to the bed. ‘C’mere,’ he murmured, and kissed him softly.

Aaron threaded his hands through Robert’s hair and shifted until he was straddling his thick thighs. He moaned as he separated from Robert’s lips, and ran his fingers back down the older man’s shoulders. ‘You alright?’ he asked again. Again, Robert responded with a nod and a murmur in the affirmative. ‘Just—y’know, after last night, I didn’t—’

‘Aaron. You’re still here. It’s more than I expected from you. Or anyone for that matter.’

His boyfriend’s eyes glinted teasingly. ‘Give me more credit than that,’ he said. He pressed tiny, adoring kisses to Robert’s cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids, and his lips. Robert felt himself harden and he pulled Aaron closer to him with hands around his back and his waist, and fell back onto the bed.

**** 

‘Your present’s still downstairs, by the way,’ Aaron said a little while later. 

Robert grunted, though he smiled gratefully. He groaned in slight discomfort when Aaron rolled himself on top of him. ‘You’re heavy, y’know,’ Robert said, though the words were muffled, pressed as his face was against the pillow. Aaron let himself rest all of his weight fully against him, and Robert, despite his previous complaint, laughed at his boyfriend’s playfulness. ‘Is this your way of getting me out of bed?’

‘Is it working?’ Aaron asked. His voice was bright, and Robert took a moment to revel in its light warmth. He raised himself up a little, and kissed Robert’s shoulder. ‘C’mon. I want breakfast.’

‘Well, what you want and what you get—’

Aaron shoved his shoulder. ‘Yeah, alright, are you gonna spout more of these old man phrases now that you’re—’

‘You wanted breakfast, did you?’

Robert rolled over onto his back to the sight of Aaron grinning down at him. He carded his hand through the younger man’s brunette hair and smiled when Aaron as good as purred. ‘Morning,’ Robert said softly.

‘Yeah,’ Aaron replied, voice in a bit of a daze from the hands scratching at his scalp. He opened his eyes when Robert laughed. ‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ But he held his smile in place, even when he slapped Aaron’s bare backside gently. ‘Get up, then. I’ll cook you something.’

Aaron raised himself onto his elbows, but not completely from the bed. ‘Before you do, I want to give you your present,’ he said. ‘It’s not much, but… well, you’ll see.’ There was a hint of red on his cheeks and he lowered his eyes coyly when Robert tried to catch them with his.

Robert nodded all the same. ‘Okay. And, hey, wear my shirt and trousers if you want; no need for you to get dressed as if you’re gonna leave soon.’

He went into the bathroom whilst Aaron straightened out Robert’s bedroom. He heard the younger man’s footsteps on the stairs and couldn’t help a brief smile to himself even whilst he considered his reflection in the mirror over the sink. He didn’t feel any different for being forty. He remembered once asking his mother what it felt like to be forty: _‘It’s not scary,’ she had laughed. ‘It is what you make it. It’s a good age to be.’_

He hadn’t quite believed her then, but then he had been a boy just entering into his teenage years—twenty was old, forty was ancient. Yet, he felt it now: it _wasn’t_ scary; he hadn’t dreaded it as such, the occasion of such a milestone birthday, but a few months ago he had wanted to commemorate the start of his forties with something other than being a divorcee. Now…

He heard cupboard doors open and close downstairs in the kitchen, heard Aaron lifting plates down and the sound of him filling the kettle with water ready for their morning tea and coffee. He smiled. Now, he had a boyfriend. When he had been growing up, the prospect of being in a relationship—a _proper_ relationship—with another man was nothing short of ludicrous. He had grown up in the latter part of the ‘70s and during the ‘80s. It wasn’t unheard of, but in his household, it wasn’t encouraged. His father had been traditional in that sense. Robert wondered what Jack Sugden would think of him now: waking up next to a man, having had amazing sex with a man, _falling in love_ with a man. He wouldn’t approve, Robert knew that. He wouldn’t be happy; his disappointment would know no bounds. Maybe it was for the best that he wasn’t around. Maybe, Robert leaving… being made to leave when he did… maybe it was for the best.

‘Oi!’ Aaron’s voice outside the door made Robert jump. He hadn’t even heard him come upstairs. ‘Didn’t fall over, did you?’ His voice was teasing, but there was a thread of concern in there as well. Robert found himself smiling, despite where his thoughts had led him just moments before.

‘I’m fine. Be down in a sec.’

There was a moment of pregnant silence, before Aaron descended the stairs again. Robert shook himself and got to his morning ablutions. He was determined not to let his father have this.

**** 

The mugs were ready and waiting for the hot water when Robert showed his face downstairs. Aaron was stood against one of the cabinets with phone in hand, which he put away when Robert walked into the kitchen.

Robert aimed for a kiss on the cheek and Aaron playfully turned and caught his lips instead before pulling Robert to him by the hips. They stood for a moment enjoying the embrace until Aaron’s stomach rumbled. 

‘Fry up?’ Robert asked, to which Aaron nodded eagerly.

‘First though,’ Aaron took the pan out of Robert’s hand and replaced it with a wrapped gift. The paper was blue, with silver ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ wishes reading across it. It looked carefully wrapped, and Robert couldn’t help a saccharine smile which earned him a light punch to the arm. ‘Just open it! It’s not much.’

Robert peeled it open carefully, wanting to both stretch the moment out and annoy his boyfriend a little bit. But instead of irritating him, as he carefully tore back the layers of paper, Aaron started shifting nervously from foot to foot. Robert said nothing until he lifted the last piece of sellotape to see an oven mitt inside the crinkled paper. Aaron had seemingly gone out of his way to avoid all things black, and had chosen a cream glove with a navy blue trim. It was special because Aaron had given it to him, but it wasn’t anything that Robert couldn’t have found himself from the nearest Lakeland. He frowned, but only a little. ‘What’s this?’ He didn’t say he already had a mitt, as Aaron knew well enough that he did. 

Aaron scratched at his forehead with his thumb, a gesture he did when he felt awkward. ‘I—uh—I just… it’s a… like, a gesture. Like,’ he took a deep breath and blew it out through puffed cheeks. When he started again, he was more collected, even if not less embarrassed. ‘I wanted to give you somethin’ that showed you that… that I was—that I _am_ okay with you needing to do things for me.’ He waved awkwardly at the mitt. ‘Like cook and that.’

Robert couldn’t speak, and Aaron must have read his silence as Robert feeling some kind of umbrage to the gift, because he reached out to grab it, but Robert was quicker and grabbed Aaron’s hand instead. ‘You got me this?’ he said in wonderment. ‘Because of _that_?’

Aaron nodded, though it was reluctant at first. ‘It’s stupid, I know.’

‘It’s not.’ Robert exhaled shakily and he felt his knees about to give out. He leant against the cabinet and had to close his eyes against the sudden wash of emotion. He felt Aaron’s gaze on him, but the younger man let him have his moment to collect himself. ‘Aaron,’ he said after a good while. ‘Aaron… this is… I couldn’t have.’ He swallowed and tried again. ‘This means so much to me. Especially after what I told you last night.’ He realised he was still holding Aaron’s hand, and squeezed it at the same time that he wobbled a smile onto his face.

They moved by unspoken mutuality: Robert dropping Aaron’s hand, and Aaron walking to the kettle and clicking it on before preparing the toast, this time taking the knife from the drawer and spread from the fridge with an ease which he had lacked the first time. Robert set the bacon to frying and watched his boyfriend. When he had put bread in the toaster, Robert walked behind him and wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist. He kissed Aaron’s neck sloppily, without finesse, but it made Aaron groan and whimper all the same. 

‘The bacon’s gonna burn,’ the younger man warned.

‘No it won’t.’ And Robert turned him around and kissed him; kissed him like he couldn’t get enough, he pressed his gratitude and awe and extraordinary desire for Aaron against his lips and hoped that his lover understood. 

The toaster popped and the bacon sizzled in the pan, and Robert released Aaron; both of them were breathing heavily. Aaron nudged his nose against Robert’s and smiled with both lips and eyes. Then they went about preparing breakfast, but took any opportunity to gravitate into one another’s path until the food was ready and they sat at the table. Robert’s new oven mitt still sat on the cupboard top. He’d put it in the drawer later and only take it out when he was preparing something which wouldn’t dirty it too much, or maybe even on occasions which held some significance for him and Aaron. Again, he chided himself for being too precious, but he was celebrating his fortieth (or the day after his fortieth) with a man who accepted him for who he was. If that didn’t call for some sentimentality, Robert didn’t know what did.

‘Tell me more about it,’ Aaron said around a mouthful of toast.

‘About what?’ Robert had watched Aaron for a while, until his own rumbling stomach got the better of him and he had to start on his own breakfast as well.

Aaron swallowed and licked crumbs off his thumb, smiling a little at the way Robert’s eyes followed the movement. ‘About you. You and the providing thing. How did it start? How’d you know?’

Robert chewed thoughtfully. ‘Why do you want to know? And why _now_?’

‘I’ve been curious for a bit,’ Aaron admitted, ‘but after last night, I just wanted to know more.’

Robert put his knife and fork down and leaned back in his seat. He didn’t meet Aaron’s eyes as he talked. ‘When I was in my twenties, things kind of shifted a little,’ he said. ‘I wanted to do things for my partners—and back then I didn’t have money, so it was all about… stuff like cooking for them, doing everything I could for them. Which wasn’t out of the ordinary, of course. But then it…’ he shook his head. ‘It kind of became more than that somehow. Not in, like, a dangerous way, but I just felt so _needy_ all the time to do things for them. I hated whatever it was that made me want that. And the need kind of looked like clinginess to my partners, so they all got a bit fed up with me. It made me angry, because it wasn’t anything I asked for, you know? I didn’t _want_ to feel this way.’ He looked at Aaron and was relieved when he didn’t see pity there, only sympathy. It was encouraging. ‘I calmed down a lot before I met Louise. I don’t know what changed. Maybe meeting Wendy, being able to talk to someone about it; that helped a lot. And then Louise happened, and…’

‘And she ruined it all,’ Aaron murmured. He cleared his throat and blinked away a telling shine in his eyes. ‘Do you know _why_ you have this need, though?’ he asked. 

And unbidden, Robert’s mind dragged up memories of being metaphorically shoved to one side by his father in favour of Andy, Robert’s brother. _‘Everything,’_ he remembered Wendy saying, _‘can be linked back to childhood. It’s a timeless theory for a reason.’_

‘I’m sorry,’ Aaron said, bringing him out of his thoughts, ‘It’s a bit much for the morning, isn’t it? This conversation?’

Robert smiled lightly. ‘It’s not really _breakfast talk_ , as my Mum would say.’ He nodded to Aaron’s plate. ‘Eat before it gets too cold.’

**** 

‘What’re you gonna do about Wendy?’ Aaron asked apropos of nothing. They had been lounging on the sofa, watching a series that Aaron wasn’t really interested in but which Robert loved and had seen a few times. Every once in a while, he’d pause the episode and relate some detail which Aaron had missed when he’d been on his phone, or to tell Aaron such and such about what would happen in later seasons, and so why this particular mention of it was important. Aaron, for his part, couldn’t really care less, but it was nothing short of captivating seeing his older boyfriend behave like a twenty year old when he talked about the programme.

So, half an hour through episode three, when Aaron decided to broach the subject of Wendy and last night, Robert just shook his head. ‘Nothing.’ But he heard Aaron sigh even over the shouting on screen, and Robert paused the show. ‘Aaron, can we just get through today without… souring it.’

‘I don’t want to _sour_ it, but it’s something that we—or at least you—should talk about.’

‘What is there to talk about?’

Aaron shifted around so that he was facing Robert straight on. ‘I don’t want the two of you to fall out over this,’ he said. ‘I mean, you said earlier that she helped you through a lot of the stuff before Louise came along. She sounds like a good friend.’ Robert was surprised by his honesty and his reasoning, but even so, he felt the bitter taste of anger in the back of his throat.

‘She had no right to talk to you about any of that stuff.’

‘Why? She was lookin’ out for you. And if she hadn’t, you wouldn’t have said anything.’

Robert spread his hands as if helplessly. ‘Why should I have?’

‘Because it’s important to you!’ Aaron’s voice had taken on a definite confrontational quality, and it did nothing to calm the same feeling in Robert. And when Robert felt on edge or threatened, things went downhill fast. ‘Because it’s part of your life!’

‘Right, and I know _everything_ there is to know about you, don’t I?’ Robert growled. 

Aaron’s eyes narrowed. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, Aaron, how about the fact that the only things I know about you are where you’re from, your name and your age?’ His voice was sharp in sarcasm and bite, and it wasn’t fair to level this accusation at Aaron, but Robert had started and he couldn’t stop—it was something that he had never quite stopped doing since he was a teen. ‘I don’t know _anything_ about you, but you know almost everything about me now. But that’s fine, isn’t it? As long as you’re happy.’

And Aaron looked anything _but_ happy when his mouth turned down and his cheeks flushed red, and Robert knew that he had gone too far when instead of firing back on all cylinders like Robert knew he could, Aaron snarled ‘Fuck you’ and got up from the sofa. He heard his heavy footfalls all the way upstairs and across the landing.

Robert’s head fell on the back of the sofa and he closed his eyes. ‘Fucking idiot,’ he whispered. Aaron was, without a doubt, one of the best things to happen to him in recent months. It was just like Robert to mess things up. He rubbed at his face and breathed deeply. The anger hadn’t dissipated, but knowing that he had pushed Aaron _that_ far definitely gave it pause. He switched off the television and followed his boyfriend upstairs. He found him in his bedroom, pulling their clothes from the chair in the corner and throwing his own on the bed. Robert leaned against the doorframe and watched him, brow furrowed.

‘What’re you doing?’

Aaron didn’t look at him, but he stopped briefly. ‘Finding my stuff. I’m gonna call a cab to go to the bus station.’

Robert would have rolled his eyes at Aaron’s dramatics, if he hadn’t shown just how capable he was of being a drama queen himself not two minutes ago. ‘Aaron, c’mon. You don’t wanna do this.’

Again, Aaron didn’t turn around, but he did stop and his shoulders drew up around his ears. ‘I thought we just established that you don’t know _anything_ about me. How the hell do you know what I want?’

Robert pushed himself off the frame and approached Aaron, then put his hands on his boyfriend’s waist. Aaron’s back stiffened, but it didn’t deter Robert. He brushed his nose against Aaron’s ear. ‘Come on, Baby.’

‘Y’know, there’s a reason why I don’t tell you stuff,’ Aaron said.

‘Okay.’

‘It’s not… easy to talk about it.’

Robert nodded. ‘Yeah, and talking about my issues isn’t high on my list of fun things to do, either.’ He smiled when Aaron gave a half laugh—small, but there and sincere. He gently turned Aaron around to face him and was pleased when his boyfriend didn’t resist the pull at his waist. ‘It’s been ages since I’ve had to talk about her, or even think about her as much as I have done recently,’ Robert said. He looked down at where his hands caressed Aaron through his own shirt. ‘Everything has been happening quite fast between us—and I don’t mean our relationship—but with you finding out about the things that I need, and then last night with Wendy and her oily mouth.’ His eyes flitted back to Aaron’s when he heard another huff of laughter from him. ‘So, forgive me if that wound is recently raw again.’

Aaron looked at him for a long moment, digesting Robert’s words, before he nodded once. ‘Sorry for pushing,’ he murmured. ‘You’re right: you don’t need to tell me anything.’

The older man sighed. ‘That’s not what I was getting at, Aaron,’ he said. ‘I mean, yeah, it came out that way downstairs just then, but I am glad I told you. It’s just… I would’ve preferred it to be in my own time.’

‘Okay.’

They didn’t kiss, but Robert did let his fingers grip Aaron just a little bit tighter. Then the absurdity of the situation hit him and he leant his forehead on Aaron’s, a smile pulling at his lips. ‘How did we get here, eh? We were having breakfast a few hours ago.’ Having breakfast, and talking, and falling over themselves afterwards to kiss and caress each other. Robert’s eyes had fallen on the new oven mitt—tag still clipped to it—and couldn’t resist pulling Aaron to him and kissing him for all he was worth.

Aaron chuckled. ‘Too dramatic for our own good.’ Robert had to agree.

‘Don’t go,’ he said. He pushed aside his pride, and nudged Aaron’s nose with his own as he said it. ‘Not yet, anyway. And not like this.’

‘Okay.’

**** 

They didn’t mention Wendy or last night or any of the rest of it for the rest of the day, though for the next half hour their tempers hung over them like a suffocating summer heat. Eventually hands started to wander again, and smiles and laughter came more easily as they sat and talked about mundane, mindless things. Robert knew that it was something they—eventually—had to talk about. Not just Wendy, but Aaron’s past as well. There was something there that he was clearly avoiding; it even came through in the way that he talked about his mother. And for his own part, he had to confront how much everything about him was linked to something deeper. It was something that would come later. For now, he caught Aaron looking at the clock mournfully, and he pulled him back to the moment by suggesting lunch, smiling when Aaron accepted without hesitation.

**** 

It felt like they had been in their own little world for a lot longer than a span of nearly twenty-four hours. But eventually, Aaron looked at his phone for the time—they were once again holed up in Robert’s room—and groaned. 

‘I’d better go.’

‘Already?’

Aaron sniggered. ‘Mate, it’s almost seven in the evening!’

Robert jolted upright. He’d been resting on his stomach, arms around his pillow, whilst Aaron scrolled through his Facebook feed. ‘What? No, it was only just four!’

‘Yeah, and you’ve been asleep for three hours.’ His smile turned teasing and more than a little provocative as he leaned in. ‘Must’ve worn you out.’

The older man snorted and shoved Aaron away. ‘Yeah, that’ll be the day, young’un.’ He smiled when Aaron laughed. Robert turned over and rubbed his face and accepted the chaste peck on the lips from his boyfriend. ‘You definitely have to go then?’

‘Yeah, afraid so. Cain’ll have my head if I don’t show for work tomorrow.’

‘Better go then. I’m quite fond of your head.’ His eyes turned thoughtful when Aaron made to get out of bed though, and he pulled him back, ignoring his yelp of protest. ‘Hey, about earlier… I didn’t mean to take that out on you.’

Aaron bit his lip and nodded. ‘Yeah. And I’m sorry I pushed you.’ He let Robert pull him in and kiss him lightly. ‘Sorry I ruined your birthday.’

‘You didn’t ruin anything, Baby.’ 

‘And neither did Wendy, but—’ he cut himself off before Robert could open his mouth to argue, ‘we’re not talking about that. Especially just before I leave.’

Robert sighed in relief. ‘No, we’re not. But we will talk about me meeting your Mum at some point.’

This time, Aaron did get up from the bed and resisted the pull when Robert tried to drag him back down again. ‘Soon,’ was all he said.

‘What, I’ll get to meet her soon?’

‘No, _soon_ we’ll discuss it.’ And he wasn’t budging on it, even when Robert tried to nag him about it, so he let it drop for the time being. 

**** 

For the first time in a while, Robert dropped Aaron off in the village. ‘It’s almost dark, I’m not havin’ you walking around in the countryside at all hours,’ he had said, staunchly ignoring Aaron’s eye roll as well as his insistence that ‘nothing happens in the village anyway!’ So Robert drove into the village whilst Aaron nibbled at his fingernails in apprehension. Robert grabbed his hand and smiled at him reassuringly and playfully when Aaron glared at him.

They saw the lights of the pub and Aaron’s palms became noticeably sweaty. He wrenched his hand away from Robert’s to rub them on his jeans. ‘You’re really nervous, aren’t you?’ Robert said, almost fascinated by Aaron’s reactions.

‘Shut up, you don’t know what she’s like.’

‘No, you’re right. But I’d like to.’ He held up his hands. ‘One day, Aaron. Not now; I know that you’re not ready yet.’

Aaron shook his head. ‘It’s stupid. You’re my boyfriend; if she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem not ours.’

‘I don’t want to be the reason you and your Mum stop talking,’ Robert said. ‘It can wait.’

The younger man smiled gratefully: despite his attempt at bravado, his reluctance was too easily read in his eyes. He leaned across and kissed Robert quickly. Even though it was fairly late, he didn’t want to take any chances. ‘I’ll call you,’ he said, to which Robert nodded. He turned in his seat, about to open the door when he spotted Paddy through the window, just leaving Marlon’s on the way to the pub. He bit his lip again. Maybe… maybe small steps—baby steps would be better than nothing. He could always plead with his father-figure not to tell his Mum that he’d already met Aaron’s boyfriend. He turned back to Robert. ‘Paddy’s just there. D’you wanna meet him?’

Robert opened and closed his mouth a few times before he eventually decided on saying ‘Yeah, okay.’ 

They both got out of the car, and Aaron caught Paddy’s attention. He was about to introduce the man to his boyfriend, but he needn’t have bothered. His father-figure looked the man over twice and his eyes narrowed. ‘Robert Sugden?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may well be inconsistencies in what I've written here and what has happened in earlier chapters (I cringe at my writing when I read it back, so I haven't done so for fear of hitting delete on the whole thing!). I'm thinking mainly about Paddy knowing Robert (I've also changed it slightly from canon, as Paddy came to the village a year after Robert left, but here, he was here a year before he left, hence why he knows him by sight alone), so if you remember that Aaron told Paddy Robert's full name and there wasn't any recognition, then please do tell me!
> 
> EDIT!! So I realised afterwards that the above comment about canon Paddy vs this Paddy's arrival dates don't make sense! Of course, in this 'verse, Robert is older, so would have left Emmerdale earlier than canon Robert did. So in this 'verse, if Paddy had arrived when he had done in the show, he would have missed the Robert years, which is why I've had to change it slightly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so so much for your support of this fic. It's honestly overwhelming how many people really like it! I'm also sorry about the massive break: in case you need a brief recap, Paddy has been standing there since the end of January in complete shock at seeing Robert Sugden. Also, I promise you'll find out more about Aaron soon. I've actually written the scene where Robert finds out what's going on, so maybe I'll update sooner than I think, because I really want you guys to see that, and to see what you make of it! That said, enjoy this chapter. It's a bit info-heavy, but the boys are still finding out more about each other.
> 
> Happy reading!

_When Paddy was 25, he arrived in Emmerdale village; a freshly graduated vet ready to start over and settle down in a brand new home. Villages were supposed to be quiet, calm, sweet, quaint._

_A year later, he was leaning over his vet table, Jimmy King in obvious pain, with two pitchfork punctures in his torso. His brother, Max, was beside himself, and Paddy was trying to remain calm. ‘What happened?’ he demanded._

_‘It was an accident,’ Max said. His face was a portrait of panic, and his panic made him talk._

_It wasn’t the first time Paddy had heard the name Robert Sugden, but it was the first time he had really listened._

Paddy shoved himself forward, standing in front of Aaron as if protecting him from… from Robert.

‘Paddy!’ Aaron yelled. ‘What are you—how the hell do you know him?’

The youngest man looked to his boyfriend, expecting an equal expression of incredulity on his face. But Robert looked a combination of shocked and ashamed. ‘Robert?’ Aaron asked. ‘I don’t—’

‘You!?’ Paddy shouted. ‘You’re the man that Aaron’s been seeing?’ Before Aaron could neither confirm nor deny, or even ask what Paddy’s problem was, his pseudo-father had thrust a finger into Robert’s face, as though he were ready to curse him where he stood. ‘Stay away from Aaron! I’m warning you right now! You stay away from him!’

‘Paddy!’ Aaron pushed past the man and held his hands out, pushing against his chest. ‘Can someone tell me what the _fuck_ is going on?’

‘He’s bad news, Aaron!’ Paddy was vibrating with anger where he stood; Aaron had only ever seen him this angry once before. Still looking at Robert, Paddy tugged Aaron away from him, as if Aaron were a child. ‘Stay away from him! I’m warning you!’

Aaron pulled himself away, before turning to Robert. ‘What’s he talking about?’

Robert’s mouth hung open, and a look of complete astonishment and no small amount of shame was written on his face. ‘Aaron… I—I used to live here, when I was younger.’

‘Oh so you kept secrets, did you?’ Paddy said with a triumphant bark. ‘Surprise surprise.’

‘Paddy, just _back off_ , will you!’ Aaron snarled. ‘Okay, so you used to live here. Doesn’t explain _that_.’ He waved in Paddy’s general direction. He could hear the accusation in his own voice, but all at once his hackles were raised, as was his paranoia.

Robert cast his eyes around helplessly. ‘I… I wasn’t a good person back then.’ His voice was quiet, but Aaron was so focused on him that he could hear Robert despite the wind rustling the leaves.

‘Understatement,’ Paddy sneered.

Aaron didn’t even spare the man a glance. His focus was on his boyfriend. ‘So, what, you had a, like, _shady past_ or whatever?’

‘I made some really bad choices,’ Robert said. And well, if Aaron couldn’t relate to that…

There was something like a snarl, and Paddy was once again pushing his finger into Robert’s chest, making the man almost stumble backwards. ‘I wouldn’t trust you as far as I can throw you! You probably duped Aaron into some kind of sob story, didn’t you? That’s the only way you could’ve got someone as decent as him anywhere near you!’

'You don't know anything about me!' Robert yelled. 'Or about mine and Aaron's relationship.'

'Your relationship?!' Paddy said. 'That's a laugh. The only relationship you're capable of having is a bad one, and I won't let that happen to Aaron.'

'I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions!' Aaron was seething. He turned to Robert. 'Maybe... maybe you should go.'

'No, Aaron, please.'

'I'm not sayin' I want rid of you. But I'm not gonna let him talk to you like that.'

Paddy laughed in disbelief. 'You can't be serious! Aaron, this man is a _cheat_ and a _liar_.'

'Yeah, well not the Robert I know, Paddy.' He took Robert’s hand and squeezed it in what he hoped was reassurance. 'I'll call you.'

Robert audibly swallowed and uncertainty shone clear as day on his face. 'I'm not proud of who I was,' he said, his voice a murmur. 'But I was young and reckless.'

'No excuse for what you did,' Paddy said. 

'Paddy, seriously.' Aaron looked around and saw the crowd that had gathered. They were like vultures around a carcass, these villagers. He scowled at them, but when he turned back to Robert, his expression automatically softened. 'I'll call you,' he said again, before pushing his boyfriend gently towards his car. He and Paddy both watched Robert drive off, and Aaron's heart clenched: he couldn't help feeling that if his mother and Paddy had anything to do with it, he'd never see Robert again.

**** 

It hadn’t taken long for Chas to connect the dots. Her expression completely darkened, and Aaron swore that she was a step away from dragging him to his room and locking the door. 

‘You didn’t even know him!’ Aaron protested.

His Mum’s lips thinned. ‘I didn’t need to. All the things that Katie told me. If I’d known for _one second_ that Robert flamin’ Sugden was who you were seein’—’

‘You’d what? Lock me in my room? Take complete control of my life?’

‘Aaron, love, you don’t know what that man’s like.’

‘No, Mum, I _do_ know what he’s like. And you may remember him as… whatever he was, but it’s been _years_.’

Chas suddenly pointed at him triumphantly. ‘Ah! His age—don’t you find it _weird_ that a man _older than your Mum_ would be interested in a 24 year old?’

‘What’s so weird about that?’

‘Oh for god’s sake, Aaron, he’s using you!’

That hurt; more than knowing that his boyfriend had been keeping some kind of shady past from him. ‘So, what, someone can only be interested in me now if he wants sex?’

Paddy stepped between Chas and Aaron, shielding them both whilst also acting as a referee. ‘That’s not what she’s saying, Aaron,’ he said. ‘She’s worried about you. We both are.’

‘Why?’ Aaron threw his arms up helplessly. ‘Because Robert’s got a past? Yeah, big whoop, so have I. So do both of you.’ He rubbed his temple where a headache was starting to pound, like a truck driving full speed at a brick wall over and over again. Just a few hours ago, he had been lying in bed with his boyfriend, having made up twice over. He wanted that back again. He wanted to go back and not even suggest returning to this village. ‘Look, you think you know him, but you know the man that he was. _I_ know the man he is now: decent, kind, honest. He—’

‘Did he tell you why he was made to leave?’ Paddy asked.

It pulled Aaron up short. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

Chas shook her head. ‘Of course he didn’t.’ Her face was full of pity, and Aaron wanted to lash out at something. He could feel the anger creeping slowly through his body; climbing through his veins like vines around a tree. ‘Do you want to know why your _precious_ Robert was made to leave the village? He left a man to die.’

Aaron stumbled. He actually stumbled back, as though she had physically struck him. ‘What?’ he whispered. ‘No. He—Robert’s not—’

‘Not what you think he is?’ Chas finished. ‘No, love. He isn’t. I may not have been there, but I heard enough from Katie: Robert was responsible for a man’s death, and instead of sticking around to face the consequences, he just went off. So that’s your kind, decent and honest man, Aaron.’

**** 

Aaron had gone to his room. The air downstairs was too suffocating, and the stares of his Mum and Paddy weren’t helping matters. He replayed what his Mum had said over and over, each time trying to find the loophole, trying to find the way out; the way which would prove that Robert wasn’t what they believed him to be. 

_He left a man to die._

Aaron didn’t know much about technicalities, but he was almost certain that that was murder. His throat closed as he started to panic. If Robert could omit a fact like that so easily, what else could he do? But… Aaron couldn’t connect the man that had done that, with the man that he knew now. A man that he felt so much for. It just didn’t add up somehow. 

There was a knock at the door, and he dove under the covers as quickly and quietly as he could and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. Chas opened the door, and he could tell—even with his eyes closed—that she wanted to talk to him, but he wasn’t in the mood for it. He had enough spinning around his head without Chas adding even more chaos to it. She sighed, walked into his room, and kissed him gently on the forehead. Then she left, closing his door behind her. Moments later, he heard her bedroom door close. Paddy had left some time ago: Aaron had heard his and Chas’s muffled voices drifting up the landing, and getting lost in the wood of his door. He hated the thought that they were talking about him, discussing him behind his back as if he were a child or someone who needed constant supervision and assistance. 

Aaron waited five minutes more, listening for any sound which indicated that his Mum was coming back to his room or to the bathroom across the landing. When he was certain that she had definitely retired to bed, he sat up. Too many thoughts took up too much space in his head. He felt as though his mind would burst with it. And the one person who could help to alleviate that he had sent away. And he wasn’t sure if he could trust him at any rate.

He caught that last thought and dragged it back to examine deeper. It was his _mother_ who had told him that Robert couldn’t be trusted. But everything that he had learned about the man over the past couple of months spoke otherwise. Robert had told Aaron about something very secret and very personal. It was the type of secret which only came from a place of complete trust for another person. 

Why should he trust the words of his mother, who both didn’t know Robert at the time that he was in the village, and also didn’t know what had actually happened the day that he had been made to leave? The only person who could tell him the truth was a man long dead, and Robert himself. And Aaron trusted Robert enough to know that he _would_ tell Aaron the truth. 

Before he could give himself a chance to second guess it, he grabbed his phone and called Robert. He answered in the middle of the second ring.

‘Aaron.’ Robert’s voice was lost in a breath of relief. Or maybe dread. 

‘Hiya.’

He could hear Robert’s mouth moving; could imagine his tongue forming words only to swallow them back again. After a moment of silence, he said, ‘How are you?’

Aaron nodded. ‘Fine,’ he said when he realised Robert couldn’t see him. Even though the conversation was awkward and stilted, Aaron felt a sort of calm seep through his body, as though it had been calling out for Robert, and now that his voice was in his ears, it could finally relax. ‘You?’

He could almost see Robert shrugging his shoulder. ‘You know…’

‘Yeah, I know.’ He tapped a rhythm on his leg. He looked out the window and noticed for the first time that it was dark. There was a full moon. Figured, really. ‘I want to see you.’ The words fell uncensored from his mouth, but Aaron didn’t want to take them back.

‘Oh—kay. Are you sure that’s a good idea? Your Mum—’

‘Doesn’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do,’ Aaron finished. ‘And neither does Paddy. I want to see you.’ Robert didn’t protest. He didn’t say anything in fact, and Aaron realised that he wanted neither to initiate their meeting nor to encourage it. So he took the choice out of Robert’s hands. ‘I’ll drive to you,’ he said. ‘Be there in a bit.’

He hung up before Robert had the chance to answer, because he didn’t want the answer to be ‘No’.

**** 

Chas would skin Aaron alive when she went into his room in the morning and found her son missing. Again. But as he drove down the empty road towards Hotten, Aaron couldn’t have cared less. Paddy and his Mum’s voices chased each other around his mind, like a dog chasing its own tail. Accusations against Robert, about why he was with Aaron in the first place, about his past, about him letting someone die. He clenched his hands around the steering wheel, and it was only the sign counting down the miles to Hotten (counting down the miles to Robert himself) which calmed him.

He had never driven to Robert’s house before, but he knew the way well enough by now. He pulled up to the house, and noticed that Robert’s car was in the driveway. Good. He had half expected his boyfriend to be on a lay-by somewhere, losing himself to the past and anxious tears. Or maybe that was more Aaron’s style.

His knuckles had barely touched the front door before it was opened, and Robert stood there. And maybe, if crying at a lay-by was more Aaron’s style, then he and Robert were more alike than he thought: Robert’s eyes were red, and his cheeks blotched with ruddiness. Aaron cleared his throat. ‘Can I come in?’ he asked.

Robert swung the door open. Aaron smelt booze on his breath as he passed him in the doorway, but a quick glance around the room revealed only a glass on the coffee table, with no accompanying half empty bottle. Robert waved him to the sofa, and Aaron sat with a stiff back. It felt like he was a stranger in this house, not like mere hours ago he was pinned under Robert’s weight on this sofa whilst the man sucked kisses onto his neck. Robert sat heavily on the armchair. Aaron felt further away from him than when he had been at home.

There was nothing but the ticking clock for a time. It felt like an eternity. The refrigerator kicked in as well, and added its own voice to the strange duet. Finally Robert spoke.

‘Did they tell you the worst?’

_‘He let someone die’_. Aaron shook his head free of the clawing voice of his mother. ‘Depends on what the worst is. What they told me was…’ Pretty bad, he didn’t say. Robert looked down at his hands. He was not going to volunteer information, and to be honest, Aaron didn’t expect him to and nor did he blame him. So he led. ‘Why did you leave the village?’

Surprise ran across Robert’s features. He didn’t bother to hide the way his jaw dropped, nor the furrow of his brow. Aaron waited. ‘There was a crash.’ Robert spoke quietly and to his hands. ‘An accident…’ He sniffed and tears gathered in his eyes. Aaron’s heart hurt. He almost wanted to tell Robert to forget it, that it didn’t matter. Except it did, and Aaron wouldn’t rest easy until he knew the truth. ‘My brother and I… we weren’t close. We used to be, but we drifted apart a lot.’ He shook his head as if the whys weren’t important. ‘I had been planning to leave the village anyway. Me and this other bloke, Max King, we were gonna just leave. But things got messy and… my brother and Max were in one car, I was in another. You know chicken? The whole driving towards each other—yeah, we were doing that. They swerved or I swerved, I can’t remember properly. All I remember is the car going off the road and crashing and catching fire. I saved my brother. I couldn’t leave him. I went back for Max, but the car exploded before I could get there.’

Robert cleared his throat. He rose to his feet and grabbed the glass on the coffee table. Aaron heard the refilling of the glass, and Robert swallowing the shot of whisky. He didn’t turn around to look at Robert, and it was a minute or two before the man returned to the armchair. His eyes were full and his cheeks red again. 

‘My Mum,’ Aaron said, ‘she, um, she said that you—you left a man to die and then you just went off.’

‘What? No. I didn’t _leave Max to die_. I saved my brother first. My Dad found us; he as good as put all the blame on me, and then told me to leave the village before the police arrived. _He_ was the one that made me leave.’

‘She said that Katie told her—’

‘Katie _would_ say that.’

‘You know her?’

‘Yeah. We go way back as well. Aaron… I told you that I made some bad choices and well, Paddy wasn’t lying when he said that I was a cheat back then. Katie was my brother’s girlfriend and I—I had an affair with her.’

‘Your own brother’s girlfriend?’

‘I’m not proud of myself. I was young, and I was in love with her.’ He shrugged. ‘It didn’t seem to get in their way—they’re married now, living in Spain with the rest of the family. At least, that was the last I heard.’

Aaron grunted and pushed his face into his hands. That had been an overload of information, and he was still trying to process everything. He could feel Robert’s eyes on him.

‘Talk to me,’ he said.

Aaron pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. ‘I don’t want any of that to matter,’ he said. 

‘But it does?’

‘I don’t know. I can’t get my head straight right now.’

‘I didn’t tell you because it was in the past; it was something that I was trying to get away from. You must know what that’s like?’

Aaron nodded. God, did Aaron know what it was like, trying to run away from something. 

‘But if it’s too much for you,’ Robert said, ‘I’d rather know now.’ Because they were both getting in too deep and soon it would be impossible to let each other go. ‘If you want to… to call this quits, then—’

‘That’s not what I want,’ Aaron said. ‘I need to get my head around all of that, but I don’t want to not be with you.’

Robert nodded. His eyes shone with brief relief. ‘Me neither.’ They smiled tentatively at each other. ‘So… what happens now?’

‘Well, my Mum will probably skin both of us alive when she finds out I’m not at home. Don’t have a go, Rob.’ Robert’s teeth clacked together with how quickly he shut his mouth. ‘Can I stay here tonight?’

‘Yeah. Of course you can. I’ve got a spare bedroom, if you want that.’

‘Or we could just skip the part where I stare at the wall for hours before sneaking into your room, and just go right there?’

Robert smiled, all teeth and an endearing shyness which didn’t match his forty year old self. ‘If you’re sure,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to push you.’

‘You’re not. I’m still here, aren’t I?’


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're in a bit of a pickle in Emmerdale, aren't we?! But I'm still over here being a positive bean. I hope that you guys stay safe and happy. This chapter is happy. Because we all need some united-front Robert and Aaron (however, in the case of this chapter, the 'common enemy' is Chas. Don't worry, she'll come round!).
> 
> As always, thank you all so so much for all of your kudos, and amazing words of encouragement for the previous chapter. I never cease to be overwhelmed by how kind and wonderful you guys are! Happy reading :)

It wasn’t the sunlight that woke them, or the sound of the milkman going about his morning routine of yelling a greeting to everyone he saw. It wasn’t even next door’s dog, yapping wildly as soon as its owner left the house.

What woke them was the vibrating of Aaron’s phone on the bedside cabinet. 

They groaned, waking with a jolt, and Aaron flung his arm out and felt blindly around the cabinet until he found the source of the incessant noise. ‘It’s my Mum,’ he said without even looking at it. It was bound to be her. The ringing stopped and he sighed in relief.

‘She’s gonna call back.’ Robert’s face was pressed against the pillow and it took Aaron a moment to understand what he said.

‘Let her.’ Sure enough, not twenty seconds later, the phone rang again. Aaron shoved it under his pillow and rolled over onto his side, shoving himself against the welcoming warmth of Robert’s body.

Robert shifted until he was facing Aaron. He didn’t open his eyes, but he frowned with each stifled ring of the mobile. ‘You should really answer her, Baby. She’s probably worried.’

‘Yeah, she probably is.’

It fell silent in the room. Just as they thought she had given up, it rung again. Robert snarled and reached over his prone boyfriend before groping around under his pillow. ‘Oi!’

‘Answer the phone, or I’ll answer it for you.’

It was the thought of Robert incurring the wrath of his mother—his mother who bore no love at all for Robert Sugden—which made Aaron push him away and answer the phone. ‘Mum,’ he barked into the phone.

‘Love, where are you?’

She said it in this special way she had: she knew exactly where he was, but she was testing his honesty. He rolled his eyes and collapsed back to the bed, phone to his ear and the next arm thrown over his face. ‘You _know_ where I am.’

He could imagine her unimpressed face. ‘Aaron, please come home.’

‘Why? So you can talk shit about my boyfriend again?’

Robert nudged him, and when he lowered his arm, he saw his lover frowning at him in blatant disapproval. He sighed. ‘I’ll be home soon, alright?’

‘Please, Aaron, be careful.’

‘See you later, Mum.’

He disconnected the call and put the phone—none too gently—back on the cabinet. ‘That was a bit abrupt,’ Robert said.

‘Yeah, well. Got better things to do, haven’t I?’ He rolled over, on top of Robert, and leaned down to kiss him. ‘Morning,’ he said, smiling. Robert returned his smile, though it was a little dazed. ‘What’s up?’

‘Nothing.’ Robert stroked Aaron’s cheek with his thumb. ‘Just makin’ sure this isn’t a dream.’

‘Soft lad.’ Aaron’s gentle smile morphed into a grin. ‘If it was, could I do this?’ He leant down and kissed Robert’s lips again, then his cheek, jaw and chin. ‘Or this?’ He trailed down the side of Robert’s neck, pressing kisses with lips and tongue against the warm skin. He smiled at the shudder in his boyfriend’s breath. He continued lower, his lips following a much loved trail of Robert’s chest, to his left nipple—

‘Aaron.’ The tone wasn’t what said man wanted: Aaron wanted breathless and pleading, but this was instead firm and a gentle warning. He frowned, but stopped kissing Robert’s chest and fixed him with a scowl. Robert ran his fingers through Aaron’s curly hair in something like an appeasement. ‘Last night—things were a bit intense. Are you sure you still want this?’

He sat up just a bit, though he remained straddling Robert’s boxer-clad lap. ‘If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t be here, Robert,’ he said. He sighed, suddenly morose. ‘Don’t be like them. Don’t—don’t try to control me or tell me what I can or can’t do.’

‘I’m not,’ Robert said. He swallowed and ran his fingertips down Aaron’s shoulders, his arms, down to his hands where he entwined their fingers. ‘But I—I feel like,’ he huffed a laugh, though it was laced with self-consciousness, and Aaron squeezed his fingers in encouragement. Robert met his eyes. ‘I feel like I’m getting in deep here, with you, and I don’t know if I could let you go.’

They moved together, restless and impatient and craving. Aaron’s body shuddered for Robert’s touch; a touch which Robert bestowed with a care that Aaron hadn’t known before. In return, Aaron listened to Robert’s quickening breath, he felt Robert’s fingers tighten around Aaron’s waist, he saw how Robert’s mouth fell open in gaping wonder as Aaron moved above him, around him; as Aaron drew pleasure from Robert, and gave it in equal measure. He clenched and grinned when Robert stammered a curse through lax lips, but bit his own when Robert shifted his hips and pushed in _just_ the right place.

When Aaron came, he tried to keep his eyes open, but he couldn’t stop his body’s reaction as he threw his head back and groaned. He tried to right himself to watch the play of pleasure on Robert’s face, but couldn’t gather his wits enough to see past the dancing stars in his own vision as he floated above it all. But Robert pulled him back to earth and tethered him there, with a kiss to Aaron’s lips, and an arm around Aaron’s shoulders. 

And Aaron fell willingly.

**** 

Aaron texted Cain and told him he wouldn’t be in today. He promptly turned his phone off to ensure his uncle—or even Chas—couldn’t get in touch with him again for missing work. Across the table from him, Robert was doing the same: calling into work and booking an impromptu day off. Robert hung up with a wince. 

‘Well, Greg’s officially unhappy with me.’ He shrugged it off. ‘But he owed me a favour anyway.’ He put the phone aside and looked at Aaron. ‘Fancy going out somewhere?’

‘Yeah. Could do.’

‘Alright, don’t get too enthusiastic about it!’

Aaron laughed. He didn’t know how it happened; how they had managed to fall back into their old ways and exchanges, but they had. Somewhere between Robert revealing all, and Aaron revealing that it was too hard for him right now to reveal all, they had got back what they started with. Only, even better. ‘Yes, I’d like to go out somewhere. Better?’

‘A bit.’ Robert winked and stood up abruptly. ‘C’mon then. Get your coat.’

‘What? We’re going now?’

‘When else?’

Aaron rolled his eyes, but didn’t complain. And even though Robert had told him to get his coat, when Aaron went to the hooks by the front door, Robert was already there; coat held up and waiting for Aaron to slip into it. 

It was a little awkward, but only because Aaron couldn’t get used to being treated in this way. But when Robert pulled the coat a little tighter around him and kissed him tenderly, he found it was something he wanted to get used to.

****  
They stopped off at Sainsburys, and Robert bought a variety of things: scotch eggs, sandwiches, muffins, and a bottle of wine. Aaron raised his eyebrow but said nothing until they were in the car again.

‘So… when you said let’s go somewhere…’

‘A picnic,’ Robert said as though it should have been obvious. ‘I know it’s not fancy or anything, but I wanted it just to be the two of us, somewhere that wasn’t the house.’

‘Alright.’ 

They set off again, and Robert drove with ease: clearly he had somewhere in mind. The drive didn’t take long, and it was made even shorter by the talking which passed between them. They talked about nothing of consequence, and didn’t even look at each other but to share the occasional smile. Aaron felt relaxed in a way he hadn’t done for ages, and every laugh from Robert’s mouth and each upward curve of his lips told him that Robert felt the same.

Robert parked the car on a lay-by in a country lane. Aaron looked around, but didn’t recognise any of his surroundings. ‘Where are we, exactly?’ he asked. His boyfriend just picked up the bag of picnic food and gestured to a clear, open field. 

The grass was dry, but comfortable. They sat with their backs to the road, so they were facing the gorgeous rolling hills of Yorkshire. They shared the food and when they had eaten their fill, Robert opened the bottle of wine, taking a mouthful and then passing it over to Aaron. 

‘Don’t worry, I’m not gonna drink much,’ he said. ‘I know I’m driving.’

‘I didn’t say anything.’ Aaron took one mouthful, then another, before passing it back. Robert put the top back on and lay the bottle on the grass.

Something about being out here, not surrounded by four walls, not surrounded by any memories or any thoughts of the future; being in the wide open space, under the lightly clouded sky made Robert feel brave enough to talk; to say things that he had always kept behind gritted teeth and his closed off heart. 

Or maybe it was just Aaron.

‘My Dad was difficult,’ Robert said. He felt Aaron’s eyes on him when he started talking. ‘When I was a teenager, we didn’t really get along. I mean, we tried but… it didn’t really work out. He wanted things for me that I had no interest in, and the things I was interested in he didn’t care for.’

‘Like other lads?’ Aaron said.

Robert smirked a bit, but it didn’t last long. ‘Yeah. Like other lads.’ 

‘What about your Mum?’

‘She died before I had a chance to tell her.’

‘Oh god. Robert, I—’

‘It’s okay.’ It wasn’t. Robert didn’t think it ever would be, but it _was_ in the past, and there was nothing he or Aaron could do about that. ‘Andy, my brother, he was… he was my best friend. I knew him at school, and my parents adopted him. We were close. Then things happened, and… well, we stopped being close.’ Robert didn’t meet Aaron’s eyes. He couldn’t—he was afraid of what he’d find there, so if he wanted Aaron to know these things, it was best not to look at him. ‘My Dad caught me with a lad in my room when I was fifteen. My Mum had just died, he had taken on new workers at the farm. There was this boy… I liked him, and I asked him up to my room. We weren’t doing anything. Well, we didn’t get the chance to! Dad came into my room and completely lost it. Sacked the lad, smacked me around a bit.’ He cleared his throat and took another sip of wine. ‘It was barely out of the ‘90s, and my Dad was traditional.’

‘I’m sorry, Robert.’

Robert nodded. ‘I’m convinced Andy knew, because a few months later, he taunted me about still being _inexperienced_ ; how I’d never get a girl. I guess it started there, and spiralled. All the sleeping around with women, trying to prove that I was a _real man_.’ He said it and laughed mirthlessly. ‘I know that it doesn’t excuse what I did. I did cheat, and I lied. I did some terrible things, Aaron, and I’m not proud of it. But I’ve changed since then. I settled down, realised what was important to me, and well… now you, and you’re… you’re like no one I’ve ever met.’ For the first time he dared to look at his boyfriend, and saw only acceptance and warmth in his eyes. ‘I just want to be myself now. With you.’

Aaron exhaled sharply, as if he had been holding his breath through everything Robert had said. ‘My Mum and Paddy tried to tell me stuff about you,’ he said. ‘They said things which, well, I think they hoped I’d see this different side to you and leave you. But I knew I had to talk to you first. ‘Cause you matter to me, Robert.’

The words were, once again, on the tip of Robert’s tongue. Words that he could have said a thousand times over to the man in front of him, and it still wouldn’t be enough. He leaned over and kissed Aaron. Just a closed mouthed kiss, a press of lips, and a nuzzle against each other’s foreheads. But it was enough. 

It was more than enough.

**** 

‘I want to meet your Mum.’

Aaron choked on his mouthful of wine. ‘You what?’

‘I want to meet her.’

‘Why?’

‘’Cause she’s your Mum,’ Robert said. ‘Because I’m serious about you, and I want to meet one of your parents.’

‘Well, you’ve already met my kind-of-Dad.’

‘And now I want to meet your Mum.’

‘Robert,’ Aaron sighed. ‘There’s not enough drink in the world to prepare you for that.’

The laugh was startled out of Robert’s mouth. ‘C’mon, how bad can it be?’

‘She hates you.’

‘Can’t get any worse then, can it?’

Aaron shook his head, though he did it fondly. Robert could tell by the tilt of his lips. ‘I’ll win her ‘round,’ Robert said. ‘I can win anyone ‘round.’

‘Not her. She’s stubborn.’

‘Hm. I wondered where you got that from.’ He chuckled when Aaron glared at him, but then quickly sobered. ‘Aaron, look, I—I’m really serious about you. And I want your Mum to know that. I want her to know that I’m not the person Katie or Paddy or anyone else told her I am. I want her to see the man I am now, and I want her to see how much I care about you.’

Aaron was silent for a good while. He pulled at the blades of grass by his folded legs, and chewed his lower lip. ‘She’s not an easy woman to get along with,’ he eventually said. ‘And she really doesn’t like you; just sayin’. But—I want her to see who you are as well; I want her to see _you_. But seriously, if she breaks your legs, don’t come cryin’ to me.’

Robert pulled Aaron to him then, and kissed him. Meeting Aaron’s Mum, being allowed to meet her, showed Robert just how invested Aaron was in their relationship as well. 

**** 

The sky had turned argumentative when they pulled up next to the pub, with the remains of their picnic lunch in the back of the car. Aaron fidgeted and shifted on his seat. ‘You sure you want to do this?’ he said. 

‘Yeah. I mean, I’m gonna have to meet her some day, aren’t I?’

Aaron couldn’t really argue with that logic. ‘Just, like, prepare yourself for the worst.’

Robert nodded, though he didn’t really take Aaron seriously. Chas didn’t know him, and she had never met him. How bad could it be, really? 

Well, the swift slap she dealt him, which left his cheek stinging and red spoke for itself.

‘Mum!’ Aaron yelled. He shoved himself between Chas and Robert, in much the same way he had done with Paddy yesterday. 

‘Get him out of my house!’

‘You don’t even know him!’

‘I don’t need to, Aaron, I heard enough about him.’ She turned her snarl on Robert, and he had to physically stop himself from taking a step back. Aaron’s mother was intimidating on a level he had never known before. ‘Keep away from my son!’

‘Mum, just back off!’ Aaron held Chas by her shoulders, not harshly, but with a firm enough grip that her attention was diverted from Robert for a moment. ‘Just give him a chance. Please.’

‘You deserve better, Aaron.’

Robert sensed Aaron growing agitated with his Mum; he saw the way his shoulders rose around his ears and tensed up. He put his hand on Aaron’s back. ‘Chas,’ he said. ‘Look, I know you don’t trust me because of some things that you heard about me—’

‘Don’t try to—’

‘But I’m not that man. Not anymore. I’m done with the cheating and the lying—I have been for years.’

‘You would say that, wouldn’t you? Katie told me about you: about how you say things that people want to hear, how you manipulate them and make them dance to your tune.’

Aaron shook his head. ‘She’s impossible.’ He took Robert’s hand and tried to pull him away. ‘C’mon, let’s just go.’

‘You’re not going anywhere!’ Chas’s voice was a shrill order. ‘I’m not letting you ruin your life, Aaron!’

Robert winced, though not for himself. ‘Chas, he’s a grown man. He should be allowed to—’

‘No! You don’t get to say what he’s allowed to do and what he’s not! I know what’s best for him!’

‘No, you don’t, Mum!’

‘Aaron—’ Robert tried.

‘No, you shouldn’t have to put up with this,’ Aaron said. He was shaking, and Robert could tell it was taking every ounce of his self-control not to lose it. ‘I’m fed up with her tellin’ me what I can and can’t do.’

‘For your own good, Aaron!’ Chas said. And that really did more harm than good. Aaron was growing redder and redder with each shrill word from Chas’s mouth. Robert cupped his boyfriend’s face, ignoring the daggers Chas was launching with her eyes at his back.

‘Go outside,’ he said. ‘Take a few breaths. Okay?’

Aaron shook his head. ‘No, I’m not leavin’ you here with _her_.’

‘What, you think I can’t handle myself?’ He let a smile pull at his lips. ‘Just try to calm down, yeah?’

He looked into Aaron’s eyes, trying to tell him without words that he’d make this as alright as he could. Eventually, Aaron nodded. He cast one more warning glance at his Mum, and left.

Chas was shaking her head when Robert turned to look at her. ‘I bet you think you’re clever, don’t you?’ she said. ‘Playing the part, being the caring boyfriend.’

‘I do care about him, Chas.’

‘According to Katie, you don’t know _how to_.’

‘Katie had a very… singular view of me. And that was my fault, I accept that. But whatever she may have told you, whether right or wrong, that’s not who I am now.’

‘Please. You can roll a turd in glitter, but it’ll still be the same underneath.’ She took a threatening step towards Robert. ‘I know your sort. Older men, preying on younger ones, trying it on with them.’

Robert’s eyes narrowed. ‘Do you seriously have such a low opinion of Aaron that you think he’d be pulled in by something like that?’

‘I don’t know what kind of tricks you played to get him into your bed.’

‘I don’t have any tricks! I care about him.’

‘Today.’

‘Always.’ He let his breath out slowly. He kind of understood now why Aaron wanted to avoid all this. Even if Robert wasn’t who he was, he had the feeling Chas still wouldn’t give him any better a time of it. ‘Aaron is an adult,’ he said again. ‘And he deserves respect. Not just from you, but from me as well. And he has that.’

There was still the glint of loathing in her eyes. ‘When you break his heart, I’m going to have to be the one to pick up the pieces.’

‘Well you’re going to be waiting a long time,’ Robert said. ‘Because I don’t ever intend on hurting him.’

Behind them, the door opened. Aaron stood in the doorway, looking calmer, but his fist still clenched sporadically by his side when he looked between the two of them.

‘We should go,’ Aaron said. 

‘No, love, please. Just listen to me—’

‘I have been listenin’ to you, Mum. But you’ve not been listenin’ to me.’ He crossed the room and stood next to Robert. ‘I don’t expect your approval, but just accept that I know what I want.’

She shook his head. ‘Not him.’

‘Yeah. Him.’

‘He’ll hurt you, Aaron. He doesn’t know how to do anything else.’

Robert looked down at his feet, more hurt than he could express at the scorn in Chas’s voice, and the fact that she believed every bad word she had heard about him without even getting to know him firsthand.

‘Well then, you and me know two different men,’ Aaron said. Robert glanced at him; his boyfriend straightened his back, and held himself firm. ‘We’re leaving now.’

Aaron tugged on Robert’s hand and, without a backwards look, led him out of the pub back room. 

**** 

They drove. Rain had started to fall, and the streetlights on the road to Hotten reflected their broken orange light in puddles on the tarmac. Aaron was silent on the way back to the car, and he was silent as he waited for Robert to unlock the door. Robert didn’t dare to question him on whether he was doing the right thing. He had meant what he’d said to Chas: Aaron was an adult, and Robert respected what he wanted. What he didn’t want was to cause a fight between his lover and his mother, but it seemed inevitable that it would happen. He wondered how long a fight like that had been brewing between them.

It was a long and quiet drive back to Robert’s place. He pulled up next to Aaron’s car, which was still in the driveway. It struck him how right it looked parked there.

They darted quickly to the house, Robert holding his coat over Aaron’s head, trying to shelter him from the worst of the rain which pelted heavier now. As soon as Robert closed the door behind him, Aaron was in his arms.

‘I’m sorry about her.’ His voice was muffled against Robert’s shoulder. ‘I warned you, didn’t I?’

‘You did.’ Robert kissed Aaron’s damp hair. ‘I’m glad we went to see her, though. And—’ he pulled Aaron back so he could look at him. ‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’

Robert closed his eyes for a moment. ‘No one’s ever stood up for me like that before. Least of all against their parent. It meant a lot to me.’ He smiled as he looked into Aaron’s blue eyes. ‘ _You_ mean a lot to me.’

Aaron swallowed. ‘You too.’

Robert suddenly wasn’t afraid to say the words that he had kept back for so long. He pressed them into Aaron’s skin, and breathed them into his mouth. ‘I love you.’


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your incredible response for the last chapter. It honestly is so overwhelming and amazing to know that people are still enjoying this story as much as they are.
> 
> This chapter is a lot shorter, and very fluffy! See this as a kind of intermission between parts if you like! The next few chapters will deal a lot more with Aaron's past, which a lot of you have been waiting to see (so thank you for your patience!)
> 
> Happy reading! :)

Whatever he had been hoping for, it wasn’t for Aaron to freeze in his arms. It wasn’t for him to pull away and look at him in utter disbelief. Robert swallowed his fear, but he wasn’t going to take it back. 

‘You must’ve known,’ he said, letting a chuckle into his voice to lighten the mood just a bit.

Aaron narrowed his eyes and opened and closed his mouth. ‘I—I didn’t think… I mean, I—’

‘Aaron. I don’t expect anything from you, alright?’ Robert looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes, and hoped he could see the sincerity there. ‘I just—I’m telling you how I feel about you.’

It calmed him, though only a bit. Aaron’s eyes still darted between Robert’s own, and the front door, as though he needed to keep an eye on the exit the entire time. Robert stepped back. He didn’t want to crowd him. Aaron nodded in both understanding and gratitude. 

The silence turned awkward.

Robert cleared his throat. ‘We haven’t had tea yet, I could cook us something?’

‘Yeah. Do—uh, do you mind if I shower first?’

‘No, of course not. Um, you know where everything is. Just take some clothes from my drawer if you want. I’ll wash your stuff later.’

Aaron nodded again. His mouth opened, and he drew a breath as though he wanted to say something. But instead he bit his lip and forced a small smile, and turned away. 

Robert stood frozen in the room. When he heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on, he dropped his head into his hands and breathed out shakily. He thought his confession of love would have drawn them closer together. He didn’t think it would ruin things.

**** 

Aaron stepped into the shower, under the warm water and sighed as it sprayed over his shoulders and back. It wasn’t that Robert’s admission had been a complete surprise: he had thought that something deeper existed between them, but he hadn’t expected Robert would actually tell him that he loved him. And what had Aaron done? If he had just stood there like an idiot it would be bad enough, but he actually backed off. 

He threw his head back and let the water wash over his hair and his face. 

He felt something for Robert, something of course beyond just sex and fondness. But Aaron hadn’t felt anything like this for such a long time, and the last time he did, things had gone so horrifically wrong. Robert was nothing like Tom, that was a given. But Aaron couldn’t help but feel that he was cursed. Nothing good ever came of hearing those three words from his lovers.

When Jackson had told him he’d loved him, Aaron hadn’t been able to say it back, and Jackson had had only so much patience before the lack of return got too much for him. 

When Ed had told him, Aaron had been too afraid _not_ to say it back. Ed had been such a source of strength for him at the time, and Aaron had cared about him, but he hadn’t loved him. But still, he had said it. That was the beginning of their end, really.

Tom… well, Tom was in a devastating league of his own.

And here was Robert: willing to wait, not forcing Aaron into anything, and Aaron did… he did…

He snarled out loud. Even in his head, he couldn’t say it. 

But he _did_. And maybe just knowing it for himself was enough.

**** 

The kitchen smelled of onion and herbs. Aaron tucked the trousers he had borrowed from Robert up to his ankles before he descended the stairs. Robert was cooking; stirring a pan, with another pot boiling next to it. He knew Robert had heard him on the stairs, from the way his shoulders tightened. But he didn’t say a word, and he didn’t even look over his shoulder to smile at him like he normally would. Aaron hated that he had taken something away from their relationship just from a moment’s worth of cowardice. 

Aaron cleared his throat and wringed his hands together as he walked over to Robert. He stood next to him, leaning his back against the counter adjacent to the stove. He tried to look at Robert, but Robert’s eyes were firmly on the pan. Aaron sighed.

‘You won’t even look at me.’

‘I’m cooking.’

Aaron shook his head. ‘Can you just turn that off for a second.’ Robert tightened his grip on the wooden spoon and closed his eyes, but he turned the stove off. Though he still didn’t look at Aaron. Aaron swallowed around a lump in his throat. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t say it back.’

Finally, Robert looked at him. He held Aaron’s eyes for what felt like hours, but could only have been a moment. Then he sighed and seemed to deflate. ‘No, I’m sorry. I said I didn’t expect anything, so.’ He nodded once, as if resigned. ‘It’s okay if you don’t feel the same.’

Aaron’s breath hitched. ‘I didn’t say that.’

‘No, but your response said everything.’ Robert smiled, though it was without joy. ‘It’s okay. Really. I know things are a bit hectic, and maybe they’re moving too fast for you to—’

‘Robert, I do care about you.’

Robert nodded. ‘Yeah I know. Otherwise you wouldn’t still be here.’

That was true. Aaron moved into Robert’s space cautiously, and put his hands on his boyfriend’s waist. Immediately, Robert wrapped himself around Aaron, pressing his hands to Aaron’s back, and his face into his shoulder.

**** 

Whilst cooking dinner, the tension between them had defused. Both of them came to the mutual unspoken understanding that there were still things that needed to be said, but both were willing to wait. After that, they had moved around each other and talked together the same as always, although there was still something pressing on Robert’s heart, but it wasn’t a bad feeling anymore. He still had Aaron, and really that was all that mattered.

Now, sitting around the table, the air felt breathable again.  
Robert watched Aaron as he ate. Even though his head felt more than a bit muddled and vulnerable, he still took pleasure in seeing his boyfriend eat the food that he had prepared. It was nothing special tonight, but still Aaron smiled at him as if he had just prepared the best Michelin-starred meal.

After another two mouthfuls, Aaron pointed to Robert’s own plate with his fork. ‘Eat,’ he said.

‘I am.’ When Aaron gave him a look, he rolled his eyes and shovelled a forkful of pasta into his mouth. ‘Happy?’ he asked through a full mouth.

‘Ecstatic.’ They grinned at each other.

He felt Aaron’s eyes on him as he ate. He stabbed another pasta twist with his fork before opening his mouth to ask what was wrong. But the words never left his mouth. Instead, he watched entranced as Aaron held Robert’s hand and directed the forkful of food towards Aaron’s own mouth. Then Aaron released his hold, and let Robert feed him.

Robert couldn’t breathe. He could barely think. He pulled together enough wherewithal to take the fork from Aaron’s mouth, and then watched as his boyfriend chewed the food which he had fed him. 

Aaron kept his eyes on Robert’s the whole time. He swallowed and licked his lips and a shiver ran down Robert’s spine. ‘Alright?’ Aaron asked softly.

Robert could only nod. How the hell did he get this lucky? How the hell did someone like him deserve someone like Aaron? Someone who not only cared about him, but who showed in so many ways how much he accepted him. Because there was _no way_ Aaron couldn’t possibly have known what that gesture meant to Robert. Being able to cook for him was one thing, and something that he took great pleasure from. Feeding him was something else entirely; it had been something he’d thought about, but had never had the courage to ask for, from any of his lovers. It showed that Aaron not only trusted him, but _knew_ him deeply, and knew what he wanted and craved. Feeding Aaron wasn’t something Robert would do all the time, but tonight, now, with the way that he felt insecure and exposed after all the secrets he’d been forced to tell… the gesture which appealed to his need had shifted and slotted things back into place.

He cupped Aaron’s face and kissed him. Robert knew without a doubt, and even with his feet still hovering precariously above the ground, that this was it. Aaron was it for him and god, did he love him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so amazing! I am so so grateful for the continuing support for this fic. I know I keep saying it, but it really is overwhelming. I've never had this kind of response to anything! 
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than I had originally planned, but I'm hoping to get the next one up quite soon (that's what she said, by the way!). This just seemed like a good place to end it. 
> 
> Smut, fluff and angst in that order! Happy reading :)

Robert stripped Aaron on their way to the sofa. The bedroom was just too far away, and both of them were already desperate for each other. He pushed Aaron down before crawling over him, between Aaron’s open and inviting legs. They kissed until they were breathless, until their lungs began to burn. Robert started to kiss down Aaron’s jaw, his neck, his chest, but Aaron pulled him back up.

‘I’m not gonna last that long,’ he panted. ‘Just—I want you in me. Now.’

Robert groaned, and couldn’t stop himself from pressing a heated, closed-mouthed kiss to Aaron’s lips. ‘Hold on.’ He started to get to his feet, his cock pulsing and straining against his stomach. Aaron licked his lips at the sight, but it didn’t stop a frown of confusion.

‘Where’re you goin’?’

‘Need a condom,’ Robert said. 

Aaron pulled on his arm. ‘No. Don’t—I don’t care.’

‘Aaron—’

‘I’m clean,’ he said without preamble. ‘You?’

‘Yeah. Course.’

‘Well then. Don’t need to waste time then, do we?’ He grinned at Robert, and the older man’s breath caught in his throat. 

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah.’ Aaron’s grin softened to a smile when he realised the implications of what he was asking of Robert. He took Robert’s hand and put it to his own chest. ‘I can’t really imagine doing this with anyone else,’ he said. 

Robert smiled and breathed shakily. ‘God, Aaron.’ He dipped his head and kissed him again. Though unable to say the words, Aaron had proven already that he was just as committed to their relationship as Robert was. He didn’t know if Aaron was ready to hear the words again, so soon after he had freaked out a little the first time. So instead, he pressed his lips to Aaron’s shoulder and mouthed the words into his skin. 

He prepared Aaron quickly but with care. It was enough, and after a few moments, Aaron was nudging Robert’s backside with his heel. ‘C’mon. Robert, c’mon.’

And Robert couldn’t resist. He fell into Aaron’s arms and into Aaron’s body like there was nowhere else he’d rather be, or anywhere else he belonged. He stared in awe at his boyfriend’s face, so open in its pleasure, and it made Robert’s stomach swoop at the thought that he could have this for the rest of his days. He bit his lip against the sudden onslaught of emotions, because no matter how significant the moment, he knew Aaron would never let him live it down if Robert cried whilst they had sex. But it was more than that; or at least to Robert it was: now it felt like making love.

They moved together, breathing each other in, no space between them. Moans fell from Robert’s open mouth, and Aaron gasped and sighed with each thrust of Robert’s hips. Robert kissed Aaron and lowered his hand to bring his lover closer and closer to the edge. Aaron cried out into Robert’s mouth, and raked his blunt fingernails down Robert’s arms. He moaned against Robert’s lips, and the vibrations of Aaron’s low, gruff voice unfurling in Robert’s mouth made his toes curl. 

‘I’m—I’m gonna—’ Aaron couldn’t even finish his sentence before he was arching his back and coating Robert’s fist with warm cum. Aaron moaned and writhed, and his tightening heat around him dragged Robert’s own orgasm out of him. He trembled through it, and was only aware on the edge of his consciousness that Aaron was stroking his arms and his shoulders. Eventually, Robert stilled. He collapsed onto Aaron, knocking the last of the breath out of him.

Aaron lazily flung his leg over Robert’s and grazed his toes up and down Robert’s calf, making the older man shiver. ‘Fuck, Robert,’ Aaron breathed.

‘Hmmyeah. Am I good or what.’

Aaron snorted a laugh and hit Robert’s arm with the little strength that he had. Robert chuckled and raised his head just enough to kiss Aaron warmly. This… this was everything he could have wanted.

**** 

They had showered together, spending nearly an hour under the spray which by the end had started to lose its warmth. When Aaron had dropped to his knees in front of Robert though, he decided it was well worth it. 

‘I’d better go home,’ Aaron said later. It was evening, and he was all too aware that if he didn’t turn up for work the next day, Cain would likely fire him. Or at least dock his wages until Chas got on at him.

‘No, stay,’ Robert said. They were curled up on the sofa together, the television on but neither of them paying it much attention. Robert carded his fingers through Aaron’s hair, and the younger man melted into the feeling. ‘I’ll drive you back tomorrow.’

Aaron raised his head from Robert’s chest, and smiled at him. ‘I wish I could. But I’m already on thin ice with Mum as it is. If I don’t go home tonight she’ll do her nut.’ He kissed Robert, chastely at first but as with most of their kisses, it soon became heated. Aaron pulled back before Robert could get a hand under his shirt. ‘I really do need to go,’ he said.

‘Okay.’ Robert pecked Aaron’s lips one last time. It didn’t escape Aaron’s notice how Robert held onto his hand until the last possible second, until Aaron had rounded the sofa to collect his coat and shoes. He grabbed his car keys from the same bowl that Robert threw his own into, just inside the front door. When he was ready, he found Robert leaning against the sofa, hands in his pockets. ‘Text me when you’re home,’ he said. ‘Just so I know you’re safe.’

Aaron nodded. He stepped into Robert’s space, and his boyfriend immediately put his hands on Aaron’s waist. ‘Do me a favour?’ Aaron said. ‘Talk to Wendy.’ 

Robert’s face immediately dropped and his walls went up. ‘Aaron, it’s—’

‘You asked me to let you meet my Mum, and we did.’

‘And I got a slap for it! It wasn’t exactly a _treat_.’

‘You knew what you were getting into!’ Aaron laughed, but he kissed Robert’s cheek nonetheless. ‘That was something that you wanted me to do for you, and this is something I want you to do for me.’

Robert sighed. ‘Aaron, it’s not as simple as that.’

‘Why?’ Aaron was genuinely bewildered. ‘I know that she told me something that you didn’t want me to know right now, but… well, I’m glad she did. We’re alright, aren’t we?’

‘Of course we are.’ He said it in a way that told Aaron he didn’t even need to ask that question. Robert shook his head. ‘It’s just… I don’t trust very easily, and she broke that trust.’

Aaron nodded and bit his lip. ‘The thing is… she seemed like a good friend to you, and I hate the thought that you lost her. I hate the thought that _I_ was the reason you lost her.’

Robert tutted, but tightened his hold on Aaron’s waist in a comforting gesture. ‘Baby, you’re not the reason I lost her. And I haven’t lost her; I just haven’t spoken to her yet.’

‘Well, will you? Speak to her?’ Aaron continued. ‘You don’t have a family here, Robert. I don’t like the thought of you being alone.’

‘I’m not alone.’

Aaron couldn’t stop the soft smile from spreading his lips. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘Yeah.’ He exhaled, long and hard. ‘I’ll call her. Tomorrow.’

‘Promise?’

‘Yeah.’ When Aaron glared at him, Robert huffed a laugh. ‘Promise.’

**** 

Aaron took a deep breath before he left the relative safety of his car. He had driven as slowly as he could to Emmerdale, but he still got here too soon for his liking. The pub was still lit up, being not even 9pm yet. If he was lucky, he could sneak in around the side and up to his room without his Mum being any the wiser. Of course, though, luck wasn’t on his side.

‘Aaron?’

Said man winced at the sound of his Mum’s voice. He closed the door behind him and leaned his head against it for a second. 

‘Aaron? Is that you?’

‘Yeah.’

Chas appeared in the doorway, arms folded and eyes devoid of makeup. It hit Aaron then that she had probably been crying. He felt a stab of guilt. ‘Look, love—’

‘No, Mum,’ Aaron held up his hand. ‘Just don’t start, alright. I just had a really good evening with Robert, so—’ Chas’s mouth turned down in a sneer. ‘Can you just stop with that, please?’

‘With what?’

‘As if just the sound of his name is enough to make you sick! It’s petty!’

‘He’s not right for you, Aaron.’

‘How do you know? You knew him _then_.’

‘I just don’t want to see you hurt again, Aaron! I—I can’t do it.’ Aaron rolled his eyes and made to walk away. Chas’s voice raised in a shrill yell halted his steps. ‘Don’t you walk away from me! We were the ones who had to pick up the pieces after Tom!’

He whirled on his feet to face her. ‘Do you think I don’t know that?’ Aaron snarled. ‘Do you think I don’t remember what it was like with him? That I didn’t have to get up and check my bedroom door almost every night for a year to make sure it wasn’t locked? I remember, Mum! I remember what he did to me, and I remember what you did as well! But Robert isn’t like that!’

‘How can you be sure? Tom didn’t seem like it either, did he? Look how that turned out!’

‘I can’t talk to you about this!’ Tears streamed down Aaron’s face, but he didn’t even seem to notice. ‘I’ve just come back from my boyfriend’s house. He has just told me that he _loves me_. I’m not gonna let you or Tom ruin that!’

He ran upstairs, ignoring Chas’s shouts of his name, her apologies, everything. Aaron collapsed to his knees beside his bed, curling up on himself and crying; weeping. His breath caught on every inhale, but he couldn’t calm himself down. Every thought led back to Chas and to Tom. Almost every one…

He fumbled for his phone, unlocking it, hands shaking. He brought up the last messages he and Robert had exchanged. They were nothing more than goodbyes, after Aaron had wished him a happy birthday. But he read them over, and just imagining Robert’s voice in his ear brought him a bit of calm. He breathed easier, his mind started to clear of the suffocating fog which had descended as soon as Chas had mentioned Tom. 

It wasn’t just that Chas didn’t understand, Aaron thought. It was that she _refused_ to understand what Robert meant to him, and refused point blank to see that he had changed from the man she’d known. Aaron typed out a quick message to Robert, telling him he was home before climbing into bed.

It was early, but exhaustion weighed heavy on Aaron’s mind and body both. Thoughts chased themselves around his head like a dog chasing its own tail. He tried to focus on Robert’s voice before he gave into sleep, tried to remember his touch. He drifted off…

… And woke up in a cold sweat hours later, the lights off, the pub quiet. Everything quiet, in fact. Aaron got up and went to his door. He turned the handle. It was locked…

…He gasped and bolted upright. Tripping over his legs and his duvet, Aaron rushed to his door and tried the handle. He almost sobbed with relief when the door opened. He dragged himself back to bed and lie down. But he didn’t sleep. 

It was the first night in a year that he’d had a nightmare.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop writing!! Thank you all so so much for your comments and kudos for last chapter! And thank you all for 1000+ kudos! You guys are insane! 
> 
> This chapter is quite dark. I've added new tags, and please also be aware that there is a brief - very very brief - moment of physical violence. It may be triggering, so please just be aware that it's there. And again, please just heed the new tags that I've added. 
> 
> That said, happy reading! :)

Aaron barely slept that night. He kept waking at the slightest sound: the creak of Chas’s bed down the hallway, a lone pair of footsteps outside the pub, the brush of leaves and thin branches against his bedroom window. 

It was 4am when he gave up on trying to sleep. His eyes were dry and gritty, his limbs weak and shaky. But he sat up in bed and felt around for his phone. Robert had texted him back and Aaron—despite the way his head ached and filled with terrible memories—couldn’t help a smile. Robert cared so much for him. Where had he been four years ago? Where had he been when Aaron’s eye had been caught by Tom in Bar West and was taken completely by him? Where had he been when things had started to go wrong? Aaron’s body shook with a repressed sob. 

He needed Robert. He needed to hear his voice.

But it was four o’clock in the morning, he reminded himself. 

He put the phone back on his bedside cabinet and got out of bed. He went downstairs and put the television on, turned it down low and closed the door. Then he sat for the next three hours in front of the screen, losing himself bit by bit.

**** 

Robert woke, having dreamt about Aaron, but not the pleasurable kind of dream. He woke up feeling… disconcerted, as if something was wrong. He tried to hold on to his dream, but it would have been easier to pin down the moving tide. He checked his phone. Aaron hadn’t texted him. He didn’t really know what he was expecting. Nonetheless, he messaged his boyfriend, a simple greeting, and a wish for a good day.

He had dressed, had had breakfast and was almost out the door ready for work before he got a reply, but Robert thought nothing of it. Aaron overslept sometimes, and he likely had to run out the door with his toothbrush still in his mouth. 

When he got to work, Clive was waiting at Robert’s desk. Robert—bearing no grudge towards his friend—smiled at him, but raised his brow.

‘Alright?’ he asked.

Clive nodded. ‘Look, Wendy feels terrible about Saturday,’ he said. Saturday; the party. Had it really only been a few days ago? So much had happened. ‘She didn’t call you over the weekend because… well, because she didn’t want to make things awkward.’

Robert sighed. He _had_ promised Aaron he’d talk to Wendy today. ‘I’ll call her today,’ he said. Clive’s look of relief didn’t go unnoticed. ‘I don’t want to fight with her. She’s a good friend. I mean, questionable on Saturday, but still.’

‘Rob, she feels _terrible_.’

He nodded. ‘I’ll call her,’ he said again. It was as good as a dismissal, and Clive understood. He gave Robert a small, grateful smile and went back to his own desk. Of course, Robert would have preferred an apology from Wendy herself, but at least this was her extending the olive branch. He wouldn’t have stayed mad at her forever: they both were much too old to be bearing grudges like that. And besides that, Wendy was a good friend. She had been for years. He resolved to call her and maybe arrange a lunch date for today.

**** 

‘Oi, sunshine! I don’t pay you to loll about all day.’

Aaron jerked back to the present, his uncle’s sharp voice scattering his thoughts like a sudden movement scattering birds. ‘I am working,’ he groused. ‘But there’s nothin’ to do.’

Dan jutted his chin at the youngest member of staff in the garage. ‘On _your_ side of the garage maybe. I’ve got my hands full ‘ere.’

Cain stood next to Aaron expectantly. When his nephew did nothing, he frowned. ‘Are you waiting for a written invitation or something? Go and help Dan, will you.’

Frustration bubbled, but Aaron tamped it down as best he could. It would do no one any good to give in to the anger or the frustration, least of all himself. He set his jaw and picked up a wrench, and got to work.

**** 

Wendy was standing awkwardly by the door of the coffee place she and Robert frequented during their lunch hour. Robert breathed deep, gathering all of his goodwill. It hadn’t escaped his notice, when he called Wendy, how relieved she sounded. Nor could he ignore how pleased Clive looked when Robert strode out of the office at lunch time. Clearly his wife had already told him that she was meeting him.

‘Hiya,’ Robert said. 

A cautious smile crept onto Wendy’s face. ‘Hey, you.’ She brushed her short brown hair away from her forehead. It was one of her tells: anyone who knew her well enough knew that Wendy played with her hair when she was nervous. She waved inside, asking silently if he was still up for talking to her. He nodded in return.

They queued in awkward silence. Luckily, it was busy in the café, as it always was, and so crickets were the last thing they would have been able to hear. Once seated with their drinks, Robert cleared his throat.

‘Clive told me you felt… bad about Saturday.’

She smiled, and there was a bit of relief that he had started the conversation hidden behind her lip gloss. ‘That’s an understatement,’ she chuckled self-deprecatingly. ‘I feel terrible, Rob. I never meant to say all that stuff to Aaron. I know that he’s not like her. From the moment I saw him, I knew it.’

‘So why say it?’

‘Because I worry about you anyway. You’re like a brother to me, Robert. And even though I know that Aaron’s good for you, a part of me still didn’t want you to risk it.’

‘You told my boyfriend that he was just with me for my money,’ Robert hissed. 

‘I know.’ Her eyes were starting to well up, and Wendy blinked the tears away, though a stray one fell down her cheek. She wiped it away impatiently. ‘I know. And when I remembered what I’d done… god, Robert, I felt so terrible. And so stupid.’ Robert nodded, but said nothing. He felt Wendy’s eyes on him though, as he sipped his Americano. ‘Honestly, if there was anything I could do to make it up to you, I would, or even better, go back in time and keep my mouth shut, I’d do it in a heartbeat.’ Robert still said nothing. ‘So where does this leave us?’

Robert exhaled in a long, drawn out sigh. ‘Well, lucky for you—and me—Aaron didn’t go running for the hills.’ He shook his head. ‘I know you were drunk, Wend, but I _trusted_ you. You know I don’t trust easily.’

‘I know.’ Wendy’s eyes were wide. The sincerity and guilt were all too easy to see. ‘And I can never say enough that I’m sorry, Rob. Our friendship means so much to me.’

Had this been a decades ago; had he been the same angry, vengeful teenager and never grown up, never discovered who he was, and never found the friends who stood by him through some of his most difficult years during and after Louise, he would have got up from the table and never looked back.

But Robert was different now. And it was thanks, in no small part, to the woman opposite him. And Aaron of course. Aaron was still changing him, and would continue to change Robert in ways he could never imagine. So he nodded and said, ‘it means a lot to me, too.’ And they started over.

**** 

Aaron backed away from the garage. His legs were shaking; so were his hands. His head had been filled with nothing but Tom all day. Things he had said to Aaron, things he had done. Aaron had tried so hard to remain calm today. 

Just like he had tried so hard _so hard_ to be right for Tom, but it had never been enough. Aaron was too stubborn or too pitiful. He was too stupid or too outspoken. He was too distant or too indifferent. 

He felt suddenly sick, suddenly sick to his stomach. Bile rose in his throat, but he bit it back. He doubled over, breathing heavily between clenched teeth. He wasn’t thinking straight, his mind overrun with horrific memories of locked doors and a scornful voice. He wasn’t thinking when he fumbled his phone out of his pocket. Or when he scrolled to Robert’s name. He just called him and pressed the phone to his ear.

‘Hey, Baby.’

The relief was almost instant. Aaron fell back against the wall and slid down it. He breathed through tears and his slowly receding panic.

‘Aaron?’ Robert’s voice was anxious. ‘Aaron?’

‘H-hey.’ Aaron lowered the phone to take a breath. ‘Y’alright?’

‘… Yeah. Are you okay? You sound… off.’

Aaron wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He forced a chuckle into his voice. ‘Yeah, thanks. It’s just been a long day.’

‘Okay.’

He wanted to ask Robert to come and fetch him. He wanted to ask him to take him away from Emmerdale, and his Mum who would ask questions. But he hesitated, because what if Robert didn’t want him? What if he rejected him?

In the end, he didn’t have to ask.

‘Do you want me to come and get you?’

Aaron wept harder, but pulled himself together to accept. ‘Yeah. Please.’

**** 

He sent a message to his Mum to say he’d be out. The last thing he wanted was another confrontation. Aaron walked to the cricket pavilion, leaning against the railings and looking out over the field. He used to come here all the time. When things were going bad, he’d come here. Sometimes Adam would find him, sometimes he wouldn’t. Sometimes Aaron would send Adam away, craving some time alone. 

When Tom locked the door, when Aaron was at home alone, both fearing the outside world and yet wanting it so badly, he’d come here in his mind. He’d sit on the floor by the bed and stare at the wall so that he didn’t have to see anything that belonged to Tom. He’d sit there and after a while, he’d go away. In his mind, he’d escape to the cricket pavilion, and he’d be leaning against the railing and looking out over the fields. He’d stay there for hours, doing nothing; just enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face.

Then Tom would come home, and Aaron would start to shiver.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and Aaron jumped, pulled back to the present. He wasn’t with Tom, he reminded himself. He was with a man who loved him, who was nothing like his ex. 

_R: I’m nearly there, Baby. Where are you?_

_A: Wait just outside the village. I’ll be there in five_

He walked briskly, hoping not to encounter anyone who knew him. When he saw Robert’s car parked near to the ‘leaving Emmerdale’ sign, Aaron felt his shoulders start to relax. He got into the car, and immediately leant over to kiss Robert.

‘You alright?’ Robert asked, but it wasn’t his usual greeting. This held worry and something like unease. Aaron hated hearing that in his voice, so he nodded.

‘Yeah. Long day.’

Robert didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push. He gave Aaron one last look, though, before starting the car and heading for Hotten.

**** 

They were sitting in the living room. Aaron had wanted a distraction, but not sex right now. Robert hadn’t said a word, though his face said that he had filed it away under ‘things to worry about’. Instead, they played the only board game that Robert owned: Trivial Pursuit. Aaron had laughed at him lightly. ‘You’re such an old man,’ he had said. Robert had looked hurt for all of one second, until Aaron kissed him and winked. ‘I like it.’

‘I spoke to Wendy today,’ Robert said as he took his turn. Aaron looked at him expectantly. ‘We’re taking it slow, but I think things are gonna be okay.’

Aaron smiled and nudged Robert. ‘Told you, didn’t I. Although, to be fair, I didn’t think you’d actually listen to me.’

Robert chuckled. ‘Why wouldn’t I? You talk a lot of sense.’ He gave Aaron a look. ‘Sometimes.’ He smiled. Aaron just rolled his eyes.

It was when it was Aaron’s turn that it happened. Everything was perfectly fine, until Aaron stuttered over a question about the rain cycle. Robert smiled incredulously. ‘You’re having me on! You must know this!’

Aaron’s head whipped up at the condescending tone in Robert’s voice. With that, all thoughts of anything else fled his mind. He froze, and Robert took his silence as a lack of knowledge. 

‘How did you not know that?’ Robert’s voice was gently mocking, but it still made Aaron on edge. It made him think of another voice, another tone, not so gentle.

‘I just didn’t alright? It’s just a question.’

‘Yeah, I know. But it’s, like, one of the first things you learn in school.’

Aaron’s hackles rose. He tried to push the anger back down, but every word out of Robert’s mouth sounded demeaning and served to make his blood boil even as he felt a wave of fear wash over him. He curled in on himself, and Robert must have noticed that, if not anything else. ‘It’s not a big deal,’ Robert was saying. ‘I just thought that everyone knew it.’

‘Shut up about it then.’

His voice came out harsher than he meant it to, and it was picked up by Robert, who paused in taking his turn. ‘Hey, calm down. I was only messing with you.’

‘Just shut up, Robert.’ His hands were shaking. Anger flared in his mind like sparks in a fire.

‘I’m just teasing, Aaron.’

And that was how it started wasn’t it? Messing, teasing, mocking. Bit by bit until Aaron felt like a complete fool and that was when he would be left open to any attack. Robert shook his head. And it was suddenly Tom’s voice instead of Robert’s, and Tom’s face that Aaron saw, and Tom laughing at him scornfully, telling him what an idiot he was, how _useless_ and pathetic he was, and—

‘So you can dish it out, but can’t take it?’ He chuckled, though the way Aaron heard it, it wasn’t good-natured. ‘You don’t need to be such a child about it.’

Aaron cracked. 

He shoved the table back, upending everything on it. ‘JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!’ He jolted from the floor, and headed for the door. Robert was there instantly, holding him, trying to calm him down. But in his frenzied, panicked state of mind, Aaron thought he was trying to hold him down, trying to keep Aaron from his one escape route. ‘GET OFF ME!’ he roared. ‘GET OFF!’

‘Aaron!’ Robert tried to get in front of him, tried to get Aaron to look into his eyes, to see that it was him, that it was _Robert_. ‘Baby, it’s okay.’

‘No! No get off me!’ He lashed out, and caught Robert’s jaw with his fist. He didn’t know if it was that contact or Robert’s pained yell that pulled him out of his fog. Aaron breathed; great gasping breaths. He forced himself to look at Robert, expecting to see betrayal in his eyes; hatred, even. But his knees weakened when he saw only concern there. ‘Rob,’ he whispered.

Robert put his hand out tentatively, as if Aaron were a wild animal. ‘Baby,’ he said. ‘Are—are you back with me?’

Aaron stumbled back a step. His breath was short.

‘I’m not gonna hurt you,’ Robert said. He dropped his hand again. His jaw was starting to bruise, and Aaron noticed a corresponding pain in his own hand. It wasn’t why Aaron had backpedalled. He felt ashamed of himself. Bile burned his throat. What had he done? He had never lashed out at anyone before. Not even Tom.

‘Robert. I—I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—’

‘It’s okay. It’s alright.’ 

It wasn’t, and it shouldn’t have been. But Robert knew that something had triggered that reaction within Aaron, and he was trying to make it okay. Tears blurred Aaron’s vision. ‘Hey,’ Robert said gently. ‘Honestly, I’m fine.’

But Aaron shook his head. ‘No. No, you—I shouldn’t have—god why did I do that?’

Robert deflated. ‘No, you’re right: you shouldn’t have.’ He reached for Aaron again and cupped his jaw. ‘What happened?’

The younger man flinched, and Robert immediately removed contact from him, though his worried eyes remained on Aaron’s.

Something creaked in the kitchen, and Aaron jumped. ‘Sh sh, it’s okay.’ His heart was galloping almost painfully in his chest. Tom suddenly invaded his mind and Aaron had to crush the heels of his hands to his eyes, but it still wouldn’t stop him seeing him.

‘Aaron?’ Robert said it so tentatively. ‘Let me help you, come on.’

Robert’s hand pressed on Aaron’s elbow, and Aaron let himself be guided back to the sofa. He sat heavily. He still had his hands on his eyes. He breathed heavily, trying to calm his heart. 

‘Aaron. Baby, please look at me.’

Why was Robert still here? Why was he being so kind to him? Aaron had punched him, had yelled at him, had shown Robert what a complete and utter nutcase he was. Why hadn’t he kicked him out yet? Aaron flinched when Robert touched his arm again.

‘Aaron, just—just please tell me what I did wrong.’ His voice was trembling. Robert didn’t deserve this. He had been through enough. He didn’t need someone as fucked up as Aaron in his life. 

‘I need to go,’ Aaron muttered. He lowered his hands, and only then did he realise he was crying. ‘I need to… I need to go home.’

Robert said nothing for a moment. ‘Okay. Um, if that’s what you want.’ Aaron just nodded. ‘Let me just get my keys and—’

‘No. I—I’ll get the bus.’

‘I’m not letting you out alone in this state!’

Aaron flinched.

Robert closed his eyes. ‘Sorry.’ He leaned in to him, as close as he dared. ‘Aaron, Baby, please. What did I do?’

Aaron breathed shakily, his breath hitching and tears still running down his face. ‘It—it’s not you,’ he said. ‘It’s _him_.’

‘Him?’ 

Aaron pressed his fists to his forehead and gritted his teeth. ‘He—he _won’t leave me alone_.’

‘Who?’ Robert’s voice was painted with concern. ‘Aaron, let me help. Who?’

He pushed the name through gritted teeth; he had to force it past the bile in his throat. ‘Tom.’

‘Tom? Your… your last boyfriend?’

Aaron nodded. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, but still the tears kept coming. He hadn’t felt this vulnerable in years. He felt sick. ‘I thought I’d got rid of him. But he’s still there.’

‘What did he do to you?’

That was… Aaron couldn’t answer that. Not fully. He shook his head.

‘Aaron, I need to know what I did.’

He opened and closed his mouth. Talking about Tom again, voicing the things that had happened to him… Aaron trembled. But Robert’s hand on his own gave him some strength, even now. ‘Sometimes, he—he’d talk to me, say things to me about… about how I didn’t know certain things, and that I was stupid, and—’

‘Oh, god, and I did that.’ Robert thankfully joined the dots without Aaron having to spell it out to him. ‘Aaron, I am _so so sorry_. I didn’t mean—I’m sorry.’

Aaron shook his head. ‘It’s not your fault.’ He chanced a glance at Robert’s face, and winced at the sight of the bruise on his jaw. ‘If you want me to go, I will. I know that you probably don’t want someone like me around.’

Robert frowned. ‘What?’

‘Someone who’s… you know.’ He waved at his own temple. _**Crazy, nuts, insane.**_

‘I don’t want you to go.’

Aaron looked at him sharply. ‘Robert, I’m giving you the chance to run a mile!’

‘And I’m taking my chances with you.’

‘ _Why?_ Why would you want to stay?’

‘Because I love you. You idiot.’ He moved, righting the table so he could sit on it, facing Aaron. ‘I’m here, alright? No matter what, I’m here.’


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the extremely slow update! Things have been very hectic in real life at the moment! As always, thank you guys so so much for the amazing feedback on the previous chapter! I hope you enjoy this one. 
> 
> Some warnings for this: Aaron discusses some of the emotional abuse he suffered at the hands of Tom. It's nothing graphic, but it could be triggering for some people.

Time seemed meaningless to Aaron as he lay in Robert’s arms on the sofa. Everything, in fact, seemed to fall into oblivion but for Robert’s fingers in his hair, the quiet and gentle breaths which brushed his skin as Robert kissed his cheek, the quiet murmuring of Robert’s voice as he spoke comforting nonsense; the vibrations Aaron felt like a constant baseline hum throughout his whole body. He felt _safe_. Safe and loved and wanted.

Aaron breathed deep, breathed in Robert’s scent, breathed the same air as him. He felt as though his very bones could meld with Robert’s right now. When he started to talk, it was in stops and starts, and for every pause, Robert kissed his hair, his temple, his cheek. He never pushed, and for that Aaron was grateful. He had a counsellor and parents for pushing him to talk; he didn’t need it from Robert. All he needed was for him to be there; which he was.

‘He used to talk down to me,’ Aaron said. ‘We’d go out with his friends—always his, never mine—and he’d… he’d laugh about me and talk about me as if I wasn’t there. His friends laughed, and he encouraged it. He apologised when we went home—or for a while he did, anyway—but it didn’t stop him from doing it again.’

Robert’s fingers were soft as they slid from Aaron’s hair to his neck, squeezing gently. His voice, hard and tense, was a stark contrast to them when he said, ‘He’s a sick bastard, Aaron. And a coward. He’s a sick son of a bitch who didn’t know how to treat you right. He didn’t deserve you.’

Aaron closed his eyes. ‘I used to think I deserved him,’ he whispered.

Robert froze. ‘What?’

‘I… when I came out to Paddy… I was… I beat him up and…’ he swallowed around the lump in his throat. ‘God, I was disgusting to him. After everything he’d done for me. And I wasn’t a good boyfriend to Jackson. I lied to Ed.’ He let out a shaky breath. ‘I used to believe that Tom was, like, karma, you know? That I had done all those bad things, and that was my punishment.’

‘No one deserves that, Aaron.’ Robert moved and tilted Aaron’s head until Aaron looked at him. ‘Especially not you.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Counselling helped me with that. But… the thoughts were already planted in my head, and sometimes… sometimes I can’t help it when they’re right there.’

‘I know, Baby.’ Robert pressed his lips to Aaron’s forehead. ‘Is there anything I can do? To help you?’

‘Just… be there. Do what you’re doing now. But don’t treat me like glass either, I get enough of that at home.’ He swallowed around what felt like a boulder lodged in his throat. ‘And sometimes I may be difficult or take things the wrong way. It’s not me when that happens.’

Robert nodded. ‘Okay.’ He bent lower and kissed Aaron’s lips. ‘I’m always gonna be here. No matter what, and whatever you need.’

Aaron studied him for a long moment. Robert could have made him leave. He didn’t sign up for this: for a boyfriend who was likely more trouble than he was worth. After what Robert had been through with Louise, he deserved someone easier, but instead he got someone messed up. But he was still here. Robert was still here, and he was still in love with Aaron. And maybe, just maybe, loving Robert wasn’t as scary as he’d feared.

‘Do you want to stay here tonight?’ Robert asked. ‘It’s getting late.’

‘Yeah. If that’s all right with you?’

‘Of course it is.’ 

Robert made to get up, but Aaron kept his hand on his shoulder before reaching up and stroking Robert’s jaw, wincing as he did. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered. 

Robert took Aaron’s hand and kissed his knuckles. ‘I know you are, Baby.’

‘What if it happens again?’ Tears were gathering in Aaron’s eyes, but they didn’t fall. ‘I hate that I hurt you.’

‘We’ll deal with it,’ Robert said, as if it was really that simple. ‘I know it won’t be easy. But we will deal with it.’

****

They showered separately. The whole time that the water was running, Robert made himself sit in the bedroom, rather than outside the bathroom door to listen out for any sound of Aaron in distress. Thoughts chased themselves around his head. Thoughts of what Aaron had been through—Robert knew somehow that his boyfriend hadn’t told him everything—and thoughts of how they could get through this. Hanging over it all was the overwhelming need to make sure that Aaron was all right. Or, as all right as he could be. 

It was fifteen minutes before the shower turned off. Another five before the door opened. Robert forced himself to remain seated until Aaron walked into the bedroom. He didn’t want to crowd him, or smother him. But he didn’t hide how concerned he was about Aaron, either. He caught Aaron’s hand in his own and drew him over to the bed. He went willingly, and bent at the waist to kiss Robert. 

When they parted, Robert leaned his head against Aaron’s stomach. He was dressed in just a pair of loose pyjama bottoms. Goosepimples brushed his flesh delicately. ‘You smell good,’ he murmured. He kissed his boyfriend’s skin; chaste and simple: enough that Aaron could stop it if he wanted to, but enough that he knew that Robert still wanted him; would _always_ want him. Aaron’s stomach rippled as he chuckled lightly, and Robert pulled back, smiling up at him. ‘You’re gorgeous.’

Aaron’s smile turned strained, and Robert loosened his hold so that he could back off if he wanted to. In thanks, his boyfriend kissed him again, lightly, before putting on a t-shirt.

‘I’d better shower,’ Robert said. ‘You can get in bed if you want.’

Aaron bit his lip. ‘Can I come in with you? Sit in the bathroom or something?’

‘Yeah. ‘Course you can. Is everything okay?’

He nodded. ‘Just didn’t want to be alone right now.’

Robert took his hand without another word. Aaron sat on the closed lid of the toilet. Robert felt his eyes on him as he undressed, but for once it didn’t feel sexual. Oh, there was always a layer of lust which existed beneath the surface between them. It couldn’t not. But the steady gaze of his boyfriend tonight felt like Aaron needed the reassurance. 

For the first few moments, as Robert dampened his hair and washed it, they shared the room in silence. When he reached for the soap, though, that was when Aaron started speaking again.

‘He used to lock the door,’ he said. It was quiet, but loud enough to be heard over the spray of the shower. Robert stopped what he was doing to listen, but when he did, Aaron said nothing. When he continued with all of the motions of his shower, his boyfriend spoke again, voice a low rumble which Robert felt through his feet as much as heard. ‘It got to the point that… that I didn’t want to go out with him. Because I was scared… he _made_ me scared.’ His words and his breaths were shaking. Robert longed to hold him, but knew that if he stopped now, Aaron would probably not talk again, and more than anything he believed his boyfriend needed to get this off his chest. ‘He… because he’d talk down to me, I started getting—getting anxious, you know? About, like, goin’ out. ‘Cause I knew that it would happen again. I couldn’t—I couldn’t go out. Not to see my family, or to—to work. None of that. And he’d throw it back in my face. He said how—how worthless I was ‘cause I wasn’t workin’, but he wouldn’t let me leave either—’

His voice broke, and Robert couldn’t take any more. He stepped out of the shower and took Aaron in his arms, not caring that he was naked and dripping water everywhere. He held Aaron close as his boyfriend shook and trembled. ‘It’s okay, Baby. I’ve got you. I’m here.’

‘He—he locked the door when he left home,’ Aaron said. His voice was muffled against Robert’s skin. ‘I couldn’t get out. He wouldn’t let me. And I was so scared.’

He held Aaron tighter. How could anyone even _think_ about harming Aaron? How did they live with themselves? Had this been a decade or more ago, he would have sworn bloody vengeance on anyone who had hurt Aaron like that, but now all Robert wanted was to protect him and make Aaron feel safe. He buried a kiss in Aaron’s soft hair.

‘You’re safe here, Aaron. I promise you, you’re safe here.’

Aaron nodded. ‘I know.’ Robert’s heart swelled. He bit back his own tears. This was about Aaron, not about him or even them. 

Once the younger man had calmed, Robert reached over and turned off the shower. 

‘Think you can get some rest?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘I can try.’

Robert dried himself quickly and wrapped the towel around his waist. When they returned to the bedroom, Aaron slid under the covers fully clothed, so Robert took that as his cue to get dressed as well, donning a pair of boxers and a loose t-shirt before crawling in beside Aaron. He tried to stay awake until Aaron himself was asleep; tried to focus on his boyfriend’s breathing and listening for any hitches, or if it deepened as he rested. But the quiet of the room and the warmth of Aaron around him was enough to make Robert drift off first. 

He woke to the bed dipping and the mattress springs pinging.

‘Aaron?’ Immediately the movement stopped. ‘Hey,’ he whispered. ‘Are you awake?’

‘Yeah,’ was the reluctant reply. ‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.’

‘Don’t be silly. C’mere.’ He pulled on Aaron’s arm until he was draped over Robert’s chest. Robert tried to stifle a yawn, but couldn’t quite manage it. ‘Have you slept at all?’

‘Not really.’ Aaron’s fingers played with the material of Robert’s shirt, his fingertips nudging every now and then against his skin. Robert almost fell asleep again, when Aaron spoke. ‘I didn’t sleep well last night either. I had a nightmare.’ In the quiet of the room, Robert heard him swallow; heard his throat working around a lump of reluctance. ‘I wanted to call you, but it was four in the morning.’

‘You should have called, Baby,’ Robert said without pause. ‘Anytime, all right? I don’t care if it’s four in the morning, or four in the afternoon. I’ll be there for you. Even if it’s just to talk.’

Aaron sat up. There was clear frustration and guilt on his face; Robert could see it easily enough even in just the orange light of the streetlamp outside. ‘You shouldn’t have to,’ he said. ‘You didn’t sign up for this.’

‘Sign up for what?’

‘This. Me. I’m messed up, Robert.’

Robert sat up as well, moving until he was sitting beside him. He rubbed soothing circles into Aaron’s back. He kissed his clothed shoulder, and then his ear. ‘Aaron… I love you. You having a—a bad past doesn’t change that.’

‘It should. I’m not easy to love, Robert.’

Robert’s back stiffened. He felt anger curl hot and dangerous in his stomach, and had to be sure not to let it show in his voice. ‘Did Tom tell you that?’

Aaron looked at him, then looked away and nodded. 

‘Loving you, Aaron, was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.’ He kissed his cheek, and wasn’t really surprised to find his boyfriend’s skin wet, as tears trickled down into his beard. ‘Tom hurt you, Baby. It doesn’t mean that you’re difficult to love.’ 

Aaron rested his weight against Robert’s chest. Robert held him there and let the moment pass, burying kisses and soothing words into Aaron’s skin. Eventually, his boyfriend’s breaths evened and deepened, and Robert fell back carefully onto the mattress, trying not to jostle Aaron too much. 

It wasn’t lost on him; the amount of trust Aaron must have had in him. Tom was nothing short of a monster, and Aaron had borne the brunt of his temper and anger for far too long. That was enough to change a person, and to change their outlook on others as well, but despite all that, Aaron was kind and gentle. He was accepting and generous. Part of him wanted to find Tom; hunt him down and hurt him the way he had hurt Aaron. But another part, the larger part, wanted nothing more than to protect the man he had come to love and care about above everything else.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the amazing reaction and feedback for the previous chapter! I was worried about it because of the content, but you are all so endlessly kind! 
> 
> This chapter is round two (kind of) of Robert vs Chas, where conversations are had and realisations are made. Happy reading!

They were both still tired a few hours later when Robert’s alarm went off and woke them. A light spring breeze set the curtain rustling gently and filtered into the room. Robert burrowed down further into the bed covers and, finding Aaron facing away from him, nuzzled his nose against Aaron’s neck. He had woken periodically through the night to check on his boyfriend, but each time Aaron had been asleep—or was making a good act of it.

Aaron shifted a little, then let out a sleepy murmur. He turned his head sharply. Robert kissed his shoulder. ‘It’s me.’ Immediately he relaxed. Robert kissed him again. ‘Morning.’

‘Morning.’ Aaron shuffled and moved until he was facing Robert. His eyes were half-closed and looked slightly bruised underneath from the lack of sleep, but Aaron still had a small, tired smile for Robert. They exchanged sleepy kisses, clumsy and uncoordinated in their lethargy, but it still made a warm glow blossom in Robert’s stomach. It dissipated somewhat when, after they pulled away, Aaron grimaced.

‘What?’

Aaron gently brushed Robert’s jaw with his thumb. 'God, Robert, it's really bruising.'

Robert believed it: he had caught a glimpse of the wound last night before his shower: it had been a mottled purple then. It ached, but he'd never tell Aaron that. He shrugged instead. 'I hear bruises are attractive,' he said. 'Supposed to be quite sexy, apparently.'

Aaron smiled, but it looked as though it were dragged from him. 'Dunno where you heard that. Bruises don't do much for me.’ He swallowed audibly and his eyes welled with tears again. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Hey, come on. You weren’t… yourself.’ He kissed Aaron’s bottom lip. ‘Let’s just try to move past that, okay?’ He turned and grabbed his phone, checking the time. ‘We’d better get up. I need to take you back to the village before work.’

‘I don’t want to go back.’ Aaron shook his head. ‘I just—I know my Mum is gonna look at me the way she used to, after Tom, and I… I can’t handle it.’

‘She’s worried about you.’

‘I know. It all just gets a bit much, you know?’

Robert nodded. He kind of knew: Wendy often was overbearing enough to remind him of his own Mum who had died before any of his real troubles had started. Robert had never really known what it was like to have that kind of overbearing protection from his parents when something terrible had happened, and he wasn’t sure if he was envious or relieved.

‘I’ll cook us breakfast, then I’ll take you back. No arguments.’ He kissed Aaron again to soften the command in his voice. 

**** 

Less than an hour later, they were on the road to Emmerdale. Aaron had barely spoken two words since they got into the car. Robert had tried to carry a conversation for a while, but had fallen quiet when it was clear that Aaron wasn’t in the mood. His hand, though, was a constant reassuring pressure on Aaron’s leg. It was enough to show him that Robert wasn’t annoyed by his silence. Aaron laced their fingers together, and caught Robert’s smile out of the corner of his eye.

_I love him_ he thought suddenly. It didn’t feel scary or like a great epiphany. It felt enormous, of course it did, but it also felt right. So right. He didn’t have the courage yet to tell Robert, but he knew for himself that he felt it, and that was enough for now.

Before long, and too soon in Aaron’s opinion, they were in the village, pulled up outside the pub. His hand clenched around Robert’s, but his boyfriend’s thumb stroked along the seam of Aaron’s trousers and he felt instantly at ease.

Aaron took a breath, and then opened the car door. So did Robert. He looked at his boyfriend. ‘My Mum’s gonna go spare if she sees you here as well.’

‘Let her,’ Robert said. ‘You’re not doing this alone. I’m here for you.’

As grateful as Aaron was, he couldn’t help but feel more than a little overwhelmed. Even more so when Robert took his hand as they walked to the back door of the pub. He fished his key out of his pocket, but before he could even unlock the door, it had swung open.

Chas stood in the doorway, her short hair a mess, and her skin pale. Aaron felt guilt like a stab to the chest. He didn’t want to worry her; it was why he had sent her that message yesterday.

‘Aaron.’ She pulled him into the house and into a hug, running her fingers through his hair. ‘Don’t _ever_ do that again.’ He felt her stiffen in his arms, and he imagined she had only just clocked Robert. She let him go. ‘What’s _he_ doing here?’

‘I brought Aaron home, that’s all.’ Robert stood with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped, trying to make himself look as small and unthreatening as possible. ‘I don’t want any trouble.’

Chas suddenly darted forward. ‘What happened to your face?’

Aaron looked at Robert. ‘Mum—’

‘Did you hurt him?’ Chas grabbed Robert’s jaw, and Aaron winced at the hiss that fell from his boyfriend’s lips. Robert tried to move away from her, but she wasn’t having it. ‘Did you hurt my boy? Is that why he hit you?’

‘Mum, please—’

‘I told you, Aaron!’ Chas let go of Robert’s face. Her fingernails had left crescent-shaped indents in his skin. ‘I told you what he was like!’ She cupped Aaron’s cheek, gentle and kind. ‘Did he hurt you, sweetheart?’

He pushed her hand away. ‘No! No, he didn’t! Why do you think the worst of him?!’

‘Because I know what he’s _like_!’

‘No you don’t!’ Aaron breathed heavily. ‘Yes, I did hit him—’

‘Aaron,’ Robert said.

‘I lashed out because I was having a panic attack, Mum!’ He was shaking, his voice was trembling. ‘I lashed out and I punched him! He loves me, and I _hit him_!’

Robert took Aaron in his arms and held him close. He kissed his ear and murmured soft words to him. ‘Don’t do this to yourself, Baby.’ Aaron didn’t cry. He trembled and shook, but he didn’t cry. He borrowed strength from Robert, and the comforting hands at his back helped him to stand straighter; the sound of his voice calmed him. Robert’s presence calmed him. For those brief moments, everything faded into nothing. Aaron didn’t care that his Mum was there, looking at them, he didn’t care that she had her false assumptions about Robert. Robert—for these brief moments—was the only thing that felt _real_ to him.

‘Aaron… sweetheart.’ Chas’s voice invaded the moment. Everything filtered back into place, like a screen coming back into sharp, harsh focus. Aaron pulled himself away from his boyfriend and breathed deeply; in and out. 

‘I’m okay,’ he said, and pushed against Robert’s chest gently. ‘You should go. You need to get to work.’

‘Aaron—’

‘I’ll be okay.’ He nodded and tried on a reassuring smile for Robert. ‘Go to work.’ It took a few more reassuring nods before Robert was sufficiently convinced, but he shot Chas a look that Aaron couldn’t quite decipher. 

He held Aaron by the shoulders. ‘Text me, okay? Or call. Whenever.’ Robert kissed him tenderly and left, closing the door behind him.

‘Sweetheart.’

‘Mum, don’t—’

‘What happened yesterday? Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?’

A wave of anger hit him like a tsunami. ‘What the _fuck_ is your problem?!’

‘Aaron!’

‘No! I told you that Robert didn’t hurt me! I told you that I lashed out at him! And you know what? he didn’t hate me for it, Mum! He held me and told me it was okay, that I was _safe_ with him.’

‘And you trust him, do you?’

‘Yes! For the first time in _years_ I feel safe!’ Aaron collapsed onto the sofa. ‘He told me he loved me, Mum. I lashed out at him, and he didn’t push me away.’ He looked at her, and saw realisation on her face, breaking slowly like dawn. ‘I’ve _never_ hit anyone before. Even Tom, when he was at his worst… I never hit him.’ He clasped his hands in front of him. His anger had melted away, replaced by an exhaustion so deep he couldn’t even begin to touch it. ‘I hate myself for hitting Robert. And he should hate me too. But he doesn’t. He knew that I wasn’t… right when I did it. He wanted to understand.’ Chas sat next to him and took his hand in hers. ‘I’ve never known anyone like him. I know that you think you know him or whatever, but you really don’t.’

Chas looked at him; he could feel her eyes on him. She wiped the tears from his cheeks—tears he didn’t even know were falling.

‘I know you want what’s best for me,’ he said. ‘I know that. And I’m so grateful to you, Mum. I don’t know where I’d be without you.’ He squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Well, no, I _do_ know where I’d be.’

‘Don’t, love.’

He shook his head. ‘Robert… he’s right for me. He is. Just give him a chance; see for yourself how he’s changed.’

‘Aaron.’ His name fell from her lips on the back of a sigh. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this.’ She brushed his gel-free, curly hair back from his forehead. ‘When he held you… I couldn’t believe it was the same man Katie had told me about.’ Aaron looked at her in shock. She laughed softly. ‘I know—I’m admitting that I may be wrong about something!’ She wound her arm around his shoulders and held him close. ‘I just want you to be happy and safe, Aaron. The thought of anyone hurting you again… I can’t handle it. You’re my boy, and I love you with all my heart.’

‘I love you too, Mum. And I care about Robert. I want him to be a part of my life, and I hate that you can’t see past what Katie’s told you about him.’

‘He means a lot to you, doesn’t he?’ When he nodded, she smiled and patted his hand. ‘I will try, Aaron. For you. But if he hurts you—’

‘He won’t.’ He rolled his eyes when Chas raised her brow. ‘But if he does, you can set Cain on him.’ 

****

Aaron rocked up late for work, but Chas must have already texted ahead to Cain, because his uncle didn’t say a word about it. He just handed him a cup of tea and a wrench. At lunchtime, Paddy came to see him as well, and treated him to a bacon sandwich at the café. 

‘How’s things?’ he asked.

Aaron licked tomato ketchup off his thumb. ‘Fine,’ he said. Then he noticed the look his pseudo-dad was levelling at him. He sighed. ‘What’s she been sayin’?’

‘Nothing,’ Paddy said all too quickly. 

‘Paddy.’

‘She was worried about you yesterday. All she got from you was a text. You were gone for the whole night, Aaron!’

‘I just needed to get away. I went to Robert’s.’

Paddy’s eyes darkened. ‘Robert Sugden. Again? Aaron, didn’t you hear what we said about him?’

‘Yes, I did. And he told me what _really_ happened.’ He got to his feet. ‘If you’re just here to lecture me about my boyfriend, then—’

‘No, I’m not. Sit—sit down. Please. I’m just worried about you. So’s your Mum.’

‘I know she is. I’ve sorted it with her. Ask her if you don’t believe me.’ He bit his lip. ‘I just—can I not just have a normal lunch break with my Dad, please?’

Paddy smiled and nodded. ‘’Course you can.’

They talked about nothing in particular for a while. Then, during a lapse in the conversation, Aaron cleared his throat. ‘I saw Tom in Hotten the other day.’

Paddy froze, his cup of tea half way to his lips. ‘What? Where?’

‘Sitting outside a café or something. I only saw him from the back; he didn’t see me.’ His leg started to bounce, agitation and anxiety coming off him in waves. ‘I felt scared when I saw him. And then Robert was there, and… I just felt so _safe_.’

‘Robert makes you feel safe?’ Paddy asked gently. When Aaron nodded, he took his glasses off and wiped his eyes.

Aaron grinned despite the situation. ‘Are you _cryin’_?’

‘Yes, I flippin’ am! All I ever wanted, Aaron, was for you to feel safe with someone.’

‘And it had to be Robert flamin’ Sugden, eh?’

Paddy laughed. ‘Does he care about you?’

‘Yeah. He loves me.’

‘I don’t know if I can give my blessing, Aaron. Not yet. I know Robert; I know what he was like, and this isn’t coming from Katie, this is what I personally know about him. But for you, I’ll try to see what you see.’

Aaron felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For both his parents to give Robert a chance… it was nothing short of a miracle.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all so much for the comments and kudos on the previous chapter! This is a bit more filler-y, and a bit of scene setting and a calm down after the past few full on chapters, but I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless :)

When Aaron told Robert on no uncertain terms that his Mum and Paddy were willing to give him a chance, Robert would have fallen over if he hadn’t been sitting down already.

‘So, getting in with the in-laws then,’ Wendy teased. He and Wendy had taken things slow for a while, before they both realised how much they missed each other from their lives. Robert rolled his eyes which masked an inward thrill from the idea of Aaron’s parents being his ‘in-laws’. 

He smirked. ‘Jumping the gun a bit there, Wend.’

He could imagine the smile his friend was wearing as they talked over the phone. Her voice sparkled with it. ‘I’m just teasing, love. Seriously, I’m happy for you.’

‘Really?’

‘Really. I know that I didn’t make a good first impression _at all_ with Aaron, but I want to… to make up for it. He seems like a good lad.’

‘He is.’ Robert shook his head in almost extraordinary wonder. ‘I’ve never met anyone like him, Wendy. He’s just… he’s different to everyone else, you know?’ 

‘You never sounded like this about Louise. Even in the first few months of your relationship.’

‘I did love her. Once.’ He swallowed back the lump in his throat which always built whenever he talked about his ex-wife. A lump of fear and shame, and no small amount of heartache about how their relationship had spiralled so severely out of control. ‘But even that… it can’t compare. She doesn’t come close.’

‘Oh god, don’t! I’m gonna start welling up!’ Robert chuckled at the wobble in Wendy’s voice. ‘Speaking of in-laws,’ she said after a pause. Robert stiffened at the mention of it, wondering and dreading where this conversation was going. He’d revealed enough about his past to Aaron to suffice for the next few years, let alone Wendy bringing up his family. ‘I was wondering if you and your beau would like to come to dinner on Saturday?’

Robert blinked. ‘What, with you and Clive you mean?’

‘Yeah. Well, you’ve met his in-laws twice now. Only right that he meets yours.’

He laughed, even as his stomach tightened in love for his friend. ‘And you and Clive are—’

‘Call yourself our brother.’ There was that smile in her tone again which made her voice glow. ‘So?’

‘Yeah, sounds good. I’ll clear it with Aaron, but yeah.’

**** 

When Robert saw him again on Thursday, Aaron only stuttered over a reply twice before agreeing, though Robert made it clear that he wasn’t in any shape or form _forcing_ his boyfriend to go.

‘No, I know,’ he said and shrugged. ‘But I mean, after last time, how much worse can it get?’

Robert smirked and drew Aaron closer to him with an arm around his shoulders. ‘That’s the spirit.’ He got a grin and a roll of the eyes in response, which just made Robert smile wider. 

They were sitting at the cricket pavilion, looking out at the green playing field, and the green and yellow farming fields beyond. Aaron had insisted that morning that he’d pick Robert up after work, saying that it was about time that he drove him around for once. Robert didn’t protest, even though he loved driving, and driving Aaron around wasn’t anything like the chore his boyfriend seemed to think it was. They’d been there for hours, soaking up the very last few rays of the sun. Now it was evening and the sky was starting to dim, the moon already showing her face. Aaron sidled even closer to Robert and put his hand on his thigh, running his fingers up and down the in-seam, prompting Robert to kiss his hair.

‘Do you miss it?’ Aaron asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

‘Hm?’

‘Emmerdale. Do you miss it?’

Robert inhaled deeply as he thought about it. He looked around. It was stunning here, and even more so today with the darkening blue sky a perfect complement to the green land. ‘I miss the countryside sometimes,’ he said. ‘I mean, I didn’t like farming, but I could appreciate the view, you know? But the village itself…? Not really. Too many bad memories.’

Aaron lifted his head so that he could see Robert properly. ‘But you’re making new ones now, yeah? Better ones?’ He nudged his shoulder against Robert’s. ‘With me.’

He looked at Aaron for a long moment, drinking in his features: his blue eyes, full bottom lip, the beard that Robert couldn’t get enough of, the curls that covered his forehead and moved with the breeze. God, he was gorgeous. And Robert knew what kind of heart beat beneath that chest: strong and loving. Aaron was _everything_ to him. ‘Yeah,’ he sighed in contentment. ‘Much better memories now.’ He kissed him lightly. ‘Though that’s not limited to just here.’ He kissed Aaron’s smile.

‘You’re a soft lad, you know that?’ Aaron chuckled. ‘No one would believe me if I told ‘em.’

‘Best keep it to yourself then, eh?’

They kissed again; leisurely, unhurried, until Aaron pulled back just enough to breathe words between them. ‘Stay here tonight,’ he said.

Robert opened his eyes, then cast them downwards to watch Aaron’s fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt. ‘I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.’

Aaron moved back completely, losing all contact with his boyfriend. ‘Why?’

‘Because your Mum may be willing to give me a chance for you, but I don’t want to test her.’

Aaron pressed tiny, fleeting kisses to Robert’s lips. ‘You’re my boyfriend and I want you to stay over. If she’s got somethin’ to say about that—’

‘Which she probably will,’ Robert interrupted.

‘Which she probably will,’ Aaron conceded, ‘I’ll handle her.’ He nudged Robert again and grinned. ‘I can be your knight in oily overalls.’

Robert’s eyes lit up at the mention of his boyfriend’s workwear, even as he smirked. ‘Oh yeah? What does that make me then?’

Aaron was already shifting away from him. ‘The damsel in distress I suppose.’ He barked a laugh and shimmied off the steps just as Robert lunged for him. He ran a few steps, Robert chasing after him, then turned and jogged backwards, keeping his eyes on Robert who darted forward and put his arms around Aaron and hauled his laughing boyfriend to his chest.

‘Do that more often,’ Robert said as he grinned. ‘Laugh more. It sounds good on you.’ Aaron’s grin didn’t fade even as he kissed Robert, all eagerness and desire. Robert held him closer. It was amazing, how Aaron could make him feel like this; feel so young. Not that Robert was bothered about his age, or the age gap between them, but there was something about Aaron—about the way that they were together—which made him feel like a twenty year old again. ‘I love you,’ Robert breathed into Aaron’s skin. He kissed him again, to let him know that he didn’t need to hear the words.

Aaron pushed him back by the shoulders, walking him backwards, but still kept that contact between their lips. Then, when Robert apparently didn’t move fast enough for him, he pulled away and took Robert by the hand, and led him back to the cricket pavilion.

‘What’re you doing?’ Robert asked. His boyfriend just looked back at him with a cheeky grin. Oh, Robert knew _exactly_ what he was planning. ‘Here? When you’ve got a bed at home?’

They’d reached the door, and Aaron turned to him again, running his fingertips down Robert’s shoulders, his chest, down his stomach, and further still until he stopped and played with his belt. He leaned in close but didn’t kiss him. ‘Where’s your sense of adventure?’ Then he pushed the door open, already unzipping his hoodie as he did. Robert swallowed hard. Blood was already rushing far enough south that he had managed to convince himself this was a good idea. Not that he needed _much_ convincing, not with his gorgeous Aaron standing there, already working on the buttons of his jeans.

He walked in after him and toed the door shut behind him. The dim evening light shone through the windows, brushing the room grey and pale yellow. But Robert only had eyes for Aaron, who had unbuttoned his jeans, but stripped off his t-shirt first instead. His hands itched to touch him, but Robert found the willpower to stand in place; to watch the little show that Aaron was putting on for him.

Aaron’s biceps and the muscles in his forearms clenched and released as he worked the jeans down his thighs. Robert’s mouth filled when he caught sight of Aaron’s cock already bulging the front of his black boxers. If he got on his knees now and put his mouth there, he knew he’d find it wet and warm with precum. He swallowed and bit back a moan.

Finally Aaron stood there in just his underwear, his shoes and socks already discarded in a pile with the rest of his clothes. He sauntered towards Robert, pulled at his hands and put them on his waist. Robert exhaled heavily at the contact, as he was granted the feel of his boyfriend’s skin under his palms. Aaron grinned and leaned forward to nibble on Robert’s neck, then started to undress him. 

Each button released felt like torture. Aaron took his time, relishing every second of unveiling more and more skin. Robert forgot for a moment that they were in a public place; that anyone could walk into the pavilion. But the thought of it, when the reminder came rushing back to him, excited him. He and Louise had never been this adventurous. The last time he had, he was twenty-four years old and looking for cheap thrills in the back of cars parked outside Sainsbury’s; once before that on a pool table in an empty bar with a girl he barely knew. 

‘Still with me?’

Aaron’s deep, growling voice cut through his reminiscing. He shook himself. Why the hell was he thinking about times gone by with people he barely knew, let alone cared about, when there was a gorgeous man that he was completely and utterly in love with right in front of him? Robert smiled and kissed Aaron, undressed fully whilst Aaron’s hands wandered, and then pulled him down onto the floor.

Immediately his younger lover climbed into his lap, and Robert was reminded forcefully of the first time they’d been physical with each other, on his sofa, Aaron rubbing against his thigh until he’d come. He moaned out loud at the memory.

‘Fuck, Robert.’ Aaron pushed his boxers down his thighs and shuffled around until he could throw them on the pile with the rest of his clothes. ‘I want you.’

Robert reached for his jeans, where he knew he had stashed a small packet of lube. 

‘Carry those around with you, do you?’ Aaron teased.

‘Good thing I do; with you jumping me every five minutes.’ 

They smirked at each other until Aaron nudged Robert and told him to get on with it.

It didn’t take long. Aaron was relaxed enough and desperate enough that he took three of Robert’s fingers easily. They kissed, moaning into each other’s mouths as their bodies joined, Aaron moving wildly on top of Robert. Robert held his boyfriend’s hips and tried to get a rhythm going, but even he in time was lost to the moment, and they let their desire take over. Aaron panted into Robert’s shoulder dampening it with his warm breath, and sunk his teeth into his flesh whilst Robert gasped at the sharp mix of pain and pleasure.

‘Come on, Baby.’

Robert snuck a hand down their bodies and touched Aaron’s cock. He’d barely got his fingers around him before Aaron was coming, muffling his shout of release into Robert’s skin. He shook in Robert’s arms, gasping and panting, and it wasn’t long before Robert followed him right over the edge. 

He ran his hands up and down Aaron’s back, and pressed tender kisses against his temple and his ear. ‘Okay?’ he asked, once Aaron had calmed down. He didn’t get a verbal answer, but a kiss instead.

Owls were calling by the time they left the pavilion, fully dressed once again. Robert wound his arm around Aaron’s shoulders and led him back to the village.

‘So?’ Aaron said. ‘Back to mine?’ When Robert hesitated, Aaron pushed against him playfully. ‘I’ll protect you from my Mum. Promise.’

Robert grinned, but didn’t take the bait again. ‘It is getting late, I suppose.’

**** 

Chas wasn’t in the back room, but they could hear her raucous laughter coming from the pub as they snuck up to Aaron’s room like two teenagers staying out after hours.

Aaron’s room wasn’t like Robert had imagined it. To be honest, he wasn’t sure what he had expected, but the room was rather sophisticated, in a muted and dark kind of way with its dark greys and dark wood furniture. There weren’t many photos at all in the room, the only decoration the calendar on the far wall. There was a single window which overlooked the side of the pub, and had a view of the rolling hills beyond the village. Aaron drew the curtains before switching on the bedside lamp. The room was bathed in a soft light which made Robert smile. 

Shadows played over Aaron’s face, drawing out the curves of his features and making his eyes hooded. He looked dangerous, but sultry. Robert tugged him towards him and cupped his jaw before leaning down for a kiss, passionate and tender. When he pulled back, Aaron’s eyes remained closed, so he kissed him again; quicker, just a press of his closed mouth to Aaron’s. His eyes—when he opened them—were dark blue in the low light of the bedroom. ‘Bed,’ Robert whispered.

Aaron nodded. They undressed, and dropped onto the mattress, and were soon enjoying each other’s bodies once again.

**** 

It took a moment for Robert to register what was happening. He woke disoriented, and with a sharp pain in his shin. He blinked his eyes open and then everything rushed at him like a train. Aaron panting next to him, shifting about restlessly, whimpering. 

‘Aaron?’ Robert’s voice was croaky and he cleared his throat. The noise prompted Aaron to whimper even more, to struggle against the bed sheets tangled around his legs and arms. Robert sat up, his mind frantically wondering what to do. ‘Aaron.’ But calling his name still didn’t work. Aaron was caught in a nightmare and Robert wanted to weep because he didn’t know how he could help him. He caressed Aaron’s cheek with his thumb. ‘Aaron. Baby, it’s okay.’ Somehow the term of endearment calmed him; maybe because Tom had never called him that. Robert breathed shakily. ‘You’re safe, Baby, you’re okay.’ 

Aaron’s eyes fluttered and he woke on a gasp. ‘What—?’

‘Sh sh. It’s okay.’ Robert wanted so badly to take him in his arms, but Aaron was looking around like a cornered animal. The last thing he’d need was someone in his space. ‘It’s okay. You were having a nightmare.’

He looked at Robert. ‘Nightmare?’

‘Yeah.’

He rubbed his hands over his face. ‘God, I’m sor—’

‘No no. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Okay?’ When Aaron didn’t reply, Robert stroked his cheek again. ‘Look at me.’ He did, and Robert’s heart _hurt_ for how much anguish there was in Aaron’s eyes. ‘You don’t have anything to be sorry for. None of this is your fault.’

Tears fell then, and Aaron curled himself against Robert’s chest as he cried silently. Robert held him and pressed his lips to Aaron’s skin and hair. ‘It’s okay. I’ve got you.’

It took a long while for Aaron to steady himself. When he did, he lay on his back but his shoulder was still pressed to Robert’s, still wanting that contact. Robert watched him until Aaron’s eyes closed and his breaths evened out in sleep. 

By the morning, Aaron had entangled himself around Robert. They woke before their alarms, and neither wanted to sleep again. Aaron’s eyes were still far away as he dressed; he was in some place that Robert couldn’t get to to help him and that hurt Robert more than anything.

When they went downstairs, Chas was already there even though it was still early. Robert paused in the doorway, unsure if he should go further into the room, feeling like he was intruding on something that definitely wasn’t his. Aaron saw him hesitate and his eyes softened. ‘Tea?’ he asked Robert. He was giving him an out, letting him know that it was okay if he wanted to leave, but that he was invited—as Aaron’s boyfriend—to stay. Chas looked at them with interest as they hovered. He could feel her eyes on him, examining the bruise which was already fading.

Robert needed to take this step at some point. He nodded. ‘Yeah. Thanks.’

Aaron smiled and ran his hand down Robert’s arm, then he nodded his head at the table. ‘Sit down.’

Chas didn’t spare him another glance. She had eyes only for her son. ‘You all right, love? I heard you last night.’

Robert saw Aaron’s shoulders stiffen, and his own ached in sympathy. Aaron cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, I—uh—had a nightmare.’ He dropped sugar into the mugs and waited for the kettle to boil. ‘The locked door thing again. Robert helped me though.’

She whipped her head round to Robert. ‘You helped him?’

‘Of course I did,’ he said. ‘What else was I supposed to do?’ 

‘Just didn’t think you’d know what to do, that’s all.’

Robert shook his head. ‘I didn’t, not really. But I did what seemed right, and it… it worked.’ 

Aaron put their teas on the table and squeezed Robert’s shoulder before he took his own seat and the three of them sipped their tea in awkward silence.

Eventually, Chas stood up. ‘Well, as fun as this has been’—Robert rolled his eyes at the scorn in her voice—‘I’d better get things sorted in the pub.’

‘Chas,’ Robert said. He felt Aaron’s eyes on him, almost willing him not to do or say anything stupid. ‘Look, I know you don’t like me. And whatever Katie has told you obviously made quite the impression on you.’ He fought to keep the scathing remarks about that to himself. ‘But I just—I do love Aaron. That may be hard for you to believe or understand, but I do love him. More than anything.’

Aaron’s breath caught. Chas looked at him in wonder, but she didn’t say a word before she left.

Robert exhaled unsteadily. ‘That could have been worse,’ he chuckled. Aaron smiled and leaned over to kiss him, a thanks and sign of affection all in one.

****

Aaron drove him back after their small breakfast. Robert couldn’t take his eyes off his boyfriend as he drove. He didn’t know what it was about it, but the sight was captivating. All too soon, they’d reached Hotten.

‘Sorry about last night,’ Aaron murmured when they were parked outside Robert’s house.

‘Hey, what did I say last night, eh?’

‘Yeah, but still… you shouldn’t have to put up with all of that.’

‘Just like you shouldn’t have to put up with my past and my… weird kinks.’

Aaron glared at him. ‘Don’t say it like that!’

‘Well, don’t talk about your own troubles the way you do then.’ He smiled, and Aaron shook his head though the tension around his mouth had softened somewhat. ‘We’re a pair, aren’t we?’ His boyfriend huffed a little laugh through a small smile. ‘Have a good day, yeah? Call me later.’ He kissed him gently. ‘Drive safe back to the village.’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘Anything else?’

Robert tickled him and Aaron dodged him, eyes sparkling. ‘Seriously though, call me okay? Whenever.’

‘Yeah. Thanks. You too.’ They kissed again, a promise hanging in the air between them.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for your continued support for this story! This is 2200 words of fluff. I swear I'll get back into actual plot and story in the next chapter!
> 
> Happy reading!

Robert checked his watch for the fifth time in a minute as he stood and waited on the doorstep to the back room of the pub. He wasn’t quite ready to go through the pub yet and call on Aaron—there were likely people who remembered him from _before_ and he couldn’t quite deal with that.

The door finally opened and revealed Aaron in his loose lounge trousers and a t-shirt. Robert smiled. As per his stuttering request earlier that day, Aaron hadn’t dressed properly yet for tonight’s dinner-double date.

‘Wouldn’t it be easier for me to drive to yours?’ Aaron had asked an hour earlier over the phone.

Robert had winced and squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Yeah, but I just… before you dressed yourself, I wanted to—’

He hadn’t had to explain anything more. He could practically hear the pieces slot into place in Aaron’s brain, and his boyfriend had let out a little gasp. ‘OH! You mean, you want to—’

‘It’s okay if you don’t. I don’t want to push you.’

‘No, it’s fine. It’s—it’s better than fine. I want you to, as well.’

Robert had woken with an itch in his hands, in his chest. He needed. He needed to feel needed. God knew what brought it on, but it was there, hot and heavy in his chest. At first he’d felt ashamed, and even when he thought about asking Aaron, he felt ashamed. He heard Louise’s voice in his head, telling him what a perverted man she’d married; how he should be embarrassed of what he wanted. But Aaron wasn’t Louise, and so he’d bitten the bullet and asked him. 

Now, he was so glad he did.

Aaron waved him into the back room with a smile. ‘Mum’s manning the bar,’ he said. ‘Just us. You can take as long as you want.’

Robert swept his boyfriend into his arms and exhaled into his neck. ‘I don’t deserve you,’ he whispered.

‘Don’t be daft.’ Aaron’s fingers carded through Robert’s hair and settled at the nape of his neck. ‘I think I need this too, actually. I… didn’t have a good night last night.’

That pulled Robert back from his loved-up state. ‘Why didn’t you call me?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘It wasn’t unbearable. Just… not good.’

‘Did you have a nightmare?’

‘No, thankfully. I dunno.’ He shrugged. ‘I fell asleep thinking about stuff, and I woke up thinkin’ about stuff, too. Felt a little on edge.’ 

Robert looked at him for a long moment, before skimming his hands down Aaron’s arms. ‘Let me take care of you then.’ Aaron bit his lip and nodded, before taking Robert’s hand and leading him upstairs to his room.

His clothes hadn’t been laid out yet. Aaron pointed him in the direction of his chest of drawers. ‘Pick something out,’ he said. ‘It’s mainly, like, black stuff but.’ He ended on a shrug.

‘If we’d had time I would have bought something for you,’ Robert said. When Aaron wrinkled his nose, he smirked. ‘I know, it’s just a dinner with my mates. But I wanted to treat you to something. Even if it was just a new hoodie or something.’

‘Somethin’ with elbow patches, you mean?’ Aaron said playfully, tugging on the patches on Robert’s blue blazer as if he was going to pull them off. ‘I like them on you,’ he said. ‘Dunno about on me, though.’

Robert only smiled at him. He was convinced his boyfriend could pull off anything: any style from any era; any combination of throw-back or bad choice he’d make it look stylish. Aaron just didn’t give himself the chance to experiment with it, and Robert wasn’t going to push him.

‘Maybe one day I’ll buy you something with disguised elbow patches,’ he said. ‘Or a disguised pattern—Aaron everything is so plain!’

‘Yeah, all right, Gok Wan, I didn’t ask you to pass comment on my clothes.’ His voice was sparkling with a grin, and Robert fell in love with him a little more if that was possible. ‘Just choose somethin’, or we’ll have to reschedule for next Saturday.’

As Robert rummaged through Aaron’s drawers (a joke he found hilarious when he thought about it. ‘Mrs Slocombe? From—never mind,’ he said then shook his head at Aaron’s blank look), tugging out jeans and shirts and then discarding them, it occurred to him again how much of a big deal this was for Aaron. ‘Thank you,’ Robert said. ‘For doing this with me: the dinner, I mean. I know that it’s not the best situation you could think of, considering what happened last time so it means a lot to me.’

Aaron wrapped his arms around Robert’s waist from behind. ‘They’re your best friends. From the way you talk, they’re the closest thing you have to family in England. So yeah, of course I was gonna meet them.’ His fingers ran over the buttons on Robert’s shirt, dipping in every now and then to skip over his soft stomach. Robert smiled and pulled Aaron’s hands away from him, holding them lightly in his own.

‘Keep that up and we really will have to reschedule.’ 

They parted and Robert returned to looking for clothes. He felt Aaron’s eyes on him, but didn’t look around until he’d found something he liked. Then he bit his lip, suddenly apprehensive. ‘Are you sure this is okay?’ he asked. ‘I’m not taking too much control, am I?’

‘Rob, I’m comfortable with you,’ Aaron said. His voice was soft. ‘I feel safe with you. And I want you to do this for me. For yourself as well.’

‘All right.’

Louise had really done a number on him. He knew plenty of people who dressed each other. And Wendy had told him on more than one occasion about having to pick out clothes for Clive because ‘the man just doesn’t know how to dress!’. But it was different for Robert, because he got something else from it. Not always necessarily sexual excitement, but it was certainly some kind of gratification.

‘You’re thinking too hard,’ Aaron said. He took the clothes from Robert’s hands and looked at what he’d chosen. ‘God, I haven’t seen this shirt in months!’ He held the light grey shirt up, turning it this way and that. ‘My Mum bought it for me for my birthday last year. I hated it then; I didn’t go out anywhere, what the hell would I do with a shirt?’ he laughed. ‘But she forced it on me over the weekend when we had this massive knees up with my family. Never wore it again after that.’

‘Why not?’ Robert asked, genuinely perplexed. He looked between the shirt and Aaron’s face. The light grey made his eyes even bluer.

Aaron snorted a laugh and blushed, and Robert realised he had said it out loud. ‘Don’t even know if it’ll fit me anymore.’ He put it on the bed and turned to Robert, and his eyes immediately softened. ‘Ready?’

‘If you are?’ He got a nod in return, but before Robert started to undress him, Robert leaned in for a kiss. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered against Aaron’s lips. ‘You have no idea what this means to me.’

His boyfriend kissed him again, a brush of lips against lips. ‘I think I do,’ he said. 

**** 

The first time Aaron had let Robert dress him in the changing room he wasn’t sure what was happening. He just thought that Robert was being helpful, or that he wanted to get his hands on Aaron, neither of which—especially the latter—Aaron was going to turn down. He didn’t realise just how much it _meant_ to Robert. And now… Aaron had never wanted to _please_ a lover as much as he wanted to please Robert. And it wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t for his own gratification, although he did feel good to know that Robert wanted him as much as he did, and it felt undeniably good to have Robert care about him and show it in his own way, especially after the way he had been treated by Tom in the past. It wasn’t just that: it was that he wanted to give Robert what he wanted. That it felt good for Aaron as well was an added bonus.

Robert started to lift the hem of Aaron’s shirt. He swallowed nervously; Aaron watched every line on his boyfriend’s face, saw the way Robert focused solely on his own hands as they gripped the material. Then Robert’s eyes flickered to his and Aaron saw the uncertainty there; the worry that Aaron would change his mind, would lash out at him. Aaron’s heart ached for him. He put his hands on Robert’s. ‘It’s okay,’ he said gently. ‘I want this.’

Robert blinked rapidly, breathed deep, and nodded. The uncertainty was still there—Aaron wondered if it would ever leave—but Robert lifted the shirt. Aaron raised his arms enough for his boyfriend to pull the garment off him. Robert’s breath caught, and he put his hands on Aaron’s waist, his stomach, his chest.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he breathed.

Aaron’s face heated. ‘Shut up.’

‘You are.’ Robert leaned in and kissed his forehead, then down the bridge of his nose, to his lips. It didn’t feel sexual, so Aaron didn’t deepen it. It felt like Robert needed the comfort, and Aaron was happy—more than happy—to give him that. 

His hands swept to Aaron’s trousers. They were loose on him and Robert’s fingers dipped down, played along Aaron’s boxers, the hair that dragged down to his soft cock. His smile was shy. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Couldn’t help myself.’ Aaron bit his lip on a chuckle. Robert hooked his thumbs in the trousers and pulled them down, down, past Aaron’s backside, his thighs, his calves. Aaron breathed deep and forced himself to stay calm. There was a definite vulnerability to this; he felt exposed in a way he never had before with Robert, even when they were naked in front of each other. After Tom, he had sworn to himself that he would never be that vulnerable in front of anyone again; that he would never give anyone the upper hand and let them hurt him the way Tom did. But here was Robert, undressing him and seeing him in this way, and Aaron had never felt as safe as he did in this moment. He looked down, at Robert who was on his knees in front of him, who patted his leg to indicate he should lift it. Aaron balanced himself on Robert’s shoulder. He didn’t need to, but he wanted the contact. Robert looked up and caught his eye. ‘Okay?’ he asked.

God, Aaron’s heart was fit to burst. ‘I love you,’ he said. 

They both froze, breaths caught. ‘Aaron…’

Aaron exhaled. He hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that. But Robert was on his knees in front of him, checking—always checking—that Aaron was all right, ready to protect him; to stop if Aaron had said ‘no’. And he loved him. Aaron loved him. He nodded. ‘I mean it,’ he said.

Robert’s eyes were wide and filled with a kind of wonder that Aaron had never seen before. He kissed Aaron’s stomach almost reverently. Aaron’s head fell forward and he groaned low in his throat. It still didn’t feel sexual; it felt like something they _needed_ , both of them, that contact. ‘I love you,’ Robert whispered. It was too much—too much to take without having Robert in his arms. Aaron pulled, one hand on Robert’s shoulder, the other on the back of his neck, until Robert was standing and then Aaron pulled him again, into his arms.

They stayed for a long while like that, holding each other, until Robert pulled away. He smiled at Aaron, small and a bit dazed, and Aaron returned it. He had been afraid of this emotion, because nothing good ever came of it. But maybe his run of bad luck would be cut short with Robert. Said man rubbed Aaron’s shoulders, his biceps. ‘Better get dressed,’ he said.

‘Come on then,’ Aaron replied, voice equally as soft. He accepted another gentle kiss from Robert before his boyfriend took the pair of black jeans from the bed. He sat on the bed and bent at the waist so that Aaron wouldn’t have to raise his leg too much. Once again, Aaron balanced himself on Robert’s shoulder, then he trailed his hands through Robert’s blond hair smiling at the way his boyfriend paused for a moment just to lean into the sensation, clearly enjoying it. Aaron filed it away: at some point he’d want to return the favour. He tapped Robert on the back of the neck. ‘All right?’

Robert nodded. He pulled the jeans up Aaron’s legs and his hips. His face was a picture of concentration as he buttoned and zipped the jeans, then drew Aaron’s belt through the loops. ‘Too tight?’ he asked.

‘No, it’s good.’

Robert pressed another kiss to Aaron’s stomach, just above the belt. He picked the shirt up next and stood up. Aaron pushed his arms through the shirt and waited patiently for Robert to button it. When he was done, Robert leaned in and kissed him, as if he couldn’t hold back any longer. It was hot and heavy, but with a lingering desperation nestled within it. Aaron gave back as good as he got, hands running up Robert’s arms and through his hair. When Robert pulled back, Aaron followed him but Robert chuckled. ‘We’re gonna be late,’ he said. 

‘Screw it,’ Aaron said. He didn’t mean it: he knew how important this evening was to Robert. He’d wait. Heat moved back and forth between them, like a constant fluttering flame, but he’d wait. He kissed Robert again, quick but no less loving. He stood back and held his arms out. ‘Good enough?’

‘More than.’

He took Aaron’s hand and led him downstairs, to the waiting car.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A new chapter, after 66 years??
> 
> I am so sorry for the wait, and to everyone who messaged me asking when the next chapter would be up. I hope you enjoy it :)

Robert parked the car, and Aaron started to open the door. ‘Hold on,’ Robert said. Aaron looked at him askance. ‘Wait there.’

Aaron frowned but obeyed, watching as his boyfriend got out of the car and jogged around the front of it until he was at the passenger side, opening the door for Aaron. Robert looked as if he was fighting back embarrassment: his jaw was clenched and he didn’t meet Aaron’s eyes. Aaron was startled at the gesture, but he understood the need behind it. He didn’t say a word until he was out of the car, until Robert had closed the door behind him and locked it. Only then did Aaron nudge Robert gently, shoulder to bicep. ‘Thanks,’ he murmured. Robert let out a breath he probably didn’t even know he was holding. He took Aaron’s hand and led him to the door.

Clive and Wendy lived in a quaint looking house, smaller than Robert’s, a semi-detached. It was the last house of about two dozen which lined the street on either side. It was the best-looking by any standards, Aaron thought, with tidy ivy creeping up the wall to the first floor window, well-cared for front garden and solar lights which lined a stone slab footway to the door.

Robert knocked on the dark wood front door. ‘All right?’ he asked Aaron quietly, as they listened for footsteps within the house.

‘Yeah. Bit nervous,’ Aaron admitted.

Robert lifted Aaron’s hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. ‘Don’t be. They already like you.’

He didn’t feel convinced, but before he had the time to freak out about it, the door opened. Aaron plastered a smile on his face when Wendy greeted them with a hello which sounded more than a little relieved.

‘I thought you weren’t going to make it,’ she said as she hugged Robert, who still hadn’t let go of Aaron’s hand.

‘We’re not that late, are we?’

Wendy waved her hand. ‘No, no. You know me.’ She turned her smile on Aaron. ‘Glad you came, love.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Hiya.’ Wendy’s smile fell a little, but she gestured them into the house, taking the bottle of wine that Robert graciously offered her. Whilst she disappeared back into the kitchen to check the dinner, Robert kept Aaron behind with a pull to his hand. Aaron’s stomach clenched. His mind shot through memories of Tom telling Aaron that he was in Tom’s friend’s house, the least he could do was show a bit of willing. Aaron forced the memories back. This was _Robert_.

‘Relax, yeah?’ Robert said. He pressed his large hand to Aaron’s jaw, curling his fingers around his neck and squeezing gently. ‘I’m right here.’

‘Yeah.’ Aaron let out a breath, tried to smile. ‘I know.’ 

Robert smiled enough for the both of them, and pressed a kiss to Aaron's forehead before guiding him through to the living room with a hand at the small of his back. The living room was big and bright, with most of the light owed to the huge double French doors which opened onto a back garden. It was homely in a way that Robert’s wasn't as such: Clive and Wendy had placed photos and little meaningful ornaments on bookcases and well-polished cabinets. Robert was in a fair few of them, and Aaron smiled when he looked at them. Beside him, Robert chuckled lightly when he saw what had caught his boyfriend’s eye. ‘Later, Wendy might let you see the collection of photos I won't let her show in the room.’

‘Must be love if he's going to let you see those,’ came Wendy's voice from the doorway. ‘Robert threatens to burn them twice a month at least.’ She smiled, but Aaron could see the anxiety causing shadows in her eyes. It was all too clear that she wanted to make a good impression and that Robert was obviously too good a friend to lose, and Aaron appreciated the effort she was making. 

‘They must be pretty good then. Should be a laugh,’ Aaron said. He wrinkled his nose playfully at Robert. ‘For us, at least.’

It got a grin out of Wendy which was slightly more at ease. ‘Oh, they are. They never get old!’ She went back to the kitchen but not before yelling for her husband to come downstairs, that he'd ‘come too far in life to make too much of a change to his face now’. 

Robert ran his knuckles down Aaron's arm to his hand, until their fingers were tangled together. ‘Thanks,’ he said, ‘for making the effort.’

Aaron squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, hoping that it would convey what he couldn't quite find the words to say: that he'd do anything for Robert. The older man led him out into the back garden where Clive joined them minutes later. When Wendy joined them, she instructed Robert and Clive to get the outdoor table out of the shed so they could eat in the fresh air. 

Whilst they did, Aaron helped Wendy to cart dishes of food from the kitchen. She was about to give him the dish of potatoes when she hesitated, and Aaron looked at her askance. ‘I know that there's a bit of an elephant in the room,’ she said. ‘And I just wanted to apologise, love.’ She sighed. ‘It was so wrong of me to imply that… that you were with Robert because of his money.’

Aaron shuffled on his feet. He wasn't good at confrontation—not that this was an argument—but this felt too important to just shrug off. ‘Money doesn't bother me,’ he led with. ‘I'm not like that. Robert is… he's become special to me. I'm with him for him.’ It was all he was willing to say on the matter, because any other more meaningful words were reserved for the man himself. Robert knew how Aaron felt, and most of the time he didn't need Aaron to even say it; he just _knew_.

She nodded. ‘I see that now. I just worry about him.’

‘He told me about Louise, and how she treated him.’ Aaron felt anger bubble below the surface when he thought about Robert’s ex-wife, but overriding it was the feeling of how much he wanted to protect the older man. He hated that someone had hurt him like that, and Aaron would do everything to make sure Robert never felt that way again. 

‘He told me that you knew.’ She pursed her lips and her eyes dropped for a moment to the counter top. ‘You are the first person he's told, since Louise. He's not let anyone else that close to him. I worry because I don't want his heart to be broken again.’ A great sadness came over her expression. ‘I never want to see Robert hurting like that again.’

Aaron bit his lip, wondering what to say, how to phrase how much Robert meant to him with actual words. ‘If it means anything,’ he said, a little uncertain. ‘I would never forgive myself if I hurt him like that.’ He wasn't great with words; he even struggled finding the right ones with Robert at times. But his feelings ran deep for his boyfriend. He didn't know how he'd functioned without him, now that he knew Robert. And now that he knew what it was to love Robert, Aaron knew that it was the first time he had felt this way about anyone. Robert was everything. 

Wendy squeezed his arm, and from the look she gave him, Aaron knew that she got it. 

****

‘Garden looks good,’ Robert said. He pointed out a hydrangea bush which was beginning to flower. ‘Is that new?’

Clive placed the white chair on the ground before nodding at the plant. ‘Yeah, Wendy's sister got it for her. It was their Mum’s favourite.’

‘God yeah. It's been, what, five years now?’

‘Yeah, five years a week ago. I think it's why she was so desperate to get you and Aaron here you know? Got her thinking all… morbid, and she didn't want to go on bad terms.’

Robert nodded. ‘Yeah, I know all about that.’ His friend slapped his back lightly and Robert tried to smile in gratitude.

‘Have you heard from Vic or Andy recently?’

‘Does ten years count as recent?’ Robert’s laugh was bitter. ‘I think I'll go to my grave sooner than Andy will speak to me. And Vic's probably better off without me.’

‘I don't think that's true,’ Clive said. His voice was light, but seriousness was anchored in his eyes. ‘You should contact her. Bet she misses you.’

‘Maybe.’ It was as non-committal as Robert always was when his family was mentioned. He shook his head. ‘I've got Aaron now. He takes care of me.’

‘And I'm glad you have him, mate, I really am. But you need your family, too. And I don't just mean us.’

Robert fell silent and Clive didn't push. For a short while they just listened to the birds singing to each other in the trees, until Aaron and Wendy joined them. The food looked amazing, and the company was brilliant. It was all he needed.

****

Aaron—wanting more than anything suddenly to be close to Robert—stood as close as he needed to, to make Robert understand that Aaron needed Robert’s arms around him. His boyfriend slung his arm across Aaron's shoulders and they stood together until the plates had been gathered from the kitchen and Wendy was telling them to help themselves, that everything had to be eaten. 

Robert passed Aaron a plate, and Aaron thought nothing of it. Then he passed him a knife and fork and Aaron didn't even blink. It was only when Robert pulled the chair out for him that Aaron looked at him. Robert bit his lip, as if suddenly thinking that maybe this was too far. It was a gesture that went unnoticed by Clive and Wendy, but Aaron knew what it meant to Robert. He saw Robert withdraw, but before he could, Aaron brushed his fingers against Robert’s wrist and took his seat.

Their eyes met, and a wealth of conversation and emotion passed between them. Robert plated up his own meal, but they kept making eye contact over the others’ heads. It felt like something secret, and Aaron felt hot under Robert’s gaze which flicked to and from him. It was like finding the sun on a cloudy day, feeling Robert’s eyes on him. He sat on Aaron's right, and every so often, Robert’s hand stroked over Aaron's thigh. 

Aaron happily listened to the conversation around him, joining in every now and them, and occasionally laughing at something that Clive said. He realised over the course of the meal why Robert liked the couple so much: they were fun and down to earth in a way that Aaron hadn't really experienced before. He loved hanging out with Adam, but Clive and Wendy provided a different kind of company. And even though Aaron had been aware of the age gap between him and all of them, it was meaningless: Robert, Clive and Wendy treated him with all the respect that they showed one another. It made Aaron hold himself straighter, with more confidence. And when he laughed along with something that was said, Robert’s thumb brushed the inseam of Aaron's jeans in approval and pleasure.

Wendy had kept her promise of showing Aaron the photos Robert never let her show to anyone, and even as Aaron laughed uproariously at the stupid antics Robert and Clive were getting up to in the pictures, he couldn't help but feel a bit sad. The Robert in these photos—carefree and full of nothing but fun—was nowhere to be seen in the Robert he knew now.

‘Those were taken pre Louise,’ Wendy told him when she saw the younger man looking through them again. Robert and Clive were doing the dishes in the kitchen, Clive insisting that his wife should put her feet up for a few hours. 

Aaron put them back into the folders. ‘Sorry, I didn't mean—’

‘No, it's fine.’ She sat on the sofa next to Aaron. ‘Robert was younger then, if you're wondering why he's all—’ she gave a party yell under her breath and grinned.

‘It's nice to see him so carefree.’

‘He was, back then. I can see some of that coming back.’ She took one of the photos from Aaron's hand. Robert and Clive were at a party, balloons and banners hanging from the walls and ceiling. Robert had a drink in one hand and had his other arm around Clive’s shoulder. They were laughing at something out of frame. Aaron found himself smiling along with it. ‘I saw it before today,’ she said. ‘But I just realised that it's because of you that he looks a little more like this now. A little happier.’

Aaron's breath caught. ‘I—I've not done anything.’

She nudged her shoulder against his, and her voice was glowing. ‘I think you know what you've done.’

****

They had stayed for a glass of wine—Aaron trying his best not to make a face at the taste—and talked some more about nothing in particular. Aaron could feel himself starting to flag, but he didn't say anything. It was after the second yawn he'd had to stifle that Robert put his own glass on the table.

‘Ready to go, Baby? I'm falling asleep here.’

Aaron blinked. Robert didn't look tired at all. He was about to protest when Robert took his hand and pulled him up from the sofa. He hugged Wendy, thanking her for the meal and then slapped Clive jovially on the back.

‘Remember what I said,’ Clive told Robert, who pursed his lips. Aaron looked at him curiously but Robert didn't say anything. Then Aaron found his hand being shaken by Clive, and being pulled into a hug by Wendy.

At the door, Robert held Aaron's coat up for him and they maintained eye contact as Aaron slipped his arms into it. Joy shone out of Robert's every pore. They left with promises that they'd have to go out sometime. Once again, Robert held the car door open for Aaron.

‘Are you sure you were ready to go?’ Aaron asked, when Robert had started the car.

‘Yeah, course.’ He kissed Aaron's cheek. He didn't mention that he knew Aaron was tired, and Aaron was grateful for that. ‘Did you have a good time?’

‘Yeah I did.’ He was surprised to find he meant it; it was a good night, one of the best he'd had outside of spending time with either Robert or Adam in a long while. ‘They're great, Clive and Wendy. Did you?’

‘Yeah, it was good.’ He threw a wink at Aaron. ‘Can't wait to get you on your own though.’ 

That made Aaron's blood sing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: Port in a Storm


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please accept my most extreme apologies for the wait for this chapter! I've been working on a different non-fanfic related project, and it's taken a lot of my time. That said, please bear with me for the next chapter. I fully intend on completing this story, but it might take longer than it strictly should!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, and happy reading :) Thank you all again for your kudos, comments, and just for the continued reading of this story! It means such a lot to me!

As soon as the door closed behind them, Robert pounced onto Aaron, kissing him and holding him close. Aaron groaned into his boyfriend’s mouth, taking everything that Robert was giving him, and pulling him towards and up the stairs. Robert grinned into the kiss. ‘Desperate?’

Aaron pulled back and smirked. ‘Like you weren’t molesting my leg the whole way here.’ He nudged their noses together and kissed Robert again, but Robert moved before he could. ‘What?’

‘Thank you. Again. For today. You didn’t have to come along.’

Aaron dropped his hands to Robert’s waist, letting his fingers tug gently at his shirt. ‘No, but I wanted to. There’s a difference.’ He shrugged. ‘And it was fun.’

Robert smiled. ‘They liked you, I could tell.’ He pulled Aaron towards him for another kiss, this one slower and more tender than the others. 

‘Good,’ Aaron as good as purred. ‘Can you stop talking about Clive and Wendy now and take me to bed?’ The older man chuckled and did just that.

****

Aaron gasped and bolted out of sleep. His face was wet with tears and he was shivering, despite the duvet covering him and the warm body next to him. The warm body…

He leapt out of the bed, gasping with fear and had sprinted across the room before he heard the sleepy but concerned voice coming from the bed.

‘Aaron?’

It made him freeze, made him reach for the handle of the door, pleading that it wouldn't be locked—

‘Aaron! Hey, hey, what's wrong? C’mere.’

And a hand was on his shoulder and it was squeezing and somehow Aaron's mind—still caught in the horrific nightmare—conjured Tom’s face and Tom’s voice and he flinched. The hand moved away immediately.

‘Baby?’

 _Baby._ The term of endearment rang through him like a bell, and cleared everything else. Aaron slumped inwards, suddenly bone tired. Robert. It was Robert.

‘Rob?’

‘Hey, yeah it's me, Baby.’ A pause. ‘I'm gonna take you over to the bed, okay? Just so you can sit down. Is that okay?’

Clarity returned, like rainwater: fresh and cleansing. He nodded. Robert put one hand on his arm and the other on his back, gently guiding him to the bed, letting him sit on the edge. He knelt in front of him and cupped Aaron's face. ‘Aaron? You with me?’

Aaron breathed deep and closed his eyes. This was real, he reminded himself. This was his reality now: a loving boyfriend, Tom wasn't here, Aaron was safe. He opened his eyes and saw only Robert, all concern and love. Aaron turned his head and kissed the palm of Robert's hand. His boyfriend smiled.

‘Sorry,’ he whispered.

‘Don't be daft,’ Robert said, just as quiet. ‘You don't have anything to be sorry about.’ He stroked his thumb under Aaron's eye, where the tracks of his tears had dried. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah. I think so.’ He swallowed. ‘Could I have some water? My throat’s dry.’

‘Course.’ Robert pressed a fierce kiss to Aaron's forehead and went downstairs.

Aaron sat there and rubbed his hands across his face. He had no idea why he'd dreamt about Tom. He had had a good day with Robert and his friends. There had been no space for Tom at all. Yet somehow, there he had been. He just couldn't escape him. A wave of hopelessness swamped him suddenly, and before he could even draw another breath, he was sobbing into his cupped hands.

He didn't hear Robert return, but felt the bed dip with his weight as he sat next to him. Soft, loving kisses were pressed to his temple and to his hair, but still Aaron couldn't stop crying. 

‘Aaron, what can I do?’ Robert asked. The hopelessness that Aaron felt was in Robert's voice, and Aaron felt terrible for putting him through this, especially as they'd had such a good day previously. ‘What can I do, Baby?’

Aaron shook his head. He managed to gather himself enough to say ‘Nothing. Just… leave me alone for a bit.’

‘Not when you're like this.’

‘Robert! Just… leave me alone! I can't breathe.’ Robert put a hand on Aaron's back, but the younger man immediately shrugged him off. ‘No! I can't breathe with you here!’

‘Aaron—’

‘Just leave me alone, Robert!’

He didn't dare look up to see his boyfriend’s confused and hurt face, but Aaron could easily imagine it. He had pushed away enough people who loved him to know what it looked like. Robert didn't move for a short moment, but then the mattress shifted under him. Aaron had expected anger, maybe frustration. He didn't expect concern and love.

‘I'll be downstairs, okay?’ he said. ‘If you need anything… well, I'll be there.’ He pressed another kiss to Aaron's temple and then left the room. Shame and anguish plummeted through his body, but he couldn't stand the thought of Robert wanting to be anywhere near him. Aaron didn't deserve Robert's love. He curled up on the bed, and tried to sleep, resolving to leave in the morning.

****

Robert sat on the sofa and listened for any signs of Aaron in distress. He stayed awake the rest of the night, ears and eyes peeled for his presence on the stairs or his voice raised in pain. He knew that Aaron was just pushing him away. Why, he had no idea, but something told him not to take his boyfriend’s anger to heart. 

Which was why, when the sky was beginning to brighten with pre-dawn light and Aaron came downstairs fully dressed and asking to leave, Robert fought for him.

‘Just let me make you a cuppa,’ he pleaded. ‘We can talk.’

Aaron shook his head. ‘There's nothin’ to talk about.’ He looked tired; he had obviously slept as little as Robert had. ‘I just want to go home.’

And of course Robert wasn't about to keep him here if he wanted to go, but his heart clenched at the thought that he might not see Aaron again. He stood up and walked over to his boyfriend. Aaron's eyes were steadfastly on the floor. Robert cupped his face and encouraged him to look at him. ‘I don't know what happened last night, Aaron, but please don't shut me out.’ Aaron swallowed hard and avoided Robert's gaze. ‘I want you to talk to me. I want to know what's bothering you, so that we can work through it together.’

Aaron's eyes welled with tears. ‘You shouldn't have to do all this,’ he murmured.

‘All what, Baby?’

The younger man moved away from Robert's hands, and he let him go. ‘All this. Sufferin’ through my moods, me throwing you out of your own room. I'm not worth it.’

‘You are.’ Robert didn't even have to think about it. ‘You are worth everything, Aaron. You don't have any idea, do you? How much I love you.’

Aaron looked at him in wonder. ‘How?’ he asked. ‘I keep… pushing you away. We had a good day yesterday, and then I went and did _that_ last night.’

‘That wasn't you,’ Robert said. ‘That was what Tom did to you.’ He took Aaron's hand and just held it, just wanting to be close to him. ‘Do you think I can't tell the difference? Hm?’

‘I'm never gonna make this easy, Robert. It's never gonna be easy for us.’

‘I want you. I don't care about easy.’ He sighed. ‘If you still want to go home, I'll take you home,’ Robert said. ‘But just don't shut me out. Promise me you'll come back to me.’

Aaron looked down at their joined hands, and Robert's fingers tightened around his. He nodded. ‘I do want to go home. My mind is fried.’ 

‘Okay.’

‘But I'll come back, I promise.’ He stroked his thumb across the back of Robert's hand, and Robert felt his knees buckle with relief. ‘I'm sorry,’ Aaron whispered. ‘We had such a good day yesterday, and I ruined it.’

‘You didn't ruin anything.’ Robert pulled Aaron to him and hugged him close. Aaron wrapped his own arms around Robert's waist. He felt his need to protect and provide comfort bubbling near the surface, but tried his best to push it back down. This was about Aaron, not him.

Aaron pulled back from the embrace, and a small smile lifted his lips. Robert answered in kind. ‘A cup of tea before I go would be nice, though,’ he said.

Robert's heart leapt. ‘Yeah, course.’ He led Aaron to the kitchen and set about filling the kettle. ‘How about food?’

‘Um, yeah, maybe a slice of toast?’

Gratitude lit Robert from the inside out. It made him want to fall to his knees in front of Aaron, but he held back. It was just tea and toast, but just being able to do this for his boyfriend made him feel needed and wanted. He watched Aaron eat and drink, and his fingers itched to run through his hair, down his face and neck. He wanted to bury whispers of thanks into Aaron's skin. Robert had spent half the night feeling helpless and—as much as he knew Aaron was pushing him away through no fault of Robert's—he was scared to lose him. But this reassured him even more than Aaron's words did. Aaron knew what he needed, and he wanted Robert to know it. 

When he was done, Robert put the plate and mug into the sink, readying himself for taking Aaron home. He didn't expect his boyfriend to pull at his arm, to turn and face him, and for Aaron to kiss him. Robert let it linger for a moment before pulling back. ‘You don't have to do this,’ he murmured.

‘I want to.’ Aaron kissed him again, closed mouthed and swift. ‘Last night,’ he said, ‘it wasn't about you. It wasn't anything you did or didn't do. I had a nightmare and I freaked out.’ His fingers clenched in Robert's t shirt. 

Robert nodded. ‘Thank you. For telling me.’ He pushed his forehead against Aaron's. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you.’

****

Robert drove Aaron back to Emmerdale soon after. Aaron slept on and off in the car, but he was aware of the radio on a low volume and of Robert humming and occasionally singing next to him. He woke properly just before they reached the village. They sat in silence for a moment, even after Robert parked the car. 

‘I’d invite you in, but—’

‘Don't worry about it,’ Robert reassured him. ‘You need your rest anyway. Plus you might need to give your Mum some warning before I come visiting.’ They chuckled, but Aaron felt guilt settle like wet cloth in the pit of his stomach.

‘I'll talk her round soon,’ he said. ‘She's willing to give you a chance, so that's progress.’

‘Yeah. I won't have to be worried about being strung up from the nearest lamppost at least.’ Aaron opened his mouth to protest, but Robert smiled. ‘I'm joking. She's looking out for you.’

Aaron said nothing, but the words overprotective and controlling swept through his mind as quick as a breeze. He kissed Robert goodbye and headed inside. After his Mum had heard about Robert helping Aaron through a nightmare a few mornings ago, she had thawed slightly towards him. For Chas, that meant that she didn't sneer when Aaron got that smile on his face when he was texting Robert, or didn't curl her lips or roll her eyes when his name was mentioned. And like Aaron had told him: any progress, no matter how small, was progress nonetheless.

Chas was in the kitchen, making a cuppa when Aaron came home. She looked up and smiled. ‘Alright, Love?’

‘Yeah fine. You?’

She hummed around the rim of her mug. ‘You look nice,’ she said as she eyed him up and down. ‘Haven't seen that shirt come out of your dresser in ages. So where'd you go yesterday? As if I need to ask?’ It was progress indeed that she didn't sound too bitter.

Aaron still reserved his right to roll his eyes though, at least until his Mum achieved the level of acceptance which he could live with. ‘Yeah, I was with Robert. We had dinner with his mates actually.’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘Robert Sugden has mates? He must have changed!’

‘If you're just gonna—’

‘I'm joking, Love. Honest.’ She sipped her tea again. ‘So, dinner with his mates, eh? How was it?’

Aaron knew what she was really asking, because she knew exactly what he had been through with Tom whenever they went out with his friends. He got himself a glass of water and sat at the table with her. ‘It was good. Really good, actually. They're good company.’

‘And nothing… happened?’

‘No, nothing happened.’ He fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt. ‘I had a bad night again though.’ He hadn't planned on telling her, but she was his mother. She'd been the one going through all his bad times a couple of years ago, and now that the baton had been passed to Robert, Aaron hoped it would continue to open Chas’s eyes about the type of man he now was. ‘I dunno what happened. Everything was great, but I had a nightmare about Tom.’

She stared at him. ‘Did Robert—’

‘Before you ask, no Robert didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't about him. Robert helped. Again. Even after I tried to push him away.’ He took a breath. ‘He cares about me, and I care about him. I think—I think this might be it, Mum. Me and him. I can't see myself being with anyone else.’

Her eyes had softened as he talked, and now she reached across and patted his hand. ‘I'm… happy for you, Aaron.’

He grimaced. ‘Are you? ‘Cause that sounded forced.’

She sighed and nodded. ‘I can't say I'm over the moon about it,’ she admitted. ‘You know what I think about him. But I also know what you think about him, and what he thinks about you. I told you, didn't I? That I’d make an effort.’

‘I know you did. And thank you. I want to invite him to dinner soon. Here. With you and Paddy.’

‘Here?’

‘Yeah. I've met the closest thing he's got to family in the country; it's only right that he meets mine. Plus, you haven't really got to know him. The real him.’

For a moment he thought she'd say no; that she'd keep her nose out of their business, but she wasn't willing to sit around a table for hours with him. To her credit, she held back on what was likely going to come out of her mouth. Aaron had spent enough time getting to know his Mum’s tells to know that she was biting her tongue. ‘This means a lot to you doesn't it?’ she asked. When he nodded, she squeezed his hand. ‘Okay, Love. Invite him to Sunday dinner next week.’

‘Really?!’

She chuckled. ‘Yes, really. I'm doing this for you, mind.’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Open your mind about him, Mum. Just a little. And tell me after dinner next week what you think of him then.’ He knew realistically it would take a lot more than just one meal and a few hours in each other's company to change Chas’s mind about Robert, and from the look on her face, she knew it too. But given enough time, Aaron was certain that the Robert she thought she knew from years ago would be nothing but a distant memory.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos, comments, and as always your incredible patience!
> 
> In this chapter, the Sunday lunch isn't had just yet, but there are some revelations and realisations nonetheless! Happy reading :)

‘Oi!’ Aaron jerked out of his daydream of last week in Robert's bed to Adam throwing peanuts at him.

‘Ah! What?’

‘I didn't ask you to lunch to play gooseberry to you and your imagination, you know.’ He said it with a massive grin in place though, and Aaron couldn't help responding in kind, even as he shook his head in faux exasperation. ‘This is supposed to be me and you time, man. Haven't seen you in ages!’

‘Ad, you saw me yesterday. We went for a pint together.’ 

‘Yeah and you spent half the time texting lover boy. Or _thinkin’_ , about lover boy!’

Aaron ducked his head. It was true, as much as he hated to admit it: he had spent a great deal of his time thinking about Robert or being around Robert in some way. But they were still in the honeymoon phase, the time of the relationship when they couldn't stand being away from each other for longer than was strictly necessary. He shook himself. ‘Sorry.’ He sat up straight. ‘I'm here, promise.’

His friend smiled. ‘I'm pleased for you, mate, I really am.’

‘Yeah, just stop being so sickeningly in love, right?’

Adam stared at him open mouthed. ‘You're in love with him?’ Aaron bit his lip and nodded bashfully; he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks and his ears. Adam pounded his hand on the wooden picnic table. ‘Mate! I'm made up for you! He feels the same, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ 

Adam leaned across the table and slapped Aaron's shoulder. ‘Didn't realise it was that serious.’

Aaron wrinkled his nose. ‘Since when did we start talking about stuff like this?’

His friend laughed. ‘Mum must be a bad influence on me!’ They shared another chuckle, and Aaron could feel Adam’s eyes on him. ‘Honestly though, bro. I'm well pleased for you. After everything you went through, you deserve some happiness, you know?’

‘Thanks, mate.’ He ran his fingers up and down the pint glass, watching the paths they wrought in the condensation. ‘I'm bringin’ him to meet Mum and Paddy on Sunday,’ he said.

Adam whistled. ‘Must be love, eh? If you're okay introducin’ him to ‘em.’ He aimed a gentle kick at Aaron's shins. ‘How about me then? When do I get to meet him?’

‘When I know he can put up with you!’ Aaron chuckled at Adam’s cackling laugh, before they fell into companionable silence. He frowned, though, when he caught the thoughtful look on his best friend’s face. ‘What's up?’

Adam, to his credit, didn't try to pretend that nothing was wrong. They'd been friends for far too long to get away with that. ‘It's nothing,’ he said instead.

‘No it's not. You've got this weird look on your face.’

‘All right. I uh—I've been in touch with Vic.’

Aaron's eyes almost fell out of his head. ‘You wh—you mean _Vic_ Vic?’

‘How many Vics do we both know, man?’

‘Shit,’ Aaron breathed. ‘You kept that one quiet.’ He leaned back in his seat and just stared at Adam for a moment. He frowned. ‘You didn't tell her about me and Robert, did you?’

‘No. Funnily enough, we had other things to talk about.’ Aaron raised his eyebrows. ‘Sorry. No we… we just got talking and…’

‘Oh god you did something stupid.’

‘No! Well, yeah. Maybe. I… I told her I miss her.’

‘Ad!’

‘I know.’

‘What were you thinkin’?’

Adam sighed. ‘I was thinkin’ that my Mum is married, my best mate is off with his bloke, and I'm… well, I'm just here, aren't I? Watching time pass.’

Guilt made Aaron clench his shoulders. ‘Mate… we can spend more time together, yeah? Just me and you.’

‘It's not about that, Aaron. I guess I'm just lonely. Did you tell Rob that me and Vic used to… be a thing?’

‘No.’ Aaron shrugged. ‘He doesn't like talking about his family, so I leave it alone.’ Adam nodded, but there was a despondent tilt to his mouth. ‘Should I have told him?’

‘Nah, mate. It was what it was, y’know? Two mates foolin’ around, and then she left.’ He picked at the table top, the wood scraping easily, and as quickly as his somber mood arrived, it dissipated. ‘Besides, what kinda impression will that give him, eh? When I finally meet him properly I don't wanna be the guy who fooled around with his sister!’

Aaron laughed, because he sensed that maybe Adam needed him to forget about what he'd said, or at least let the moment pass. They weren't strangers to being vulnerable around each other, but they both had limits all the same. Still, he tucked away what he'd learned. He wouldn't interfere, but perhaps he could encourage when the time was right.

****

Aaron had never been particularly intuitive. It was something that his Mum had teased him about multiple times, but also something that had got him into trouble more than a few times. Still, he'd have to be dead to not pick up on the nerves radiating off Robert.

‘Rob, it’s just dinner with Mum and Paddy. And it's not until tomorrow!’

He watched his boyfriend flit from shelf to shelf of wine, trying to make a decision. Robert paused to give him an incredulous look. ‘Aaron, this is a huge deal. I'm meeting two people who not only already have a negative view of me, but who mean a lot to the man I love. Forgive me if I'm—’

‘Freaking out?’ Aaron finished drily. 

‘Yes. Fine, okay, I'm freaking out. Now, help me choose a wine. What is your Mum cooking?’

Aaron rolled his eyes and ignored the question. ‘Rob, she works in a pub. She could have her choice of any wines she wanted from there.’

Robert's face fell, and Aaron instantly felt bad. ‘I just want to impress them,’ he said. ‘I feel like there's a lot riding on this.’

‘You don't need to buy expensive wine to impress my parents. Seriously, they're not like that.’

‘It's the only thing I know how to do.’ He sounded so vulnerable. Aaron felt incredibly protective of him in that moment. ‘Just… let me do this, please?’

Aaron bit his lip. He knew that his Mum and Paddy wouldn't be impressed, that they'd see it as Robert throwing his money around and showing off with it. He tried to tell Robert that, but his boyfriend was having none of it. So he conceded, and looked around the shelves with him, and just resolved to stand up for Robert if his parents started to throw attacks or insults.

‘What about this?’ Robert said, holding a bottle out for Aaron to inspect. ‘Goes well with almost anything, and supposed to be good.’

Aaron's eyes widened. ‘At eighty quid a bottle I should hope so! Rob, that's too much!’ He was less worried about the very small dent it would make in Robert's bank balance, and more concerned about what insults Chas would throw at him, because making an effort or not, Aaron knew his mother just wouldn't be able to help herself. His heart crumbled in on itself just thinking about it.

‘It's worth it,’ Robert insisted. ‘Just a yes or no, that'll do.’

‘Robert—’

‘Aaron, please. Just—let me do this? Please.’

He sighed, but nodded. ‘Okay, go on then.’

Robert seemed to relax before his eyes, as if the wine—or rather, what it represented—was a shield. As they exited the shop, Aaron couldn't help but tenderly run circles across his boyfriend’s back, needing to reassure him without words that he didn't need the shield, but knowing that the words wouldn't be welcomed right now. Robert smiled at him, shaky but there.

‘Can I buy you something?’ he asked. ‘A shirt perhaps?’

‘Robert.’ Aaron sighed. ‘What's this all about?’

‘What?’

Aaron gestured at the jute bag holding the much too expensive wine. ‘That, for starters. And now the shirt?’

‘I just want to make sure everything is perfect… or at least as perfect as it can be.’ He held Aaron's hand when the younger man went to gesture at the alcohol again. ‘Please. It'd just make me feel a lot more comfortable if I can do this.’

And again, Aaron conceded. ‘Fine. But I choose the shirt. Nothing… floral, and none of your poncy elbow patches.’ It surprised a laugh out of Robert at least. When he selected a shirt, and when Robert paid for it, Aaron saw him shed the last few traces of unease. 

He spent the night with Robert, reassuring him with touches of hands and lips that he would be fine; that _they_ would be fine. Robert was more careful than ever, more careful than he needed to be as he made love to Aaron, checking on him with almost every thrust for the first few minutes. Aaron resisted the urge to flip them, to show Robert that he was fine as he rode him into the mattress. He knew that Robert needed to be sure of Aaron's comfort, and Aaron in turn wanted to indulge him. So instead he assured him with deep, tender kisses, and if that shut him up at the same time well, Robert didn't need to know that.

When Aaron woke in the early hours of the morning, Robert was facing away from him but still asleep. He couldn't help himself, and pulled the man over so that his head was resting on Aaron's chest, and Aaron for a moment got to provide comfort for him instead. He ran his fingertips up and down Robert's arm, and returned to the welcoming embrace of slumber.

****

Sunlight crept into the bedroom and woke Robert with a soft, warm touch. Aaron was snoring gently, closer to Robert's ear than usual. He gave himself a moment to wake fully, before allowing himself to properly feel Aaron's bare skin against his cheek. Just as he did, Aaron's breathing changed, and his fingers skimmed lightly across Robert's arm and back. 

‘Morning,’ Robert whispered. Aaron grunted in reply. They lay in silence for a while longer, both content to just be with each other. They hadn't had the chance to spend the night with each other the past week, and Robert had missed waking up with the younger man. His bed and his house felt too big and too empty without him. 

‘Missed you this week,’ he murmured. 

Aaron shifted, and pressed a kiss to the top of Robert's head. ‘Me too.’ The action surprised Robert somewhat, the emotion in him similar to when Aaron ran his fingers through his hair when Robert was dressing him: the feeling of peace and being soothed. He pressed himself closer to Aaron and was rewarded with a light chuckle and a firmer press of his fingers to Robert's shoulders. ‘Wh’time’sit?’

Robert reached over Aaron and picked up his phone from the bedside cabinet. He squinted as he tried to decipher the digits on the display. ‘Nearly 9.30. Alarm will go off in a bit.’ Aaron had already drifted off again, and Robert smiled. He turned the alarms off, pressed a light kiss to Aaron's cheek, and rose from the bed. It was still early enough for a cup of tea and something to eat, so he dressed as quietly as he could and tiptoed downstairs. 

As he put bread into the toaster, a gentle wave of an epiphany lapped at his mind: he wanted this every morning. Waking up with Aaron, preparing him breakfast, even taking it up to bed for him if he had to. And he wanted to come home to Aaron every night, wanted to know he was coming home to the man he loved instead of an empty house, wanted to know he'd see him every day instead of having to rely on a few moments of spare time or his lunch hour to call him. He wanted Aaron for the rest of his life. The thought shook him to his core, but it didn't scare him. It felt right, as though things were slotting into place, a guitar string being tuned just right after years of being off-key, a void being filled after a too long period of feeling empty.

But Robert _was_ afraid of scaring Aaron off. He had learned his lesson when he told the younger man he loved him, and Aaron reacted badly to it. Asking Aaron to move in with him, maybe even more, would take a lot of time; though it was time which was undoubtedly worth it.

He had buttered the toast and made the tea on autopilot as he had pondered, and climbed the stairs with the breakfast on a tray. Aaron was awake, sitting up in bed and talking on the phone—or rather listening—and Robert mourned the chance to wake him up properly with kisses and gentle caresses. He set the breakfast tray on his bedside cabinet and climbed on the bed, smiling when Aaron winked at him in thanks.

‘Yeah, I know what time we eat, Mum,’ he was saying. ‘I have eaten with you before, you know.’ He chuckled, and Robert's smile widened to hear it. Aaron had told him that he and Chas had been getting along better since Chas promised she'd give Robert a chance. It was partly why he didn't want to mess up today's Sunday lunch: he didn't want to cause a rift between mother and son after they seemed to be mending bridges again. ‘We won't be late, promise. Okay. See you later.’ He hung up, stifled a yawn, and Robert couldn't help himself: he leaned over and kissed him. Aaron smiled. ‘Hi,’ he breathed.

‘Morning.’ Robert pecked his lips again. ‘Toast and tea for breakfast.’

Aaron nodded, but pulled Robert back into another kiss. ‘It can wait.’

****

Robert emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Aaron was already in his jeans, and furiously rubbing his short hair with a towel. Robert took it from him and dried Aaron's hair, being much more gentle than Aaron had been. Aaron was biting his lip, and Robert knew he was holding back a laugh. Robert grinned: they'd had this conversation before, about how Aaron always was too vigorous, but Aaron complained that Robert couldn't get the job done if he was too gentle. They'd realised the innuendo and had both laughed like teenagers.

_I want you forever._

The thought wafted through Robert's head like a cool spring breeze: welcomed but not urgent. Just a pleasant thought for now. He patted Aaron's hair with his hands, carded his fingers through it. It was still damp, but would dry on its own now.

‘Where's the shirt I bought you?’ Robert asked.

Aaron went to the bag in the corner of the room, and carefully pulled the shirt out. It was modest; an item that wouldn't be out of place in Aaron's wardrobe: navy blue and patternless, it had caught Aaron's eye right away. Robert had initially wanted to push for something a little different to Aaron's usual garb, something a little smarter, but then Aaron had pointed out the three-quarter length sleeves, and Robert had thought about his boyfriend’s pleasantly muscled arms and had relented with ease. Robert took the shirt from him and checked it over, making sure it didn't have any creases.

‘It's just my Mum and Paddy,’ Aaron said, though his voice was soft, and Robert knew his boyfriend was indulging him. 

‘I know.’ He held the shirt up again, and made to hand it to Aaron, but the younger man shook his head.

‘You do it,’ he said. 

Robert's heart stuttered. He had dressed Aaron on a fair few occasions now, but each time—especially when he offered before Robert had to ask—made his breath catch, and he fell even more in love with Aaron. He didn't think it was possible. He unbuttoned it and held it open for him. Robert let his hands graze Aaron's arms, loving the play of muscle and tendons as Aaron stretched and moved. Aaron noticed Robert's admiration and grinned, and Robert couldn't resist kissing the smug smile off his boyfriend’s lips. He buttoned the shirt, but before he could move away, Aaron held him by the forearms. 

‘It's gonna be fine,’ he said. When Robert nodded, Aaron kissed him lightly, just a brush of his lips, barely there. ‘Don't be long.’ Robert watched him disappear into the bathroom to style his hair. He turned to his wardrobe and looked through his shirts. He _needed_ this to go well. He needed to prove to Aaron's family that he would do right by Aaron, that he could take care of him, that he would never hurt him. Of course, what shirt he chose to wear wouldn't affect that, but it would affect the way they saw him. Robert knew enough about appearance and impressions to be an expert on it. In the end he settled for something plain, a light blue shirt—which just happened to nicely complement Aaron's darker blue—and a pair of black jeans: appropriately smart-casual. He heard Aaron go downstairs as he dressed, and Robert smiled. The house was _alive_ in a way it hadn't been for years, and it felt as if it too had been crying out for something to give it new life. Again, he filed away for later his want to ask Aaron to take that next step with him. He wasn't sure when would be a good time, but when Robert was already swimming in an ocean of nerves wasn't it. It would keep. He knew with a sincere and strong certainty that neither he or Aaron were going anywhere.

Aaron was texting when Robert went downstairs. The younger man looked up and smiled at him. ‘All right?’ 

‘Yeah. You?’

Aaron nodded. He held up his phone. ‘Just texting Mum; telling her we’re on our way.’ He tapped for a few seconds more, then put the phone in his pocket. 

‘This is okay, yeah?’ Robert asked, holding his arms out. Aaron's lips lifted in a small smile. He walked to Robert, each step seeming deliberate and loaded with desire. Robert's blood ran much too hot. ‘What're you doing?’ he murmured.

‘Just checkin’ you're okay.’ He ran his hands down Robert's chest, and they settled on his waist. Automatically, Robert's own hands cupped Aaron's face, his fingers brushing his jawline. They leaned into each other and kissed. ‘You look great,’ Aaron whispered. ‘Stop worrying. Seriously.’ His eyes dropped to Robert's lips, but instead of receiving another kiss, Aaron backed off. ‘Ready to go?’

Robert took a deep breath. ‘Ready as I can be.’


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s here!!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your patience! And thank you all for your kudos and comments despite this work being on hiatus. You don’t know how much it means to know that people were still reading and enjoying this story regardless of the update hitch!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this newest chapter. More about Chas is explored and explained, and Robert uncovers more hints of what Aaron went through with Tom. Happy reading!
> 
> (By the way, if anyone sees any discrepancies here that don’t match with what I’ve already said (facts about dates/years etc), please do let me know! I can’t bear to read over my own stuff, especially the early chapters of this!)

Robert tapped his fingers against the steering wheel; a staccato rhythm which got Aaron's frustrated attention. ‘Sorry,’ he said when—like the sharp prick of cocktail sticks—he felt Aaron's eyes on him. A few moments passed with only the radio keeping the silence at bay, before Robert started up again. This time, Aaron took his left hand from the wheel and held it on his own thigh. Robert chuckled. ‘Okay, point taken.’

Aaron smiled at him, squeezed his hand and then let go. ‘I was nervous as hell when I met Jackson’s Mum for the first time,’ he said. Robert looked at him in surprise, but didn't say anything, not wanting to spook him. ‘I dressed up and everything.’

‘Dressed up?’ Robert couldn't help a snort of laughter, and was answered in kind.

‘Well, I put on a nice shirt.’

‘And he didn't even have to ask!’ Jealousy brewed in his stomach, but Robert pushed it down. Aaron and Jackson were far in the past. He had been told by Aaron just why it didn't work out, and knew that whilst his time with Jackson still had some happy memories, Aaron was better off without him. 

‘He did ask me to change though,’ Aaron said with a roll of his eyes. ‘Makin’ an effort, and was told to just put on something normal. But yeah, nervous as hell. And Hazel wasn't a wallflower! But I talked to her, was as normal as I could be around her. And… things worked out.’

‘You were going into it with a clean slate, though,’ Robert argued. ‘Jackson’s Mum didn't know you. Chas and Paddy—’

‘Don't know you either. They know the man you used to be. Robert, my Mum saw the way you were when you slept over the other night, she heard how you cared for me. That counts for a lot.’

‘I hope so.’ Robert ran his hand through his hair. He had spent so long, so many years of his life not feeling good enough. He couldn't let anything ruin it.

They passed the sign welcoming them to the village. Robert's palm was clammy, and his stomach clenched as bats flew around it. Was this how Aaron felt going to Robert's birthday party, back in April? Or going to dinner on Saturday with Clive and Wendy? He had complete sympathy and understanding for him at this point.

When they got out of the car after parking outside the pub, Aaron punched Robert lightly on the arm. ‘It's not an execution you know,’ he teased. He let Robert take his hand and Aaron led him to the side door. They let themselves in, and Robert had to consciously tell himself to breathe. A few hours. That was it. A small ask when he had Aaron in return.

Chas was attempting some kind of smile in Robert's direction; it was awkward to say the least. She had welcomed Aaron with a hug and a kiss on the cheek as if she hadn't just seen him the morning before, and then said hello to Robert, welcoming him into her home.

‘Just waiting on Paddy, and the carrots,’ she said. That seemed to be the limit of her conversation.

Robert cleared his throat and presented the bottle of wine to her. ‘It's red,’ he said, as if it needed explaining. ‘Hope it goes with… whatever's cooking.’

Chas accepted the wine with a grimace, which only deepened when she clocked the name of it. ‘Expensive,’ she said. 

Aaron sighed. ‘Mum.’

Her smile was as fake as the gold pineapple on the shelf. ‘Just saying, love. Didn't need to splash out that much, Robert.’ Aaron shook his head at her, and she seemed to catch herself. ‘But thank you,’ she said. When she headed back to the kitchen, Robert raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend. Looked like Chas was going to keep her word, however begrudgingly.

****

It felt like he was waiting in a courthouse for his case to come up. Robert sat on the sofa, his hands clasped and rubbing his palms together nervously. Aaron was next to him, but it didn't take away from the pressure, like the devil dancing on his chest: the pressure to prove himself, to show that he was good enough for Aaron, that he was worth his time. Aaron nudged him, easy with his gestures and Robert appreciated it, even as he still couldn't uncoil the tension in his body. Chas seemed to make a point of keeping busy in the kitchen, and Aaron had picked up on it as well.

‘Mum,’ he called. ‘Come sit down. You've washed that same pot six times now.’

Robert couldn't help a small smile pulling at his mouth. Chas’s shoulders stiffened, and a moment later she slid the sparkling pot onto the drainer, before turning to them with her fake smile in place again.

‘Just making sure things are perfect,’ she said. She sat at the dining table and seemed to stare Robert down. He met her eyes straight on, and tried not to falter. ‘So, Robert.’ Her eyes gleamed, like a lioness who just spied an injured gazelle. ‘What exactly do you do? I mean, you don't seem to make any secret that you're loaded.’

‘Mum!’

‘Its all right,’ Robert said. ‘I work for an events planning company.’

She snorted. ‘What, and you're telling me that that job gets you as much money as you seem to have?’

Robert took a deep breath, but Aaron put his hand on his knee. ‘You don't have to tell her anything,’ he murmured. But Robert shook his head: if he wanted to keep Aaron, it was best that he didn't keep secrets from the woman who could most likely ensure that he went nowhere near Aaron. 

‘This isn't my first job,’ he explained. In for a penny in for a pound. ‘And I came off well enough in my divorce, as it happens.’ If he expected sympathy, he was disappointed. 

Chas’s eyebrows crashed around her eyes, framing them in anger. ‘You're _divorced_ as well?!’ She turned to Aaron. ‘Did you know about that?’

Aaron rolled his eyes. ‘Of course I did.’

‘I told Aaron on our first date. I don't intend to keep secrets like that from him, Chas.’

‘And how old was _he_?’ Chas spat. ‘Your last husband?’

He clenched his eyes shut. This was where he faced the most difficulty with anyone, so he was readying himself for a fight. ‘Wife, actually,’ he said. ‘I'm bisexual.’

Chas's lips pursed. ‘Right. So how long until you run off for another woman then?’

‘For gods sake, Mum!’

‘How can you trust him to not want to go back to women again, love?’

Robert shook his head. ‘That's not how bisexuality works.’

When Chas looked ready to argue again, Aaron snapped first. ‘I thought you were gonna try to be civil?’ His teeth were clenched and bared at her. 

Once again, she pursed her lips though this time it was more that she was keeping a retort in. She took a breath. ‘Aaron, love, are you sure this is what you want?’

‘What?’

‘Robert has been married before; to a _woman_. How can you trust him?’

‘He's in the room,’ Aaron seethed. ‘And not everyone is as closed-minded as you.’ Chas's face dropped. 

The outside door opened just then, and Paddy walked into the room which was being strangled by tension. Robert felt Aaron vibrating with it next to him, and he stroked his finger surreptitiously across the back of Aaron's hand to try and calm him. 

Paddy picked up on the tension immediately. ‘Everything all right?’ Chas cleared her throat and schooled her expression. 

‘Fine. Robert's here.’ It was said with no warmth whatsoever, and Robert sighed and avoided Paddy’s gaze. 

Paddy put a bottle of wine on the dining table (Chas nodded at the brand in approval), and then started to talk quietly to Chas. They couldn't have made it more obvious they were talking about him. ‘Maybe I should just go,’ Robert murmured to Aaron. 

‘Don't be daft.’ Aaron's tone was gruff, but Robert knew well enough it wasn't to do with him. ‘I invited you here, and besides this is my home as well.’

‘I just don't want to—’

Paddy cleared his throat. ‘Dinner’s ready.’ His eyes were on Robert, and he could as good as sense the argument that was coming as soon as the meal was over. 

****

Dinner was awkward. It was unpleasant and uncomfortable, and if it wasn't for Aaron's presence beside him as solid as a mountain in a storm, Robert would have run out of there the moment the first forkful of food touched his tongue. 

‘Tastes great, Chas,’ he had complimented in the first few moments, and that was the extent of their conversation. Robert sighed inwardly. So much for making a good kind-of-first impression. His past was, once again, working against him but more than that, he had the feeling that Chas was determined to dislike him no matter what. His sexuality was just another point to add to her own personal list. 

Paddy cleared his throat. ‘So Robert…’ All eyes turned to him, and the vet stammered his way through a question. ‘Chas tells me you've been married before? You can't be on the lookout for anything too serious now, can you?’

Aaron threw his fork on his plate. ‘Not you too, Paddy.’ He turned his glare on Chas. ‘Did you put him up to this?’

Chas tried to look as innocent as she could, but she clearly wasn't fooling anyone. Robert wiped the corner of his mouth with his napkin, and answered Paddy if only to keep the peace. ‘I got divorced a year and a half ago. I've been single since then for the most part—’

‘Until you decided to prey on my Aaron,’ Chas snarled. 

‘No, that's enough!’ Aaron shouted. ‘I won't have you talkin’ to him like that.’

Paddy’s voice was gentle as he held up a placating hand to his pseudo-son. ‘She didn't mean it like that. I think—I think she's just worried because you're so much younger than Robert.’

‘What's that got to do with anything?’ Aaron countered. ‘What about the two of you? There's god knows how many years between you two, but you made it work ages ago.’

‘It's different, love.’

‘Why?’

Chas’s mouth opened and closed. ‘Because—’

‘Because I'm _vulnerable_? Because of the way Tom fucked me up?!’

‘Aaron!’

‘That's what you were gonna say, wasn't it?’

Robert pressed his hands to the table to stop them shaking in rage towards Aaron's Mum. ‘I don't want to cause any trouble—’

‘Too late,’ Chas interrupted. 

Robert for the first time turned his glare on her. ‘Chas, all I want is for Aaron to be happy. I thought you understood that. I thought you knew how much he means to me.’

‘Forget it, Rob, she's impossible.’ Aaron threw his napkin on the table and got to his feet. 

‘Where are you going?’ Chas yelled. 

‘Away from this.’ He touched Robert's shoulder, and though Robert followed him, he stopped Aaron at the doorway. 

‘Look, go for a walk, take Paddy with you, yeah? I think your Mum and I need to chat.’ 

‘No! She's—’

‘I can handle this, Baby. She just needs to see it from our side.’

Aaron scoffed. ‘Yeah, good luck getting any sense out of her.’ He left nonetheless, and Robert was quick to usher Paddy after him before he got too far. 

Robert returned to his seat. Chas was staring him down, still as a statue. ‘I hope you're happy with what you've caused,’ she said. 

‘I haven't done anything,’ he sighed. ‘From the sounds of it, Aaron thought you were going to give me a chance. It's why I asked to meet you: I thought we could be civil at least.’ He leaned his elbows on the table and massaged his temples with the tips of his fingers. Only since his divorce had he ever felt this tired; this aware of his age. All the fight had rushed out of him, if it had ever been there. He knew this would be difficult, but he wasn't prepared for this. ‘Chas, I don't understand why you're so against me. I mean—’ he held his hand up when she made to argue. ‘I know the things you've heard about me, but Christ, your family are hardly saints.’

‘You are seeing my son, and I've heard stories about how you used to treat the girls you were with. I don't want that for him.’

‘So why tell him you'd make the effort?’

‘I'd _hoped_ I could talk him round.’

And the questions about what he did for a living, his relationship status, they made sense now. Chas thought he was keeping secrets from Aaron. ‘Chas, there isn't anything that I've done that Aaron doesn't know about,’ he said. ‘What you're doing, interrogating me like this, it's just pushing him away from _you_.’ He shook his head. ‘I know you want to think the worst of me, but I do love Aaron. More than I've loved anyone else.’

‘That boy is everything to me—’

‘He is to me as well. But Chas, he's an adult. He knows his own mind and can make his own choices.’

When she looked at him then, he saw the suffering in her eyes, the way they filled with tears. ‘He hasn't told you, has he? What that… that _scum_ did to him.’

‘Tom?’

‘I swore to him that I'd protect him, Robert.’

‘Even if that means controlling everything he does?’

‘If you knew what Tom did to him, you wouldn't be asking me that.’

Robert knew he wouldn't ask Chas now. That was Aaron's story to tell, but there was clearly something more, something else that Aaron had never told him about what Tom did to him. It made him cold all over, and for a moment he understood why Chas wanted to protect Aaron as much as she did. But he knew the depths of Aaron's strength. 

Seeing that she was in distress, Robert took a chance and took the seat next to her. He put a hand on her shoulder. ‘I love Aaron. I will do anything and everything I can to make sure he's safe. But Aaron is stronger than you give him credit for.’

‘You've known him for all of five minutes, what do you know?’

‘I know that he's strong enough to accept _me_ for who I am. He's strong enough to move on from whatever Tom did to him and to try and be happy again.’ 

Tears trickled down her cheeks and she swept them away. ‘There was a moment, years ago, when I thought I'd lost him. You don't know pain like that.’

‘No, I don't. And if—if anything happened to Aaron I'd—’ he swallowed his fear of the very thought. ‘I'd tear the world apart to make sure he was safe again. I'm not asking you to step away from him; I'd never do that, you're his Mum. But I'm asking you to trust me to keep him safe, and to trust Aaron's own strength.’

She nodded, but said nothing else. Robert took it as agreement nonetheless. He got up and started to collect the dirty plates on the table. It was whilst he was stacking them ready to be washed that she spoke. 

‘For a long time after Tom, I wanted to be the only person that Aaron relied on. Well, me and Paddy.’

‘That's no life for him, Chas. And that isn't your choice to make.’

‘I know.’ She stood and walked into the kitchen, taking the wash cloth from the side and filling the sink with hot water. ‘I need to let him go.’

‘Not completely, but you need to let him be his own man.’

Again, she nodded. ‘I'll lay off him,’ she conceded. ‘Let you both be, for now. But if you hurt him, Robert, you'll wish you'd never set eyes on him.’ Then, instead of waiting for an answer, she flung the dishcloth at him. ‘Don't just stand there then.’

Robert laughed under his breath. It was progress at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [Port in a Storm](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait! As an apology, I am posting two chapters this morning! I hope you enjoy them.

Aaron was well aware that he was running away. He was well aware that it was neither the most mature nor most productive action to take. But his Mum was so over-bearing with her need to take control of his life. Of everyone, Chas should know how much Aaron needed to feel in control, but she just couldn’t help herself. So he’d run. Taken control and run.

He was standing on the bridge, watching the play of the late afternoon sun on the softly undulating ripples of water beneath him. It was calming. Then, the calm was broken by the sound of footsteps on the bridge. They were too heavy to be his mother’s, and they weren’t Robert’s—which left only—

‘I don’t want to talk, Paddy,’ Aaron said.

‘All right.’ So his Dad just stood next to him, letting the silence settle back around them like dust. 

Eventually, Aaron huffed. ‘I just…I hate how she always thinks she knows what’s best for me.’

Paddy shifted to face Aaron properly. ‘She doesn’t think that.’

‘She does. She thinks that I’m some sort of child; that I can’t take care of myself.’

‘Aaron. Look at me.’ He did. ‘Your Mum cares about you more than anything in the world. She watched you grow up, and she was there for you through—through most things. Wasn’t she?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Except for Tom. She didn’t see it coming. None of us did.’

‘Paddy—’

‘No, listen to me first, then you can say your piece. She thought Tom was right for you, and so she didn’t interfere. Not even when she didn’t hear from you for those two weeks. She told me she wanted to let you just get on with it; that you had your life, and she knew the boundaries. But then… that phone call from you that day—’

‘Don’t.’

‘I won’t. I’m just tryin’ to tell you that… that she let you be once before, and well, look how things turned out. She’s scared of history repeating itself.’

Aaron nodded. ‘I get all that, Paddy. Of course I do. But… she should know that I can’t take her just… controlling me the way she does. I know—I know she’s not… it’s not like it was with Tom.’ He swallowed, hard. ‘Just. Sometimes, I think that I’m just one argument away from her… locking me in my room.’

Paddy opened his arms and enfolded Aaron in his warm embrace. Aaron exhaled shakily. He hadn’t voiced that fear to anyone yet, and he hated that it had crossed his mind more than once. He knew Chas would never do that to him, but it didn’t stop his mind from conjuring every single what if scenario. 

‘Your Mum cares about you _so much_ ,’ Paddy murmured. ‘She hasn't said as much, but I know it's killing her that… that you're pulling away from her.’

Aaron pulled back. ‘I'm not pulling away.’ At his Dad’s look, he rolled his eyes and amended: ‘Fine, I'm not _not_ pulling away. I'm just sick of it, you know? Robert—he's the _only_ person who knows everything—almost everything—and doesn't look at me like I'm some kind of pathetic victim. And I'm so glad for that, Paddy. I don't want to make the Tom in my head feel like he's won. I want to get on with my life, and I want my Mum to let me. I don't want her to treat me any differently just because of what happened.’

‘But she will, Aaron. Just as you can't stop the way you feel, neither can she.’ He scrutinised him, his blue eyes soft and caring behind his glasses. ‘Talk to her,’ he urged. ‘Let her say her piece as well. Try to understand each other. She only wants what’s best for you.’

Aaron chewed his lip. Finally, with reluctance, he agreed. 

****

The back room was quiet. _Maybe they've killed each other_ Aaron thought. As terrible as the idea was, the humour brought a small smile to his lips. What he found was possibly even more unbelievable: Robert and his Mum sitting at the table together, hands wrapped around mugs of tea, and talking quietly. There were no smiles or laughter between them (that would have made Aaron pass out there and then), but the quiet conversation instead of a heated argument or loud row was not _at all_ something that Aaron had anticipated. 

They both looked up when he and Paddy walked in. Robert was the first on his feet, and Aaron walked willingly into his embrace. 

‘All right?’ Robert asked when he had pulled back. He looked deeply into his lover’s eyes, and somehow in that moment, Aaron knew he'd never find anyone like Robert; anyone who loved him the way Robert did. 

He nodded, suddenly overwhelmed. ‘Yeah.’ He looked over Robert's shoulder at Chas, who was standing back, but watching them closely. He smiled at her: small, uncertain, but the most that he could muster. ‘I—I need to—’ he gestured to her as he spoke to Robert, and his boyfriend nodded. 

‘Yeah, course.’ He held Aaron's hand for a brief second, squeezing it in reassurance. ‘D’you want me to stay or—’

Aaron nodded. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’ He’d need Robert later. His boyfriend smiled and pressed a kiss to Aaron's forehead. 

‘Call me when you need me.’ He turned to Chas next. ‘I know we didn't really… get off to the right start.’ Chas exhaled a laugh. ‘I'd like to try again.’ He looked at Paddy as well, addressing them both. ‘Maybe we could go out for dinner somewhere? My treat, of course.’

Paddy laughed, but it was good naturedly teasing. ‘You really want to go through all this again, do you?’

Robert's arm went around Aaron's waist, and he pulled him close. Aaron's breath hitched at the intimacy of the action. He wanted to drag Robert upstairs; tell his Mum that whatever they had to say could wait until the morning. But he held off. This was important for both Robert and himself. 

‘Aaron is everything to me,’ he said. ‘I would do anything for him, and right now that means him not having to choose between us, or tear himself in two trying to make us all happy. So, yeah, I'll do all this again. I'll do it a hundred times over if I have to.’

Overwhelming love coursed through Aaron's veins. No one had ever loved him like this before; no one had been willing to do so much for him—maybe it was because no one had ever had to go through so many trials by fire for him before but even so, it would have been so easy for Robert to just walk away. But he hadn't. He put his hand over Robert's and linked their fingers together. 

With his piece said, Robert kissed Aaron's cheek lightly, and left the room so that the small family could talk on their own. Chas approached Aaron with caution, eyes wide. ‘Love.’ Her breath was unsteady. ‘I'm sorry. I know you think I've been overbearing, but it's only because I care about you.’

Aaron nodded. ‘I'm sorry too. Yeah, you have Paddy to thank for that.’ He sighed. ‘Mum. I know that you're worried, and yeah, after—after Tom you have a reason to. But… I'm gonna tell you something, right, and you're not gonna like it, but it's the way I feel. Okay?’

‘Okay, Love.’ He could see her steeling herself for what he had to say. Her shoulders straightened and she started wringing her hands together. He had picked up his nervous habits from her. 

He gestured to the chairs, and as his Mum took her seat, Aaron cast an entreating look Paddy’s way. Paddy smiled at him in encouragement, but thumbed toward the door, asking the silent question of whether he should leave. Aaron shook his head, so his Dad followed him to the table. 

Aaron cleared his throat. ‘Mum. Look, I know you mean well. I know that you have my best interests at heart—’

‘I do, son.’

‘Mum.’

‘Sorry.’

He nodded. If he had to do this, he wanted to get it over and done with, like a plaster ripped off a wound. ‘I know that you worry about me. Especially after Tom, I know it's hard for… for all of us. Sometimes though… I feel. I feel like—Mum, I get scared that you're gonna take control. The way _he_ did.’

The reaction was instant. Chas's face fell; her mouth dropped open. Guilt bubbled in Aaron's stomach like a freezing pit of ice. Time stretched. ‘Say something,’ he pleaded. 

‘I don't know what to say.’ She shook her head, frantic. ‘Aaron, I would never hurt you like that! I'd hope you'd _know_ that!’

‘I do, but—’

‘What that—that monster did to you, son, it makes my stomach turn to think about it! And you think I'd be capable of something like that?!’

‘Of course not!’

‘It must be what you think of me underneath it all!’

Aaron let his head fall into his hands. It was impossible to speak to her like this. Paddy took over. ‘I don't think Aaron thinks you're capable of that,’ he said in his soft voice. ‘He's just scared th—’

‘Scared of me!’ Chas shouted. 

‘You're not listening, Mum!’ Every instinct in Aaron's body was telling him to get out. Get out, find Robert, go somewhere far far away. But he stayed. He needed to face this. ‘All I need from you is to be my Mum! I understand that you worry, but you… you take control! You want to control everything that I do, to the point that I get scared that I'll try to open the door and find it locked!’

There was an awful silence. 

‘How long have you felt that way?’

Aaron shrugged. ‘Since you started going on at me about Robert. And before you say anything, he didn't put this in my head.’

‘I know.’

‘’Cause I know that you—what? You know?’ He frowned. ‘You've changed your tune.’

‘You've both been saying your piece today,’ Chas said. He couldn't make out her tone beyond the obvious sadness. ‘You've said yours, so let me say mine. I know I can be over protective, Aaron. But if you had any idea what my head was like when you called me after that _man_ had kept you locked away like that…’ she swallowed hard. ‘I just want you to be happy and safe, Love.’

‘I am, Mum. With Robert.’

‘You said the same thing about Tom once,’ Chas said. Then she put up her hands. ‘I know, I know; he's not Tom, and I'm actually starting to believe that now. But it didn't stop me worrying, Aaron. Robert said you're everything to him; well you're everything to me as well. If anything ever happened to you again, I don't know how I'd cope.’ Her face was wet with tears. ‘I don't want to lose you, son. You're my baby boy, and I love you.’

Aaron took her hand in his. His dwarfed hers. ‘I love you, too, Mum. And I get it, I do. Just… I need you to let me do this. Robert is—’ he swallowed. ‘I love him, Mum.’ He couldn't help smiling: even despite the situation, the words made him smile. ‘I love him. And he loves me. He makes me feel safe. After Tom, I didn't think I'd have that again with another man.’

Chas's breath was a shaky exhale. Paddy nodded. ‘As much as I might have hated to say it, Robert is right for Aaron,’ he said. ‘He makes him happy, I think everyone can see that.’

‘Happier than I thought I could be after Tom,’ Aaron said. ‘Happier than I've ever been.’

‘I can see that the man you know is different from the person I heard about from Katie,’ Chas said. ‘The way he talks about you is just—’ she smiled, and it was genuine. She sniffed and wiped her face with her hands. Mascara smeared, and the sight of it made a knot in Aaron's stomach tighten. He had caused this. But, he told himself, if he hadn't said what needed to be said, he'd feel worse for it. The knot loosened. ‘I'll promise you what I promised Robert,’ Chas said. ‘I'll step back, not completely, but… enough that I won't be overbearing.’ She took Aaron's hands in hers. ‘But if he hurts you, I swear Aaron, I will make him regret it.’

‘He won't,’ Aaron said. ‘I know he won't.’

Chas smiled. She cupped his jaw. ‘Let your mother have this at least,’ she said. Aaron rolled his eyes good naturedly and nodded along with her. ‘Right.’ She patted his face, and pulled back with an enormous exhale. ‘I'm gonna clean up my face, and then Paddy, why don't you treat me to a drink at the B ‘n’ B, eh? It's still my night off.’

Paddy stood so quickly he was a blur. ‘Absolutely!’

Aaron chuckled, then realised that Chas was giving Robert and he free time in the house. Alone. ‘Mum, you don't have to do that.’

‘What, I don't deserve a night off?’

‘That's not what I meant.’

‘I know, son. But I promised you. And,’ she held up a finger. ‘I will be taking my phone with me, so if you need me I'll be here like a shot.’

Aaron smiled. It was a start. It was definitely a start, and more than he thought he'd get from her after the way dinner went. He leaned forward and hugged her. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered. 

****

Chas had left after several backwards glances at Aaron and Robert, who had joined them in the kitchen when Aaron told him the coast was clear. However, she didn't say a word, and again Aaron took that as progress. 

Paddy ushered her out the door, and as soon as it closed behind them, Aaron slumped with relief. ‘Thought she'd never leave,’ he muttered. Robert grinned. 

‘Well, I thought I was going to get kicked out. Count our blessings, Baby.’ Robert leaned into him and kissed Aaron's smile. But then his own smile started to drop. 

Aaron saw the moment that the mood changed, and his back stiffened. ‘Y’alright?’ he asked. 

‘Hm? Yeah, I just—’ Robert's mouth opened and closed a few times. ‘Aaron, she said—your Mum said that a few years ago she thought she'd lost you. What was she talking about?’

Ice cracked Aaron's stomach. He clenched his fists. Robert noticed—of course he did—and prised them open. ‘Hey,’ he whispered. ‘You can tell me anything. Or nothing. I don't want to bring up bad memories.’

He wanted to tell Robert that he didn't want to talk about it; he was tired enough as it was, and he just couldn't deal with rehashing any of that. He didn't want Robert to see him differently. 

‘Aaron?’

‘If I tell you, you'll look at me like everyone else.’

‘How does everyone else look at you?’

‘Like I'm a victim. Like I should be pitied.’ He shook his head. ‘I can't bear to see that from you.’

A small frown dipped the corners of Robert's mouth and eyebrows. ‘Aaron… you're the strongest person I know. I could never see you as anything else.’

Aaron bit his lip. Robert had told him so much about his life; when it mattered, he had held nothing back. But still…

‘Is that how _you_ see _me_?’ Robert asked, his voice just a breath on the air. ‘A victim?’

‘What? No! Robert—’

‘Then why do you think I'd think that about you?’

Despite it all, Aaron huffed a small laugh. ‘That was—’

‘Sneaky?’ Robert grinned, but sobered just as quickly. ‘I'm not gonna pressure you, Baby. If you don't want to tell me, don't. If you want me to never bring it up again, I won't.’

Robert was right: Aaron didn't think of him as a victim; not of his father, or Louise. He was just… _Robert_. The man he loved; the man he trusted. ‘I want to tell you,’ Aaron decided. ‘But not here.’ He took Robert's hand and led him upstairs. When Robert made to close the door, Aaron stopped him, and Robert didn't question it. 

Aaron hoisted himself up the bed and settled against the headboard. He took calming breaths, but still his hands shook. Until Robert took them in his. He bent his head and pressed a kiss to each palm, then Aaron's wrists. 

‘I'm here,’ he whispered. His breath was hot against Aaron's skin. Like ice freezing over a lake, the memories made the very blood in his veins cold, but when Aaron squeezed Robert's hands the paralysing, icy fear cracked little by little. He was safe, loved. Loved like no one had loved him before, and with a solid certainty, Aaron knew that no one else would love him like this again. He looked into Robert's warm eyes, and remembered…


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn’t a pleasant one, though it was great to write! It deals with a single part of the emotional abuse Aaron suffered at the hands of Tom. I put this into a separate chapter so that it is easily avoidable if you so wish. 
> 
> A small but important disclaimer: I am not trying to glamourise any part of abuse, I am simply writing a story. I have also thankfully never been abused, so the thoughts that Aaron has are all from my own imagination. I do not intend to offend anyone by putting those thoughts in his head.

_It had been hours. Longer than Tom’s normal working day. Aaron listened to the passing time, counting the silence between his own heartbeats. He wanted to never see Tom again. He_ needed _to see him again._

What had Tom done to him?

‘I love him,’ _he had told Chas, Paddy._ ‘I want this.’ _But that had been before Tom had ridiculed him, bullied him, and locked him away._

‘It's for your own good,’ _Tom would say._ ‘I don't want anything to happen to you. You understand that don't you?’

_Sometimes Aaron nodded, and Tom would smile. Then he'd leave and lock the door behind him, and Aaron would watch the car move off from the driveway, a yearning in his heart. Hurry back, he'd think. Don't ever come back, he'd think._

_Then sometimes he'd be brave and tell Tom no, he didn't understand why he kept him locked away like this. And Tom would snarl, would grip the back of his neck much too tight—a bastardisation of a lover’s grip—and he'd tell Aaron how stupid he was, how if Aaron couldn't see Tom was doing this for him he was more useless than Tom thought. And Aaron would freeze, would believe him. And Tom's grip would loosen, and his eyes would soften, and he'd tell Aaron that he needed him to understand. And Aaron would. And he'd watch Tom go. Hurry back, he'd think. Don't ever come back, he'd think._

_****_

_Aaron didn't sleep. He must have zoned out though, because he was soon finding himself in the room. He blinked. For a moment he thought he was at the cricket pavilion. He thought he was waiting for Adam to meet him. Adam. He missed his friend. Maybe he'd ask Tom to let him call Adam. Or text him._

What has he made you?! _a voice in his head screamed._ Why do you need his say-so?! _But it was becoming easier and easier to ignore that voice, to brush it off and just think Tom cares about me. He doesn't want to see me hurt. Because if he went out, people would laugh at him, would treat him like a joke. Tom wanted to protect him from that._

_He heard the slamming of the car door, and Aaron rushed to the window._ Tom! _he thought with elation._ Tom! _he thought with dread._

_His boyfriend stomped up the stairs and opened the door. Aaron greeted him with a shaking smile._

_‘You're late,’ he said._

_Tom nodded. ‘I wanted to get your phone sorted.’_

_‘My—my phone sorted?’ Aaron frowned. ‘Why? What was wrong with it?’_

_‘Nothing,’ Tom said. ‘Your family kept calling, leaving messages.’_

_‘What—’_

_‘You didn't hear them, Aaron. Saying that you haven't called, that you must have forgotten about them.’ He snarled and shook his head. ‘The tone in their voices. They may as well just call you an idiot and be done with it.’_

_Aaron swallowed. He believed Tom. He nodded. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘So, what have you done to my phone?’_

_Tom reached into his pocket and pulled out Aaron's mobile. He clicked the home button, then turned it over to him. ‘I had a new SIM card fitted,’ he said. ‘You've got a new number. That way, they can't contact you.’_

And I can't contact them, _said that voice in Aaron's head with increasing dread._ Get out! Get out now!

_But he trusted Tom_ (Why?? Why the fuck do you trust him??), _so he took the phone with a small utterance of thanks. Just us, he thought. The way it should be._

_****_

_Another day. Alone. Tom had gone into work. That morning he had greeted Aaron with a scornful ‘staying home again, are you?’_

As if he wasn't the one to make him this way. As if he wasn't the one to make Aaron afraid of going out.

_But by the time he was ready to leave, he was pleasant again, and kissed Aaron goodbye. He promised him a takeaway tonight. Curry, maybe. Whatever Aaron wanted._

_Aaron lay in bed when Tom left. The lock on the bedroom door clicked. He barely reacted anymore. He lay there and he lay there and he lay there. An hour later, his phone on the bedside cabinet lit up with a text._

_‘I'm at work,’ the text read. ‘Take it easy today.’ Scornful, part of him whispered. Kind, part of him shouted._

This isn't normal.

_The thought came unwillingly; suddenly. Aaron shook his head, trying to throw it off, but it wouldn't budge. It was the phone, he'd realise later. The phone was the last straw._

He's stopping you from going out. He's stopping you from calling anyone. What is he going to _do_ to you?!

_And all at once, Aaron was hyperventilating. God. Tom could—he could do anything to Aaron. And no one would know._

_Need to get out. Need to leave._

_He sat up in bed. He fumbled for the phone. There were of course no numbers in his contacts list. ‘Fuck!’ He realised he was sobbing. ‘Fucking—oh god! What—what do I— oh fucking Jesus—’_

_He was trembling. He couldn't think._

Okay stop just stop. Think! Think about—right, you've called Adam enough times. You've called your Mum even more. Think!

_He shook his head. He couldn't—there was nothing there! God, Tom was right! He was useless, stupid! He couldn't even—_

Don't! You're not stupid! Just—just calm down.

_And somehow he did. It took time. He lost track of how many heartbeats he had stayed there for, just letting his thumb click in and out of his contacts as if expecting something different. But then his breath calmed. Little by little. And he let himself drift. He didn't return to the cricket pavilion. But there was a memory. Lots of them. Entering his Mum’s number into phone after phone. Into hospital forms and school forms and job forms._

_And just like that, without even thinking properly, his thumb remembered the numbers that his mind thought he had forgotten. His breathing came harsh. What if it wasn’t right? What if she had changed numbers? What if—_

_It was ringing._

_He held his breath. Oh god. This is—Tom could—but he needed—_

_‘Hello?’_

_Aaron breathed. ‘Fuck. Mum. Mum—don’t—’_

_‘What—Aaron? AARON? Love, what’s—’_

_‘Don’t hang up. Okay? Don’t—fuck—please don’t—’_

_‘Aaron. Aaron, I’m here. Darlin’—sweetheart I’m here.’ She was sobbing. His Mum was crying because of him. Shit, Tom was right! Aaron was a useless waste of space! He didn’t deserve— ‘Aaron! Where are you? Sweetheart, answer me please!’_

_‘I don’t—Mum! I—’_

_A voice in the background, and Aaron’s breath caught. It was Tom, he told himself. He’d found Chas—he’d found her and—_

_‘Aaron?’_

_Paddy. ‘Help me!’_

_‘Oh my god, Aaron… What—where are you? Aaron, breathe. Breathe, okay, nice and easy. Where are you? Are you hurt?’_

_‘Tom’s…I’m at Tom’s.’_

****

_He kept talking. Wouldn’t stop. They told him ‘Don’t hang up, sweetheart! We’re coming for you!’ so he kept talking to them. Even though he was sobbing and his breath was catching. He kept talking. And then he heard the banging on the door._

_‘Aaron, we’re downstairs, love!’ Chas shouted. He could hear her; over the phone and through the window. ‘Open the door, darlin’.’_

_‘I can’t,’ he whimpered. ‘Mum, I can’t—he locks the door, Mum!’_

_Chas sobbed harder. ‘He’s locked in!’ she called to Paddy. ‘Cain, kick the damn door down!’_

_Cain was there. Aaron didn’t even have time to think about his uncle seeing him in this state before the door downstairs was being kicked in, and then footsteps thundering upstairs. And even though he knew it was them, part of Aaron’s mind conjured Tom. Then another kick to the bedroom door, and he knew it wasn’t Tom. He’d never got physically abusive towards Aaron. It wasn’t him. It WAS them. And they’d come to save him._

_The door slammed open. Chas rushed in. She gathered Aaron in her arms, and Aaron fell willingly into them._

_He didn’t realise Adam was there as well until they were in the car on the way back. Until he had calmed down a bit, enough to tell himself that this was real: that he wasn’t in that room; that he wouldn’t come to in a few moments and see a blank wall in front of him; that he wasn’t in a locked room waiting for Tom to return._

_‘I’ll kill him,’ Chas was muttering in Aaron’s hair. She hadn’t let go of him since they found him. Through stumbling downstairs and lurching out the door and throwing himself into the back of Cain’s car, she hadn’t let go of him. ‘I’ll kill him.’_

_‘Chas,’ Paddy said softly._

_‘He’s gonna pay, Paddy.’_

_‘Maybe tone it down till later, yeah?’ Adam said. He was sat on Aaron’s next side and had one hand on his shoulder. ‘Just—let’s get Aaron home first.’_

_Home. Aaron closed his eyes. Breathed in. Breathed out. Safe._

_****_

_He didn’t want to press charges. And he didn’t want Cain’s own version of retribution. He just wanted to forget. It took a while for Chas to accept that. She wanted Tom to pay for hurting him. She wanted him six feet under. But pressing charges meant a court case if they had enough evidence. And Aaron didn’t want to relive all of that in front of strangers. He wanted to forget it. Of course he wasn’t stupid enough to think that Tom just stayed away of his own volition. He imagined Cain threatened him. Maybe broke a few bones. But Aaron didn’t want to know._

_Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, because after he had calmed—after weeks, months—of fearing a key in a lock, Aaron became angry. He lashed out at everyone. His temper was short. If he had called the police, if he had sorted it from the start, maybe he wouldn’t be so angry now. Tom was right. He was just a stupid boy who—_

‘Tom wasn’t right about anything, Baby.’

Aaron blinked. His room. Robert.

A hand on his hand. ‘Look at me.’ He did. Robert’s eyes were warm, soft. After remembering Tom’s cold, hard, steel eyes it was almost enough to make Aaron weep. ‘He didn’t know anything about you. Okay?’ Robert didn’t drag him into a hug, just left his hand where it was. Instead, Aaron fell into his arms and Robert didn’t hesitate in drawing him closer. ‘God, I could kill him myself,’ he muttered. His voice rasped, like it was being pulled across jagged rocks.

‘I didn’t tell you that to… get some kind of revenge on him,’ Aaron said.

‘No, I know I know.’ Robert inhaled a heavy breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was back to normal. ‘You’re safe now. And nothing’s changed. All right?’

At first, Aaron wasn’t sure what he meant. But then he looked into Robert’s eyes; properly looked. And he didn’t see pity there. He didn’t see that look which was in Adam’s eyes that first time that Aaron freaked out when he heard a key turn in a lock. Or in Chas’s eyes when—a few months after… after—Aaron had said he should probably to talk to someone about things. Or in Cain’s eyes when Aaron first raised a crowbar, then dropped it immediately after and Tom’s name fell from his loose lips. Or Paddy’s when Aaron had his third panic attack in a day. Robert… Robert hadn’t changed. Despite the past Aaron had told him, Robert hadn’t run a mile and he hadn’t tried to pity Aaron.

Aaron breathed out, and it was as if he had been holding his breath for _days_. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘Yeah, I know.’

**Author's Note:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)Port in a Storm


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